Love and The Liffey

by Sarah Beth James

  Harry had to hold me back before I hit the jerk a second time, giving the press even more to buzz over. “Dude, he isn’t worth it, and we have to get on stage,” he warned.

  “Oh, it would be worth it,” I muttered under my breath, but I let Harry pull us both away. Thank God that Shelly wasn’t here tonight, too busy sorting out the tour. Or she would have killed the guy.

  As we left, security stepped in to speak to her ex. I was still spitting angry, storming up and down the shared dressing room, sucking on a bottle of whisky as I shouted down the phone to my legal team to deal with it all, as Brad made his own calls. This would end and soon. That man would not be allowed to keep harassing her.

  Lily sat quietly in the corner of the dressing room sipping at her own extraordinarily strong drink looking a tad shell shocked from everything. “I can’t believe he would say all of that in public,” she muttered to Rose as she was hugging her.

  “Well, you wait until Shelly hears. She will deal with it if I don’t slap him first,” Rose promised.

  “I know this is not a great moment, but two-minute call people,” Brad shouted over the noise in the room.

  I disconnected the call knowing exactly what we needed to do now. I held my hand out to Lily. “Come on, English, let’s go blow his socks off. About time he saw what he was giving up.”

  “Huh?”

  “Darling, we are gonna tear up that stage together. Screw our plans, let’s debut your song here tonight. Me and you, just like in rehearsals.”

  “It would piss that dude off,” Harry commented.

  “We aren’t ready, you said that,” Lily objected.

  “I changed my mind.”

  “Adrian, there isn’t time to talk about this,” she tried.

  I rolled my eyes. “Band, are we in or out on this?”

  Everyone responded with “in.”

  “So, are we doing this, Lil?” I asked.

  Lily took the bottle of whisky off him, taking a long drink to steady her nerves. “Okay, let’s go.”

  “Welcome to the band,” I smiled, kissing her cheek.

  “Move it people. I don’t care what song you do, just get out there now,” Brad shouted.

  I took her hand as we walked out into the spotlight together for the first time.

  Chapter 22

  Lily’s POV

  I sat in the waiting room of the legal office with Adrian fiddling with a cup. I was so distracted I hadn’t even noticed I had picked up the wrong cup. Barely even noticing when Adrian swapped their cups for my hot chocolate instead of the stronger coffee I hated. I did not want to be here. I did not want to face that man again, even if it meant resolving this permanently. I just wanted all of this over. To hide somewhere, away from every human, I knew. To decompress from everything that had happened the night before. Singing with Adrian, it barely even felt real yet. That he was trying to give me the life my ex had always refused me saying I wasn’t good enough. I hadn’t even dared look at social media to see what was being said about the performance or the fights with my ex.

  “Ye can do this darling; you can face him. I am here for you. I am not leaving,” Adrian promised me as we sat there.

  I stared at a bland magazine laying open on my lap not really noticing anything on the page. Otherwise I am quite sure he would have been teasing me for looking at a male enhancement advert. He certainly did not need anything of the sort. He was perfectly sized to keep me more than happy.

  “I’m not worried about facing him. I am worried about killing him after all he has done.” I sighed.

  Adrian squeezed my hand. “If you do, make sure it isn’t caught on camera and give me at least half an hour to have an alibi prepared. Although knowing Rose and Shelly, they probably have a list prepared.”

  We were called in; I led the way, knowing Ade was right behind me. “I am not doing this if that creature is in the room with us,” I said firmly frizzing in the doorway noticing the blonde man holding my ex’s hand.

  “Yeah, well. I can bring any legal aid that I like. So, fuck you bitch,” the ex-snapped, pointedly staring me out.

  Adrian joined me in the doorway, checking the room out. Both our legal aids were there, the ex and this blonde man with a very smug look on his face. A kid that barely looked eighteen, long hair in a ponytail, black jeans and a very noticeably vacant space where a shirt should be covering his chest. “Who is that?” he whispered in my ear.

  “The douchebag who ruined both our relationship and then our friendship when they started screwing just a month after we broke up. Dragging us into years of fighting, abuse and hate. Calling me crazy, a homewrecker, gold digger and a million other foul things. He was the reason that I threw my phone in the Liffey. The messages he kept sending me, but denying it was him. Even though he was the only other person to have my number. Every single time, the ex believed him over me,” I said back to him. Allowing the taller frame of my new boyfriend shelter me a little from the room.

  “You shouldn’t have touched what was mine, bitch, then I wouldn’t have hurt you,” the blonde snarled. “He was never yours to take or have. He was always mine and always will be. Whatever you think.” Pointedly grabbing my ex to give him a kiss that would be too x-rated for most porn videos. I almost expected them to start going at it on the desk in front of us all. It wouldn’t be the first time they did without caring who else was there. Most times I tried to hang out with them, they started to have sex in front of me to make me leave. Even when they invited me to be there.

