A South Texas Christmas

by Stella Bagwell

  She shook her head and Neil felt sick as he spotted tears glittering in her eyes.

  “Let’s not think about that now, Neil. This is our night to be happy.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  The next morning Raine felt ill as she moved around the kitchen making coffee. Her head was cracking and though she’d tried to sleep past her regular time to rise, she’d woke far before daylight.

  Neil was consuming her thoughts and she wished he would wake soon and join her for breakfast. She wanted to talk to him, to see for herself that he was past the melancholy mood that had come over him last night after the two of them had made love.

  Once they’d returned to the party, he’d appeared normal for the most part, but Raine could sense a deep change in his mood and she knew something was wrong. All she could think was that he regretted making their relationship physical and the idea tore her heart. Her very soul had poured out of her and into him. Hadn’t he felt it? Did he not want it?

  Trying not to think about those questions, she downed two aspirins and walked outside to the patio with a mug of coffee.

  She was glumly watching the mockingbirds and sipping the greatly needed caffeine when she heard a footfall on the brick floor behind her.

  Glancing over her shoulder, Raine was surprised at the sight of her mother. She was carrying a glass of orange juice and was already dressed as though she were on her way to work.

  Esther dragged up a lawn chair and took a seat next to her daughter.

  “What are you doing up so early this morning, honey? You had a late night. You should have slept in.”

  Raine shrugged one shoulder. “You got to bed late, too. Didn’t Geraldine tell you to come in to work later this morning?”

  Esther nodded. “She did. But I know Cook. She’ll be over there trying to deal with stacks of dirty dishes before the rest of the house ever cracks an eye. God knows if I’m not around, the old woman won’t take care of herself.”

  “I’m glad you’re thinking of her,” Raine replied, then with a heavy sigh took another sip from her mug.

  Esther glanced at her. “You sound exhausted. But that’s not surprising. You and Neil practically lived on the dance floor last night.”

  “The band was great and we were…enjoying ourselves.”

  “Yes, Geraldine sure knows how to throw a party. She must have spent thousands on you. I hope you appreciate the fact.”

  Frowning, Raine looked over at her mother. “I always appreciate everything that Geraldine does for me. As for that matter, I appreciate everyone here on the ranch. Without them I—”

  When her daughter failed to go on, Esther prodded. “Without them what?”

  Raine’s gaze dropped to her feet. She wasn’t in the mood to get into a confrontation with her mother this morning. Neil was the only thing her churning mind wanted to deal with right now.

  “I wouldn’t have any family,” Raine blurted before she could bite the words back.

  Esther stiffened in the lawn chair. “Oh. Well, what does that make me? Just someone you call Mother?” she asked with a measure of sarcasm.

  Closing her eyes, Raine pressed her fingertips against the throbbing that had erupted the moment her feet hit the floor. “I’m sorry you took that in the wrong way. I meant any family other than you, Mother.”

  Esther didn’t respond and after long moments continued to pass in silence, Raine dropped her hands away from her face to glance across at her mother. Her expression was skeptical as she inspected Raine with renewed interest.

  “Okay, what’s wrong?” Esther asked. “I can tell you’re fretting over something.”

  Was her breaking heart that obvious? Raine wondered. She tried her best to smile. “I’m not fretting. I have a headache, that’s all.”

  Esther wasn’t the least bit convinced. She waved her hand in a dismissive gesture. “That’s not the sort of pain I’m seeing on your face. Something is wrong.”

  A heavy sigh passed Raine’s lips. “Mother, please don’t start.”

  The other woman placed her empty juice glass on a table situated between the lawn chairs.

  “It’s Neil, isn’t it?” she asked with a certainty that only made the pain in Raine’s chest thrust even deeper. “Something has happened between the two of you.”

  If Esther had been an understanding mother, Raine might have confided in her. It would be wonderful to lay her head on someone’s shoulder and know that she would receive kind and encouraging words. But Esther wasn’t often guilty of showing a gentle side to anyone. She believed in dishing out strong advice and making sure Raine kept her back straight through thick and thin.

