Strong Heart

by Charlie Sheldon

  When the sun rose, we saw clouds high in the sky, reaching like fingers. On the sea of grass, such clouds meant wind and rain would come within a day. Here I did not know what they meant, but Thin Hair and Fat Hair were in a great hurry. We carried Bright Eyes to the canoe and placed her beneath the tent.

  We left that island and headed east, toward the sun. The long shore lay to our north, rising from a narrow plain into mountains of snow and ice. Once we left the shelter of the island we came into waves. These waves were not steep with breaking tops. They did not have ruffled surfaces streaked with foam. Those are waves that rise with the wind. These waves were smooth and long, like hills. They seemed to need no wind, and they marched from the west one after another, silent and powerful. They moved faster than our canoe, coming behind and flowing beneath us. When we were at the top of these waves, we could see the land to our left. Ahead and behind, we could see nothing but other waves stretching to the horizon. Then we would drop, caught between two waves, unable to see beyond. There was little wind. Clouds in thin streams walked across the top of the sky. To the west, thicker bands of cloud rose.

  First, Cold Eye and Woman Too Soon helped paddle. They were placed against the second thwart, one on each side of the canoe. They were told to follow the person ahead, to stroke the paddle as that person did.

  Thin Hair instructed them, showing them how to tie in, how to grip. The motion was short and steady, one hand grasping the shaft of the paddle, the other on top of the shaft. Watcher laughed as Cold Eye and Woman Too Soon struggled.

  This day, we all faced our turn paddling. Weeps a Lot and Weeps a Lot More had thick bodies and short arms. When pulling the paddle, their hands struck the side of the canoe. They wept. Tree Hide and Rock Hide needed little teaching. Their people lived in the forest and fished in rivers and they knew how to paddle.

  When I took my turn, Pretty Face and Fat Hair laughed at me. They thought I would be the worst paddler because I was the smallest and very thin. I wanted to kill them. I was small, but my arms were long enough that I did not smash my hand against the side of the canoe. The paddle soon seemed heavy, and my arms began to ache and burn, but I pictured Pretty Face and Fat Hair behind me laughing and this gave me the strength and energy to continue.

  The shore to our north turned into a steep cut face with surf crashing against its base. We had nowhere to land. In places, the ice covering the mountains reached the sea, threading down slopes in thick, long, broken tongues, ending in piles of rocks, dirt, and old snow. On the slopes between the tongues of ice, I saw clusters of trees.

  When not paddling, sitting beneath the tent on the bottom of the canoe, I could see little except the sides of the canoe, the legs of the paddlers ahead of us, and what we carried. Although my arms ached, and my hands became blistered, I preferred paddling to sitting. When paddling I could see. The fresh air felt good against my face.

  At rest beneath the tent, I listened to Cold Eye’s scolding. The others spoke of their home and family and their life before. I could speak to none of that because I had no memory of home or family. My silence made Cold Eye and Woman Too Soon suspicious of me.

  My second time paddling, I paddled while the sun crossed four hand spans of the sky. Pretty Face and Fat Hair stopped laughing. I stopped paddling only when Thin Hair spoke. By then, my hands were bleeding.

  “Strong Heart,” Thin Hair said, and so I was named.

  Anger replaced me at the thwart. I handed her the paddle. The shaft was sticky with my blood. When I sat under the tent with the others, Cold Eye said nothing. The weepers stared at my hands. Bright Eyes was awake.

  “You will be paddling again, Strong Heart,” she said. “For one so small you have strength.”

  “I wish to live.”

  “You are not of our people.” Cold Eye pointed at me. “You are different. You are not from the sea of grass. We do not know where you come from. The skin boat people feared you.” The twin sisters nodded. I did not think the skin boat people had feared me. They handled me and pushed me and tied me like everyone else. Cold Eye and the others had made a story about me among themselves that they now believed. “One of us ran and was killed. Another hurt herself and was killed,” Cold Eye said. “All the skin boat people were killed. Heavy has been killed. Bright Eyes is hurt. You bring a curse, Strong Heart. Dark Heart should be your name.”

