“I’m too afraid to tell him. I don’t want him thinking I’m lying or trying to get money from him.”
Gabby shoves a spoonful of cereal into her mouth and nods. “I get that, but the longer you wait, the harder it will be. If you wait too long, you’ll miss out on doing all the baby stuff together instead of alone.”
Gulping juice from my cup, I ponder what she’s said. “What if he doesn’t want the baby though?” I ask nervously. Gabby doesn’t even skip a beat, like she knew what my question would be before I asked it.
“How do you know if you never tell him? Just because every man you’ve met has been a piece of shit doesn’t mean he is. Give him the benefit of the doubt, Ava.” Her voice is stern, and I know she’s right.
“You know you’re the second person to tell me that,” I mumble under my breath, knowing I’m backed into a corner.
“Let me guess, your mom was the other person?” she questions over her shoulder, her dark gaze piercing mine.
I smile. “Actually, it was. She said to give him a chance, but I’m too terrified to see what his reaction is to actually tell him.”
Gabby shrugs like it’s no big deal. “You’ll never know if you don’t try, right?”
“Right,” I agree, knowing it’s true. I won’t know unless I try, but I could also ruin whatever fragile bond we’ve created with nothing more than two words.
“I’m here for you, girl, but you have to give that man a chance and let him decide for himself. You can’t just assume he’s going to be the same as your dad. They’re two different people, and your situation isn’t the same as your mom’s was.”
I let Gabby’s words sink in as I finish drinking my juice, my hand rubbing against my non-existent belly. She’s right. I have to tell him, and I have to tell him soon if I want him to be there for everything.
First, though, I have to get up the courage to tell him, when just the simple thought makes me want to puke all over the floor.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Ryker
The drinks go down smooth, a lot smoother than I thought they would. Then again, when the only woman you’ve potentially ever loved starts avoiding you like the plague, it’s bound to happen. That coupled with the fact that she left me alone for the second time after a night of hot-as-hell sex, and I should be drinking something a lot stronger than the beer in my hand.
“How does it feel to be a dad?” Remy asks, his question to Reed somehow making its way through my subconscious, and I realize I’m not at home drinking my sorrows and instead out with my brothers for Reed’s bachelor party.
You see, it’s not that I forgot but that I’m so wound up, like a rubber band ready to snap at any second, and all because of some adorable-as-fuck blonde that has my head spinning, my heart pounding, and my dick in a constant state of readiness. She’s left me alone in bed twice now, and if I wasn’t so sure she liked me, my ego would be wounded.
“It’s different. It’s like my entire existence made sense the moment I saw Maverick’s face.”
I’m so shocked, my mouth drops open at his response. “Whoa, man, that’s deep.” And for once, I agree with Remy. That’s deep as hell. Reed takes a swig from his beer and rubs at his jaw as if he’s lost in thought.
“Kids change you, and I really do mean that. They make you love deeper and harder. They show you the meaning of life. Maverick isn’t that old, but I count every day knowing he’ll never be the same age he was today again.”
I squeeze the beer bottle in my hands, those words resonating through me. And for once I’m not afraid to admit that I’m jealous of Reed. He has it all: the girl, the business, and now the perfect family.
“I’d like kids, sooner rather than later,” Remy announces, and I blink once again, feeling like I don’t even know the two men I spent the majority of my life with.
I can feel eyes on me and notice both Remy and Reed staring at me. “What?” I blurt out, probably a little more menacing than necessary, but like I said…I’m wound up.
Reed rolls his eyes. “What about you? Do you want kids?”
I shrug, never having really given much thought to the possibility. Now that I am, I know I do. “Yeah, of course, I want kids. The question you should be asking is, does the person who I want to possibly have kids with want to have kids with me?” I feel bad the moment the words come out of my mouth. I’m a grumpy asshole.
Neither say anything, and I feel the need to apologize. “I’m sorry, okay? I’ve had a shit week, and I’m pretty sure Ava is avoiding me again…” I trail off, not wanting to dive any deeper into my shit-hole love life. My brothers look up at me, and before I can stop, I’m spilling everything to them.
