Love and The Liffey

by Sarah Beth James

  “Are we going into Temple Bar?” she asked.

  I nodded.

  “A few minutes’ walk won’t kill me,” she promised.

  “If ye get cold, you can have my coat,” I promised.

  “Aww so sweet. Such a proper gentleman.”

  “I’ll give youse proper gentleman!” I chased her around the room until I caught her for a kiss. “And anyway, English, we wouldn’t want you to catch your death and have ye walking the streets of Temple Bar for all eternity.”

  “I would be insulted if you weren’t so damn cute!”

  “Cute huh?” I warned. “Perhaps we should just stay home?”

  “A bit overdressed for a movie night, don’t you think?”

  I sighed. “It is true. Come on, English. Use that parasol of yours to keep the rain off us. In fact, give it here, you are too short. The rain will drip down my neck still.”

  “I’m just the right height to slap you.”

  “In what? The kneecaps?” I retorted. Earning a well-deserved slap in the rib cage, I continued, “Are you standing on a box? And still ye can only reach my nipples?”

  She slapped me again, harder this time.

  “Oh, sweet Mina Murray, you steal my heart and yet still you abuse my body. What am I to do with you?”

  “Put up with it.”

  “Oh, of course, you wait until I get you home tonight.”

  “Home? We haven’t even left yet!”

  “Be glad I am permitting you to leave and not just putting you over my knee and spanking ye for your unruly natures.”

  “Promises, promises! Given that, according to you, I can only reach your nipples. Perhaps I should do something about that!”

  Oh, that was it! We were about to be extremely late for this night out!

  Chapter 10

  Adrian’s POV

  I had my arm around Miss Lily’s waist, the soft motions of the Dart train rocking me almost back to sleep as we rode from Dublin to Malahide. Last night was amazing, once we finally made it out of the bedroom. Lily was so enthralled at the busy streets, the diverse selection of costumed patrons filling each and every bar. The back-street bars would have been quieter, more laid back, however I wanted her to enjoy the full-on tourist version of tonight. Perhaps, next year I could show her a more intimate celebration? Next year? Was I really thinking about that already? What was this girl doing to me?

  The other thing that had seemed to both surprise and thrill the girl was the back the bars still had live bands playing at two am. I wondered idly what English bars were like during the festival? They sounded rather dull, honestly. My head pounded after a few too many glasses of whisky last night, and certainly far too few hours’ sleep as we had continued our little Dracula tempting Miss Murray roleplay when we returned to the flat. How Lily looked so fresh, I had no idea, when I felt like death. I was used to some serious rock and roll binges, but even I met my limit of partying this week and she looked like she could still go a few more nights without stopping.

  As we bumped into the station, my eyes flew open again. “I need caffeine,” I mumbled, heading to a church coffee shop near the station. Fetching them both hot drinks and muffins. When I came back out, I saw Lily exploring street signs with her usual curiosity.

  “Harbour, there’s a harbour?”” she asked. “Is there a beach for sketching as well?”

  I groaned. I should have realised where she would want to go first, and I was seriously too hungover for this shit. “Lil, we are meant to be going to sketch at the castle or at least ye are, while I get some sleep. The fairy-tale tower, remember?”

  “Can’t we do both?” she pouted.

  “How are ye not hanging like hell right now?” I grouched.

  She pouted again.

  I was doomed.

  “Come on, English, Lets go die of hypothermia because YOU want to go to the beach in fucking winter.”

  She sighed and followed me silently as we skirted through the edge of the town to the harbour. I automatically passed her my phone so she could take photos to sketch from later on. I was sure I had a spare laptop lurking around the loft somewhere that she could keep uploading the photos to and work from. Safe to keep sharing the same phone. Or I could just buy her a phone, but I doubted she would want a way that man could contact her again.

  As we walked over the sand dunes, I heard her exclaim from the sheer beauty of the view. It was like I was seeing it all over again, fresh and new from her point of view. The pure magic of the faint mist hanging over the sea. I kissed her cheek. “Sorry I am such a grouch today.”

  She shrugged like it was no big deal, but I knew it hurt her. I was starting to tell her little traits when she was lying or semi lying about things. “You brought me to a wonderful place, that makes up for it.”

  Yeah, it really didn’t, not with the tense way she was holding her body since we set off. I figured I set off a bad memory. “Ye ain’t staying too long, I am not nursing youse when ye end up with a fever, mind.”

  “I just need a few pictures, promise.”

  “Take a muffin with you,” I warned, holding the bag out. She nodded when she took one before I settled down on a cold sand dune to eat myself, hoping it would stop my head pounding at least a little. Watching as she took notes, and photos. She was beautiful even when she was making me do crazy things. Like walking on a beach in November. Perhaps it was the craziness that attracted me to her so much.

  “English,” I shouted, “time to go, it’s far too cold to be out here in such an exposed spot.”