  Adrian pushed me further out of the door behind him. “Ye watch your mouth, or the next legal case will be against you. I am sure that the phone records will be easy enough to find. Bullying someone and telling them to kill themselves is a crime. One with heavy jail time.”

  “Enough now, sit down and we can settle this like adults out of court,” our legal aid insisted.

  Their lawyer nodded, confirming this. “This is a pretty simple out of court deal. My client is willing to pay you a million dollars for your silence on the matters of last night. As a one-off lump sum. There will be no further contact between any of the parties involved. A restraining order will be placed on both sides. My client admits no blame in this matter, nor does he ask you to. This will be a clean break for you both. At events you are forced to share, there is only a basic level of politeness requested from both sides. Anything else from either side will result in full legal action up to and including court action.”

  Our legal aid looked through the paperwork. “This is a good deal; you should take it.”

  Adrian shook his head. “No, Lily deserves more than that. He wants to share the blame instead of admitting his faults. That is just not good enough.”

  “I refuse to offer that bitch any more than tha,.” the monster snapped. “She should be damn grateful to be getting anything after all she has done.”

  “Youse should be grateful that I don’t haul your ass to jail on assault charges, slander and a million other charges,” Adrian retorted.

  “She is lucky I don’t beat her fat, ugly ass until she admits her sins,” the blonde sneered.

  “Enough!” I screamed, silencing the endless bickering. I snatched a pen off of the table signing the papers, before throwing the pen back down. It clattered to the floor, forgotten. I watched as the cash was instantly sent to my bank account on the laptop our lawyer had.

  “And it is over, lady and gentlemen, please shake hands and part,” their lawyer requested.

  “Why did ye do that?” Ade demanded. “You know ye deserved better.”

  “So I never have to see either of them again. I need closure. We need closure for our relationship to work. I want to move on without always having to look over my shoulder for them. I want to be free!” I snapped.

  “Free to gold dig from someone else like the little whore you are,” the blonde snapped. “Come lover, time we were away from this toxic trash.” He spat at her feet.

  I stared at my ex. “You liter
ally just signed to stop the trash insults and he is at it again a split second later. Have you nothing to say about it?”

  The monster stood slowly, staring back at me. “Yeah I do have something to say. Go fuck someone else for money and leave us alone. You dirty, disgusting, filthy, money grabbing piece of shit. I hope you die slowly and painfully from STDs.” He swayed a little as he swigged from a hip flask.

  Their lawyer sighed. “Please shut up, this meeting is recorded. You are giving them all the evidence they need to have you locked up for harassment!”

  “I don’t care, I want the whole world to know what trash she really is. I should tell the whole media. Book me some interviews today!”

  “Oh God,” their lawyer muttered to himself.

  Our lawyer smiled broadly. “On camera, in front of witnesses, your client is in breach of an agreement signed just moments ago. I can assure you that we will be looking for an extremely large fee.”

  “No, I do not want his money,” I answered calmly.

  “Ye don’t?” Ade asked confused.

  “No,” I said more firmly. “This is not about money and never has been. The money I have been gifted will go to help kids in the arts. What I demand is that he goes to rehab and stays there until he is better with no contact from his boyfriend at all. He was a good man until he was fucked up by this person and the addictions he brought into his life. I got my friend clean for a long time before he started up again, taking drugs around him, tempting him into them constantly. It is that or jail. Those are my terms.”

  “We agree to those terms,” their lawyer answered.

  “I do not,” the monster stated, “and I am the only one who matters.”

  “Your management says otherwise, sir.”

  The monster turned on me. “All this because you couldn’t handle that I didn’t want to be with a woman anymore.”

  I stared at him. “No dear. All this because you didn’t have room for one in your life as a friend in between your fame, addictions and bed warmers. I always knew you were ‘open minded’ what gender shared your bed. I only objected when you started demanding I allow you a man on the side while we dated. You know I do not share.”

  The monster had one last trick to play, a little revenge for our win here today. He smiled evilly over at Adrian. “You love that man? You trust him? Do you think he is better than me? He is just as fucked up and evil as you think I am.”

  “He is nothing like you!”

  “Oh really? Then I am sure he told you all about why he was at the Liffey that day? The reason he found you. He was there at the meetings during your little drama lama fights. He heard every dirty little trick you used against me for attention. He only came after you out of pity. I told him not to bother, you weren’t worth saving. Pity is the only reason he dates you. He just doesn’t want to live with your suicide on his mind.” The monster laughed at me. “None of what you are seeing is love. It is just him not wanting to feel guilty after you die.”

  I squared up to him. “I know, I always have. He told me straight away, we talked and moved passed it all. To a love that is pure and sweet, and actually real unlike anything you ever gave me. Unlike everything you are still giving out to others.”

  He was finally left, speechless, as I turned on my heel and left. I didn’t want to be anywhere near any of them anymore.

