Still A Dog

by Mark Anthony

  “Over seven figures?”

  “Definitely.”

  “Whoa,” I said.

  “Lance, you gotta look at it like this: Your accident took someone’s life and hampered someone else’s life in a major way. Then you have to look at the fact that you had a couple ready to get married and in a flash that’s taken away, so all of those variables come with a value attached to it. And you also have to look at the fact that unless these charges are knocked down under a plea deal, you’re looking at twenty-five years in prison, and there is no dollar value that you can put on your freedom.”

  My attorney wanted to get a snapshot picture of all of my assets so that he could see what I was working with and what my viability would be in terms of being able to compensate the victim’s families.

  Like most people, a lot of my net worth was tied up in my house. My house was valued at 1.2 million and there was about four hundred and fifty thousand in equity in the house. I had a little over one hundred thousand in liquid cash, and I still had two luxury cars that I owned that together were worth over a hundred thousand. And then of course I had the books that I had written and the royalties that those books brought on a yearly basis.

  “I can tell you that I’ll go as hard for you as I can and try to get them to take a half a million dollars, but they are gonna counter that by asking for a minimum of one million dollars.”

  “But I don’t have that. So does this mean that I have to sell my house and all the shit that I own?”

  “Well, not necessarily, but your lifestyle may change, make no mistake about that. You’ll likely have to take out another mortgage on the property in order to pull out the equity, and your cars are gonna have to go.”

  “But that still doesn’t get me to the million dollar figure.”

  “I understand that, and that is where we have a little leverage to keep you out of prison.”

  “You’re losing me,” I said to my lawyer.

  “If we ultimately settle on one million dollars, you’ll pay half of that in cash and the other half you’ll pay over the course of five years. But what we’ll argue is that you need to be out of prison to facilitate earning the money to pay off the settlement amount. Meaning if you’re locked up, you can’t properly promote your books, you’ll likely never get another publishing contract, and therefore to send you to prison would punish you, but it wouldn’t be an all-encompassing punishment that also adequately served the needs of the victims.”

  I paused for a moment and didn’t say anything. All I could think about was how one decision, one bad decision on my part, was in an instant going to reverse a ton of hard work on my part.

  “Lance, twenty-five years in prison is the alternative.”

  I looked at him and I knew that I wasn’t built for prison. As I sat there, I remember the news stories right after the accident. I remember seeing the pain, hurt and anger that the family members of the victims had expressed at a few of the news conferences. In my heart, I knew that no amount of money would be just punishment for me, so if that was the only hardship that I would have to endure, then so be it. I would endure it and I would endure it, gracefully and humbly.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Nicole had admirably gone above and beyond her call of duty as a wife. While she had exhausted every ounce of energy and hope that she had in trying to preserve our marriage, at the end of the day she was a human being and all human beings are limited. For Nicole, in spite of the marriage counseling that we had been going to, she ultimately had enough and decided that she was going to go through with the divorce once we had been separated for one year, which was the legal procedure in New York.

  I understood Nicole’s decision, and I wasn’t bitter about it. I was very disappointed, but after all that I had put Nicole through throughout the years, there was no way I could have any kind of resentment toward her. All I had was love and admiration for her.

  I can’t say that I blamed her, especially after I delivered the news to her that everything that she and I had built together in terms of our home and our savings were about to be wiped out due to the settlement agreement that I had come to with my victims and their families.

  The last Wednesday in June was the last day of school for my son LL. And unfortunately I couldn’t be there to pick him up because I was at a press conference at the district attorney’s office. Not being there for LL ate at me and I knew that I had to really start making time to rebound with LL or risk him starting to see me in a less admirable light.

  At the press conference, the DA was basically informing the media about the terms of the settlement as well as the plea deal that had been reached, and it was at that press conference that I, for the first time, had got a chance to publicly address and apologize to the families. It was funny that I was a full-time writer, so usually I was good with words, but in this case I had no idea what I was going to say. I had stayed up all night long trying to come up with the right words to say, but I continually drew blanks. Yeah, I didn’t know what I was going to say but I knew that I would speak from the heart. I blew air from my lungs as I approached the podium to speak.

  “I promise to be brief, simply because there are no words in the human language that can truly express what it is that I would like to say to the family and friends of Olivia Rodriguez and also to Ryan Anderson and his family and friends as well. But let me start by saying from the bottom of my heart, I apologize and I am deeply sorry for the pain and destruction that I know I have caused anyone and everyone involved in this ordeal. Particularly, I want to apologize to the Rodriguez family and to Ryan Anderson.” I paused and had to compose myself because I was seconds from getting choked up. Then I continued on.

  “On a cold and snowy night in January, after a night of partying, I admittedly behaved out of control like a child: Not like an adult, or like a husband, or like a father. I didn’t even behave like a man. I was a coward on that night. And like a coward I got behind the wheel of an automobile while being under the influence alcohol, which impaired my ability to drive and which ultimately lead me to driving my car in the wrong direction on Flatbush Avenue, where I struck and killed Olivia and badly injured Ryan, as well as injured a young lady who was riding in my car, and for that I am beyond sorry. But my vow and pledge is to make amends to both families to the best of my ability and I will work as hard as I can to educate people on the ill effects of drinking and driving. This ordeal is not about me, it’s about the victims and therefore I will end my statement by once again expressing my deepest sorrows.”