  “I didn’t say that,” Raine replied.

  A grimace tightened the older woman’s face. “You didn’t have to.” With a resigned shake of her head, she lifted her gaze toward the early morning sky. “I knew this was all too good to be true. Whirlwind courtships never last.”

  Raine felt ill and she realized her face was probably as white as the moon blossoms twining up one of the porch posts. “Our courtship wasn’t a whirlwind.” It was more like instant combustion, Raine thought, but she couldn’t explain this to her mother. As far as that went, she couldn’t explain anything. It was all a farce. And the sooner she accepted the fact, the sooner she could get over this misery clouding her heart. But how could she tell herself that the love they’d made in the tack room last night wasn’t real. To her, everything about it had felt right and true.

  “Maybe not. But it was secretive and that’s just as bad. Something is wrong with a man when you can’t bring him around to meet your family and friends.”

  “Neil is here, Mother,” Raine pointed out with exaggerated patience. “And to hear you tell it, there’s something wrong with all men.”

  Esther sniffed. “There’s no need for you to get smart with me. That isn’t going to fix anything.”

  Raine wanted to run off weeping. But she wasn’t a child anymore. Besides that, tears wouldn’t fix the fact that she’d fallen in love with a playboy.

  “I’m sorry, Mother, but my relationship with Neil is my business.”

  Her back ramrod straight, Esther scooted to the edge of the chair. “If he’s causing you misery, then it’s certainly my business. And from the looks of you, that’s exactly what he’s doing.” She quickly rose to her feet and stared down at Raine. “I think I’ll go have a talk with him right now. And if I don’t like what I hear I’m going to send the man packing. Putting an expensive ring on your finger doesn’t make him a saint!”

  It was obvious to Raine that this whole conversation had escalated to ridiculous proportions and for no reason. Still, she couldn’t allow her mother to continue to treat her as a child.

  Rising to her feet, Raine said tightly, “You know, you’re probably right, Mother. Eventually Neil may very well leave me. But at least I’ll have been happy for a while. That’s much more than you can say about yourself. From the time that I was born you’ve buried yourself and refused to live like a normal woman. I don’t intend to follow in your footsteps. No matter how much you try to make me!”

  Esther sucked in a furious breath as scarlet color flooded her face. “See! The man is already causing trouble between us. And—”

  “I have a name, Esther. And before you start accusing me of causing problems, you might want to get your own closet in order.”

  At the sound of Neil’s voice Raine jerked her head around to see him standing a few steps behind them on the patio. Apparently he’d heard at least the end of the conversation between her and her mother. His expression was grim and he was staring at Esther in an odd sort of way. But it was her mother’s reaction that bewildered Raine even more. She was staring at Neil like a rabbit cornered by a snapping dog.

  “What is that supposed to mean?” she asked after several long seconds ticked by.

  Neil stepped forward and took Raine by the arm. “Think about it, Esther.” To Raine, he said soberly, “C’mon. I need to talk to yo
u in private.”

  He led Raine off the patio and into the house. By the time they reached the middle of the kitchen, she had gathered her senses enough to say, “All right. We’re alone. And—”

  “Go put on some jeans and boots. I need to say some things to you and I don’t want to do it here,” he said ruefully. “There’s a spot on the ranch I want us to ride to on horseback.”

  “But we haven’t had breakfast and—”

  He led her out of the kitchen. “That can wait. This is important.”

  She had already sensed that much and his dour manner prevented her from questioning him further. Instead she hurried to her bedroom and dressed in jeans, boots and a pink short-sleeved shirt. After tying the tails at her waist and swiping on a dab of lipstick with a shaky hand, she hurried back out to the living room to find Neil waiting there for her.

