Trapped (Grizzly MC Book 1)

by Brook Wilder

  This is the first time that I’ve just done something that’s made me happy, and it was cooking in a kitchen I’ve barely used since Sarah’s death.

  I don’t even feel bad about it, but perhaps I should. I like the feeling of feeling good, just as I liked the feeling I had when I spent the night with Lena. It’s a strange feeling, but I want to hold on to it.

  As we finish up in the kitchen, I notice that it’s getting a little late. We’ve spent hours in here, letting the time pass by. I look at Lena as she stows away cooking devices that she’s washed, and I smile.

  “Hey. You wanna call it a night and watch a movie? We’ve done all this cooking, I can order up a pizza and call it that?”

  “Oh, yes. Pizza sounds great.”

  I laugh.

  “And here I thought you weren’t big on take-out.”

  “I’m not, but pizza is the exception,” she rations out. “You order pizza; I’m going to dig through your movies.”

  She flits off, and I order us two extra-large supreme pizzas and toss in some chicken wings and a two liter of soda. Go big or go home, as they say. When that’s done, I head into the living room, where Lena has pillows on the floor, a throw, and she’s popping in a VHS.

  “I would have expected you to get a DVD,” I say.

  I kick off my boots and plop on the floor.

  “You have Steel Magnolias,” she says. “We’re totally watching that. I love it.”

  That surprises me. Steel Magnolias was one of Sarah’s favorite movies.

  “I didn’t think you’d like a movie like that.”

  “Why’s that?”

  She sits beside me and looks at me, head tilted. I shrug.

  “Because,” I say. “It seems like… I dunno. You seem like you got the kind of chip on your shoulder that wouldn’t have you watching Steel Magnolias,” I reason.

  Her brow raises and she scoffs.

  “People call it one of those weepy chick-flicks,” she says. “But it’s really not. It’s realistic. It’s raw and… This is how people’s lives actually go. Things aren’t always sunshine and roses, and I like that it’s not like other movies that ignore everything raw about life by trying to dress it up in bows. It’s truthful. I like the truth.”

  That’s not a take on the movie that I would have expected, but it fits Lena. I smile.

  “I like that,” I say. “I like the truth, too.”

  I settle back on the pillows that she’s arranged and, after a moment of thought, pat the one close beside me. Lena looks at me, surprised at the gesture, but she scoots back and cuddles beside me. The warmth of her makes me stiffen just a second before I let myself just enjoy it. This is okay. It’s just a moment, and I’m allowed to have moments like this.

  The movie’s previews roll and then the opening credits. I haven’t watched this movie in forever. Call me a sap, but I used to love watching it with Sarah, if only to hold her close. It’s not ‘manly,’ or whatever, but I don’t think it really matters.

  It’s about the moment.

  My attention gets taken away from the movie and I glance at Lena every now and then. Her attention doesn’t leave the screen; her attention is wholly focused. I smile as I see that she mouths the actresses’ lines; she knows this movie by heart. There’s something endearing in that and I settle back.

  Lena ends up falling asleep against me after dinner, with about thirty minutes of the movie to go. I let her sleep. Her breath is soft, coming out in puffs against my chest where her head’s snuggled up against me. I contemplate finishing out the movie or turning it off and letting her sleep. I go to move, but she clings to me in her sleep and I decide to turn the movie off and lay back against the pillows with Lena.

  Her hair is soft against my arm, like silk. I brush my fingers through it and watch the calm that’s on her face. She’s so peaceful now. I brush my finger over her thumb.

  Slowly, her eyes flutter open. She gazes up at me sleepily, blinking slowly. Her mouth quirks up in a smile and she leans up.

  I don’t stop her. In fact, I lean down. I’m drawn to her, magnetic, and our lips brush against each other in a moment of vulnerability that has me pressing against her a little more firmly. She tastes like salt and pizza, and I wrap my arms around her tight. She’s warm and my body is responsive to that warmth. I want more of her. I want…

  I pull away. I stop myself.

  “We should get you to bed,” I tell her.

  I expect her to protest, like she did the night we had sex. Instead, with her face flushed, she nods at me.

  “Yeah. It’s—it’s late.”

  I help her up from the floor, take her hand and lead her up the stairs. We’re slow and quiet, with a buzzing tension laying under the surface. I know that, if she let me, I would follow her into her room when she goes in there, I would kiss her again and lay her on her back…

  But I don’t.

  I watch as she stands there in the doorframe, looking up at me, and I tuck a lock of her hair out of her face.

  “Good night, Lena.”

  ***

  “So, Santiago is a blabbermouth, but harmless. Feldman will hit on you—but he’s also harmless.”

  “Basically, what you’re saying is ‘It’s typical male behavior, but it’s harmless typical male behavior.’”

  I laugh. “Yeah, basically.”

