I find myself at the entrance to my apartment without really realizing it because my thoughts have been centered on Ava. I unlock the door and walk in realizing the place needs to be cleaned up. It’s not dirty in a there’s shit everywhere way, but more in a it hasn’t been deep cleaned since I fired the maid for trying to sleep with me way.
After cleaning up the living room, I slip my shoes off, and start unbuttoning my dress shirt, so I can be comfortable when Ava gets here, when a soft knock sounds against the door. “Fuck,” I mutter under my breath.
Padding over to the door, I have to stop every few steps to pick up random things and shove them into cabinets and drawers so the room at least looks neat, and pull it open, my eyes meeting Ava’s anxious brown ones. I can tell she’s worried from one single look at her, and that causes an ache to form in my chest. That worry is because of me. It’s my fault she feels the way she does, and I want to make it better. I will make it better.
“Come in.” I smile, but it falls when she doesn’t smile back, looking down at the floor as she walks into the apartment. I have to fix things with her. Closing the door behind her, I wait for her to turn around and say something, anything. I’m shocked when she doesn’t say anything but instead looks around the room, taking in the apartment and all its contents.
“This place is huge for someone who lives alone.” I slide my hands into the pockets of my dress slacks to stop myself from touching her.
“You have no idea. It’s lonely as hell. Not so much during the day, but at night when the city is asleep and all you have are the city lights to surround you.” I blink, startled that I just said that out loud.
Ava nods her head, brushing a few strands of hair behind her ear. I want to touch those silky locks and see if they’re as soft as they look, but with as anxious as she’s acting, I don’t want to scare her away.
“Well, should we get it over with?” Her smile is sad, and I step closer to her, my brow furrowed in confusion.
“Get what over with?” I’m confused and I’m sure my expression shows it.
She looks away from me, then whispers, “The firing. The job ending…” When I don’t say anything for a long second, she scrubs a hand down her beautiful face in frustration.
“I just don’t want you to fire me at the office, so if you’re letting me go, please just tell me here and now because I can’t handle any more drama.”
The sadness reflecting back at me grips me by the balls, and I find my feet moving of their own accord stopping only once I’m directly in front of her.
“I’m not firing you, Ava.” I tip her chin upward, that same electric feeling coursing through my veins when I touch her skin. Unreadable emotions swirl in her amber eyes, and I have to shut this shit down. I have to make her secure when it comes to whatever this, is between us.
“I didn’t invite you over to fire you.” Part of me can’t believe she would even think that’s why I asked her to come. “I invited you over to get to know you better. You have no idea how much you’ve consumed my every thought since that night at the bar.” She nibbles on her bottom lip, and I can’t help myself.
I have to taste her. I just hope she doesn’t run away from me when I do. Pressing my lips against hers, I feel her melt into my touch after only a few seconds, her body succumbing to the same need swirling inside of me. Her hands grip onto my biceps, and suddenly we’re moving, her legs wrapping around my midsection as I lift her against my body, the heat of her core radiating through me.
The feel of her against me makes it seem like my bedroom is miles away. I don’t have the patience to wait, not even long enough to spread her out on my bed. The table in my dining room is almost too far, but I manage to carry her over to it and set her ass on the very edge.
Her mouth breaks away from mine when I do, and she looks up at me with so many questions in her eyes. Not wanting to give her the chance to overthink this, I cover her mouth with mine once more and press my torso against hers, trying to get as close as possible.
Once she relaxes and starts to kiss me back, I release my hold on her waist and bring my hands up to start unbuttoning the silky shirt she wore to work today. Ava’s hands tighten around my arms, but she doesn’t stop me. I’m so lost in her taste, in the feel of her tongue rubbing against mine, it takes way too long to get to the last button, but when I do, I push the shirt off her shoulders and down her arms.
