“Marie.” I hate that he’s referring to her that way. It makes it seem like she’s less than a person, like he’s trying to keep the situation impersonal when it’s as personal as it can get. She’s our sister, whether we like it or not.
He nods. “Marie, she’s just as much of a victim as we are in this. She didn’t ask to be born, and we can’t hold it against her.”
He’s right, and when Ryker nods in agreement, I try to break the tension in the room by punching Ryker in the shoulder and forcing a chuckle. “Hey, you know what I just thought about?” They both turn to me, and I explain. “Maybe Dad is the reason you met Ava. If you hadn’t met her, we would have to search for Marie. Ava coming along when she did, being friends with her? That can’t just be a crazy coincidence.”
My words have the opposite effect. Ryker jumps up, rubbing his hands on the sides of his pants as if he’s nervous. His eyes dart around the room, but he doesn’t look at us when he says, “I have to go.”
Reed yells after him, but he’s moving so fast the door shuts before he finishes saying his name. His attention turns to me, and with a sigh, he tells me, “He just found out Ava’s pregnant.”
Pregnant? My mouth falls open in shock, and all I can do is stare at him. Soon, both of my brother’s will have children, will have women who love them. They’ll be happy in their own little lives, and where will that leave me? When we were kids, everyone always thought the two of them were twins, and now I have an extra sibling to compete with.
I’ve been the third wheel my entire life, and now? Now I’ll be the fifth wheel...hell, I’ll be the seventh wheel if you count their kids. Once we add Marie to it, it will only get worse. I feel like I’ll always be the odd man out.
I shouldn’t be jealous, I know that, but I am. I’m so fucking jealous, and the first thought I have about all of this that I want what they have. I want the wife, the kids, the fucking happy-go-lucky life.
I want it all, just so maybe... maybe I can finally compete with them.
Reed’s hand on my shoulder brings my attention back to right here and now, and when I meet his eyes, the sympathy in them is too much for me to bear. He has no idea what it’s like for me, and I’m not about to try and explain it to him either.
Moving out from under his grip, I look away, my eyes focusing on anything in the room but my oldest brother. “I should probably go.”
“You don’t have to,” Reed starts.
I shake my head, knowing if I stay, I’ll end up spilling everything, and no one needs that. “No, seriously. It’s cool. I have some shit I need to take care of.” I start making my way to the door, and when I finally reach it, I’ve composed myself enough to meet his concerned eyes. I lift my gaze and say, “I’ll talk to you later, okay?”
As much as I know he wants to object, he doesn’t. His eyes watch me as I leave, and I swear I can still feel them on me when I get into my car.
I have no idea where I’m going when I start my car, and hit the gas driving wherever life takes me, but I’m not even a mile from his house when I see the sign for a shitty looking bar. The sign outside is flickering, but it doesn’t keep me from seeing the name. Abe’s. Looks like as good a place as any to get shit-faced and forget all my problems for a little while. It seems to have worked for Ryker and Reed, hopefully it’ll work for me too.
After a five-minute search for a parking spot, I push open the door and walk inside. My feet make a disgusting sucking noise with each step, and I start to wonder if maybe there is such a thing as a too-shitty bar. There are cigarette stains on the walls, and a horrible selection of music beats from speakers that most definitely have seen better days. I have half a mind to turn around and walk out of the place but decide against it when I see her standing at the other end of the bar. My ass barely finds the seat on the old leather cracked bar stool as I stare at her. She’s got one hand on her hip, but she’s smiling down at the guy talking to her while he gestures wildly, spilling a pale beer on the bar top and floor as he does so. It hits me then exactly what I need tonight.
An argument with Mel is just what I need to feel better. If last night is anything to go by, fighting with her leads to the best sex I’ve ever had, and that’s a much better way to get out all of this aggression I’m feeling. Hopefully, it’s better than drinking till I pass out.