  I stepped away from the podium and I immediately walked over to Ryan Anderson and I stuck out my hand. My heart pounded and truthfully I expected him to stand up and punch me in the face because that was what I deserved. But Ryan was graceful. He stood up and he extended his hand to mine. I gripped his hand and while I gave him a ghetto hug and embraced him, I spoke into his ear while all of the photographers in the room flashed cameras nonstop.

  Only Ryan could hear what I was saying. “Ryan, I’m sorry, man. I took something from you that can never be replaced. You did all the right things and you didn’t deserve this. I want you to know that you’ll always be more of a man that I ever will be. And this is a burden that I will carry for the rest of my life.”

  I stepped away from Ryan and he sort of had a twisted look on his face. He looked at me and nodded his head but didn’t say anything.

  I totally understood Ryan’s reaction toward me because I was sure that he wanted to knock the shit out of me.

  I then took my place next to my attorney and waited for the press conference to conclude. Once it was over the media swarmed me and they asked me what I had said to Ryan.

  “I just apologized to him and told him that he was more of a man that I was.”

  “Mr. Thomas, I noticed that your wife isn’t here. Is it true that you two are going through a divorce?” another reporter asked.

  “I’d rather not comment on that, but I will say that my wife is also a vi
ctim in this whole ordeal.”

  “Is there anything else you’d like to say to the victims?”

  “Well, this isn’t about me, like I already said, so with all due respect I would just like to have the attention squarely where it should be and that is on the nature of what I did. Drinking and driving is wrong and I’m going to work to prevent accidents, such as the one I caused, from happening. That’s really all I have for you guys, so if you don’t mind I’m gonna be on my way.”

  I had already signed the settlement agreement earlier that morning before the start of the press conference. Where we ended up was I would pay a total of 1.3 million dollars, with 1.1 million going to Ryan Anderson and the other two hundred thousand going to a charity that Olivia’s family would choose. I had thirty days to come up with a half-million dollars and then on each August First, starting in the following year, I would have to make a payment of two-hundred-thousand-dollars for the next four years. And as a form of security, I had to sign off and okay that fifty percent of all of my future advances and royalties would be paid directly to the attorney that was representing the victims. He would place the money into an escrow account in order to ensure the victims would get their money.

  “Lance, hey?” Meagan said as she walked up to me and gave me a hug.

  “Hey, baby, I didn’t even see you. You were here the whole time?”

  “Yeah, I was.”

  “So, I guess now is as good a time as any for us to do that interview that I had been promising you.”

  “No. We got time for that. I’m not stressing it. How are you? I haven’t heard from you.”

  “I’m good, now that this is over.”

  “Yeah, I figured you had a lot on your mind and so I was just trying to give you your space.”

  “I appreciate that. So what’s up witchu? You still looking sexy as ever.”

  “I just been working, nothing major, same old thing.”

  “But I do wanna hang out with you whenever you get some time.”

  I looked at her and chuckled a little bit.

  “What’s so funny?”

  I told her to come closer so I could whisper something in her ear.

  “Remember when you said that your pussy was passport pussy?”

  Meagan started laughing and she punched me.

  “You know I was under the influence when I said that!”

  “I don’t know about that, but anyway, what I’m getting at is next week my son’s AAU team is gonna be playing for the national championship down in Orlando and I would love for you to go with me. All expenses on me!”

  “What day?” Meagan asked without hesitation.

  “Well, we would leave on the fifth and we’ll be back on the eighth,” I said. I knew I was pretty pathetic but I just couldn’t help myself. I also knew that with the 1.3 million dollar settlement I was gonna be beyond broke and that I needed to be preserving as much cash as I could instead of making plans to trick it on Meagan.

  She thought for a while and then she looked at the calendar on her phone.

  “Yeah, I can do that, I gotta switch some things around, but that sounds like fun. You sure that would be okay, though?”

  Actually, I knew that it probably wouldn’t be smart for LL to see me with another woman like that, but it was all good because I knew I would figure something out by the time July came around.

  “I wouldn’t have asked you if I didn’t think so,” I responded.

  “Oh, okay. I’m so excited now!”

  “Meagan, you’re funny.”

  Meagan said that she loved going away. It didn’t matter where she was going, just the thought of traveling turned her on.

  “It’s like the days leading up to the trip is the biggest and best form of foreplay for me,” she joked.

  “Okay, that’s what I’m talking about. So we gonna get it on and poppin’ then.”

  I was able to say that with some renewed confidence, because against my doctor’s wishes I had persuaded him to write me a prescription for Viagra, and therefore, I knew that I wasn’t gonna have another repeat failed performance with Meagan.

  It was really gonna be on and poppin’ and I was definitely planning on handling my business the right way this time with Meagan.

