Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon?, Vol. 8

by Fujino Omori

  Wait a second, I know this street…

  I’ve seen this narrow alleyway before. Even so, I follow her farther in.

  A few more turns down other paths and my suspicions are confirmed.

  “Daedalus Street…?”

  The whole place spreads out in front of me after I come out of the last alleyway, and my eyes widen.

  Daedalus Street. Built by an architect said to have gone insane and remodeled the neighborhood many times over, it’s a residential area with absolutely no sense of order or direction. With its stone buildings and stairwells and winding roads going up and down with no rhyme or reason, it’s easy to understand why this place has been called Orario’s “second Dungeon.”

  I stop to catch my breath and watch as Syr casually makes her way through the entrance.

  I’ve already come this far…can’t exactly turn back now.

  Memories of bad experiences in this place hold me back for a moment, but my mind is already made up.

  Passing through the gates to Daedalus Street myself, I double-check to make sure I can feel the Divine Knife snugly tucked into my belt.

  For starters, this place is a slum where the poorest citizens in Orario live, and a lot has happened to me here, so having a weapon ready is reassuring. Keeping my guard up, I make my way into the maze of blackened brick and stone.

  What would Syr be doing in here…?

  I climb to the top of some stairs, only to have my path blocked by a room jutting out of a stone house. I turn around, looking for the way forward, only to see a dark, narrow street where the sun can’t reach. The only light is coming from a worn-out magic-stone lamp. There are people here, but I don’t think they’ve had a bath in a while; they’re doing laundry next to the well or enjoying a game of chess by the side of the road. I make my way past and onto even more complicated roads.

  I can still see Syr, but the way she moves through here without any hesitation is bringing up more questions than answers. Down-on-their-luck and less-than-respectable adventurers are known to hide in this slum; this area’s crime rate was the highest in Orario. A girl without the Blessing of a deity shouldn’t be walking around alone in here. That’s just asking for trouble…

  But such concerns seem to be nothing to her because she’s carrying that basket and moving forward without a care in the world.

  I got completely lost in here during Monsterphilia and during my escape from the Pleasure Quarter. Honestly, I doubt I can get out of here by myself. There are red arrows—called ariadne—on street corners that should lead the way, and I try my best to memorize them. Unfortunately, I lose sight of Syr in those precious moments and take off at a sprint in the last direction I saw her in a desperate attempt to catch up.

  Up and down, left and right, and forward through so many streets.

  Flashes of Syr’s white dress guide me to the front of a building.

  —A church?

  Indeed, this building hidden at the heart of the city’s labyrinth reminds me a lot of the place Lady Hestia and I used to call home.

  It’s built out of wood, and it’s really big. There’s an open courtyard in front of it with a broken fountain that doesn’t spray water anymore. The buildings around the church encompass it on the remaining sides. I cautiously stick my head around the corner of the side street that led me here and see Syr open the church’s front door with a loud creak. She disappears inside.

  “…”

  There’s a church in this place, too…? Many questions fill my mind as I look up at the old structure.

  There are several broken glass windows at the top of the outside walls. Moments pass as I stare at them, trying to decide whether or not to go forward. I have to see this through. I go to the front door and place my palms on the door handle.

  “Anyone here…?” I say softly as I pull the old wooden door aside and go in.

  “This place is massive!”

  Sure, it looks big from the front, but the real surprise is how deep it goes.

  The main chamber has got to be at least ten meders across, and the walls to my left and right are lined with doors that lead to other rooms. There’s an altar all the way at the back. The tile under my feet has so many cracks that wild grass is threatening to reclaim the floor. The ceiling is high, too. The architect Daedalus himself would be right at home.

  Several long wooden pews are stacked on top of one another nearby.

  “That seems like…”

  A fort that kids would make.

  The back-and-forth pattern of the pile of pews makes it look like a small castle. I think to myself, as I pass it and search for clues as to where Syr went, that…I’m not alone.

  Adventurers who’ve spent any time in the Dungeon have sharpened this sense to the point where we can pick it up very quickly. My body reacts to the feeling of being watched before any noises reach my ears. I look in that direction, ready.

  I’m almost to the altar when I feel it coming from my right. Sure enough, a small face is poking out from behind one of the doors.

  “…Who are you?”

  I see a child, a blond elf with a vacant expression.

  “I…um, I’m not a bad guy or anything. I-I’m just looking for someone…”

  “Someone…?”

  I kind of broke in here, didn’t I? Flustered, I try to explain myself to the child. The elf stares at me and emerges from behind the door.

  Dirty-blond hair and plump pointed ears.

  Maybe not an elf; half-elf?

  The kid keeps his eyes on me as he walks closer without any concern whatsoever.

  A little boy…or maybe a girl? I seriously can’t tell, but the kid comes right up to me.

  I have no idea how to react to his continuous stare. But maybe he knows something about Syr. I decide to ask him and open my mouth, but before any sound can come out…

  “Yo, Ruu, Big Sis Syr’s going to have a fit if she sees—You. Who are you?”

  “What’s going on, Lai?”