  Adrian caught up with me before I got outside. “Lil, we need to talk.”

  I shrugged off his touch. “Is it true? What he said?”

  Ade sighed. “I was at the meetings, I did see how he treated youse for all those months. I did come to find you because I was worried and concerned about your wellbeing after it all. What he did to you was wrong. Youse didn’t deserve any of it. He just lashed out at ye because the collab we were working on wasn’t going well and his manager was riding him over it. Yes, what he said is how we started and met. But then I got to know ye, fell in love with ye and, hell, I want to marry you one day if you will have me.” He pulled the ring box out of his pocket.

  I pushed him away. “I can’t even look at you. You disgust me. You used me and played me just like him. Don’t come after me, don’t come near me. Just leave me alone, freak!”

  Chapter 23

  Adrian’s POV

  I sat in my hotel room, the contents of the empty mini bar all over the floor. Drunk dialling her computer for the millionth time. The call disconnected instantly. Lily, darling, please let me make this right. I love you, I text. No reply, although the message showed as ‘read’. This was hopeless, months passing and still no reply. Part of me wanted to give up, find someone to fuck and forget about her. But then, I would be no better than him. No better than what she thought of me.

  I dragged myself up; I was out of booze so I would have to head to the hotel bar for another fix. Keep trying to drink away everything I feel. Several double whiskys later, barely able to see straight, one of the band came over to talk to me. “Hey dude, let’s get smashed!” I said more cheerily than I felt.

  “You already are smashed,” Callum commented, ordering his own drink. “Still no word from English?” His eyes took in the rumbled clothing of his boss.

  “It’s been months man, it’s like she has completely disappeared.”

  “Do you blame her? Do you honestly blame her? You know her past; you know better than anyone what that man did to her. Hell, you even knew the whole time you dated her that it would blow up in your face and the band’s. Yet, you still didn’t tell her the truth. Dude, Ilu, but you fucked with that girl’s head. We are mates, band members and it is my duty to tell you this straight.” He swigged from his drink, ordering me another when he saw my glass was again empty. “You fucked this up big time. Lily may never forgive you, but if you don’t die still trying to gain her forgiveness, then you ain’t the man I thought you were. Think about that, or just drink yourself out of that bar stool. I really don’t care. Me and Harry have been talking you down long enough. Do something productive instead of just drinking night after night.” Callum nodded goodnight to me and left me with my thoughts.

  Hurt, I bought another bottle of whisky at the bar and headed back to my room. My mind was haunted by what my friend said. It was my fault; I messed up everything. I hid so much, so scared to lose her. The one bright shining light in my life. That I had lost her anyway. Callum was right, I needed to fight and keep on fighting. I couldn’t give up on Lily, she deserved all of me. Not just the mask I was letting her see into. I might have to admit to more things than I wanted to, but so be it if that’s what it took to get back my soul mate.

  This time the call was answered, even if she didn’t speak. “Lily, I am sorry. I love you. I am going to make this right. Just tell me what ye need.”

  She hung up on me without answering the question. Perhaps she hadn’t even realised that she picked up the call while she was typing away. I knew I would fight now and keep fighting until I fixed everything. Even if she walked away afterwards, that was okay. As long as I managed to resolve this bullshit that was between us so she could heal, even if I couldn’t.

  Chapter 24

  Lily’s POV

  Scarborough beach front

  I sat on the sands of North Bay watching kids play in the ocean as a long-forgotten sketch book lay open on my lap. My computer blinked with more missed messages; I still didn’t have a phone. I doubted I ever would, although I hoped that the Wi-Fi dongle wasn’t strong enough to pick up a signal all the way out here. Honestly, I forgot the darn thing was even in my bag. I was so used to carrying a heavy bag, I never bothered to unpack it anymore. I tried to ignore the chimes, as I tried to ignore the whole world around me. My universe was shattered now, another man had broken me. Yet another trust had been earned only to prove that giving it to anyone was worthless.

  I wondered why I even bothered giving my heart away when it only ever got broken. I had money, some from my ex and the owed royalty finally, some from Ade and some from working with the band. If I lived careful
ly, I wouldn’t have to work for an exceptionally long time if ever again. I thought about just going traveling, running away from everything for a while. Keep on moving, so my own feelings couldn’t catch up with me. It would be harder for any of them to find me if I didn’t stay in one place too long.

  I headed back up to the edge of town, grabbing a coffee as I walked through the park, the computer rang again. Frustrated, I pulled the machine out thinking about smashing it, stopping when I saw who the caller ID was. “Harry, are you doing his bloody dirty work now? Leave me alone, all of you!”

  “Lil, I am not here for Ade, fuck Adrian, he is a damned fool that only has himself to blame. I am worried about my little adopted baby sis.”

  I sighed. “I’m semi drunk, at a beach, trying to sketch wishing I were fully drunk. What more do you want from me?”