  Chapter Sixteen

  I had a consistent pattern in my life of being blessed by God one minute and then being set up by the devil the next minute. So, since it was a pattern that I had been through before, I should have seen the setup coming.

  On July Fourth, just about a week after my case had settled with the victims, my agent, whose nick-name is Tony Bony, called me and told me that he had a verbal commitment from the publishing company for my new book deal. He was able to negotiate a two-book publishing contract for six-hundred-thousand dollars.

  Six hundred thousand dollars was a lot of money. It was a hundred thousand more than I had gotten for my first contract. And although my agent was gonna get fifteen percent of that, and then the victims of my accident would get fifty percent of it, I was still cool with it because to me it was still a blessing and at least I knew that I would be able to eat a little something.

  Tony Bony was a cool-ass white man who was based out of Hollywood but he was always back and forth between New York and L.A. So with his urging, I had decided to hang out with him and two of his other clients so that we could celebrate my new deal.

  Since my driver’s license had been revoked Tony told me that he would have a car come pick me up and drop me off after we left the club. He was a cool agent and we got along very well. He always made me laugh because whenever I signed a new deal Tony would only spend a couple hundred dollars on me but in his mind you couldn’t tell him that he hadn’t balled out of control and spent a few thousand dollars.

  We had decided to go to the China Club near Times Square and when I got there Tony was waiting near the front entrance.

  “Macaroni Tony! What’s the deal?” I asked as I gave him a pound.

  “Tony, this is Steve, my partner in crime. Steve, this is the super agent Tony Bony, aka Macaroni Tony.”

  Steve and Tony both laughed as they gave each other a pound. After a few minutes of small talk, we went inside and waited near the bar for Tony’s other clients to get to the club.

  Tony bought the first round of drinks and he told us that he had us for the entire night.

  “Whatever y’all want it’s on me tonight,” Tony boasted.

  In my head I laughed because I knew that Tony was about to earn ninety-thousand-dollars off of my black ass so in actuality the night was really on me.

  “I got that candy if you want some,” Tony hollered into my ear over the music.

  “Nah, I ain’t fucking with that shit. It already got my ass in enough trouble.”

  “I got a car for you! You don’t gotta worry about that old shit. You party with me, you party right and you party safe. Come on, Lance,” Tony urged.

  “Nah, I’m good,” I said and I was proud of myself for standing up and being man enough to say I wasn’t fucking with no cocaine.

  Just as Tony started to tell me about these white chicks and these Asian chicks that he had coming through to meet up with him, I turned and looked and I see Steve hugging on some chick and immediately I knew that it was Felicia, who was Mashonda’s cousin.

  “What the fuck?” I said out loud but not loud enough for Steve to hear me.

  “Yo, Lance,” Steve hollered out to get my attention.

  “You remember her?”

  “Hey, Lance,” Felicia said to me while trying to give me a hug. But I blocked her from giving me a hug and I walked off to the side and motioned for Steve to come talk to me for a second.

  “What the fuck is she doing here? And I know Mashonda isn’t with her.”

  “I told her to come through. You know I’m fucking that.”

  “Nah, I didn’t know you was fucking her, but why would you be fucking her and why the hell would you tell her to come to the club if you know about
my issues with Mashonda?”

  “Man, fuck all that bullshit!”

  “Bullshit? That bitch cost me fifty gees!”

  “Lance, just chill, nigga.”

  I walked off and I was vexed like a motherfucker. That was a bitch-ass move that Steve had pulled because as far as I was concerned, I was the type of person where I just believed if I wasn’t cool with somebody it meant that I also wasn’t cool with that person’s crew of friends as well. And so that meant by default that any of my close friends should fall in line and also not be cool with somebody just to show their loyalty tome.

  “Lance!” Steve said as he caught up to me.

  “Steve, listen, I’m gonna just chill with Tony and you do your thing. Just do you.”

  “Yo, Mashonda’s moms is coming through too, you—”

  “What the fuck? So this is just gonna be one big family reunion?”

  “Lance, just hear me out. Mashonda got over on you, but so the fuck what? Her moms is on your dick too. So, just fuck the moms and that’s how you can get back at Mashonda.”

  “What are you talking about?” I asked Steve.

  “Felicia told me that Joy wants to fuck you. And if I was you, I’d definitely hit that.”

  I paused for a moment and finished my drink before responding. I was really getting tired of the drama and the bullshit. I mean, I was who I was and I did my thing but I didn’t need more bullshit in my life.

  “Steve, I don’t trust them bitches. You can fuck with them if you want to but they ain’t getting my ass twice.”

  Just as I said that, Mashonda’s mother walks up to me and Steve and she said what’s up to Steve and she gave a kiss on the cheek.

  “I wanna talk to you,” Joy said to me and she took me by the hand and pulled me to the side.

  I had to admit that Joy was looking good as hell. She was wearing some white booty shorts, white high heels, and a white top that showed off her cleavage.

  “I just wanted to tell you that shit Mashonda pulled—that shit wasn’t right. I tried to talk to her but—”