Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon?, Vol. 8

by Fujino Omori

  So it wasn’t Dormul after all…?!

  The true perpetrator was someone else; the kind dwarf had nothing to do with it, causing even more thoughts to race through Eina’s mind. Dormul had just happened to be in the area and misunderstood. He must have honestly believed that Bell had forced her into that dark alley.

  She ran out of the high-class community and onto the quaint street. No one else was in sight. The occasional weak light of a magic-stone lamp illuminated the side of her face as she ran by.

  Her pursuer was quicker. There was no escape.

  She could feel them getting closer, faster. Eina took in a deep breath in preparation to let out a scream that might or might not reach anyone else’s ears.

  “Firebolt!”

  A streak of flaming lightning flashed before she could scream.

  It came from behind her and her black-cloaked pursuer. The magic raced across the stone pavement and exploded so close to them that both Eina and the figure stopped to look.

  Suddenly, the sound of footsteps echoed from overhead, from atop the houses that lined the streeta flash of white hair appeared from the shadows as someone jumped into the air.

  The blur came down on top of the hooded figure, a foot slamming into its back.

  “Uph!”

  “!”

  “B-Bell?!”

  “S-sorry, something just didn’t feel right…I-I should have come quicker.”

  Bell fought to get words out between his ragged breaths. Free from the grip of terror, Eina couldn’t have been more relieved to see him and was suddenly filled with the urge to embrace the boy. Quickly wiping the tears building up in her emerald eyes, she asked him a question. “Wh-what do you mean, something didn’t feel right?”

  “I didn’t want to scare you, so I didn’t say anything, but…there were several pairs of eyes watching us every day when we went back to your place…”

  Bell continued by saying that he had felt a few distant gazes focused on them even when he fought with Dormul.

  Apparently, he had planned on taking her home again tonight because he couldn’t convince himself he was just paranoid. Once he had heard from the Guild that the depressed receptionist had already left, he’d dashed out at full speed.

  “DORYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

  “““!”””

  The situation changed yet again a heartbeat later.

  A muscular dwarf burst onto the quaint side street like a vigorous tank breaking through enemy lines.

  The three figures stayed still, unsure how to respond as the dwarf’s massive fists went straight for the person wearing the black cloak.

  The target spun out of his grasp.

  “Ye all right, Eina?”

  “Is that you, Dormul…? What are you doing here? How did you get out of the Guild?”

  “Made me own door outta that puny wall!”

  Eina slapped her hand against her forehead.

  But Dormul didn’t notice her reaction or the fact that Bell broke out in a nervous sweat. All his senses were focused entirely on the hooded figure, his gaze burning with fury.

  “So ye’re the one? The sicko who’s been stalkin’ Eina?”

  Eina’s eyes went wide in surprise that Dormul somehow knew about her situation.

  At the same time, the trembling hooded figure placed his hands on the edges of the hood.

  “You dare to address me by such an uncivilized title, foul dwarf?”

  “L-Luvis?!”

  Yet another surprise—Eina had lost count of how many—made her jaw drop.

  Elegant golden hair exposed, the elf returned the dwarf’s glare with his own beneath sculpted eyebrows.

  “Prefer I call ye a pervert, two-timin’ elf! How ye gonna explain this away?”

  “Gh…I-I only wanted to express my true feelings for Eina…”

  The area under the elf’s eyes turned a light shade of pink as he cast his gaze in Eina’s direction, before he switched gears and went on the offensive.

  “In…in any case, I became fed up with following all the twists and turns of social convention. It’s my nature to be more straightforward! You’ve made a grave misunderstanding!”

  “Oh-ho! What misunderstandin’ would that be?”

  Bell had been completely left out of the conversation. He stood there, looking left and right as the two other men exchanged verbal blows. Eina watched with the inexplicable feeling that both parties were missing vital information.

  She stepped between them and summoned forth every shred of professionalism she had developed while on the job. “Stop right there, both of you! Both sides of this argument need to be heard, so calm yourselves this instant!”

  The crack of Eina’s verbal whip made Dormul and Luvis fall silent, but the two were still glaring daggers at each other.

  Now that things had settled down a little bit, Eina first turned to the elf.

  “May we please hear your side of the story, Luvis? Every detail that led to this point.”

  “S-sure, I suppose…”

  Luvis gulped down the air in his throat under the pressure of Eina’s stare. Shifting uncomfortably in his robe, he finally nodded.

  “A few days past, when I was present in the Guild lobby…I heard that you were being pursued by an unknown individual, and I took it upon myself to make sure no harm came to you.”

  Eina blinked a few times. The moment that her friend Misha had practically shouted behind the counter immediately replayed in her head. That put that question to rest.

  Most likely, Dormul had also learned of her situation in a similar fashion.

  “Huhhh? Quit yer lyin’, we all know ye were the one from the start…!”

  “Dormul, you will have a turn to speak, so please be quiet for now. As you were saying, Luvis?”

  “Oh, yes…I consulted the god of my familia.”

  …What? Eina froze in place.