“She left me. Can you believe that? I asked her to come over after I left the hospital. I just…I needed to be with someone, you know?” Looking up, I expect them to be grinning or ready to give me shit about being pussy-whipped, or maybe just being a pussy in general, but they’re both somber as they look back at me. “Anyway,” I continue, relaxing a little now that I know they are really listening, “we had sex, but she was right there with me, all three times. I know she wanted it as much as I did, but then when I woke up the next morning, she was gone again. I don’t get it. I don’t get her.”
Remy runs a hand over his lips, to hide a smile I’m sure, but there’s no trace of humor in his voice, so maybe I’m wrong. “Has she said anything?”
“Nothing. I’ve tried to corner her in my office this week to force her to talk to me, but unless it’s work related, she’s locked up tight.” Even saying it out loud doesn’t make it make sense. I still don’t understand what her deal is, and it’s frustrating as hell.
This time, it’s Reed who responds. “Are you sure she wants the same thing you do? Maybe she ran away because a relationship isn’t what she’s after.”
“That could be true,” Remy agrees. “Is it possible she’s after something else? Like, maybe she wants money or she’s trying to secure a job, and she thinks if she sleeps with you that will do it? I wonder if it’s just that she felt bad after for using you, and she ran.”
I want to tell him he’s wrong, but what she said when she came over runs through my head, leaving me wondering. She was worried I was about to fire her. Did she fuck me so I wouldn’t? Now that the thought is in my head, I can’t get away from it, and my brothers must notice the way I tense because Reed changes the subject.
“Okay, since we’re talking kids, and obviously relationships, or lack of thereof for some of us,” he looks pointedly at Remy, causing me to laugh, “I think we should discuss the letters.”
Remy and I look at each other, unsure of where this is going. “Letters?” I question, placing my empty beer bottle on the bar, feeling like I may need something a little stronger for this discussion.
“Yes, letters. The ones Dad left behind for us to read.” Reed runs a hand through his hair as if he’s stressed, and I’d hate to think the man is discussing business while we’re supposed to be helping him celebrate his upcoming marriage to Fallon. Honestly, I’m shocked he didn’t take her straight from the hospital to the nearest courthouse and make her his wife then.
“I’ve got a bunch of shit I’m supposed to read through, but I haven’t had the time to yet. You know, since my boss is a real asshole,” Remy says sarcastically.
I nod in agreement, bumping his fist with mine before saying, “Same.”
“Well, you both need to read them. Dad had some shit going on that none of us knew about, and while I didn’t want to really bring the matter up now, I figured since I have you both here, why the hell not?”
Remy and I look at each other in confusion, but he’s the first to ask the question weighing on both our minds. “What are you talking about, Reed? What shit?”
Reed rubs at the back of his neck, and I can see the tension around his eyes when he looks up at both of us. “It’s just…there was a lot we didn’t know about Dad. Things he didn’t see fit to tell us when he was ali
ve. It’s too much for me to explain... I mean, that’s why he wrote the damn letters.” He laughs, but it’s not the kind that accompanies something funny. No, it’s an exhausted, completely unamused kind of laughter.
The sound of a cell phone ringing pulls us all out of the conversation, and I pause, grabbing my cell from my pocket only to be left disappointed when Reed steps away with his phone to his ear.
“Hey, baby.” The way his voice softens tells me it’s Fallon. Remy looks over at me and rolls his eyes. We both know he’s wrapped around her tiny little finger. Turning away, he puts one finger in the ear he’s not holding his phone up against and lowers his voice so we can’t hear whatever it is he’s saying to her.
I want to tell him to get off the phone and celebrate some more with us, but instead I signal the bartender for another drink, deciding at the very least to drink my sorrows as much as I can for the evening.
After a few minutes, he lowers the phone and turns back to face us with a smirk on his face. “My fiancée misses me. I love you guys, but I’m sorry, I love her more.”
