Zombies Don't Ride Motorcycles

by Melissa Leo-Pahl

Then the stealing.

  The arguments.

  The threats.

  The fist-fight.

  Then the boot.

  All the while, he had his little sister caught in the crossfire.

  Some big brother I turned out to be.

  His raspy laugh cut off into a spasm of choked off sounds. His throat, now too dry to cough.

  He opened up his eyes again. Even in the dark, the hallucinations still found him. Colors presented themselves to him where colors should not be. The dark shifted this way and that, like shadows dancing to the light of a flame. One shadow had decided that it was finally time. It walked out from between the darkest dark.

  The cloak and hood hobbled into the center of the room and stopped just short of the dying young man. Jace tried to focus and failed. He could barely make out the outline of the man in black standing before him. Yet, he could sense that someone was standing there. If Death needed to breathe, surely Jace did not hear it. In the confines of this prison, he sometimes heard what he thought could only be the flow of his own bloodstream. The creator of this room designed it to maintain a negative decibel level. The architect was most either quite cracked, or a major asshole, but he was most probably quite a bit of both. The addict licked at his own lips and felt how cracked they were. He looked up at the figure standing before him and imagined the skull that lay beneath the hood. Dried and yellowed bone, empty sockets leaning in ever closer. His dry, dusty breath choking out what little air that was left for him down here.

  “What took you so long?” The effort to speak felt like barbed wired streaking upward the length of his throat. The reaper only shrugged and pointed skyward toward the hatch.

  Jace nodded.

  “Imagine you’ve been pretty busy then, huh?”

  Death nodded.

  “Well, I’m ready. Take me from this life. I was never much good at it anyway.” The darkness leaned in hard and wrapped itself tight and then tighter around him.

  This is it, Jace thought. I just hope I’m not trading one hell for another.

  He felt his vision go blurry and decided that he knew what he wanted the last thing he would ever see to be. He looked up toward the halo of light and imagined his sisters’ face in the middle. He smiled and then he waited as Death leaned in to kiss him…

  KANG! KANG! KANG!

  Jace’s eyes ripped open.

  Muffled scratches.

  A muffled voice.

  Unrecognizable.

  One syllable, screamed repeatedly.

  The darkness eased itself off him slowly. Jace’s mind was reeling. He was groggily becoming self-aware again, like one who was just waking up and getting their bearings. The lights were not all on yet, but they were struggling to be. Like a lighthouse cutting through the fog in his mind, the repeated syllable finally burst through clear.

  “JACE!”

  He knew that voice, but the systems in his head were not all back online yet. He knew that he needed to let them know that he was down there. Though he was crawling his way slowly back to the reality of his situation, he could only manufacture a loud grunt.

  A yelp.

  More words and frantic excitement.

  The sound of metal against metal.

  What in the hell is going on up there, he thought.

  The muffled clang of a dropped pipe.

  An expletive.

  The pitter-patter of small running feet.

  The tell-tale snap of the power going out.

  His halo of light being swallowed whole by the darkness.

  Jace screamed. “What the hell is happening to me?” He started again, pounding the walls with his fists. His hands slid down in defeat only after a few moments.

  The hatch above swung open heavily with a crash. A flashlight beam cut the darkness in half and Death jumped away. Slinking back into the furthermost shadows.

  “Jace? Is that you?” a girlish voice pleaded.

  In place of the hatch and the halo of light, framed only by the dimness of the flashlight was Ellie’s face. However, Jace couldn’t see it. His salty tears had already brimmed at just the sound of her angelic voice.

  For the second time that night, he choked on his words.

  “What took you so long …sissy?”

  ***

  Ellie

  Ellie pulled her brother up from his would-be grave and wrapped her arms around him to make sure he was real. Still unable to see him clearly in the dimming light of her flashlight, she patted him down to check for injuries or bites. Nothing was out of the ordinary. Only the scabs forming on his fingertips were tender to her touch. She noticed the blood seeping through the cracked scabs on his index fingers. She pressed the extra fabric of her dress to his wounds, hoping like hell that the smell wouldn’t attract any unwanted attention.