  I look over to Lena. She’s got a smile on that could light up a crypt and it makes me smile too. I like the way she smiles. Lena came from something so terrible as the Vipers; yet, when she’s not caught up in the terrible of the world, there’s light on her face.

  We drive to the barbeque, music on and laughter high between the two of us. I leave the troubles of the last few days behind us as I pull into the cul-de-sac Santiago lives in. There’s already a good crowd of people there and he’s got three huge grills smoking. I see him and his brother, Jeramiah, manning two of them.

  I look to Lena again.

  “Ready?” I want to make sure she’s going to be okay with all of this.

  She nods. “Yeah. Let’s go.”

  Bikes and trucks line the cul-de-sac; children run around. The men wear biker vests and the women are dressed down with lots of skin showing—per usual. Despite this, it’s a light and lively crowd. I pull in behind one of the many cars that are parked. Getting out first, I walk around to help Lena out of my truck. It’s much taller than her, and I take her hand as she steps down. It’s warm and I have a hard time letting her go, but I remind myself that we’ve got goods to deliver.

  I open up the back of the truck, and one by one Lena and I load our arms with the food she prepared the night before. I take most, leaving Lena with just the dish of burger meat. I smile down at her.

  “Follow me.”

  I say ‘hi’ to everyone in passing, and in turn I get about ten times the greetings back. Santiago was right; it’s been a long time since I’ve been to one of these things, and it’s obvious to everyone else that I’ve been absent for a while too. With all the familiar faces around, I have to admit to myself that I’ve missed this. I haven’t been to one since…

  “Aye, James! My man!” Santiago’s voice carries over the greetings, and I stop just as I’m about to enter the house so Lena and I can set down the food. Looking over my shoulder, Santiago approaches with a huge grin and his brother behind him.

  “Hey. Told you I’d come.”

  “I was beginning to wonder! And Lena, too! Nice!” Santiago wraps her in a tight hug around the food in her arms, and steps back to let his brother step forward. Jeramiah looks a lot like Santiago; only difference really is the neat corn rows braided against his scalp. Jeramiah is quieter and he smiles at Lena, tilting his head at her respectfully.

  “Nice to meet you. Santiago hasn’t shut up about meeting you and I was beginning to wonder if you were a fever dream.”

  “Hey man! Don’t be like that.” He nudges Jeramiah. “Go on and set that stuff down. Y’all can cook that shit up once the grills a
re free.”

  “Which won’t be for a while, probably.”

  “Probably.” Santiago snorts. “But, you know how all that shit goes. Go on. More people inside happy to see you finally show your ugly mug.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  Lena

  I didn’t know what to expect when we came here—but it wasn’t this.

  Viper get-togethers, there’s lots of drinking, lots of drugs, and lots—lots—of sex. It’s not really a family event so much as it is a way for the guys to get out of the Snake Pit and have a different place to do their dirty work.

  Seeing the Grizzlies and their families running around, music playing and dancing going on, it’s easy to see why Santiago wanted James to come out here. I can see on his face it’s good for him. Surrounded by his people and children running around his feet, he doesn’t look so troubled and closed off. He even allows a couple of the women that come up to him and kiss his cheek to do so without the usual disdain he holds when he gets too much affection from the opposite sex.

  I watch him from the porch. I can’t drink and I can’t smoke, so I nurse a plain bubbling drink of soda. James mans the grill, flipping burgers. I’m actually pretty surprised that he volunteered to do so, since he’s not much of a cook per se, but I think he might have wanted to show off—just a little.

  I smile at the thought. I’m so used to men showing off in other ways. Beating up on others. Talking down to women to make themselves feel more powerful. James is…

  “Hey there, chickee. Come on down with the rest of us women and socialize. We’re dying to know who James brought with him.”

  I look down. There’s a woman with the blondest platinum hair I’ve ever seen staring up at me. She’s got these clear blue eyes and a smile that could calm the rowdiest of children. There’s a tattoo of a butterfly between her ample breasts, and her hand is on her hip.

  “Oh sorry. I…”

  “It’s alright. I don’t bite. Name’s Melody.”

  I glance back to James at the grill. He’s talking to Santiago and the two look like they’re having fun. I smile.

  “Okay.”

  I come down the porch and follow Melody. She immediately hooks her arm in mine and brings me to a small group of women sitting in lawn chairs. A few have beers, others have sodas. They all look up at me with welcoming eyes.

  “Oh, this is the pretty little thing James brought with him? The one everyone’s been gossiping about?” a brunette asks me. I flush.

  “Oh, yeah. That’s me,” I say. Seems, regardless of the MC, news travels quickly.

  The brunette laughs. “Don’t look so embarrassed, girl. You’re here with James, you’re welcome all the same. We’re just happy to see him out and about again.”