  The voices of two more kids cut through the air.

  I look up and see them burst from the door and grab hold of the half-elf child, shield him from me. One is a human boy with brown hair, the other is a chienthrope girl with her tail tucked against her body.

  Both are glaring at me like I’m some monster fresh out of the Dungeon, but they also have an extremely nervous light in their eyes. This isn’t good. I have to convince them that I’m not a threat, explain my situation, and fast.

  “Sorry! I didn’t mean to startle you and I’m not going to do anything! I’m just here looking for…Wait a second, didn’t you say ‘Syr’ just now?”

  “…What if I did?”

  “That’s who I’m looking for! Do you know where she is?”

  The boy and girl glance at each other, apparently startled, the moment I bring up her name.

  They don’t move, but the half-elf they’re protecting pushes them away, swatting at their hands.

  “Lai, Fina…This one is…not bad.”

  We’ve never met before, but he sounds so sure of himself.

  The human and the animal girl let their shoulders relax after hearing that, but they’re still very much on alert.

  “…So, do you know Big Sis Syr?”

  “Ah, yes. I’m really sorry for scaring you. Can I ask who you are? And about this church, too…”

  I bend down to their height, a little bit shorter than the goddess. I’d say they’re about as tall as Lilly.

  That’s also when I catch a glimpse of several more little faces poking out the door behind them. They aren’t saying anything, only watching.

  The chienthrope girl is closest to me when I ask my question, but it’s the half-elf child who answers instead.

  “Lai, Fina, and me, Ruu…We live here, in Mother Maria’s house.”

  The child points to everyone in turn and then talks about the church.

  Mother Maria…I wonder what he means by “house.”

  Well, that didn’t tell
me very much.

  “Okay, um…What were you doing?”

  “…Running away from Big Sis’s lunch box.”

  The little girl, Fina, answers this time, but I can tell she’s still on edge. “Huh?” I respond, not sure how to process what she said.

  I take a moment to think it over—when the boy, who’d been watching me with suspicious eyes this whole time, suddenly flinches. His arm flings forward, finger pointed directly at my face.

  “White hair and red eyes—you’re Bell Cranell, second-tier adventurer!”

  “Little Rookie?!”

  “From the War Game?!”

  The door bursts open the moment Lai yells, children toppling over one another as they rush out into the main chamber.

  My eyes go wide as the wave of children consumes me.

  “Holy cow, it’s really him!”

  “He’s no hume bunny, but he looks just like a rabbit!”

  “Can I see your knife?”

  The initial hit knocks me off balance. That would’ve been fine, but more and more kids jump onto my legs, some of the larger ones trying to tackle me. “Ouph!” Was that a headbutt just now?! Their high-pitched screams and laughter fill my ears as I try desperately to keep my feet.

  It’s a tidal wave of youthful humanity, with the boy named Lai at the helm. Even the chienthrope girl has gotten excited and joined the ring forming around me. The half-elf, looking aloof as ever, is outside the ring, quietly watching us.

  Completely surrounded with many sets of hands on me from all angles, I grab hold of my knife to protect it. But what can I do? I can’t just throw them off me by force, and at this rate—.

  “Wait, waWAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

  I fall flat on my back in the middle of the floor.

  “Wh-what’s going on out here?!”

  “Children!”

  My pitiful scream and all the children’s laughter draw two women out of the room directly behind the altar.

  One is an elderly human, and the other is…Syr.

  She looks down at me in surprise. Must be quite a sight, me cradling the Divine Knife in both hands while underneath a pile of excited children.

  All I can do is laugh dryly as I look back up at her, while trying my best to ignore all the small hands pulling at my hair and cheeks.

  “So then, you followed me out here?”

  “Y-yeah…I’m really sorry.”

  We’re in the cafeteria at the back of the church.

  I’m sitting in a chair next to a large round table, getting scolded by Syr and apologizing to the best of my ability.

  After I was unearthed from a mountain of kids, everyone came inside the cafeteria.

  Sure, the walls and pillars are showing their age. There are cracks all over the place. But the use of magic-stone lamps and half-melted candlesticks is proof that there are people living here. There are at least twenty children around Syr and me, watching and listening to us with great interest.

  “Um, so, this church is…?”

  “Exactly as you’re thinking, Mr. Cranell. This is an orphanage.”

  The elderly woman is facing us…I’ve only just been introduced to Mother Maria, but she’s smiling at me like an old friend. The half-elf from before, Ruu, and another child are standing at her sides with a tight grip on her arms.

  She told me that she’s been living with all the children here inside this old abandoned church for quite a while now. This isn’t part of some organized program, but the elderly woman explained that they’re living happily here. Poor, but finding a way to make it day to day. What’s more, she said everything with a smile.

  She has long black hair, but it’s tied up on top of her head. She’s on the thin side, so her facial features are a little more pronounced. Even so, she has a calming air about her. All the children here call her “Mother,” and after being on the receiving end of her kind gaze, I understand why.

  She must love kids.

  “But…if this is an orphanage, that means…”

  “Bell, this kind of place isn’t all that uncommon on Daedalus Street.”