She doesn’t let go of me, so the shirt is trapped at her elbows, but I can’t bring myself to care. I’ve only seen her body once, and I was so drunk at the time, the memory is fuzzy. I’m finally going to see her sober, and knowing that, I use every bit of willpower I still have to pull my mouth away from hers and look down.
Her mouth is swollen from our kisses, and when I look into her eyes, they’re a deep chocolate color, full of lust and an emotion I can’t quite read. The flush covering her creamy white cheeks extends down her neck to the top of her breasts, and I follow it down until all I can see is the way her tits are straining against the white satin.
Jesus. My mouth waters when I see the way her puckered nipples are pressing against the thin fabric, and I trail a finger across first one, then the other, loving the way she gasps at my touch. Knowing I affect her this way makes me want to puff out my chest with pride, but I tamp down the urge.
My gaze doesn’t leave her chest as I use my hand to pop the front clasp on her bra, unable to take my eyes away from the way her tits bounce free. I take one into each palm, then lift my gaze back up to her to ensure she’s still with me.
Ava’s teeth are worrying her bottom lip so hard the flesh is almost white, but she nods her head almost imperceptibly, telling me she wants this too. She’s just afraid to ask me for it.
I keep my eyes on hers as I lower my head to lap gently at her nipple. The taste of her consumes my senses, and it takes everything I have not to squeeze my eyes shut and savor it. There will be plenty of time for that next time. And there will be a next time. That much I’m sure of. There’s no way I can have just one more time with her.
The moment my tongue touches her flesh, Ava’s mouth drops open and she moans low in her throat. The heat in her eyes grows hotter the longer I torture her. I want to make sure she’s damn good and ready for me this time.
“Please,” she begs with a whimper, squirming on the edge of my table in a futile attempt to get closer to me. I keep one hand firm on her hip so she can’t rub herself against me, because if she does, I won’t last long enough to make this good for her. She’s got me so damn keyed up right now, it’s taking all I have not to shove up her skirt and yank off what I’m sure are tiny little panties. The kind designed solely to make men insane.
The first time I suck her nipple into my mouth, her hands fly up to grip my hair. She pulls me closer, almost smothering me in her chest. What a way to go though. I nuzzle between them, pressing soft kisses against her silky flesh.
Her breath is coming in pants now, and soft pleas come from her lips. Hearing her beg me to take her, to give her pleasure breaks the fragile hold I have on my control, and I pull her up off the table so I can undress her the rest of the way.
She’s just as frantic as I am, pulling at the rest of the buttons on my shirt and sending them all over the room in her haste to bring us skin to skin. The way she’s jerking at my clothes makes it hard for me to get a grip on hers, and I’m trying to find the zipper I know must be on her skirt, while she’s pulling my belt out of my pants.
Ava makes a frustrated sound when she realizes I’m struggling and pushes my hands away so she can grab the hidden zipper on the side. Not wanting to fall behind, I unbutton my own pants with shaky fingers, then shove them down my hips at the same time she steps out of her skirt. The only thing separating our bodies now is her tiny thong, and I watch her eyes widen when she realizes I’m completely naked.
She starts to drop to her knees, but I have zero patience left. Gripping her by the waist, I turn her so she’s facing the table. Ava d
oesn’t waste any time, she lies flat on the table while I use my foot to spread her thighs farther.
I can see her arousal glistening on her thighs as I position myself. Wrapping one hand around my base, I slide it through her wetness before I start to push inside. She’s so wet and tight, my eyes almost roll back in my head at the feeling.
That’s when I realize I’m not wearing a condom, and when I step back, she whimpers in protest, looking over her shoulder at me. “I need to grab a condom,” I explain, wishing I kept one in my wallet and vowing to do so from here on out.
“No,” she murmurs, “it’s okay. I’m …” She trails off, and a look I don’t like at all crosses her face.
“Are you sure, baby? I promise I’m clean. Are you—” I start to ask if she’s on birth control, but she cuts me off.
“Please.” The expression on her face turns desperate as she pleads with me.