  “Thank Christ,” she choked out. She rocked his body in her arms and sobbed into his neck. His emaciated frame shocked her to her core. Jace was never this small, never so thin. Not even with his addiction did he look so much like a man who was awaiting death. This man in her arms that once was an all-state athlete and every woman’s wet dream; was now a ghost trapped in this shell of her brother. Malnourished wasn’t even the word for it anymore.

  Jace was coughing and gasping trying to calm his breathing. The fresh crisp air was struggling to force its molecules through his exhausted lungs.

  “Ell-ie Belle, ne-ed w-wat-water” Jace rasped out in between short breaths.

  While thanking her lucky stars that she found him and he was still breathing, Ellie reached into her backpack and pulled out her canteen of water. With shaky hands popped the top off, and began slowly pouring the cool liquid into his mouth. He struggled with the coldness of the water then began greedily swallowing it in hopes of soothing the burning dryness caused by the dust and dirt he inhaled down in his personal hell.

  The water began to pool in his mouth when he shifted his eyes to the corner of the hole where he was locked away and forgotten. He caught a glimpse of something in the shadows, something hiding, something still waiting to take him from his little sisters’ embrace. In his mind he raised his hand and flicked Death off but the reality of it remained that he could barely even raise his wrist to perform the sign. He clutched his long fingers around her wrists to still her hand with the canteen and spoke gravely after swallowing.

  “N-no more. Need t-to get out of h-here, n-now.”

  “Kay Jace, but you should know it’s different out there. Mom and Dad, they’re gone. The virus, Bubba, it killed them and everyone we know.” Jace vaguely remembered that the hospitals were filling up fast before he went in the hole, but he wasn’t prepared for what was about to come out of his sisters mouth.

  Jace looked up into Ellie’s eyes and saw them glistening with unshed tears. She went on to tell him that in the past weeks people have been literally ‘dropping like flies’ then coming back as hollowed and soulless monsters hungering for fresh blood.

  “Like zombies?” Jace looked at her puzzled and still trying to focus his eyes on her face.

  “The undead, walkers, flesh eating corpses, the crazies; whatever the hell you want to call it but yes, just like Z.O.M.B.I.E.S.”

  “Why d-do I f-feel like you a-are going to quote your favorite Ishtar from the ‘Epic of Gilgamesh’ to me sissy?”

  “Because Bubba, he was right. In the end, the dead outnumber the living.”

  He recognized the reference immediately. Something about when hell filled to capacity, the dead would walk above because there was no other place for them to go.

  “Sissy, what the hell are you talking about?”

  She never had the chance to answer. A slapping sound from outside the covered hallway window interrupted them. Jace felt his blood turn cold as the moan of a dying man began to bleed through the walls.

  “What the hell…,” Jace began.

  Ellie swung her arm up quickly and clasped her hand over Jace’s mouth. She dragged his eyes down to hers and let her lips
soundlessly form the words “Not. A. Sound.” He nodded in acquiesce. She pulled him slowly toward the exit leading him surely to what would be the best path of escape. A nagging notion stopped him in his tracks and Ellie nearly fell forward on her own face. She turned to him.

  “What are you doing?” she mouthed sharply.

  Jace only shook his head and turned his attention back to the pit that he had just been sprung from. He let go of Ellie’s hand, leaned back over the entrance. He peered downward for a moment, took a swift care to salute his personified enemy below. The man freed from Death’s grasp proceeded to close the hatch and spun the dial down until it would turn no more.

  The way out was quick and uneventful. A small red hatchback stood parked just outside the entrance to the rehab center. Ellie helped her limping brother into the passenger seat. She got him settled just in time to see a trio of walkers crowning from around the side of the building. Their arms raised up and forward, already grasping for the meals just beyond the length they could barely sense for purchase.