  “You have picked up our way of speech fast,” Bright Eyes said to Cold Eye. “You are smart, so listen. If you talk about a curse, you will surely bring one on yourself. Everyone has a strength, and a weakness. Your weakness is gossip. Already I know this about you. I wonder, what is your strength?”

  “But she is different,” Cold Eye repeated, pointing at me.

  “She is a person,” said Bright Eyes. “The skin boat women told us that this one, Strong Heart, was the first taken. They did not hunt her down; they found her. She was alone and her head was injured. She was found close to strong bear sign, yet she was alive.”

  “It would have been better if she had died.”

  “If Strong Heart had died, it would have been you paddling four hand spans of the sun. And then your hands would have been as hers are now.” Bright Eyes adjusted her leg.

  “How is your leg?” I asked.

  “Long Braid placed healing paste this morning. That helps. But we have many days yet, and if the flesh becomes hot I will die. ”

  Watcher steered, standing, looking ahead, then looking down at his wife. Long Braid hummed as she paddled against the last thwart. I could hear her over the canoe and water sounds.

  We continued this way for three hand spans of the sun, maybe four. Thrower, now paddling forward, sang out he could see an island ahead.

  A sudden, strong, cold wind came from the ice.

  “We must find shelter,” Fat Hair called to Thin Hair, who was now paddling forward. “These will be the ice winds and they will cast us away.”

  The cold wind reached deep into the canoe. Overhead, the sky grew dark.

  “Three spans,” Thin Hair cried. “Three more. Now is the time to set the boards.”

  Bright Eyes gestured toward several long planks in the bottom of the canoe. We placed these planks in notched openings located along the top of each side of the canoe, raising the side a hand width and a half. The raised sides kept sea spray from coming into the canoe but made paddling harder. Cold Eye began to whimper as her hand struck the hull.

  Thin Hair had us all paddle as the wind strengthened. The island ahead did not get closer. The ice wind came in sharp gusts, and each gust pushed the canoe further from shore. Watcher struggled with the steering oar. A cold wind whistled over our ears.

  “We will miss the island,” Pretty Face said.

  “You speak defeat,” said Anger. “By so speaking, so you will bring the outcome you most fear.”

  The canoe rocked and plunged. Spray blew into our faces. The sky was dark gray, the disc of the sun faint. We all paddled as hard as we could, into the wind, seeking the lee of the island. We seemed to be making no progress at all.

  Watcher pulled the steering oar inboard and began paddling with the rest of us. Now all of us were paddling. The canoe crept forward. We passed through foam and tongues of surf surging against the island. The canoe wallowed and tipped; water sloshed aboard. We almost turned over, the canoe heeling so steeply those of us on the downside could touch the water itself.

  We reached the beach. Thin Hair, Thrower, Watcher and Fat Hair leapt from the canoe and pulled us ashore. Then the rest of us, except for Bright Eyes, climbed from the canoe. Holding the sides, we walked the canoe east to a place where we could pull the canoe well onto the gravel. We pulled the canoe all the way up the beach, three canoe lengths, on rollers, to the base of a knoll, and leaned it so we were protected from a west or south wind. We took Bright Eyes and placed her on a thick bed of boughs beneath the canoe shelter. Much wood la
y on the shore - dead branches, broken logs, old trees that had fallen into the ocean and then drifted to this island. With some of this wood, we built a strong lean-to next to the canoe so all of us could be sheltered.

  We built a fire before the canoe at the base of the knoll, out of the wind. The wind was cold.

  We killed three seals on the west side of the island. We gathered more wood and secured our canoe and camp. When the rain began we set out baskets to collect water draining off the canoe. The wind started gusting, driving the rain.

  Huge, rough waves marched onto the shore. The jagged rocks and shoals protected us from the surf, but occasional surges rose up the beach nearly to our canoe.

  We waited four days for the wind to die.

  We had leaned the canoe so the bottom faced southwest and protected us. Some of us took shelter beneath the canoe, the rest beneath the lean-to next to the canoe. Anger and Long Braid unrolled the bear pelt and scraped the skin clean of gristle and blood. After stretching the hide on branches, Long Braid and Anger rubbed seal brains and urine onto the skin. Two days later, when they were finished, the bear hide was a soft, clean, warm robe.