I can’t stand the way she’s looking at me, like she’s about to shake apart if I don’t finish this right fucking now. My hands grip her hips, pulling her into me at the same moment I slip inside her. Her body goes rigid for barely a second, and I curse inwardly at the knowledge that right now I have no finesse. All I can think is more. Now. Fuck her. I’ve been reduced to a caveman, because of her. She drives me wild, and I fucking love it.
Her pussy is so tight it feels like it’s strangling my cock when I pull back out. It feels wrong, and I have to thrust back in hard. Ava goes up on her toes, trying to push herself farther onto me, and I start pounding into her hard so hard I can feel her hips hitting the edge of the table with each movement.
The noises she’s making each time I push inside make me move faster and harder with each thrust. I can feel her walls rippling around me, and I know she’s getting close. It’s a damn good thing, because I don’t think I can hold out much longer. I don’t think I’ve ever come so fast in my life, but this is what Ava does to me. She steals every bit of control I have, and it’s addictive.
Using two fingers, I reach around and pinch her clit, my other hand still gripping her hip to keep her steady when she bucks against me. The minute I touch her, she goes off, screaming my name in pleasure and arching her back against me.
I wrap her long hair in my fist and keep her in that position while I thrust into her three more times before my own orgasm overtakes me and I can feel my cum shooting deep inside her channel. Once I’m empty, I release her hair and collapse against her back. I don’t know if I’ll ever move again. I’m fucking spent, and in the best kind of way.
A few minutes pass, and our breathing finally evens out. I can feel her heartbeat slow, and once she stops trembling, I stand, pulling out of her, even though it’s the last thing I want to do. I can see my cum dripping down her thighs, and my cock immediately stiffens again.
There’s something primal about marking a woman with your cum, and seeing my cum on her only heightens the caveman tendencies she brings out in me. I have half a mind to throw her over my shoulder and take her back to my bed, tying her to the bedpost until she admits she is mine, though I know that’d be taking it a little far.
Taking her by the hand, I pull her up and turn her into me. Our scents coupled with the smell of sex mingle together in the air. Every breath that enters my lungs calms me, making me feel more at peace than I have been in months.
Ava nuzzles into my chest, and I grab her thighs in my hands to lift her. She wraps her legs back around me as I carry her down the hall and into my room for round two. I smirk like an idiot, hoping she wasn’t planning to sleep tonight, because I don’t think I’m ever going to be satisfied with her.
Not now that I’ve finally found her, my Ava. I’m never letting her go.
Chapter Twenty-One
Ava
I wake with a startle. A sheen of sweat covers my body, and I’m acutely aware of Ryker’s sticky body against mine. The sex we shared was full of passion and heat, leaving me blissfully pleased, and I wish more than anything in the world I could stay in bed with him, but I can’t.
As soon as I untangle myself from Ryker’s body, I feel the guilt over what we have done in the pit of my belly. I let him kiss me and fuck me without telling him I’m pregnant with his baby. What was I thinking? Sitting on the edge of the mattress, I hold my head in my hands, feeling like total shit, even though my body feels deliciously worked over.
Shifting, I look over my shoulder at Ryker, who is sleeping like a rock. It’s like déjà vu all over again, and I know I’m going to get up at any second, put my clothes on, and walk out the door. There’s no way I can be here when he wakes up. I’m too embarrassed and too freaked out about the fact that I wound up here again, even though I knew it was a bad decision to come over in the first place.
I hate myself a little more as I get up from the bed, slipping each article of clothing on as I find it. Squeezing my eyes shut, I tell myself I can never have Ryker the way I want him. He doesn’t know about the baby growing inside of me, and when he finds out, he could think it’s a joke, or me trying to force him to stay with me. I don’t let myself think about the possibility that he could hate me for keeping it a secret from him. I know I haven’t known for very long, but it’s something I should have told him the minute I found out, and I didn’t.
