The Man I Need

by Williams, Shanora

  “All right.” He sighs, and I stroke Callie’s back with my free hand. I missed my sweet girl. “Don’t even worry about the hearing. You have enough evidence.”

  “I hope so.” Truth be told, I am nervous as hell. What if we’re appointed a judge who couldn’t give a shit about our case? What if Kyle pulls something out of his sorry ass that sets me back?

  I don’t know how the hearing will go, but I do know that I have to remain confident.

  This is my life, and I refuse to let Kyle take any more of it away from me.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Gabby

  My hair is brushed and tied in a sleek bun that took me an hour to straighten before styling.

  I’m wearing a conservative sky-blue dress I found at Banana Republic, with pumps to match. I stare at myself in the mirror of Jasinda’s restroom, focusing mostly on my eyes.

  “I can do this,” I tell myself. “I can do this.”

  My heart beats faster with every word. I can do this. With the words repeating in my head, I pick up my clutch and leave the restroom, going to Jasinda’s office before I talk myself out of it.

  “You ready?” she asks when she spots me.

  “Yeah. Let’s do this.”

  From her office, we ride to the hearing together, and along the way, she gives me the rundown.

  She tells me to remain calm when I see Kyle, and to not speak unless I am spoken to in the courtroom. I can do that.

  For a split second, I feel pretty confident about doing this, but as soon as we pull up to the courthouse, my heart drops to my stomach.

  Kyle is standing in front of the courthouse beside his attorney. My heart drums in my chest, but I get out of the car anyway when Jasinda does. She locks her car, and I follow her up the steps.

  “Don’t panic,” Jasinda says quietly as we walk toward the entrance of the courthouse. She notices Kyle too. She knows exactly what he looks like after I showed her the images of him. “Don’t even look at him. Just keep walking.”

  I do as she instructs, sticking by her side. I can feel Kyle’s eyes on me as I pass him a short distance away. Even as I walk up the stairs, I can still feel his hot glare on me, one of disapproval and loathing. Before coming up, I noticed the cut on his cheek and his lip, courtesy of Marcel. He’s lucky he didn’t end up with a black eye.

  When I’m inside, the cool air in the building swallows me whole, and I draw in a deep breath before exhaling.

  “You’re much better than some of my other clients. Most end up getting into it before the hearing even begins.” Jasinda smiles, then digs into her briefcase, taking out a pack of mints. “Here, suck on one of these. I know it sounds weird, but I swear the mint always works as a good distraction.”

  I take the case and dump one into my hand, popping it into my mouth.

  “Courtroom’s this way.”

  She leads the way. Once we’re inside, surrounded by brown benches, tables, and American flags, Jasinda places her briefcase down on one of the tables. I take the seat next to hers, sucking on the mint while studying my surroundings.

  I have never been inside a courthouse before, let alone a courtroom. Luckily, no one will be here but us, and not some grand jury like all the movies have.

  Several minutes later, the doors behind us swing open and Kyle saunters in behind his attorney. They take the desk just across the aisle from us, and Kyle’s attorney takes several papers out of his briefcase then takes a seat, straightening his tie.

  The judge enters the room moments later, swathed in black with a head full of peppery hair, and the bailiff introduces him as Judge Walker as we all stand.

  After the judge tells us to be seated, the hearing begins by Jasinda pleading my case, and telling the judge about the history of domestic abuse between me and Kyle, then proceeds to request a restraining order.

  I can hear Kyle scoffing as his attorney writes down notes. I steal a glance at Kyle and he’s shaking his head, as if all of this is preposterous. After Jasinda presents all the proof of Kyle’s abuse, including the domestic reports I filed at the police station, and even the voicemail he left on Marcel’s phone—which Kyle did not see coming—Judge Walker is pleased to hear that I already have a restraining order.

  He informs us that that I can proceed with the divorce trial after six months, since the law requires us to be separated for six months or more. Since Kyle still refuses to go with a settlement, we have no choice but to take this to trial.

