CHAPTER THREE
In a million years, Mike would have never thought his life would make a complete about-face in just a matter of hours.
The morning after the wedding, he walked down the hallway that led to his bedroom at the Widow Maker Ranch, STEALTH’s headquarters, and he peered through the crack in the door. Summer was stretched out across his bed as if she owned the place. Her dark hair was haloed around her head and her arms were up, giving her a look as if she was floating in a pool of water.
He had always loved to watch her sleep. She was serene and, for once in her life, she looked at peace with the world around her.
With Joe in the picture now, he couldn’t help but wonder when was the last time she had actually had a good night’s sleep.
Learning about Joe had been a gut punch. He wanted to be angry at her for not telling him sooner about the baby, but he couldn’t be...not when he thought of all the phone calls he had gotten from her, phone calls he had sent straight to voice mail. This wasn’t her fault. He was the jerk, the weaker one, because he couldn’t face her. This was on him. And now he was going to have to make things right. At the very least, he would try.
He had already missed seeing the ultrasound and hearing the baby’s heartbeat for the first time. He had missed holding Summer’s hand while she went to her prenatal appointments and learned about the sex of the baby. He had missed watching his son come into the world and take his first breath. More, he had missed supporting the woman he had once pledged his life.
Though things had gone well between them last night. They had spent the night dancing and laughing during wedding—his cousin Savannah had been even more wild than he’d anticipated, getting up on the wedding party’s table at one point—but the night had ended with him pouring Summer into his bed and her whispering a series of simple words that he would never forget. “I’ll never forgive you. You left me... Us.”
No doubt, she wouldn’t recall what she had told him, but he would. Beer had been the truth serum that had unlocked what had been hidden in her heart.
If he had a choice, he would vow to never leave her adrift again. No matter what she or Joe needed, he would provide it; all while keeping his heart out of the mix. Old feelings would complicate things, open wounds. If he was going to be able to stay in their lives, he couldn’t risk losing them for any reason—and especially one as selfish as love.
Summer shifted in the bed and looked over in his direction through a squinted eye. “How long have you been there?” she asked, her voice raspy from sleep.
So much for being stealthy. He opened up the door a tiny bit more. “I was just walking by, thought I’d check in on you. Need anything? Water? Pain meds?”
She groaned slightly as she stretched and must have done a mental inventory of what exactly had gone on last night. “I’d ask if we...you know...but—”
“You know my hard pass on any woman who isn’t in control. And last night, you were well out of control.” He sent her a soft, understanding smile. “Besides, you made it abundantly clear you were not interested in me—or any man until the end of time.” He made air quotes as he recited her words back to her.
She shoved her face into the pillow, not bothering to deny her boycott of relationships.
Oddly enough, he found the idea of her not dating anyone—even him—reassuring. Though he didn’t have a shot with her, ever, at least they could be alone together. Though, in all truth, she deserved to be happy and find love with a man who would treat her like the princess she was.
“See you in a few?” he asked, and when she nodded, he went downstairs for breakfast.
Twenty minutes later, she was fresh-faced after a shower. She walked into the kitchen, grabbed a cup of coffee and her keys and started outside. “Coming? It’s a long drive to Great Falls,” she said, not looking back at him.
“What?” he called after her. Last night she had said that it would take her a few days to get things lined up with her work, that she couldn’t just drop everything and take him to see his son. And yet, she was now tearing out of the house like her feet were on fire.
Whatever, he wasn’t going to look this gift horse in the mouth.
Luckily, his family and the rest of the crews were in the main house, or they would have had a ball ribbing him for Summer coming home with him. As it was, he was surprised he wasn’t getting a slew of texts after the dancing and frivolity last night. Maybe they were all too hungover to be too full of snark this morning; regardless, it was only a matter of time until a few of them started asking questions. Especially after the conversation he’d had with Zoey Martin, their STEALTH boss, telling her that he was going to need a couple of weeks off so he could go meet his son.
Oh, that tidbit of information was going to sweep through the family like wildfire.
He really needed to stop going to weddings.
He stood and, grabbing his coat and a travel mug of coffee, he made his way outside after Summer. She was standing beside her car. “Do I want to know how we got home last night?” she asked, nudging her chin in the direction of his pickup.
“No worries, I went out this morning with AJ and we got your car. No drinking and driving.” His hard pass on drunken anything ran the gamut.
“So, AJ knows I came back here...with you... And...” She gave a resigned sigh. “Crap.”
“You know AJ, he isn’t going to say anything to anyone,” he said, walking over toward his truck.
“Where are you going?” Summer called after him.
“I thought you said we weren’t going to drive together?” he asked, confused by her about-face.
“Saves gas if we just go together.”