  Long Braid found some herbs and lichens to keep Bright Eye’s leg healing.

  At times, dark clouds poured rain. Surf roared. The fire was steady. The southwest wind turned warm. The wind had pushed a large raft of floating ice against the island shore.

  On the fifth morning we rose to a clear sky. A few stars still shone overhead. The southwest wind had passed and now a fresh wind blew from the northwest. Sunlight sparkled on the trees on the peak of the island. Mist rose like smoke. Before we packed the canoe, we spread our robes and the bear pelt to dry. We had 10 seal stomachs full of water but Thin Hair and Fat Hair still frowned, fearing we had not enough for the long passage past the ice.

  “These next days, we cannot stop.” Thin Hair was inspecting the robes. “Now we will depart.”

  We rolled the canoe to the shore. I now knew how to help, as did the other captives, and we understood the need for haste. I helped Thrower pack the bone pieces forward in the canoe. Thrower worked hard, not speaking. His ears stuck out like wings. Behind us I heard Cold Eye scolding Weeps a Lot and Weeps a Lot More, acting as if she was already Thin Hair’s wife. Cold Eye was fair to look upon, she was strong, and she was smart. She talked, much.

  Thrower heard Cold Eye scolding and spoke softly, so only I could hear. “My father is lucky that he is growing deaf. He will need to be deaf if Cold Eye shares his robe.” Thrower’s smile was wide. Looking at the bone pieces, he set one aside. “These pieces have become wet and this bone is soft again. I will make a new thrower. I will carve a raven on the holder place.”

  “Will you teach me how to throw?”

  “I will show you when we get to The Place People Were.”

  We set off from the island, pushing the canoe into the sea. When we moved past the shelter of the shoals the canoe rose high, then fell, as each heavy wave passed beneath. The steady wind was strong and chill. Thin Hair, Pretty Face, Anger and Long Braid stopped paddling to set up the mast and sail. The canoe surged ahead.

  We went thus all day. People rested by leaving their post for a hand span of the sun, sitting, drinking water, and then paddling again. At the second thwart I paddled when I could, as did Tree Hide and Rock Hide. Weeps a Lot and Weeps a Lot More did not paddle. Bright Eyes had them working with her under the tent sewing and repairing clothing. They did not complain and I had not seen them weep for days. They seemed not so fat, either.

  Ahead of us, the ice face extended beyond sight. The ice had come all the way from the mountains and walked into the ocean itself. Against the water, the ice was jagged, dirty, and broken, with fissures and cracks. In some places, the face was high and straight. In other places, the ice was cut by gullies and deep coves. At times, huge pieces fell from the face, collapsing into the water, raining ice and snow, throwing huge waves. We could hear great splashes, even out where we were. A thick field of broken ice rose and fell in the waves at the foot of the face.

  “The ice bear is singing,” Bright Eyes said. “The ice bear has taken over the world and is singing her triumph.”

  The ice roared. Birds followed our canoe, calling and swooping. Two landed on the bow. Their black eyes shone and they seemed to be saying, “Paddle hard, paddle hard.”

  While we had sheltered from the storm my hands had healed and hardened. When my turn came at the thwart, the paddle shaft felt smooth and right in my hand.

  We set a steady pace, stroke by stroke, and the canoe flew with the sail and wind. When I stood just ahead of the second thwart, ahead of the sail, paddling, I could see before us. The ocean, blue with white flecks, stretched endlessly ahead. When we rose on the big waves, I could see far - the great ice wall, the ice bear roaring, and the dark peaks behind, far in the distance. Just ahead of me Thin Hair’s back worked and twisted as he paddled. In a low voice, he chanted, “Hut-hut-hut.”

  Bright Eyes pulled a small drum from her robe. With a short beat, she began striking in rhythm to Thin Hair’s voice. With this steady beat we traveled.

  The sail snapped in the wind, the mast creaked, Bright Eyes struck the drum, the ice bear sang, the sun crossed the sky.

  We sailed and paddled thus for two full days, well out to sea, away from the ice bear. The next-to-autumn moon was approaching and now at night the air grew chill. We ran out of food. We drank very little water.