  Six months seems like an eternity, but as long as I don’t have to be around him, I will get through it.

  It all happens so quickly—much quicker than I had anticipated. I’m more than relieved when I’m out of that courtroom.

  “I’m going to run to the restroom really quick,” I tell Jasinda.

  “Okay. I’ll meet you outside.” She trots away, and I go down the hall to find the ladies room.

  After I wash my hands and dry them, I leave the restroom, but as I turn the corner, I catch a familiar pair of dark-brown eyes.

  I gasp as Kyle pushes off the wall, standing in a dark blue Armani suit. My heart slams against my ribcage, and I make an effort to get around him, but he catches me by the elbow and swings me back in front of him.

  “Leave me the hell alone, Kyle,” I hiss at him, shoving his hand away.

  “Gabby, aren’t you tired of this charade?” he asks, his voice calm.

  “This is not a fucking charade, and the fact that you think it is proves how fucking insane you are.”

  His eyes narrow, and I swear they turn a shade darker as he steps closer to me. “You do realize that I am the one with all of the money? I have your car. Your art. I have everything you love—hell, I may as well own you. You will walk out of this with absolutely nothing to your name, and when that happens, everyone will look at you like you are the fool. Not me. I’m advising you, as your husband, to not go through with this, and to save your future while you can.”

  I get closer to his face, but even so, my heart booms even louder. “You are not my fucking husband anymore,” I snarl.

  His upper lip twitches, and he brings a hand up, grabbing my upper arm tight and slamming me as gently as possible into the wall.

  I fight a gasp as he cages me in with both arms. He does it so casually that to any passerby, we seem like a couple in deep discussion.

  “You are a stupid fucking girl,” he snarls back. “I gave you everything. I made you my wife! Do you think you are the only woman who has wanted me? The only woman who has had a taste of me? My assistant was very good at sucking my cock during the times you wouldn’t, but I still came home to you. I didn’t run off with her, so it makes no sense whatsoever for you to run off with another man.”

  My eyes stretch wider as I digest the pill of truth he just delivered. My instincts were right. I knew it. He was sleeping around with his assistant Joanna. It shouldn’t bother me, but I wonder how long it’s been going on or when it even started. Was it before we got married or after?

  “You’re a fucking pig,” I spit at him.

  “If you say so, but before you think about bringing that up in court, don’t bother. My lovely assistant has already been told not to say a thing, and there is absolutely no proof that we have done anything together. And even if there was, it’s all been erased.” His jaw flexes. “I am giving you another chance here, Gabs, and you’re willing to throw it all down the drain? Are you forgetting you spread your legs and let another man have what was mine? You started this.” He drops his hand, attempting to grab the sensitive area between my legs, but I duck under his arm and back away as quickly as I can in my heels.

  “Fuck you, you piece of shit!” I shout then I twist around and rush down the hallway.

  As if she heard my voice, Jasinda rounds the corner with knitted brows and wide eyes. She looks at me and then over my shoulder, eyes widening as she sees Kyle standing there.

  “Come on,” she murmurs, wrapping an arm around me and ushering me toward the exit.
“Let’s get you out here.”

  I want to nod, but I can’t, because I’m desperately trying to hold back on the tears that are threatening to fall. He was never happy with me. Knowing he’s been sleeping with his assistant proves that, and all this time I thought he’d been faithful to me, which resulted in enormous waves of guilt.

  “Don’t forget all I’ve done for you, Gabs!” Kyle yells.

  Jasinda stops when she sees Kyle coming after us. “And you, Mr. Moore, should not forget that you are under a restraining order. If you come within one hundred yards of my client again, you will be arrested again, and that will not look good for you at trial.”

  I glance over my shoulder, and Kyle stops walking, lifting his chin. He grimaces at me, jaw clenching, fists tight.

  I snatch my eyes away and leave the courthouse with Jasinda, thankful that he’ll never be able to lay his hands on me again.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Marcel

  I’m glad to know Gabby’s hearing went well, but kind of pissed that she has to be tied to that dipshit for six more months.