  “He advised me that real men should protect from the shadows. So I concealed myself while making sure no harm came to you…”

  “…I-I was told da same thing by me god. A man worthy o’ the title protects from behind.”

  “Wh-what?”

  …Something was very, very off.

  “Basically, the both of you were worried…so you decided to secretly follow me around?”

  “That ’bout sums it up.”

  “I guess, if you put it that way.”

  It was a bitter pill for Eina to swallow. The two adventurers had just admitted to behaving exactly like stalkers.

  But there was more to the story. Their increasingly aggressive approaches were also due to their gods’ advice. They both would do whatever it took to win her heart, and they had blindly followed their deities’ instructions.

  As for the boy who’d been pulled into the situation as a bodyguard, both adventurers saw him as an enemy at the very least. That one-sided rivalry had spiked to dangerous levels when they saw him holding her hand and generally being friendly with her.

  So then that would mean—Eina felt that she was one step away from identifying the true culprit.

  “Dormul also wore something like this, but…Luvis, could you explain the robe…?”

  “Oh, this? My god says it’s the latest ‘trend,’ or something along those lines…”

  “Uh, um…Don’t you think it would go the other way? That would scare her…”

  “What?”

  That was it exactly.

  The white-haired boy cautiously raising his hand as he spoke was right. Wearing that kind of suspicious robe at night would only instill fear in her and make it more likely for Eina to misinterpret their intentions.

  Dormul and Luvis clamped their mouths shut as though it had taken them this long to realize what had happened.

  An awkward silence fell around the four—“Geh-hee-hee-hee!”

  A crackling laughter filled the air from somewhere out of sight.

  J-just as I thought…

  The mortals immediately looked tow
ard the rooftops. That’s when they saw them: two deities holding their stomachs as they pointed and laughed at them.

  —They’d been played, all of them.

  They had danced in the palms of the hands of two bored gods.

  That being the case, most likely the first black-hooded stalker had been one of the two deities. Their plan was to pit their two love-struck followers against each other as soon as both Luvis and Dormul came to them for advice.

  All for “entertainment.”

  Deities typically had no problem treating the many children living on Gekai as nothing more than pieces on a board. They’d been unwittingly sucked into a divine prank.

  “Awww, and I thought for sure Eina would reject them both once they made their move.”

  “I won the bet, fair and square.”

  Both of them shook with laughter beneath the light of the moon. Their followers, Dormul and Luvis, were shaking, too, but for much a different reason.

  “Grrrrrrr…” The dwarf growled, grinding his molars together. Even the proud elf’s skin had turned a scalding red from head to toe.

  Hands clenched into fists, they bore the humiliation.

  “Luvis, Daddy just struck it rich gambling. I’ll treat you to a grand feast once we get home tonight!”

  “Dormuuuul. I’m a bit low on cash—could you lend me a few valis? Pretty please?”

  ““—GO TO HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!””

  A fusillade of bolts from the elf’s short bow and any rocks the dwarf could reach bombarded the two deities.

  However, the two slippery gods made their escape before any of the arrows or rocks could connect. Their laughter echoed off the buildings as the jolly pair disappeared into the moonlit night.

  “…”

  “…Umm.”

  Eina couldn’t say a word, and Bell did his best to break the silence as he looked over at her.

  Dormul and Luvis were furious, shoulders rising and falling as every insult imaginable came flooding out from between gritted teeth under their breaths. That is, until Luvis raised his head.

  “No, no, no! I refuse to let it end this way! Eina, I am in love with you! Please become my eternal partner!!”

  “I-I have a greater love for ye, Eina! Become me bride!”

  “Eh…WHAT?!”

  One more revelation had been waiting for her, and Eina shrieked in surpise. Luvis and Dormul were both blushing as they looked at her. She, too, turned bright red.

  Plenty of men had confessed their love for her, but a marriage proposal? That had never happened in any of her nineteen years of life. What’s more, she could tell by the look in her suitors’ eyes that both proposals were completely serious.

  Bell, once again out of the loop, watched the events unfold with a slack jaw.

  “Like ’ell I can entrust Eina to anyone like ye! Go hole up in the forest ye came from!”

  “Stay your hand! A dwarf such as yourself could never produce offspring with a wonderful girl like her in the first place!”

  “NGAH! What ye plannin’ ta do ta her, ye creep?”

  “D-don’t be a fool!! I’m not some closeted pervert!! I was simply bringing the difference in race to your attention…!”

  Just when it looked as though another verbal sparring match between Luvis and Dormul was about to break out, both turned to Eina at the same moment.

  She was speechless. Her shoulders jumped nervously.

  “Please give me your answer, Eina!”

  “I’m ready, whatever yer answer be!”

  Panic flooded her veins as both pushed for a decision.

  No matter who her answer was, it meant she would become engaged on the spot. Of course, she wasn’t ready for that. And if she refused them without a viable reason, both would continue to hound her with even more determination than before.

  Eina was on the verge of tears as she shifted her gaze.

  There was Bell, just standing there. He shifted his weight from side to side, watching everything unfold without stepping in.

  Say something already, anything…!

  The boy’s silence sparked anger for some reason.