  Since her mother was nowhere in sight, she figured she must still be on the patio or had already left for the Saddler house. Raine hoped it was the latter. She couldn’t bear another confrontation with her mother this morning.

  As Neil drove the two of them over to the horse barn, Raine said, “I didn’t know you rode horses.”

  “I grew up around horses. My good friends own a huge ranch and as kids we rode constantly. Nowadays we ride together when we can find the time.”

  “Oh. I guess there’s a lot I don’t know about you.”

  She sounded a little lost and even more sad. The notion pierced his heart, yet he told himself he couldn’t think about that now. If he did, he might just turn the vehicle the other way and drive the two of them straight off the ranch to a place where no one or nothing could come between them. But there wasn’t such a place, he realized. After a while reality would intervene, their lives would have to go on and he would have to tell her about Esther.

  Giving her the best smile he could, he said, “You’re learning.”

  At the horse barn, two stable boys quickly saddled a couple of trusted geldings and after they’d mounted up, Neil urged Raine to join him in a northerly direction. He realized that the beaten-down track could have been covered in a vehicle, but he’d needed the fresh air and slower pace to help prepare him for the distasteful job ahead of him.

  For ten minutes they rode in silence and then he saw the tree up ahead. A massive live oak with branches so old and heavy that in some places the crooked arms rested upon the ground. Lex and Matteo had told him about the tree and that it shaded the family burial grounds.

  A frown marred Raine’s forehead as she stood in her stirrups and peered up ahead of them. “We’re headed toward the Sandbur cemetery. Is that where we’re going?”

  Neil nodded soberly. “There’s something there I want to show you. It will help explain what I have to say.”

  The lines of confusion deepened on her face. “I don’t understand. This is crazy, Neil. You hurried me away from the house as though there was some sort of emergency. We could have ridden out here anytime.”

  Anytime. The word implied that the two of them had the rest of their lives to spend together and a huge part of him wished it could be so. But that wary side of him, the side that had kept him safely cocooned for many long years was screaming it didn’t want to hear anything about love or forever.

  “I know. Just bear with me, honey.”

  The horses were traveling at a brisk walk and in less than five minutes they had reached a small private cemetery surrounded by a low fence made of scrolled iron.

  After dismounting his own horse, Neil helped Raine to the ground. For a moment, as she stood in the loose circle of his arms, Neil wanted to forgo his mission and simply lower his head and kiss her. But he realized one kiss would never be enough and the two of them would wind up making love again. And once that happened he’d never be able to tell her that she was really an heiress and that her mother had more than likely been deceiving her for years.

  “How did you know how to find this place?” Raine asked as he guided her over to the fence.

  The tree provided such a dense shade that the air was much cooler beneath it. Raine slipped the hat from her head and ran a hand through her mussed hair.

  “Lex and Matteo told me. Last night, before the dancing started, we were talking about our fathers and one thing led to another.” He looked down at her. “Do you come here often?”

  Raine shook her head. “No. It makes me too sad. I loved Paul and Elizabeth. I don’t like to be reminded that they’re gone. As for the others that went years before, I’m too young to have known them.”

  The name Ketchum was carved into each headstone and Neil pointed to the one resting over Nate’s grave before turning his gaze back on her. “Raine, last night I discovered something that—it’s incredible really. And I suppose I should have told you last night. But there was our party and I wanted you to enjoy it. And frankly, I needed some time to absorb the truth myself. I’m still not sure I’ve taken it all in yet.”

  Her features wrinkled with confusion as her head slowly turned from one side to the other. “I’m not understanding anything you’re saying, Neil. Is this something about us? About us—being together?”

  He realized she meant the two of them making love and he could only groan in response and draw her into his arms.

  “Oh, no, honey. That was—wonderful. Too wonderful.” He smoothed his hand over the top of her hair, then bent his head and kissed the shiny crown. “This is about your mother.”