  “Glad to watch him out and about, too,” a red-head speaks up. I follow her trail of sight right over to James; I’m pretty certain she’s got her eyes on his ass, not that I can really blame her for that. I’d stare at it all day, too.

  I clear my throat, and Melody puts her arm on me.

  “Where are y’all’s manners? This one is Jemma,” she says, pointing to the brunette. “And that one’s Kelly.” She points to the red-head. “And both of them have men, so don’t worry about their wandering eyes.”

  I swear, my flush deepens and I can feel my face burn up.

  “We’re not like that. It’s fine.” Yet my mind flits to last night. The cooking. The movie. Waking-up pressed into his side and the tender way that he handled me…

  “Yeah, well, whatever you are, gotta thank you for whatever it is ya done that’s put a smile on that man’s face again.”

  I avert my gaze, turning back to James. He’s plating a bunch of fresh burgers and. as he turns, his eyes catch mine. My heart flutters… and I’m captivated in the way he looks at me. I don’t know what’s changed in the last day or so, but I feel more open to this… whatever this is that’s sparked between me and James.

  He grins at me and I bite my lip, trying to hide the responding smile. It doesn’t work, and Melody nudges me.

  “Mmm. Nothing going on between the two of you.” She chuckles. “Come, sit down.”

  There’s an extra chair with the three of them, and I take it. I’m not showing yet and I won’t be for a while, but it feels damn good to be off my feet regardless. I sip more from my soda and I settle in.

  “Well, now that introductions are out of the way,” Jemma speaks up. “It really is good to finally get to meet you, Lena. It’s so easy to hear a bunch of rumors and hearsay, but it’s nice to see that you’re every bit of a sweet treat as everyone says you are and not some bitter tart.”

  “Mmm. When I heard that a Viper girl was shackin’ up with James… well, I was a little skeptical. But you’re alright; it’s in the way he looks at ya. Not seen that in a long time.”

  Right… his fiancée…

  I bit my lip. Part of me knows that, in a way, their assumptions about me are right. I’m only here because I’m a Viper girl, because I was sent here. And yet…

  I look to the other women.

  “What was James like, before what happened to his fiancée?”

  “Oh, he was outgoing as all hell.”

  “Came to all the barbeques.”

  “He had this thing about being involved in every aspect of the Grizzlies. He’s pretty low-key as far as enforcing things as a leader, but he always – and I mean always – looked after everyone.”

  “He still does,” Kelly defends. “But, you know… Loss of someone so close to him and all that…”

  The women have downcast looks. I’m so curious, and the question leaves me before I can help myself.

  “What was she like? His fiancée?”

  Melody blinks at me, not having expected the question. A soft smile comes to her face.

  “Oh… she was the sweetest thing… But you’d never want to let the sweetness fool you. She was a spitfire when she needed to be. And let me tell you, she sure knew how to get James in line if he ever let being a biker and a Grizzly get to his head.”

  I laugh.

  “Is that even possible?”

  Melody snorted. “He’s a man, ain’t he? Don’t let his chivalry fool you, he’s had his moments. He’s never been a bad man, but it was when he was with Sarah that he was at his best. Woman could glare a bull into submission with just the right look in her eye. Sad thing that happened to her.”

  “She died in a car crash, didn’t she?” I ask. “It was the talk of Tomahawk for a while.”

  “Hmm. Yeah.” Melody shook her head. “Nasty thing, too. Couldn’t even have an open casket at her funeral. I heard that James demanded to see her body, even though the coroners told him it wasn’t pretty. But he couldn’t let it go. It’s a wonder he even stuck around at all after that.”

  I have nothing to say to that. I hadn’t known that information. How a person could bear to do something like that… They would have to be strong in order to see their loved one like that.

  Caught in my thoughts, I don’t realize James is walking over until something shadows over me. I look up, and James stands before me with a plate in his hand and a smile on his face.

  “The ladies aren’t talking your ear off, are they?” he asks with a chuckle. I smile in spite of the conversation we were having.

  “No. I was just getting to hear a bunch of good gossip, that’s all.”

  “Shame on you, James,” Melody says. “You didn’t even introduce her to us! I had to pluck her from standin’ all by herself; you’re rude for that, you know.”

  “Yeah, yeah, whatever.” He rolls his eyes. “Figured one of you would make your way over and be a nuisance before the day was out, and I was right, wasn’t I?”

  James plops down on the ground beside me and hands over one of the two plates in his hands. It’s piled up with burgers and fries, and a few sides.

  “Dig in,” he tells me. “Bunch of people complimented the burgers, by the way. They’re demanding to know the recipe and when
I’m gonna have them sold at the bar.”

  “You can, if you want,” I say after taking a huge bite of my own. “I wouldn’t mind.”

  “Don’t go giving away all your secrets for free!” Melody says, playfully nudging him. “Make him work for your goods—and these burgers are damn good, let me tell you.”