  I started a question, unsure about how to ask. Syr speaks up from the chair next to me and offers an explanation.

  She says it’s impossible to know how many children have been born among the adventurers residing in Orario, but there are a lot of them. And it’s not a guarantee that they have parents who have sworn to spend their lives together and work toward a common future. In fact, many babies are the product of single nights of passion or the result of working in the Pleasure Quarter…Anyway, there are many reasons a woman might have to give up her child.

  After all, this is Orario. Many adventurers lose their lives in the Dungeon, leaving widows and children behind.

  The ones unlucky enough not to be allowed into a deceased adventurer’s former familia, as well as the parents who can’t handle the responsibility, often resort to abandoning their offspring in this slum, Daedalus Street.

  “At first, it was out of pity. I just couldn’t bring myself to ignore a child who’d been abandoned by their parents…so I claimed this abandoned church as my own and decided to help these children in my own way.”

  Maria explains this sad truth all while patting the children on the head.

  I hear that she once was one of the women left behind by an adventurer and had never joined a familia. She wasn’t fortunate enough to have a child with the man she loved but instead took in a child—abandoned during a rainstorm in the middle of the night—she had found in this slum. She couldn’t bring herself to think of the situation as someone else’s problem and raised the child as her own.

  That sequence of events repeated itself several times, and that’s how this place came to be.

  “…”

  Mother Maria’s story still in my ears, I take a look at the children seated around the table.

  Every single one of them abandoned by their parents…That’s another side of Orario I didn’t know about. I can feel the muscles in my face tightening, my heart sinking.

  “What’s that face for, Little Rookie? We’re happy here with Mother, so we don’t need your pity.”

  “S-sorry.”

  The human boy, Lai, glares at me, the many half-healed scratches on his face bending with his frown.

  “Watch your mouth!” Mother Maria scolds him, but I still apologize right away.

  He’s right…I don’t need to feel sorry for them. These children are smiling, laughing every day with a loving mother. I doubt any of them feels like life gave them the short end of the stick.

  “Can I, um, ask another question? Do you have enough money…?”

  “Yes, enough to manage. We’re lucky that several compassionate goddesses lend their assistance.”

  It’d be impossible to take care of this many kids without a healthy bank account. Mother Maria lightly smiles when I bring it up and lays my fears to rest. She also explains that other than this one, “Maria’s Orphanage,” there are even more places like this on Daedalus Street. They’re all funded by a group of familias, providing them with enough money to keep their heads above water.

  One woman would certainly have her hands full taking care of these kids, so I’m sure she’s grateful for any help she gets in keeping them fed. She still has that gentle smile on her face.

  Maybe I could talk to the goddess, see if we can help, too.

  Then again, we don’t exactly have much money to spare…

  My train of thought takes off when, out of the corner of my eye, I see Syr chuckling to herself as if she’s reading my mind.

  “Syr has been gracious enough to come by and play with the children ever since we met. She does so much to help while she’s here, I don’t know what I’d do without her.”

  “Oh, so that’s what’s been going on…”

  “Hee-hee-hee. Have you solved the case, Detective Bell?”

  “I-I guess so…” My cheeks get hot as Syr starts teasing me.

  So then, Syr come
s out here whenever she has any free time. Which means that she’s playing with these kids when she’s not working at The Benevolent Mistress.

  “Big Sis Syr brings us delicious food from her restaurant.”

  “She’s been here every day recently…”

  The chienthrope girl, Fina, chimes in with a smile on her face, and the half-elf boy (?) Ruu tells me even more in his spacey voice.

  Judging from all the excited, happy grins, they want to play with Syr just as much as she wants to be here. That explains where she’s been for the better part of these past two weeks while playing hooky from her job at the bar and café.

  “This is a secret from everyone, including Lyu, okay?” Syr warned me once I figured out the truth.

  It sounds like she thinks they’ll be angry with her if they find out she’s been playing with kids.

  Hmm, I really don’t think there’d be a problem if she explained the situation…

  But…

  Why is she coming here in the first place?

  Going back a bit further, how did she meet Mother Maria?

  It’s going to bother me if I don’t ask about it. I turn to do just that, when suddenly…

  “Hey hey, enough about that stuff. What’s the Dungeon like?”

  Lai’s champing at the bit. He’s even halfway out of his chair.

  That gets the other kids going, too. More and more of them jump out of their seats, asking me to tell them stories about being an adventurer.

  I look around, trying to figure out if I should. “Please, go ahead.” Syr smiles at me from her chair at my side.

  While I’m a little surprised by this turn of events, I start talking. Thinking back on my time as an adventurer, I give them a few highlights, jumping around a bit.

  Of course, I leave out the battle against the strange Black Goliath because the gag order from the Guild is still in effect. But the kids seem to enjoy hearing about the beautiful quartz in the Dungeon pantry and the time the Goliath chased me on the seventeenth floor.

  Seeing that twinkle in their eyes makes me really happy, and I start giving even more details…But then I see the look on Mother Maria’s face.