He had never known Summer to turn on a dime, but maybe she had changed more than even he could understand since the last time he had spoken with her. From what he’d been told, motherhood changed a person. In the few hours since he’d found out he was a father, he could feel himself changing too. Suddenly, his life had taken on a new meaning and a fight he hadn’t known he’d had within him—he would do anything for this boy whom he had never met. He would give his life. He couldn’t even begin to imagine the transformation in Summer, one she’d gone through alone because of his failure to respond to her. His chest ached.
He would understand if she never forgave him for his missteps in life. He doubted he would ever forgive himself.
As he got into her car, he peeked into the back seat. He expected to find a car seat base or something to give her role as a mother away, but it was conspicuously devoid of any whispers of a child. He could understand it, though, her need to keep her personal life out of any sort of public view. In their line of work, private lives were weak points. That was part of the reason he had told himself he couldn’t get married. If they had...they would both have been weakened. Others could have used their love against them.
The first hour of the drive, they sat in silence as he waited for her to start talking. They careened through the mountains, the timber flashing by as they rolled past pristine rivers and blue skies. The snow was gone from the mountains, but there was still an icy chill in the air. When the peaks finally gave way to rolling plains, it was as if the mask of the mountains had lifted and so had Summer’s mood.
Finally, she looked over at him. “I told Jess we were coming, she said she would be around with Joe anytime. I think she is looking forward to getting a bit of a break. She has had him for the last week.”
“I’m excited to meet him. Seriously.” He wanted to ask her how often she left Joe in Jessica’s care, but he didn’t want to come off sounding judgmental in any way, so he remained quiet. Tension reverberated through the air as it was; he didn’t need to add more. “And I’m glad Jess has been so great.”
“I’m glad she is so willing to help me out. I have come to really understand the adage that it takes a village to raise a child.”
; “Well, I hope you know that I’m more than happy to help in any way I can. I want to be a part of your support system. Money, housing...whatever.”
She gave him a sidelong glance, like she was looking for the truth in his words.
“I mean it,” he repeated. “And I’m not going to say it again, but I want you to know that I will always be sorry for how things played out between us.”
She raised her hand, silencing him. “Let’s not talk about it. What happened... Not anymore... We have more pressing things to deal with and if we go there, ever...well, it’s not good for either one of us.”
He nodded, agreeing. There was no fixing the past. “Here’s to moving forward.” He raised his coffee mug in salute.
She smiled, and the simple action lifted the heaviness that had blanketed him. Maybe there was some kind of hope for a budding friendship, after all.
Twenty miles and a pit stop later, she let him take over driving. She stared out the window as he drove the straight, long road that led to the north. He’d always hated this drive. Many people thought of the rolling prairie as beautiful in its languid hills and lolling grains, but he found it monotonous. The only thing that changed was the crops. Though, maybe it wasn’t the prairie that was at fault; maybe he had too many mountainous ridges and sharp crags around his soul.
Regardless of where he was in Montana, at least he was in the state he called home. These roads, these mountains, hills and valleys were where he wanted to be forever. He’d spent far too many days overseas and in foreign lands longing for this place to take it for granted.
“Do you miss it?” she asked.
“Huh? What?”
“Now that you are working in surveillance, do you miss your old job gunning down bad guys?” She was staring at him.
“I forgot how well you can read my thoughts.” He chuckled, trying to dispel some of the pressure of her question.
“It’s in your face. You always get that look when you’re thinking about the Sandbox, it’s like you’re a million miles away.”
He pinched his lips as he nodded. “I always thought I had a good poker face.”
“Maybe you do, but you will never have one when it comes to me.”
And that right there was one of the reasons he had forgotten—until now—that he had fallen in love with her. She seemed to see him in a way that no one else in the world ever would.
“Do you like the work you are doing with STEALTH?” she asked.
“Yeah, you know me. I’m happier working in the shadows, and the team lets me do that.”
She laughed. “I hear you there. Lately, I’ve been working more in the open and I have to say that I miss the old days when I worked more behind a desk.”
“So, you don’t like your new job?”
She shrugged. “It’s fine. But they are asking things of me that I’m not loving.”
He didn’t dare to question her about what in her job she didn’t enjoy. Those kinds of conversations, in their lines of work, were places they could never go.
“I heard about the shooting at ConFlux. I’m glad you made it out unscathed. Did they ever find the shooter?”
He glanced over at her, surprised that she would press anything work-related. “We got as far as we could with the information we had. As far as I know, the feds are still digging into that one. And us talking about my job? I’m done. I told you before, this isn’t something I’m going to open up about, especially when we don’t even play for the same teams.” He tried to ignore the way his hackles rose. Summer was someone he could trust and yet his professional instincts kept him silent on any details related to STEALTH jobs.
She huffed. “And I told you that we’re playing for the same team.”
He opened his mouth to challenge her, but she didn’t pause long enough.
“But I respect your need for privacy. If I was your boss, I would be proud of you for your hard line on this. You are the kind of employee I strive to be.”
Did that mean she had secrets she wanted to tell him? Was there something she needed help with, but was too afraid to ask?