Remy’s eyes roll, but he gets up to follow Reed after they both put some money down on the bar to cover the tab. I almost stay to drown my sorrows some more, but a text from Reed right after he leaves has me slamming money down and rushing out the door after them.
Reed: Oh, by the way, Ava’s at the party. Just thought you might want to know.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Ava
There is nothing more embarrassing than showing up to a bachelorette party and being unable to drink liquor and wine without telling the real reason why. Thank God for Marie or I’d have a lot of explaining to do.
I try and hide the anxious feelings I’m having with a smile, as Fallon introduces her friend Mel to me and Marie. Mel’s cool as hell, and has this girl-next-door vibe that she gives off, and that’s not even the icing on the cake. She’s gorgeous with waves of ebony-colored hair cascading down her back. When her gunmetal blue eyes meet mine, they hold uncontained excitement. Looking at her and Fallon, you’d never expect them to be best friends.
Then again, I never thought Gabby and I would be either. I sigh inwardly, looking at Marie over my shoulder. She seems uninterested in the entire event and I frown, hating that she isn’t enjoying this more.
I brought her hoping we could bond and maybe be able to discuss her hate for Ryker and his family, but instead I’ve sat here passing every single beverage I’m given to her. At this rate, she won’t be able to walk out of this place when it’s time to leave.
“How do you all know each other?” Mel breaks the ice, sucking on a long island iced tea. We’re sitting at the packed bar, and I start speaking before I can stop myself.
“Well, I just met Fallon at work, and we hit it off right away.” I smile. “And I’ve known Marie since the first day of college.” I place my hand on Marie’s shoulder and she smiles, though it doesn’t meet her eyes, making me wonder if Fallon and Mel can sense the tension between us.
“That’s awesome.” Mel beams up at me. “I’ve known Fallon as long as she’s known Reed, so basically forever.” Mel laughs and her laughter warms me. There is something so intoxicating about this girl. Her smile, her eyes, she’s like the friend you’ve always wanted but never knew you needed.
“Yes, Mel is like a female version of Reed, except I don’t have a baby with her, and I’m not screwing or marrying her.” We all laugh, and then Fallon’s attention turns to my friend. “What do you do for work, Marie?” she asks, taking a big drink of her wine. She told us earlier in the night that she was pumping and dumping because she’s trying to breastfeed, and I admire that. She wants to be the best mother she can be to her child, and I hope like hell I can be just as good of a mom.
“I’m working as an assistant at a law firm right now while I finish up my degree.” Marie shrugs like it’s not a big deal, but she’s working at one of the top firms in the city—and probably the state. If she’s not going to volunteer the information, though, I won’t force her. She’s never been one to boast about herself or what she has or doesn’t have.
“That’s awesome, Marie.” Fallon gushes, “You probably get to see all kinds of crazy people. I don’t have nearly as fun of a job, but I do get to see my man everyday, so that’s a perk, and well, he’s the boss too so…” Her cheeks turn pink as she trails off, and I know she’s thinking about those “perks.”
Marie laughs, nodding her head as she tells us, “Oh yes. You wouldn’t believe some of the people who come in for appointments. Most of what the lawyers do is criminal defense, and they get everything from accused murderers to people got caught streaking across the field at a football or baseball game.” Her grin widens as she continues. “We just had one of those last week. He offered to show me pictures so I’d know why it shouldn’t have been considered a criminal offense. The guy even said his running around naked was something all women should consider a privilege.” Laughter bubbles out of me, and I cover it up by taking a sip of water
Mel snickers, nudging Fallon with her shoulder. “That so sounds like something one of the Winston brothers would say.”
“Oh definitely,” Fallon agrees. “Not so much Reed anymore, but I can definitely see Ryker or Remy saying something like that.” The two women laugh, but a sourness coats my stomach when I think about how well Mel seems to know Ryker. Did she have a relationship with him? Obviously, I know he wasn’t a virgin when we had sex the first time, but just the thought of being near someone he’s slept with makes me want to throw up.
I almost ask, but there’s no way I actually want to know. Knowing for a fact Ryker slept with someone I can see myself being friends with would absolutely ruin my night, and I don’t want Fallon and Mel to think I’m a jealous harpy.