  Knowing that he touched her again, and I wasn’t there to protect her, definitely pissed me the fuck off. When she told me, I wanted so badly to go to his house, kick the door in, and hand it to him, but Gabby calmed me down, as usual. She’s good at that, I notice.

  I’m not surprised he had an affair, either. I could see a prick like him messing around behind Gabby’s back, but now that she knows, she’s even more upset and questioning the whole marriage.

  None of it was real. Yes, she knew that, once her father told her about the arrangement, but to know that she’d invested the time in him as a true wife and he never took it seriously is painful to her.

  I can’t blame her for feeling that hurt. No one wants to be used like that—made to feel insignificant. Trust me, I know all about it.

  Several weeks pass, and I do notice her mood changing. At first, I think nothing of it, assuming the stress of the separation is weighing her down.

  But it’s more than that. The spark she had before is gone. As the days go on, she lays around in hoodies and sweatpants, watching TV, and it’s unlike her. She’s usually very outgoing, wanting to take walks or go out for runs, shop or try a new recipe.

  I almost start to wonder if I’m doing something wrong. What can I do to make her happier? Should I buy her chocolates and flowers? Perhaps I’m not doing enough. I’m still getting used to all of this—being in a relationship, that is.

  I remember that I’m not supposed to keep anything from her, so I finally cave after she makes us pasta and ask her what’s going on.

  “Why does something have to be going on with me?” she snaps, and her attitude catches me way off guard.

  “I’m just curious. You’ve been mopin’ around for the last few weeks. Seems like somethin’ is wrong.”

  “It’s just this stupid separation,” she mutters. “Jasinda called today and told me Tom, Kyle’s attorney, has the emails between you and me.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes. He’ll send them to the judge. He’s trying to make me look bad.”

  “Nothing looks as bad as a man hitting a woman.”

  “Yeah, that’s in our world, Marcel, but in court it’s different. What if he requests more time on the separation? I read somewhere that judges can do that if they think the couple can do mediation and work it out.”

  “That won’t happen, though. You have the restraining order, so the judge wouldn’t do that because he’s a threat to you.”

  “Yes, but the order is only until the trial happens. He could easily change his mind.” She uses her fork to fiddle with her food, resting a fist beneath her chin with the other.

  “You just need to take a moment to relax, Gabby.”

  “Oh my God! Please stop telling me to relax, okay?” She drops her fork and pushes out of her chair. “I can’t exactly relax when I don’t know what my future will look like, so stop saying it, Marcel!”

  I frown as I watch her storm to the bedroom, then I push out of my chair too, chasing after her.

  “Gabby, what the fuck is wrong with you? All I’m tryin’ to do is talk you through this shit! What are you gettin’ mad at me for?”

  “Because you keep asking questions, and you keep saying things, and I’m just so fucking sick of all of it! None of this would even be happening if I hadn’t had a damn affair!”

  “Yes the hell it would!” I snap. “Kyle would still be beatin’ your ass, and you’d be pretendin’ nothin’ is goin’ the fuck on! Pardon me for wantin’ to know how you’re feelin’! Next time, I won’t even fuckin’ ask.” I turn away as her mouth drops open, going to the door and grabbing Callie’s leash.

  Callie hears the leash jingle and rushes to me right away, tail wagging. After I’ve clipped it to her collar and grabbed my keys, I open the door, slamming it behind me.

  As I walk Callie, I can’t help wondering if maybe this is all fucking wrong. I love Gabby—trust me, I do—but I don’t know if this is what she really wants. The stress is eating her alive, and I get that. I’d be stressed, too, but people always tell the truth when they’re fed up or angry, and she’s just confessed her truth.

  Maybe she’s not used to being asked about so much going on in her life after being with Kyle, but I’m a different man and she knows that—she knew it since the very first day she met me. I care about her feelings. I want to know what is going on inside her head, unlike him.