  Instantly her head tilted back so that she could look at him. “Neil, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what you heard her saying about you, but—”

  “No, Raine. It’s not about this morning. That’s not important. What I’m trying to tell you is that I—I’ve discovered something about your mother’s past.”

  Her eyes rounded with shock. “How? What?”

  With his hand on her shoulder, he turned her slightly so that she was facing the cemetery. “See the family name. Ketchum. That’s really Esther’s name, too. Not Crockett.”

  She stared up at him in stunned silence until she was eventually able to stutter. “Wh-aat?”

  Nodding soberly, he said, “Look, Raine, up until now I haven’t told you who my client was back in New Mexico. There was no need and I respect his privacy. But now everything has changed. I have to tell you who my client is so that this will somehow all make sense.” His hand slid to her upper arm and he guided her toward one of the park benches positioned a short distance away from the graveyard. “Let’s sit down while I try to explain.”

  Once the two of them were sitting side by side, Raine reached for his hand and clutched it tightly. “Neil, this is—there’s no way. My mother can’t be a Ketchum. Everyone here would have known it.”

  Neil shook his head. “Not necessarily. You see, they apparently don’t know about the New Mexico Ketchums. One of whom is Linc Ketchum, my client and dear friend. His mother was married to Randolf Ketchum. Shortly after he died she married Jaycee Carlton. They left the area and Linc only heard from her once or twice before the contact ended entirely.”

  Her expression took on a look of wonder. “But couldn’t the name be just a coincidence? Who’s to say these Ketchums are even related to your friends?”

  He drew in a bracing breath. “Because I happen to know that Randolf and his brother Tucker had family somewhere here in Texas in the San Antonio area, but many years ago there was a rift that spilt them apart. I don’t know all the details, but it’s obvious to me that Geraldine and her late sister, Elizabeth, are the two men’s sisters.”

  Raine literally began to shake as though a northerner had just blown across the ranch and was chilling her straight to the bone. “How—how can we know for sure, Neil? I’m not sure how Geraldine and the rest of the family will take all this!”

  He cupped his hand gently against the side of her face and Raine wanted to simply fall against his chest and huddle to the warmth of his body.

  “We’re not going to approach Geraldine about this yet. We’re goi
ng straight to your mother.”

  Raine’s green eyes swept over and over his face as she tried to digest the meaning of his words. “How could she know? She had amnesia and—”

  Groaning softly, he stroked his fingers along her cheek. “Raine, my little darling, think. It’s too much of a coincidence. She came here knowing these people were her in-laws.”

  The implication that her mother had been lying all these years hit her like a fist and she slapped a hand against her stomach as pain radiated through her. “But why? And why would she pretend? Why would she let me think that she didn’t know who my father was? Why would she try to stop me from finding him? Why—”

  The questions stopped as hot tears began to spill from her eyes and Neil quickly folded her into his arms.

  “Don’t cry, Raine. We have to go back now. And I want you to be strong when we face your mother. Can you do that?”

  Slowly Raine eased away from him and looked grimly toward the tombstones. Was that her family lying there, she wondered? She had to know the truth once and for all.

  Back at the ranch, they discovered Esther at the Saddler house. She was still helping Cook contend with the leftover party mess. When the woman first spotted Raine and Neil entering the kitchen she appeared surprised, but then she quickly assumed the two of them had come over to the big house in search of a meal.

  “You two decided you didn’t want to make your own breakfast this morning?” Esther asked.

  Cook, who was washing dishes at the deep double sink, said to Esther, “I’ll cook them some hotcakes. You take over here.”

  “Don’t bother, Cook. We’re here to see Mother.” Raine stepped toward Esther and marveled at the fact that she could stand, much less speak. Her whole body was trembling and she kept wondering if she was actually in some sort of nightmare from which she couldn’t wake. “Uh, could you come outside with us, Mother?”

  Esther glanced from her daughter’s strained face to Neil’s grim expression. “I’m busy here. Why don’t you come back in about an hour or so,” she suggested.