The conversation at the table turns back to Fallon, Reed, and their new baby. My relief is almost palpable, and I throw myself into the conversation eagerly. “What’s Reed like as a dad? He’s always so serious at work. I mean, he’s just so intimidating. I can’t imagine what it would be like to be his child…or his child’s mom, for that matter. I’d always be afraid he was going to think I was doing it wrong.”
Fallon gives me a sweet smile as the look on her face turns dreamy. “Reed is the best daddy. The best almost husband too.” Sighing, she rests her chin in her hand and carries on, “Seeing Reed hold Maverick, I swear, it’s the most amazing thing ever. He’ll cradle him in his arms, holding him close to his chest as he sways back and forth. Every time I see him do it, I want to jump him, even though I know we can’t yet. I swear, seeing the man as a daddy is going to have me knocked up again as soon as the doctor says we can have sex.”
Her attention turns to me. “Ryker is a great guy too, you know. He likes you so much, and I know if you give him a chance, he’ll make you happy.” The way she’s looking at me makes me squirm in my seat because I get the feeling she knows more than she’s letting on. Her eyes are focused on me, and even though I can tell she’s tipsy, she’s so focused on me it’s unnerving. Then she continues, saying, “And, if Ryker doesn’t work out, there’s always Remy. She giggles, and her words make me relax a little, because there’s no way she can know I’m pregnant if she’s recommending Remy as a backup option.
Mel frowns at Fallon’s offer, but before I can think too hard about it, Fallon’s whole face lights up and a huge smile spreads across her lips. “Reed!” she shrieks, stumbling into his arms as she tries to get off her stool. He laughs, wrapping his arms around her waist and bending down to kiss her lips. My heart squeezes at the obvious affection between them, and I’m so focused on them, I don’t notice Ryker walking up behind me until his lips touch my cheek.
“Ava,” he growls, his voice deeper than normal. I turn to look up at him, and the look in his eyes is intense as he studies my face. “How much have you had to drink?”
I shake my head. “None. Just water.” I lift my glass to prove it, completely forgetting I’ve been shoving drinks at
Marie all night until she jabs me in the side. Crap. I look around the table, hoping Fallon and Mel didn’t notice my oops, but Fallon is still attached to Reed’s mouth, and Mel is staring at Remy like she’d like to eat him for dessert instead of the cheesecake forgotten on her plate.
When Reed and Fallon finally come up for air, she introduces Marie to the guys. “This is Ava’s friend, Marie Duchesne.” She keeps talking, telling Reed about how we met and her job, but I can only focus on the way Reed is staring daggers at my friend. Tension seems to rise between them.
Marie’s glaring back at him, and when I look over at Ryker, he’s staring at Reed too, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. As much as I want to ask her what that’s all about, I know now isn’t the right time. There’re secrets that need to be exposed, but not here. I will be cornering her later though. It’s beyond time to find out what’s going on with her and the Winston brothers.
Reed finally tears his dark gaze away from Marie, and when he looks down at Fallon, his whole expression changes. Instead of the dark, pissed-off look, his eyes soften and he smiles softly at her. She’s sagging against him, and he tightens his hold on her before looking at both of his brothers. “I think Fallon’s had enough. I’m taking her home and tucking her into bed.” Fallon perks up at his words and stretches to whisper something in his ear that makes his hands fist at her waist and his expression turns almost feral.
Ryker and Remy both laugh but don’t make comments.
Instead, Ryker turns to me and asks, “Can I take you home?”
I start to tell him it’s not necessary because I came with Marie, but before I get the words out, she’s grabbing her purse and telling me, “I’ve got to go. I just remembered something I need to do.” She doesn’t elaborate, and when I meet her eyes, the freaked-out look in them has me worrying about her even more.
“I’ll be fine,” she reassures me, squeezing my hand before she walks away. I know I should follow her and order her to tell me what’s going on, but I can’t. As badly as I want to know, I can’t force her to talk to me.
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