Chapter Seven
Mel
This bar, and the people in it, is the last thing on my mind, but with the medical bills hanging over my entire family’s heads, I know I can’t afford to let my guard down. My dream was always to be a big-time journalist but focusing on that will have to wait until my sister is in remission or at least out of the hospital.
When I walk inside, I spot one of my favorite regulars, Jack. He’s an old, somewhat bat-shit crazy, man with more wisdom and thoughts then I care to admit, but he’s sweet, and he always leaves good tips.
Jack’s talking to Abe, the owner of Abe’s bar, and my one time, one night, mistake. When his dark eyes clash with mine I cringe. Since the night I made the awful decision to have sex with him in the back room, he’s been all over me. Possessive, controlling, and more much like an ex-boyfriend than my boss.
“Melody,” Jack rasps, smiling at me as I make my way behind the bar, Abe’s creepy stare making me feel dirty. I can feel him eyeing me up and down. It’s disturbing, and if I weren’t so desperate for the money, I’d probably walk out right now, and never look back.
I return his grin, making a point to ignore Abe as I saunter up to the bar, focusing my attention on the friendly older man instead. “Hey Jack. How are you tonight?”
“Oh, you know, just drinking rum and having a good ole’ conversation with Abe here.” He grins, showing off the few teeth he has remaining, the others lost in what he says were numerous bar fights, ones that weren’t his fault, but knowing him like I do now, I find that hard to believe.
Returning his smile, I touch his hand with mine. “Well, don’t stop on my account. I’m going to get inventory done before business picks up.” I cross my fingers hoping Abe won’t follow me as I walk to the back of the bar.
I count the bottles of liquor and cases of beer, marking how many of each we need on my notepad. When I finish, I turn around to leave the room, jumping when I see Abe standing in the doorway. My notepad and pen fall, the noise overly loud when they hit the floor.
“Jesus. Could you maybe say something next time instead of just standing there staring?” The words don’t have nearly the amount of venom they normally would, and the longer we stand here, the more uncomfortable I become. The way he’s staring at me gives me the creeps.
After a few more silent moments, I bend, picking up my stuff quickly and hoping I can get past him before he tries something, but I’m not fast enough. Before I can slip past him, he’s in front of me, blocking my way and bringing our bodies a whole lot closer than I want them to be.
“You’ve been avoiding me, Mel.” Even the way he says my name makes me shiver. “You don’t return my calls, or texts, unless it’s something work-related.” There’s an edge to his voice that I don’t like, and I straighten, trying to hide the fear that’s trickling down my spine.
As hard as it is, I lift my eyes to meet his. “We aren’t dating Abe. We had sex. Once. We’ve never even been on a date, and we’re never going to be.” Somehow, I manage to find my voice, the muted sounds from the bar barely noticeable, making it boom in the small space.
He rubs the back of his neck, and I can see frustration start to form on his face. Abe might be a decent boyfriend, but I’m not in the market for one and his clinginess and possessive behavior only turns me off more. I don’t want to tell him it was a mistake, an act of loneliness on my part, but I may have to if he won’t take the hint.
He sighs. “I offered you this job because I knew you needed it.”
I can already tell where the conversation is going, and I refuse to listen to it. “You offered me the job before we slept together, thank you very f
ucking much.” My anger explodes, and I lean forward, both hands on his chest, shoving him back. “If you want to win a woman over, or get one to give you a second chance, maybe try not guilt-tripping her into it. I don’t need your pity, and I don’t need this job if that’s how you’re going to act.” The last part is all bravado. I do need this job. I need it more than he’ll ever know.
Abe pales, and shock forms on his rough features. I don’t think a woman has ever talked to him like I just did, but I don’t care. I don’t give a fuck if he’s upset, and at the moment, I’m having a hard time caring about whether he’s going to fire me. I’m fed up with his behavior, the passes he makes at me in and out of work.
He moves his arm a second later and I don’t hesitate to move around him, practically sprinting back to the main room, leaving him to wallow in his thoughts.
When I get back to the bar, I pour Jack another drink, and we get into a long conversation about how he once tried to run for Mayor. His stories always have me busting at the seams with laughter and tonight is no different.
