Zombies Don't Ride Motorcycles

by Melissa Leo-Pahl

  “We’re fine. Fayte. Let go of me sweetie. Go to Byron.”

  The little girl complied, sniffling the whole way. Charlie pulled herself up off of the ground, keeping one gun on the car. She walked around to it slowly, the end cap obscuring any occupants. She circled and found that no occupants were in the car at all. However it did have one lone passenger on its hood.

  What the fuck!?

  The body was clearly a zombie, or at least it had once been a zombie. The telltale signs of dried blood and pronounced blotchy veins were enough to cinch that for her. It had been hog-tied at the feet and then its arms opened wide across the windshield. To Charlie, it almost looked like he had been crucified against the hood of the car. This was not the case as it had not been killed when it was attached. It made its last final sputters and coughs even as they were staring at it before it gave up the last bit of its ghost. Charlie slipped out her Ka-Bar and slipped it into its head just for good measure. Bryon and Jace approached as well, their minds boggled on a motive.

  “Who would even dare do such a thing?” Bryon shook his head. He was completely flabbergasted. His mind had always had a hard time dealing with the concept of evil. This blew his mind. Jace looked over the scene and started to come up with some conclusions on his own. His train of thought halted when something on the body caught his eye.

  “Charlie. Look.” He pointed to a dagger that was protruding from the ‘passenger’s chest. Attached just under the blade was a note, sealed on all sides. Charlie reached over carefully and pulled the blade out and retrieved the paper. After slicing it open, she read it and got the answers they were all looking for.

  Greetings my most un-loyal subjects,

  I am the man who has no name. I have decided that I want to rule this new world we have found ourselves in. I am not thrilled in your weak attempt to kill me, in fact quite the opposite. I will create a rule in this new world in my image. I have places for each of you in my new order. Some of them being my dinner table. The rest of you will live your remaining lives worshiping and serving me as I see fit. If you refuse this, this one chance of life, I will continue to pick each and every one of you off of this Earth.

  Continue, you ask? Yes. I have already started to thin out your little herd. Your little twin friends, Parker and Phoenix. Yes, they are mine now. I grabbed your precious Phoenix up from you and, just as I planned, her sister gave chase. If you do not believe the sincerity of my demands, I suggest you go visit the first drug-store you see thirty minutes north of your location. Let what you see, spell out the remainder of my intentions should you defy me.

  Your Zombie King

  Whatever name he signed with was obscured by a patch of fresh blood that bled through the paper.

  “What the fuck happened?” screamed Callen.

  “We got a message. A very loud one.” Charlie said.

  “Did you find the girls?” asked Byron.

  “Apparently this mother fucker has the girls,” said Charlie. She held up the offending note and Callen snatched it up and read without taking a breath. He finished and stood there slack jawed. His only thoughts were of Phoenix and the few precious moments he had shared with her.

  If that asshole hurt her…I am gonna chase that mother fucker to the ends of the Earth and scatter his limbs in every cardinal direction!

  The letter was passed around to all the boys. Callen was seeing red. He stewed while everyone was taking turns reading. Enough is a-fucking-nuff.

  “We didn’t go that far out,” said Rhyce.

  Callen lost his patience with the lot of them.

  “Get back in car guys. Lets’ go see what present he's left for us.”

  Cross nodded and the other boys followed suit.

  Charlie stepped to intercept them. “This is exactly what he wants. The man has obviously got some major screws loose. For all you know this bastard is just setting y’all up for a fall.”

  Callen got right back up in her face. “Listen chick. We have seen more killers that wanted us for dead than anyone else on the planet. We have walked into buildings with dozens of those fuckers, and then we walked out. We know how to clean house. We know how to take care of ourselves. Stop trying to Mother hen us to death!”

  Charlie stepped back and put her hands up, surrendering her part in the conversation. Instantly Callen felt guilty. He liked Charlie. Respected her even. He had no right to talk to her like that.