  “Five more minutes,” she shouted back.

  I rolled my eyes, getting up, brushing the sand from my jeans. I walked over to her. “English, come on, please, ye have enough pictures. I do not want you to get sick.” I wrapped my arms around her waist. “I can bring youse again when the weather is warmer, please.”

  She relented, following me back along the long road towards the castle. My arm around her the whole time. I could smell the vague scent of liquor on her breath. No wonder she wasn’t hungover, she was existing in a hair of the dog moment. How had I not noticed when I kissed her earlier? I hadn’t even seen her take a drink. She must have a hip flask hidden somewhere, as well as the long term learned skills of hiding her habit. Her ex fucked her up even more than I had first thought.

  The rest of the afternoon was perfectly pleasant. A tour of the castle, the tale of a circus performer that had died of a broken heart, a lazy late lunch in the café before exploring the butterfly house. The posed photos at the tower as the sun set that even I had been convinced to jump into to have a selfie of us together. It was all so breathtakingly romantic, even though I hadn’t quite planned it that way. I could tell she felt it too. That sparkle in her eyes as she kissed me on the Dart home. She was broken in so many ways, then again, so was I. Perhaps two broken people could make each other whole again?

  I kissed her cheek, excusing myself to spend an evening taking interviews at the studio. Making sure before I left that she had plenty of food in the house, whatever she wanted. I was distracted through the whole evening away from Lily. Thinking about her secret and not so secret drinking problems. I would have to watch that very carefully if I wanted to keep her safe. And I knew I did.

  Exhausted, I trudged back to the flat, hoping she was okay or at least as okay as she could be. My phone rang and I dragged it out my jacket pocket, panicking it was her with a problem even though I knew that she had no phone. A withheld number, this wasn’t good. “What?” I snapped. Was she alive? Or dead at the bottom of the river?

  Oh great, it was the ex. Screaming more shit that I wasn’t in the mood for.

  “Look, I told ye before, I ain’t letting you nowhere near that girl. You have done enough, now damn well pay her what she deserves for that art or find your nudes turning up as the front cover of every single newspaper I can get my hands on! You have a fortnight, make ye damn choice, asshole. I have no problem with publicly humiliating you.”

&nb
sp; I slammed the call end button, staring, breathing heavily as I stared at the ink depths of the Liffey. I suddenly understood why Lily threw her phone in the waters. I was getting so damn close right now. Just to get away from that fucking asshole once again. I swore to myself that I would never get sucked into the man’s dramas after the last few times and, yet again, here I was in the middle of all that garbage. That man was fucking toxic, there was no other way of looking at it. He destroyed everything and everyone that he touched.

  I slammed into the apartment, opened a bottle of whisky, and drank it straight from the bottle until I stopped shaking. I glanced around, looking for the girl, finding Lily passed out on the sofa, an empty bottle beside her. Yeah, this was one hundred percent something he needed to fix and soon. Maybe offering her a job would help? Give her something to keep her busy, and not think about the asshole as well as give her some money of her own? A little independence.

  Or was it just because I wanted to see a lot more of her?

  I really should get out before I fell any deeper for her. It had every chance of breaking me if I continued this, and yet every single chance of healing me as well. Sighing, I took my damp jacket off and laid it over her sleeping form before taking the bottle of whisky to bed with me. Half thinking as I went, that I really did not have the right to judge her binges when that man messed me up just as badly.

  Maybe tomorrow things would make sense again.

  They couldn’t really get worse, could they?

  And there I was, stupidly tempting fate to fuck me in the ass without any lube.

  Chapter 11

  Adrian’s POV

  I had to be up early that next morning for radio interviews, not easy with yet another crushing hangover. Lily was still sleeping peacefully on the sofa, I missed her being in our bed. Since when had it started to feel like ‘our’ bed? I hardly even knew her, and still I felt more drawn to her than any lover in my entire existence. Not just because she needed help. There was something about her, a spark, a light; it was hard to put it into words. But even as broken and hurting as she was, this girl was special. She was going to be someone one day, maybe even bigger than I was. Even when she messed around singing, she had the voice of an angel and so much natural talent. If only she could start realising it about herself!

  Even without considering her amazing skills at drawing, I knew that I could point her to a good future when she was ready. I wanted to ask her to design the cover on the upcoming album now I knew how skilled she was. She would need to trust me far more first, so she wouldn’t think I would screw her over for royalty like that other asshole. There were a number of more abusive texts on my phone from the bastard, that I would forward to Brad as part of the ongoing case of harassment against them both. ‘Pay her, and do it right and the photos get burned, your choice.’ So, what if I got done for blackmail, I could afford the court case. He however could probably not, given the way his last album barely broke the top five hundred and faded away almost as quickly as it arrived. He had to be existing on the credit he had and his savings to keep up the high lifestyle he was used to living and that his parasites were attuned to.