As Jack’s story comes to an end, I hear the sound of the front door squeaking open to signal an incoming customer. When I turn to greet the new patron, my eyes widen. How did he find me here?
Remy Winston is literally the last person I expect to see in this bar, and yet here he is, in all his perfection. He settles onto the worn bar stool with a shit-eating grin pulling at his lips. God, please help me, I whisper to myself, walking over to serve him.
“Are you stalking me now?” I wince, lowering my voice when I see Abe standing at the edge of the hallway, his eyes narrowed on us.
Great. Just what I need, more boy problems.
The noise he makes is almost a snort. “Not at all, though I can’t complain about seeing you again, since you basically told me I’d never get a second chance.”
I roll my eyes, shaking my head at his smartass remarks. “To get a second chance, you would’ve had to have a first. He opens his mouth to argue, but I cut him off. “What can I get you?”
Unreadable emotions swirl in his honey-colored eyes, but they disappear before I can decipher them.
“I’ll take a glass of whiskey, straight.”
I blink, not understanding the rough undertone in his voice. “Rough day?” I ask, grabbing a bottle of our best whiskey, which honestly isn’t that great, and a glass. I set them both in front of him. His eyes lift to meet mine, and I immediately both love and hate the way he looks at me. Like I’m the reason his world is still spinning, or some idiotic shit like that.
“You haven’t the first clue. Ever have a dad you thought the world of only to find out he was liar and cheat?”
I nod, sadly. “Oh yes. Sounds like my father. You sure they aren’t the same person?” The thought makes me screw up my face in disgust. Good job, Mel. Ask the guy you slept with last night if you have the same father. Talk about gross.
Remy just smiles, pouring the brown liquid into his glass before gulping down more than half. He wipes a few drops of the liquid from his lips with the back of his hand, and I bite my bottom lip, trying to keep myself from envisioning what it would be like to steal a taste from his lips.
My heart pounds in my chest, and once again my thoughts turn sexual. Memories of last night play in my mind, reminding me of the way he made me feel loved, cherished, protected. All things I’ve never felt with a man before.
“Did your father by chance leave you a sister you had no idea about?” Remy jokes, his eyebrow lifting in what I’m sure is supposed to be a playful way, but he just seems sad.
I blink, not sure if he’s kidding or not, but when his grin falters and his eyes turn sad, I try to make him feel better by telling him one of my own secrets. “Wow, that’s pretty bad. You may have me beat, although my father did leave my mother for his assistant while my little sister was in the hospital fighting cancer.” My blood boils just from saying the words.
It’s his turn to look shocked, but it quickly turns to anger. “What a fucking prick. What kind of waste of fucking space cheats on their wife? Especially when their kid is in the hospital with cancer?”
I shrug, “I used to ask myself that all the time but doing so only made me angrier. I’m better off focusing on how to help my sister, so I just push the anger down, swallowing it as much as I can.”
Biting the inside of my cheek, I’m fully aware that I’ve just said more to Remy about my father and sister than anyone else. I don’t even talk to Fallon about it much because talking doesn’t change the outcome. Dad’s still a dick, and my sister is still sick. I don’t want her or anyone else to feel sorry for me.
“I’m sorry.” Remy starts, but I stop him with a shake of my head.
“Don’t be. I don’t want your pity. There are people who have it way worse out there. I just deal with my own shit. There isn’t any point in bitching about something that can’t be changed.”
He takes another drink, sighing as he sinks further into his chair. “You’re right, but it does help to talk it out. Like right now I’m so fucking frustrated about my father and the life-altering letter that he wrote me. Not to mention, my brothers and how they’re both happy, getting married and having kids. It’s like I’m on the outside looking in.”
“Ryker’s getting married, and having kids?” I’m a bit taken back by his statement but enjoy the change in topic. Anything to keep the topic off of me and the shit storm called my life.