  Everything that had ever frustrated her about him started flashing through her mind as her wide eyes narrowed into a glare. “Huh?” Bell tilted his head to the side with a truly clueless look on his face.

  Eina’s cheeks had become an all-out inferno.

  Whether it was because Bell was present, she didn’t know.

  Her usual calm demeanor long gone, Eina closed her eyes to hide the rage building behind them.

  “—I’m unable to give either of you gentlemen an answer at this time.”

  Then she wrapped her arm around Bell’s elbow and dragged him to her side.

  “Because the two of us are in a relationship!”

  “““WHHHHAAAAAAAAAT—?!”””

  Three shocked voices filled the night.

  “Why are you so surprised?”

  “S-sorry…!”

  Luvis’s ice-cold glare and Dormul’s howling accusation immediately fell on the boy, who offered a terrified apology immediately.

  Both adventurers took a few steps closer to Eina, despite the fact that Bell was still hooked to her side.

  “S-say it ain’t so, Eina!”

  “This is a ruse, is it not?”

  “No, we are seeing each other! He…he confessed to me!”

  Eina squeezed her eyes shut and shouted as loudly as she could. Bell, however, had become somewhat of a rag doll, with a blank look in his eyes.

  Eina’s cheeks were red as apples. She released her grip on Bell’s elbow, grabbed his shoulders, and brought his face directly in front of hers.

  “Bell, of course you remember that day, when you came home safely from the fifth floor! You confessed to me, didn’t you?”

  “?!”

  It felt like years ago. Attacked by a Minotaur but saved by Aiz, Bell had escaped with his life.

  You said those words, Eina silently screamed through her eyes as she pulled the boy even closer.

  Right now, right here, one more time—say them again.

  All the energy in her body was channeling through her emerald pupils. Her nose was close enough to his that they’d touch with one sudden twitch. She wasn’t blinking, only conveying the message with every fiber of her being.

  The boy’s lips started to open and close, yet no words came out.

  “Tell them, Bell. Say it. Say what you said on that day.”

  Bell’s eyes started to spin in front of Eina’s bright-red face and desperate plea.

  Then his lips finally moved as it dawned on him.

  “I…lo-ve…you…”

  Cheeks burning bright red, the boy looked down at his feet.

  “—There! There you have it! Hear—hear how he wants to protect me! And he—Bell is the right person for me!!”

  The final blow.

  BANG! Dormul and Luvis staggered backward as if they had been struck by lightning.

  They couldn’t see or hear any falsehood in Eina’s words or demeanor. They drifted listlessly on the spot for a moment before their heads and shoulders sank. Then they took a few weak steps in different directions.

  “…”

  “…”

  The dwarf and the elf left the quaint street. A chilly breeze swept past Bell and Eina.

  The two of them were equally embarrassed, faces the same shade of red.

  A few awkward heartbeats passed before Bell, tears beginning to leak out of his eyes, turned to Eina as if trying to make some sort of appeal.

  However, Eina squared her shoulders in his direction, clapped her hands together, squeezed her eyes as tight as she could, and gave a deep bow.

  “I’m so sorry…!”

  She wrung a shameless apology out of her light-pink lips.

  A bright blue sky in the morning hours.

  Warm sunlight made its way through the glass windows. Guild Headquarters was busy again today.

>   Countless adventurers came and went. Many, as always, formed lines in front of the reception desk.

  Eina, too, stood on the other side of the desk and took on the air of a perfect Guild receptionist, as she usually did.

  It’s going to be awkward if Bell comes in today…

  The mere thought of what had happened last night made her face so hot she was sure her cheeks would catch fire.

  She’d lost herself in the moment, even though she’d let her emotions get the better of her, even though she’d practically forgotten which way was up…

  She regretted, more than anything before in her life, the fact that she’d pulled him into the center of her mess.

  She was supposed to be the older one…Her heart sighed for what felt like the hundredth time that day.

  ““Ah…””

  Bell appeared at the front of her line.

  “…”

  “…”

  They exchanged silent stares.

  Other adventurers watched from behind, frustrated by the time lost. The two started blushing before averting their eyes.

  So embarrassing…What can I do? Eina’s brain desperately searched for the right words to break the awkward stillness.

  But it was Bell who broke the ice first, forcing a smile and shyly saying:

  “Um, I need a little advice. Could you help me?”

  It was a question just like any other day. Eina’s eyes went wide.

  Then, very slowly, a smile appeared on her lips.

  “Of course…I’d be glad to.”

  The two made eye contact and came back to themselves in that moment.

  Adviser and adventurer. Or perhaps older sister and younger brother.

  They went to the consultation box to discuss the problem and sat on opposite sides of the desk. This is good—this is enough, she repeated to herself.

  Eina was satisfied.

  Their relationship was fine just like this.

  “Sorry…Thank you, Bell.”

  “…”

  “Saying that you loved me one more time…It made me happy.”

  “……”

  Her voice was quiet, barely a whisper. Bell pretended not to hear even as he blushed and examined his lap.

  Eina giggled to herself with a contented grin on her face.

  CHAPTER 5