Instead of staying and being honest with him, I walk out of his apartment in yesterday’s clothes, hoping no one sees me doing this walk of shame. My body shakes as I leave, the door sealing closed silently behind me. When I make it down to my car, the guilt has started to overtake me, and tears slip from my eyes and down my cheeks.
I should’ve told him. I should’ve fucking stayed so I could tell him.
I beat my hands against the steering wheel and jump when my phone chimes with an incoming text message.
Do I even want to look at it?
What if it’s Ryker? I start the engine, intending to leave and ignore it, but curiosity consumes me, so I grab my phone off the passenger seat and suck in a deep breath before looking down at the message.
It’s not Ryker demanding I come back, and I’m disappointed when I see Fallon’s name on the screen.
Fallon: Hope you’re doing well? Just wanted to know if you wanted to come to my bachelorette party next Saturday?
Deciding to think on it before I answer, I drive home instead of answering her. My heart aches in my chest as my thoughts swirl. I know Ryker will wake up expecting me there in his bed, and I wonder if he’ll hurt as much as I do. It hurts me more than I expected it to, and that terrifies me.
Am I falling in love with him?
As I park, my phone chimes once more, and I’m almost afraid to look at it. Getting lucky once with Fallon sending a message the first time mostly likely means this message is from Ryker, and that scares me to death.
Except I’m shocked when I grab the phone and see that it’s instead Fallon who texted me again.
Fallon: PS.. it would really mean a lot to me to have you there.
I laugh to myself, knowing I won’t be able to tell her no, so I respond to a text letting her know I’d be honored. My pussy tingles as my thighs rub together and the memory of the way Ryker possessed me pushes to the forefront of my mind.
“I want to keep you forever so I can worship every inch of your body.” He murmurs the words against my skin as he enters me so slowly my body trembles.
I can’t feel anything but him and the way his body claims me.
“Would you want that, Ava? To be mine?” he asks with a deep thrust that causes a moan to escape my lips. I want to deny to myself and to him the way I feel, but I know it’s no good. I’ve never felt the way I do right now, with anyone.
“Yes, I want to be yours,” I whisper, feeling my insides turn to mush as he brings me to orgasm again, my body soaring to new heights as waves of pleasure overtake me for the third time that night.
“Miss?” I blink, strangely aware of someone calling out to me. “Your purse?” A man points to the wallet at my feet. I move slowly, r
ealizing that I stalled in the middle of walking up to my apartment, all at the memory of Ryker and his irresistible lips, tongue, and cock. My cheeks warm, even though I know the stranger knows nothing of what I was daydreaming about.
I pick up the wallet and wave him on. “Thank you,” I call out, heading up to my apartment, wondering how the hell I’m going to get away with avoiding Ryker when he’s my boss and soon-to-be baby daddy.
He’s going to be pissed, and worst of all, he’s going to expect answers. What the hell will I do when I have none for him? I feel bad about leaving him this morning, but I feel worse about keeping our baby a secret.
As I enter my apartment, the only thought in my head is how I can avoid him until I’m ready to tell him when I just agreed to go to Fallon’s bachelorette party. Even if the party wasn’t a concern, I have no idea if Andi and Derek have started spreading rumors around at work.
Gabby is sitting at the dining room table when I walk in, a bowl of cereal and People magazine sitting in front of her.
She looks up from the magazine, eyeing me curiously. “Is that a walk of shame or something else?” The smile on her lips gives her away, and I cross the room, punching her gently on her arm before heading into the kitchen for something to eat. My stomach has been grumbling since I woke up this morning.
“I stayed over at Ryker’s last night,” I announce, getting a glass from the cabinet and the carton of orange juice from the fridge. I’m not normally a huge orange juice drinker, but the baby must like it because I could drink it all day now.
“And? Did you tell him about the baby?” I bite the inside of my cheek and shake my head no. I wonder if Marie told her about the pregnancy test or if she spotted the baby book sitting on the table in the living room.
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