  Ellie hauled over and with a quick pop of the door handle, dived into the car. Moments later, they were barreling down the highway, leaving the hungry monsters well behind them.

  She looked over to her brother. He was slipping back into the throes of the shakes. These were the very same shakes that prompted the family to get him to go into rehab in the first place. He began to fidget and slowly they would build up to a crescendo. Soon it would take over his whole body and make him violently ill. Then he would retch until nothing came up, and then he would retch some more. Ellie remembered the last night he had done this. His face was splotched from the strain from him bearing through his dry-heaves. All the broken blood vessels made him the very visage of the walking dead themselves. He was their poster boy.

  She knew he would be incoherent soon. She had better ask him before he passed out.

  “What was all that back there? Closing that hatch back?” she asked.

  Jace had his face curled up against the seat. He lifted his head up long enough to answer.

  “You just rescued me from certain Death. I’ll be damned if I was going to make it easy for him.”

  Jace smiled lovingly at his sister who looked at him sadly, like he had lost his mind. He accepted this as he had expected it and let his eyes roll back into his head. The last words he heard before embracing unconsciousness was his name being screamed by his sister and then the world faded to black.

  (April 20, 2015)

  Phoenix

  It was a castle, to say the least. Sitting upon on hill looking down over the Marais des Cygnes River. The stone work was rough-hewn enough to make any wannabe princess writhe in ecstasy, and pine for her prince to come slay the dragon to rescue her. The left wing, was deemed unfit to house any patients by its progenitors due to structural damage from a tornado that had skirted by some five or six years hence. Time had not been kind to the structure; the roof had long since developed ever-expanding holes as the elements continued to smite off the bits of brick and wood, allowing rain water to decay and dilapidate this side of the building. The edifice was once used in a horror movie, although no one ever dared to actually set foot inside the building itself. The hospital’s unique two-faced frontal vista, one light and one dark, allowed it to become almost a reviled character of horror unto itself. The hospital had barely enough money coming in to run the rest of the facility, let alone attempt to repair this side back up to functional use. Phoenix looked up towards the massive structure that would now separate her from her sister.

  Parker was Phoenix’s sister. Her twin sister. Her friends had always thought the hospital was haunted and wondered why she would want to work there, but that did not stop her. She wanted to be more like her sister, who lived for the thrill, to have her adrenaline pumping, to feel her heart beat faster than a humming bird’s wings. She was ready for this, she had to be. There was no turning back now. Checking in with the superintendent Ralph, she began her daily tasks.

  ***

  Not long into her first shift, she heard the screams. They seemed to be coming from the left wing. She looked down the hall and noticed the plastic sheet that was covering the entry way begin to sway as the air from the vents lightly kissed it. The screeching sound of someone wailing in agony reached her ears again and this time it came with the thundering sound of footsteps. The superintendent was running down the corridor towards her screaming for her to “RUN!”

  Only then did she notice his disheveled appearance and his once starched-stiff white lab coat now soaked with blood.

  “Oh my God,” she faintly whispered.

  Quickly turning in the direction of the exit, she stumbled into her medical cart knocking it over.

  “Oh, for the love of --” she shouted in frustration.

  Instantly she noticed the quietness surrounding her. No one was screaming for her help or for her to run.

  “This had better not have been a fucking prank! Ralph where are you? This isn’t funny anymore and I’m not in a fucking mood to play games!” She hollered this while whipping around, looking around for the superintendent. Her words echoed off the walls in all directions.

  Still sprawled out on top of the cart she waited for his response.

  Nothing.

  Only the crackling of the electricity humming filled the air.

  A minute had passed and still nothing.

  The lights began to flicker.

  The overhead lights were struggling to hang on. The once blinding fluorescent beams danced frantically from end to end, waiting until the generators would kick in. The fluorescent lights were fighting a useless battle and the electricity was being sucked further back into the wires to which they came.