  I let out a slow breath, sitting on the curb in front of my house as Callie sniffs around. “Your momma’s fuckin’ crazy,” I mumble when Callie stands on her paws, sniffing my face. “But I love her.”

  Callie sits in front of me. I can tell she’s ready to go inside. We’ve been out here for about thirty minutes, anyway.

  With a sigh, I stand up, but I don’t go in the house. I go to my truck, place Callie in the passenger seat, start the engine, and leave.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Marcel

  When I get back to my house, I walk with Callie to the front door and lock it behind me when I’m inside.

  I check the bedroom for Gabby. She’s not there. When I walk back to the living room, I notice the light for the back porch is on.

  Stepping out, I look to the left, at the patio furniture I have set up out back. Gabby is sitting on one of the chairs, her legs drawn to her chest. Her hair is up in a messy, curly bun, her chin on her knees.

  “Hey,” I murmur. “I got you something.”

  She frowns in my direction. If looks could kill, boy, I’d be dead.

  I hold up three white canvases in one hand, and a pack of paintbrushes in the other.

  Her eyes light up, and then they instantly fill with guilt.

  “I wasn’t sure what kind of paint you used, but I stopped by the bank and took some money out so you can go and get whatever you want.”

  She nods, blinking the tears away. “Thank you.” She pauses. “I thought you left to do something crazy.”

  I give my head a shake, placing the art stuff against the wall of the house. With a long, tired sigh, I take the chair beside hers, and we sit quietly for a moment. She’s staring ahead at the line of trees.

  “I’m sorry,” she finally says, looking my way.

  “Don’t apologize for how you feel.”

  “But I am sorry. I don’t regret being with you, Marcel, I swear.” She reaches for my hand, entwining our fingers.

  “I know you don’t, Gabby.” I give her hand a squeeze. “Trust me. I know all about sayin’ shit I don’t mean. You’re stressed and tired, but this will all be over soon.”

  She bobs her head in agreement, resting her head on my shoulder.

  “Even so, I need you to understand that I’m nothin’ like Kyle, Gabby. I’m not sure how you grew up at home, or if you had to grow up keepin’ all of your thoughts and secrets to yourself, but I didn’t grow up that way. I didn’t become that way until after all of my family died. But as
a family, we all knew that if someone had somethin’ to say, they said it. You are my family now, so if you have somethin’ on your chest, you let it out. Period. Don’t hold that shit back.”

  She peers up at me with glistening eyes.

  “I told you I’m here for you every step of the way, and I mean that. Yeah, some days are hard as fuck, but that will never change the way I feel about you.”

  “Good,” she whispers, “because I can be a bitch sometimes.” She drops her legs with a coy smile and walks my way, sitting on my lap. She curls up to me, the side of her head on my collarbone. “You deserve better than me, Marcel.”

  “No.” My head shakes as I tip her chin. I press a gentle kiss to her lips, and she sighs. “There is no one better than you, little thing.”

  Her eyes sparkle. “Do you think we’re meant to be?”

  “I don’t know. But I know I’m committed. The question is, are you? You were committed to him for so long; it would be understandable if you want to be on your own again for a while.”

  She laughs dryly, shaking her head. “With Kyle, I may as well have been alone. He put effort into winning me, but after the engagement, everything sort of went downhill. I tried to appreciate him, but I think I ended up putting him too high on a pedestal. I made him seem like some god and myself, a measly peasant.”

  “Well it’s not like that anymore. And you’re not a peasant, you are a fuckin’ goddess. You run your own world. Remember that.”

  She wraps her arms around me, drawing in a deep breath and exhaling. I do the same, and we sit here for a while, just like this, the two of us in my backyard, letting the cool breeze dance in our hair.

  “Thank you for the canvases and brushes. I can’t wait to paint. It’ll ease some of the stress for sure.”

  “I figured it would.”

  She hugs me around the neck and kisses my cheek. “I don’t regret this,” she says again. “I really do love you.”

  I smile, sweeping my knuckles over her chin. “I love you, too.”