  The morning went by far too slowly, agonisingly so. Not only was I angry about that man, my head was pounding, and I just wanted to get home to Lily and take her shopping. The interviews asked the same old boring questions. Always about my personal life. Who was I dating? Was I gay? When could they expect me to settle down and have children? Wasn’t I worried about being an older single man in the music trade?

  Older? I was thirty-four on my next birthday, hardly over the hill!

  It was nothing to do with the music for most of the day, never about the music. Why couldn’t they just finally understand that my personal life was personal? Not open to the front pages of every single paper on the planet! The amount of relationships I lost due to the vile lies spread in the media. The number of good friends who believed the lies. I loved my job, but the damn drama of social media and the press was soul destroying. An endless source of frustration to me when I was trying to move my personal life forward and separate from the band and my work. I swore to myself again that I would completely control what the press knew about any future relationships, or even potential ones like Lily. I would not lose anyone else to the games of fame. And certainly not her. She got dragged far too deep into this hellish underbelly already. I couldn’t spare her from what she already saw, but I could try to protect her from seeing any more of it. Even if it killed me and today these tedious meetings felt like they might. Watching the minutes tick by on the clock across from me until I could go meet Lily for a late lunch. I hoped she saw the note I had left for her when I rushed out the house.

  I rushed out of the studio and into a waiting taxi, even the few minutes across town felt like eternity. I needed to be back with her. Staring around the restaurant until I spied her sat in the corner of the room, nursing a pint of cider. Wearing one of my sweaters, dwarfing her small frame. Even baggy on her it still showed all her curves in just the right ways.

  “Hey, English,” I said sitting down. “Did ye have a nice morning shopping?” I nodded towards a cloth bag next to her with books. “You found the local bookstore then?”

  Lily nodded. “I found more than one, I wanted to read more about the hauntings in town after the ghost walk.”

  I flicked through the small stack of books, ghost stories, fables, folk tales. “Youse certainly have a lot of reading to do.”

  She glanced back down at the pile a little guiltily. “Sorry, you did leave me your card and said to treat myself. I can take them all back.”

  I pulled her into an embrace. “No, darling, that was not a dig at you spending my money. You can take all of it, I don’t mind. I just didn’t realise how much you enjoy reading. I guess I don’t really know that much about ye.”

  The waiter came and we ordered pasta; he left politely not wanting to interrupt our conversations.

  “Why don’t ye tell me about yeself? What are your passions? What do youse or did you do for work?” I asked.

  Lily busied herself putting the books back into her bag. “There isn’t much to know: my parents disowned me; they didn’t approve of my life choices. They wanted me to stay at home and be my father’s carer for the rest of my life. Give up everything, my singing, my art, my life. I couldn’t do it.” She took a deep breath, “Funny, I left them to not be put in a cage and I ended up being in one anyway with him.”

  I nodded. “I don’t have any family either, my parents died in a car crash when I was twenty. My older brother did not approve of me being in a band. The band now is the only family I have and the best I ever had. I can get ye a job on tour if you like. We always need runners and crew. It might be boring work, but at least think about it.”

  She nodded.

  They ate the rest of the meal in awkward silence before I es courted her outside. “So, clothes? We need to get you some, as much as I don’t mind ye borrowing mine. I am sure you would prefer something that fits you.”

  “I can’t just keep on taking your money,” Lily objected. “You have been more than kind already.”

  I sighed; I really was too tired for this insecurity from her ex calling her a gold digger. “Look, as much as I understand where your hesitation is coming from to accept my help, I am not him! I never will be him, and I just wish youse could understand that! What I’m doing for ye now was done for me by someone who believed in me when I was twenty and had nothing to my name other than the clothes I wore. After my parents died, I lost the house, I was sleeping on the streets and someone was kind enough to take me in. Gave me the apartment that ye are staying in. I am just trying to pay it forward. I know you have no home, no job and little left. I paid your debts off to give you a fresh start. Like I was given. So, take it or leave it, but seriously, stop treating me like I am a monster who is going to abuse you at any moment. I will not stand for that! I am not here for sex; even though the sex with you is pretty fucking ama
zing. I ask nothing of you. I would like us to be friends and if ye want to keep having sex that’s fine by me. If ye don’t want to have sex, that is fine too! Because youse are the most amazing, beautiful, kind and gifted woman I have ever known. If ye want more than friends, maybe in time we could have that too. But if ye want none of that, then just take the money I put in your account and fucking go. Don’t play with my heart and my friendship like he played with you. Make your damn mind up, English.”

  They stood staring at each other for a few long minutes, Lily looking like she wanted to bolt away.

  “Fuck this shit, I am going to work. I will talk to youse later.” I stormed off back to the studio leaving Lily alone with her thoughts.

  Chapter 12