  “Look. I’m sorry. But we gotta go. We need to see what this asshole is up to, and pin him to a wall with bullets if he hurt those two girls.” He did not say it, but Charlie could feel and hear the sentiment in his face as he finished. Especially Phoenix.

  “Well, we will attempt to re-barricade this place while you guys are gone, but we are going to have to find a new place to shack up. And soon.” Even as she said it Bryon had already started gathering carts and moving equipment to blockade the door, under Fayte’s guidance of course.

  “You boys hurry back. I don’t like the idea of us splitting up like this again.”

  With a curt nod, the boys left and piled back into the truck, each not knowing what was awaiting them, but fearless and ready all the same.

  The ride out of town was solemn. The wind whistled past the truck as Cross floored the gas pedal, surging the truck down the highway. Rhyce and Callen loaded their shotguns to the brim, also filling the side clip along the barrel with ten extra shells. Tren double checked the clips in both 9mm’s that he and Cross were carrying. All four boys had bowie knives in their respective sheaths hanging from each of their belts. Baseball bats, crowbars, and metal shovels covered the bed of the truck. Each and every handle was aimed towards the tailgate, ready for the drop.

  The Walgreens parking lot was darkened by the shade of the nearby trees. Giving the scene before them an eerie vibe. To make matters worse and to prove Fayte right yet again, rows of blackened clouds started rolling in from the northwest. Bringing with its darkness, sheets of rain so thick that from where they were, it decreased their visibility to at least twenty percent. The boys would have to make this trip a short one if they were going to get back to the others before God opened up the heavens on them. Making them an easy target for all the walkers within hearing range. Callen knew the thunder alone would herald the horde into the open to commence some feeding ritual that was ingrained into their infected brains.

  The tires screeched to a halt fifteen feet away from the opened doors. All of the windows were either boarded up or blackened out with the CDC’s poster warnings. Their warnings came a little too late. Half of the country, let alone the world, was already dead…or undead.

  “Leave the engine on Cross, just beep the locks. In case we need to haul ass out of here.” Tren ordered as he lowered his eyes from the oncoming storm. Cross nodded and exited the truck, beeped the locks as requested and the four Junction City boys grabbed the weapons from the bed of the truck and proceeded into the darkened abyss that once was a Walgreens.

  The scene before them was that of a normal pharmacy store. Product still lined its full shelves, cigarettes were safely locked behind a single layer of Plexiglas. The boys all made a mental note to empty that case before leaving. Impulse buys were scattered about the registers.

  “Matches, lighters, and chap-sticks, oh my,” Rhyce sang as he walked passed the BIC display case to his left. The other three boys all stopped, turned to their friend and in quick succession they all swatted at his head. Silencing the brute once more. The time for joking was long gone. For them, this zombie bastard had made this even more personal.

  The putrid smell of decaying flesh was wafting up from one of the aisles like a beacon on a lighthouse, signaling the boats to shore. The four boys spanned out, each taking an aisle, Callen forging ahead towards the odor itself. He cocked the shotgun, filling its barrel with a round, preparing himself mental and physically for what he might have to do. He sent a silent prayer to whatever god was up there that it wouldn’t have to come to that.

  Som
e of last year’s Halloween décor was mixed in with fireworks from New Years’ and the stale chocolates from Valentine’s Day, were all on a table separating him from the next sections of aisles. The boys all converged here as this table was the only thing in the way from what was hanging halfway down the toy aisle.

  Skinny wrists were duct taped together and tied above its head, a floor to ceiling electrical pole at its back. A lonely fire extinguisher still dangled from its metal clamp positioned between its arms. IT was a female by the judge of the blood strained dress she was wearing. And IT had a name. There was no doubt who this poor soul was.

  “No,” Callen whispered painfully. Phoenix’s life was done and her flames extinguished. His phoenix would never get the chance to rise from the ashes like her name suggests. Instead of seeing a life interrupted, all Callen could see now was a life stolen, not only from her but from him as well. But something even more awful had taken place here. It looked like she had been scalped, and that fucker had done a messy job. Bits of her hair clung to her face and dress, still dangling to the skin it belonged to. Chunks of her brain were missing. Teeth marks were left in their place.