“Are you okay, Summer? Safe?” Sometimes he hated the way they had to speak in the nuanced code that came with their lifestyle.
Her hands tightened into balls in her lap; he’d stumbled onto something. But what?
She chewed on her lip, but she didn’t respond.
Silence rolled by along with the miles until the grain silos and hotels marking the Great Falls skyline came into view. Pointing to the upcoming exit, she gave him a few simple directions toward Jess’s house. The home was a simple box-style, as if built in the 1950s when resources were limited and people only built exactly what they could pay for out of pocket and with little residual expense.
As he pulled to a stop, Summer finally turned to him. “Mike, I won’t compromise you or your job, but I could use your help.”
He would give her anything. There was so much he needed to make up for. But he could never compromise his teams—not even for her. And sometimes even letting out a small seemingly inconsequential bit of info could put a colleague in jeopardy.
Yet maybe there was something he could do to help, something he was sure wouldn’t put a single life in peril. “What, exactly, do you need?”
“I need to find out what you know about Rockwood.”
“Why?”
She shook her head, refusing to give him more. “If I tell you, I’m as good as dead.”
His hackles rose even more. “If you don’t tell me exactly what the hell is going on, there is nothing I can do to help you. You can’t give me half-truths. It’s all or nothing, Summer.”
The front door of the little thrifty-looking house opened. Jessica stepped out, her blond hair whipping around her face as she lifted the little boy’s chunky arm and helped him to wave at them.
He was upset with Summer, but as soon as he saw the sweet, cherubic cheeks of the little blond boy in Jessica’s arms, he forgot about everything but the baby. This boy, this little ball of chunk.
He stepped out of the car, slipping the keys in his pocket as he rushed toward the front steps. Summer exited the vehicle and he could make out the sound of her laughing softly behind him.
Walking up the sidewalk to his son, he could feel a single tear slip down his cheek.
As he approached, the little boy smiled and wiggled in Jessica’s arms. He thrust out his arms, surprising Mike in the way he motioned for him, a stranger.
Jessica sent him a warm smile as she lifted Joe up and handed the baby over.
As he took him, he smiled through the tears that streaked his face.
This. This moment was what his entire life had led up to.
This angel was his now, and forever more, his everything.
CHAPTER FOUR
Watching him with their son drew memories to the front of Summer’s mind, memories she had believed long forgotten. As Joe touched his face and giggled, then coyly tucked his face in Mike’s neck, the simple innocent action reminded Summer of the first time Mike had made her laugh. She couldn’t remember the exact joke—some dad joke about bees—but she could still remember the flames of love that had burned away her mask and exposed the real her.
She had thought herself capable of compartmentalizing love from work. And yet now, standing there and watching the two men who had brought so much joy to her life, she knew there was no such thing as compartmentalizing, not really. Sure, a person could shift attention and focus, stuffing away inconvenient feelings, but in life’s quiet moments, those truths always returned...with more pain than any type of physical injury. Though she couldn’t go back in time and make different choices, she could learn from them. And her greatest lesson to date? Love was a weakness.
Mike looked over his shoulder at her, his cheek damp. Had this man, this chiseled-from-granite man, really shed a t
ear?
Her weakness for him rippled through her like a piece had broken from his hard façade and dropped into the lake of her life.
Allergies. He had to be suffering from allergies.
“You didn’t tell me he was so freaking cute.” He glanced back at the boy. “He has your eyes.”
“And your nose,” she said, walking over and giving Joe a little bop to the round tip.
He giggled as she smiled down at him, making funny faces and blowing raspberries.
Mike looked up at Jessica. “It’s nice to see you. Been a long time.”
Even though she had warned her friend that Mike would be coming with her to Great Falls to meet his son, Jess looked at Summer like she wasn’t entirely sure how she should respond to the interloper on her doorstep. Summer gave her a faint nod, hoping it would show her that this was all okay, this was what needed to happen for everything to fall into place.
Jess composed herself and plastered a smile on her lips as she moved her gaze to Mike. “I’m glad you are here. Joe has been waiting to meet you.”
There was a pained expression on Mike’s face, as though Jess’s words were some sort of razor wire that had wrapped around him, piercing him with each syllabic burst.
“I would have come sooner, but...well, you know...” He cleared his throat.
“Let’s not worry about the past,” Summer said, walking by him and waving off his discomfort like it wasn’t going to haunt him.
She didn’t need a reminder of the pain that would always rest between them.
Jess followed her in, letting Mike stand alone with the boy for a moment before walking into the house behind them.
“Want some coffee? Tea?” Jess asked, giving Summer a pointed look.
Jess wanted to meet with her alone in the kitchen. Sometimes she hated having a friend who could speak through only a glance.
“I’d take a glass of water, you know me...nothing too fancy.” Mike smiled, but he didn’t look away from Joe.
There was no doubt Mike was just as much in love with his son as she was.
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