  Just as in camp on the sea of grass, here in this canoe were all the sounds telling us where we were. On the sea of grass we would hear insects, small singing birds, the sweeping sound of the wind flowing across the long grasses, the rapping sounds of people striking stone to sharpen points. The fire crackled if we had wood, hissed if we used dung. In the canoe we heard different sounds: the water slopping against the bone in the bow, the thudding as waves struck the side, the wind sighing with the sail. From beyond the canoe we heard breaking seas, the more distant roar of the ice bear, the harsh calls of seabirds, and whooshing sounds when Tiny Whales surfaced near us and blew.

  At night the moon rose, span by span. Close by the moon two bright stars traveled, one red, the other silver. All across the sky stars spread in their uncountable numbers, a bright band overhead. The stars here over the ocean were even brighter than over the sea of grass. To the north, billows of color swept and swung, green and pink, robes covering the stars beyond.

  A bird perched on the bow, both nights.

  Our robes were damp, our clothing damp. The water in the canoe stank. All we could see to the left was the face of the ice bear, distant. Even at night the ice bear glowed, white.

  The second night, after the moon rose, clouds swept in from the south and covered the moon and stars. By dawn the clouds were dark, heavy, thick, and the wind shifted west then southwest. The wind began to increase. Far ahead, the ice bear ended. Past the sudden sheer wall of ice was water, only water.

  “That is the passage we must cross,” Thin Hair called. “Rain is coming.”

  Watcher steered the canoe further away from the ice bear. We were forced to sail with the wind coming from the side. The canoe leaned and I became scared. I understood that Watcher was trying to get us far from the ice bear. After that, he would sail before the wind into the open channel, clearing the ice face.

  Ahead, the sky was now dark. The rain began. We could not see the sun. The clouds were low and thick. Wind blew rain against the canoe. Thunder roared. Lightning flashed. Under Thin Hair’s direction, some paddled, helping Watcher keep the canoe headed in the correct direction, but the wind was too strong and we had to head downwind, back toward the ice bear. We took down the sail and mast. Some of us bailed.

  We could see nothing ahead. The seas were steep and breaking. Their tops rose above the sides of the canoe. Somehow we rose and each sea passed beneath us.

  We were running before the wind
and we were heading the only direction we could head. We could not see more than a few canoe lengths, even between squalls. The ice bear lay somewhere ahead and to the left of us, but we did not know how far.

  We bailed. Spray from the seas overrunning us spilled over the sides of the canoe. Water sloshed across the razor stone, swirling robes and clothing at our feet.

  I bailed. My arms ached. The canoe heaved one way, then another, and even on my knees in the water I could not stay balanced. Watcher steered and those who could paddle, paddled. Bright Eyes was helping bail but even now she could not kneel, or move, and all she could do was fill buckets for the rest of us to throw over the side.

  I saw another squall coming, rain like a cliff behind us, running after us, running over us. The canoe rose and fell, tilted and swung, water poured aboard, spray flew, seas broke.

  The wind then stopped. For long moments all I heard was rain. Then I heard a deep roar behind us. A huge black wave, blocking the wind, was coming upon us. The stern rose higher and higher until the canoe almost stood up straight. People grabbed what they could as things began to fall forward. A tumbling wall of foam then fell down the face of the wave, grasping the canoe. I knew we were all going to meet our spirits. We plunged down the great wave but then somehow rose before the next great wave, which passed beneath us. The wave’s shoulders were hunched as if a great animal had come from the deep ocean and risen to toy with our canoe before diving again, deep.

  We had taken much water. Desperately we bailed.

  As the squall passed, we saw to our left the high broken teeth of the ice bear. We were close to the foot of those teeth, only one or two canoe lengths away. I understood then that had not Watcher steered us away earlier, against the wind, we would not have cleared this face. We all stared at these teeth as the canoe wavered and wallowed past, driven by the wind. We were among ice chunks.

  We were moving away from the ice bear when a tooth of the bear fell away, collapsing, plunging into the sea. Huge waves rose and raced toward us. This time we could do nothing. Water poured over the sides into the canoe.