  The fucker had eaten her God damned brain!

  Callen screamed in his head. His body began to shake, his adrenaline levels were crashing. His eyes betrayed him. Much like that day when he found his parents bodies. Tears flooded down his cheeks, as his lips gave a tiny quiver. Sadness was not the only thing his eyes held. Oh no, they held the anger of a hundred men. Callen wanted more than retribution. Their plan for vengeance was going to need to encompass more than just this so called Zombie king. It needed to include his whole fucking army. Cross and Tren checked the rest of the store for Parker and came up empty. Where ever she was, they hoped she didn’t suffer a fate worse than her sister.

  Rhyce and Cross both stepped forward and handed off their guns to the twins. She deserved to be at peace, not stuck tied to pole. Tren quickly moved to find a table cloth to wrap her frail body in. All the while Callen could only watch. His anger and broken heart had glued his feet to the floor. A clash of thunder was the only thing that broke his bonded stance. Shaking his head to clear the sullenness from his mind, Callen was able to join the others in preparing Phoenix for a quick burial.

  After the tablecloth was wrapped around her body, they began to roll her up in a tarp they had found. The smell of her flesh would be concealed by the plastic, keeping anyone else from snacking on what was left of her. The boys made their way outside to the ditch by the entrance of the parking lot. It would have to do for now. Phoenix’s body was gently laid in the crook of the ditch and small branches that were broken from the trees were placed over her like a pyre. Tren pulled his small can of lighter fluid out of his back pocket and began dousing the girl’s remains. Flicking the match book open, Cross struck the flint igniting the spark, creating a small flickering flame across the matches. He made sure each match head caught fire before tossing it in. The flames began to dance across the leaves, then to their branches, then finally to the tarp and the tablecloth beneath it.

  The rain was almost upon them as they heard a moan in the distance and the sound of metal scraping against concrete. Its fingers gripped the concrete under them, dragging it forward. On the other side of the parking lot was the sorriest excuse for a zombie that the boys had seen yet. It was unable to walk, and not due to missing its legs. No this poor bastard must have turned to a Zom while out riding his Schwinn. One foot was still trapped in the Velcro straps on the pedal while the other was stuck in the spokes of the front wheel. The virus had taken over and the need to feed was the only thing driving the beast to move. Rhyce wasn’t having any of it. He turned and walked to the unfortunate cyclist whilst stripping his weapons off. The beast had awakened and it wanted to play.

  What he lacked in intellect, Rhyce made up in brute strength. He had it in spades. The veins in his neck thickened and pulsed as his heart raced. He was getting angrier by the second. Tren use to swear that in the right lighting, he would have a slight green tint to his skin. Making him almost hulk-like. He just needed the ripped purple pants to complete the transformation. Envisioning the walker as the king himself, Rhyce grabbed him off the ground with one hand wrapped around its ragged neck and the other into the shredded waistband of its pants. He had whipped him up so fast that his feet did not dislodge themselves from their bindings, no they gave up and tore away from the zombie’s legs. Giving the brute exactly what he wanted. With a quick thrust upward, the zombie yelped as it was unsure of its course any more, Rhyce brought its body down hard onto his knee. Shattering its spine.

  He let go of its waist band now that it was paralyzed and gripped its neck in both hands. With a quick twist, and roar as he snapped its neck. The boys looked at their friend and knew instantly that he had let his beast free and it was time to dethrone a king.

  Talks were all over the place. The Junction City Boys were running the gambit of all of their previous plays, literally right out of the book that they were writing. Nothing in their experience so far could help them plan an all-out battle. This maniac was sure making a lot of noise from where he was hiding at. There was no doubt that just his psychopathic tendencies alone were enough to bring a draw of zombies flocking to where he was. Even Byron had enough common sense to know that this guy was more than likely going to be running his place from the high ground and they were going to have to tear through a cackle of walkers just to get to him. By then it would be too late.