Looking even more dejected, if that’s even possible, he explains, “Well, I don’t know if he’s getting married, but he’s having a baby with his new intern. They met before she was hired, so he had no idea she was going to be his new assistant when he knocked her up.”
“That’s good though, isn’t it? Your brothers are creating lives of their own. I’m sure you won’t be far behind them, with your own wife and kids.” I cringe as I say the words, because even if I don’t want to admit it, the thought of Remy finding someone else doesn’t sit well with me.
I’ve never been the type to lust after a man and yet here I am, my heart pounding in my chest and my thoughts swirling with need.
“Probably not. The one person I want doesn’t want me, so I doubt I’ll be moving into a relationship anytime soon.”
He takes another drink from his glass and I freeze when I hear Abe’s footsteps coming closer to where Remy and I are. As badly as I want to quit this job, I need it. Abe pays decent enough, understands my busy schedule, and he knows about my sister and her cancer. I just need to get over the creepy vibe he gives off.
“Who’s your friend?” Abe questions. His stance is possessive, and when he places his hand on my shoulder, I have to fight not to shrug it off.
Remy narrows his eyes, and I feel like I’ve been caught in the lion’s den, stealing me from the King. “Remy this is Abe. Abe this is Remy.” I introduce them even though I don’t want to. My palms are sweaty and my stomach churns having them near each other. It’s like two parts of my life meeting when I never expected or wanted them to.
“Nice to meet you Abe. I’m guessing you run this bar.” Remy asks.
Abe nods, chest puffing out with pride. “Sure do. I hope Mel here is helping you?” Directing his attention back towards me, and basically acting as if Remy isn’t here at all, he continues, “We aren’t done talking. Meet me in my office when you’re done with your shift.”
I don’t say a single word, but definitely notice the way that Remy’s eyes fall to the bar. Based on the way he’s clenching his hands around his glass where it sits on the bar, I can tell he’s annoyed. I can’t really blame him because I feel the same way.
“Thanks for the reminder, Abe, but I’m in the middle of something here.”
Abe takes my not-so-subtle hint and smiles as he walks away, like he’s some badass who laid claim to me. God, why did I ever think hooking up with him was an okay idea? I know better, really, I do.
“If you were seeing someone you could’ve just said it instead of saying you
don’t date.”
Remy’s eyes lift to mine and I can see the betrayal in them. I don’t owe him an explanation, but I still feel the need to tell him that Abe is nothing to me. I can’t bear the thought of him thinking I’m the kind of person who would cheat on her boyfriend. “I’m not seeing anyone.” I’m so quick to contradict him I’m not sure he even hears me. “He’s just a dick who knows I need this job to help cover all the medical bills my mother and I have right now. I made the mistake of sleeping with him one night and I’ve regretted it every day since.”
I’m not sure why I just let all of that information vomit out of my mouth, but there’s no denying the pressure seems to lift off my heart the second I do. If he were any other man, I wouldn’t care, but Remy’s jealousy bothers me. I don’t want him jealous of another man having me, not when he’s the only man I can picture in my mind. Not when he’s the only man I’ve thought about all damn day.
When I look back up, Remy’s gaze is fixated on me, burning me into place. I can see the lust swirling in his eyes, and for some strange reason I can’t break the trance he puts me in. It’s like I’m stuck between wanting him and wanting to push him away all at the same time. I know we can never be anything more than fuck buddies, but even that’s tempting at this point. The man makes me feel things I’ve never felt for a man before.
His lips part ever so slightly, and I want to lean in and kiss them just to remember if they’re as soft as they felt last night.
“If you need a job, I can get you one. I can help you Mel. You don’t have to work in this shit bar with a boss who won’t stop trying to take advantage of you. He’s obviously not taking the hint.”
It feels like a bucket of cold water has been poured on me as I digest Remy’s words. “I told you before I don’t want, or need, your pity, and the job is fine. He’ll get it eventually. I don’t need anything from anyone, especially you. Relying on others leaves you vulnerable to getting hurt and I’m not going to put myself in that situation again.”
Winston Brothers Box Set Page 39