  After a few more seconds, the silence was broken. The beginning chords to “Fallen Angels” on her phone startled her out of her trance. Noticing the caller ID as her twin sister Parker she quickly answers.

  “Phoenix…..Phoenix, hello, you there?” Parker asks.

  “Yeah, I’m here. What’s up?” Phoenix responded quietly as possible keeping her eyes open for anything while pressing her back up against the closest wall.

  “WHAT’S UP? .... HAVE YOU NOT SEEN THE NEWS OR EVEN LOOKED OUTSIDE?” Parker screamed at her sister. “IT’S LIKE FREAKING ARMAGEDDON! Fuck…I never should have left you there alone.”

  The sound of small metal wheels squawking, skipping with the friction against the cold linoleum grabbed her attention. She hushed at the phone and slapped it against her chest to quite her sister. Cringing at the sound as it echoed around her, they were definitely in desperate need of some WD-40. Phoenix raises her head to see a gurney that is slowly coming her way with what looks like a red sheet draped over something lumpy. She freezes in her spot with her hand over her mouth to control her screams as the gurney passes her and she realizes instantly that the lumpy thing on it was a piece of Ralph. His torso to be exact and it was still wearing his lab coat, now redden with color bleeding outward in concentric pools, his name badge dangling off the edge.

  Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God! She kept the scream confined to the insides of her head.

  “Parker he’s dead. Oh my God, he’s dead.” she whispered into the phone, her voice cracking on the end.

  “Who?” her sister asks.

  “Ralph, the superintendent.”

  “He...”

  “He...”

  “Oh God, his body just rolled by. What is left of it.”

  “Shit! Phoenix, ok I need you to listen to me. You need to hide, I’ll come and get you, just hide somewhere in there safe, lock yourself in a room, and I’ll come get you. Do you understand?”

  “Yes” Phoenix squeaked out.

  “Text me when you find a safe place and do it quickly. Protect yourself with anything you can find, make sure it’s sharp. I’ll be there soon. I’m about two hours away.” Parker rushed out to her sister as the sound of a key being jammed into the ignition and the car roaring to life.

 
; “Ok just hurry and be careful.”

  “Just sit tight Phee-Phee, I’m on my way. Now go find some supplies and lock yourself up.” With that being said, the line went dead.

  Never a ‘goodbye’ had ever been said between them and now they weren’t going to break tradition. Making sure that those would not be the last words spoken to her sister, Phoenix did what she was told. She lifted herself off the floor in search of Ralph’s keys, and whatever she can find to defend herself.

  ***

  Parker

  The girl kicked the door of her car open, smacking her knee as it sling-shot back with a return volley. This was as far as she could go by car. She jumped outside double-time, not bothering to slam the door, and threw her throbbing leg over a parked motorcycle. Parker absentmindedly scratched at her forearm. Her sense of smell kicked in and she looked to where she had scratched.

  A small puddle of blood started to pool and run, forming tiny lightning bolts across her skin. She had scraped away at several insect bites. Damn bugs, she thought. Eyes still on the beckoning road, she blindly reached back into the side compartment, feeling for leftover Subway napkins. Her boyfriend would eat Subway morning, noon, and night. This wasn’t his bike, but in her mind all napkins where Subway napkins. The fingertips united with one the already used napkins, she snatched it up hurriedly.

  Parker slowed the machine to a halt, stopping on the dotted white line. She slapped the paper hard against her skin to staunch the tiny wounds. Rolling her sleeve down over it would keep it in place.

  With a hurried flick of her little wrist, the bike shot ahead and nearly went over the side of a steep bank. She jerked it back without thinking. The bike responded instantly by nearly running off the other side of the road. Parker cursed her hands. She was used to driving an old Cutlass Supreme. She had never been a power-steering kind of gal.

  Her thoughts returned to the sweet sixteen present she had moments ago left behind. Just turning the wheel to go around a shallow curve required her to use both of her dainty hands. There was no way any car was going to get through all of this mess. She eyed the jungle of abandoned cars and bodies before her.