  Info was scarce. This lone fact lead to the group arguing out their planned course of action. Everyone had their opinion on it, although not everyone voiced it. Ellie debated in her own head on whether they should even attempt a rescue at all. She was still reeling from her own recent run-in with a rogue that should never had even survived this long in the zombie apocalypse to begin with. After what he had tried to do to her, her faith in humanity had been scratched up. Marred by the skin of evil he had shown her, it had very nearly been a fate worse than death. Given the choice she would of rather chosen being thrown alive to the walkers instead. Shaken in this round of thoughts, she kept silent.

  “But seriously, we have no clue what weapons this guy has,” Tren said.

  “And you know he’s probably got the place flooded with walkers,” chimed Byron.

  “Whatever man, I will just bulldoze through them all. All of us. Just like we always do,” countered Rhyce

  “But this guy is different than those brainless fucks we have been bashing. He obviously is getting ready for us,” said Cross.

  “So, we load up everything we can find, and just throw it at him. End of story,” replied Rhyce.

  “What about the other girl you stupid lunkhead? They are going to get hit in the crossfire,” shouted Cross.

  “Damn. The girl…I almost…”

  Callen’s eyes were already seeing red.

  Fayte closed her own eyes and took it all in. She remained quiet, successfully fading into the woodwork. The gears of her little mind started to spin, calculating all the different possibilities. She had already took into account all of the actions the boys had brought up, and some hundred or so more. Something about the situation was missing. A variable was screaming at her for attention, and as most variables go it still remained dark and unnamed. She recognized the shape though. It was all she needed. From that, she realized as the only possible truth, and there was only one course of action.

  She intended to be part of that action. It was the only way.

  The boys continued to bicker back and forth on the final method of dispatching the self-proclaimed Zombie King. Fayte opened her eyes.

  She walked over quietly to center of the group.

  “Stop it. I have something to say.”

  Everyone broke off the conversation in mid-sentence. Everyone except Rhyce.

  “Little girl. This is an adult conversation. Let us…”

  She refused to let him finish.

  “I. Have. Something. To say.” Her
voice no longer sounded like that of a child, but an aggravated, impatient adult. Rhyce went silent.

  “He’s definitely not alone. I have worked that much out myself.”

  “What do you mean, baby?” asked Charlie.

  Fayte resisted the urge to roll her eyes. “What I mean is that it doesn’t make sense for this guy to send his note through the building like that. I am positive he wrote the note, but he wasn’t the one who sent it by zombie car.”

  Ellie was intrigued and fearful all at the same time. “What do you mean he didn’t send it?”

  “I mean he is not alone. He is partnered up with somebody, and that person did not care whether she hurt us in the process of delivering the message.”

  “I just don’t get it.” said Jace.

  “What do you mean, she?” said Charlie.

  Fayte took a breath before revealing her theory. “I believe he has the other twin under his control.”

  The group could not hide their looks of shock. Fayte continued.

  “This Zombie King wants us all to show up. He wants us. You saw what he did to that one zombie. What he was eating. I think he wants to do the same to us. I think he needs to do the same thing to us.”

  “That is one of the most ridiculous things I have ever heard,” chuckled Rhyce.

  Fayte’s face remained deadpan. With their blood pact in place she no longer felt the need to hide just how smart she really was, she felt it was time to contribute to the plan. And she knew just the thing to take the bastard down. Fayte knew now was definitely the time to let them in on her little secret. Her smile grew at the thought of ending her charade.

  “I have a confession to make to you all,” she said. Her eyes betrayed her nervousness.

  “I am a child prodigy.”

  “We all know you are a smart little girl,” Charlie started.

  “No. I am far beyond most adults. I see things not only as they are, but I can take them apart in my head with relative ease. I can see them as they can be, and rearrange situations to my own benefit. I can formulate possibilities and chose courses of action to dictate what I want to happen next, in situations fifty or so times removed from myself.”