Knight Vision

by Johanna Bock

  ***

  Chapter Ten

  In the aftermath glow of their lovemaking, Jeff and Annie spooned. She was extremely relaxed, as her body heat returned to normal. “Well, did I pass? Or, do I have to do it again, Teacher?“ he asked, kissing her ear lobe.

  “Let me think. Oh, you pass,“ she said happily, snuggling deeper against him.

  “Damn. I was hoping to have to try again,“ he swore lightly, hugging her close to him. Annie purred deeply like a kitten at her contentment. Hearing and feeling her purr, Jeff whimpered softly like a playful puppy. “I thought you said you were inexperienced,“ he whispered. “The things you did to me. WOW. To whom do I owe for those pleasures?“

  Annie giggled lightly. “I guess you should thank the authors of the romance books I read. I will gladly provide you with their names if you want,“ she offered.

  “Romance books provide you with that much detail?“ he asked, shocked.

  “Yessssss,“ she replied, rolling out of his arms to face him.

  “I might have to read one,“ he offered, looking into her eyes.

  “Oh, you do not need it. Believe me. You already possess the knowledge,“ she said, provocatively kissing him. “However, I could give you a copy, if you like, so you can gain insight on just what expectations women want guys to fulfill. You know, thinking about it, I feel sorry for you guys. The romance books paint a picture of seduction which I thought, before you, was all fiction. I definitely did not experience this level of satisfaction in my past real encounters. I was too shy, too afraid, too self-conscious, too stupid, too inexperience, too . . .,“ she paused. “I was just too uncomfortable with them,“ she shared openly.

  “What made me different?“ Jeff asked, truly interested in her answer.

  “This, I think. Being naked beside you without cover and not feeling exposed. The ability and comfort level to discuss anything with you. Freedom, . . . no not freedom. It is more like permission to be myself, to be able to pour out my soul earlier. The desire I see in your eyes, even now. You have touched my heart; I feel love from you. I have never felt this way before,“ she admitted honestly.

  Annie saw Jeff’s eyes glaze over at her words. Damn, she thought. I have shared too much. Ever present self-doubt crawled onto her shoulder and whispered into her ear. “You blew it. Get up, get dressed, and walk home. It WAS fun.“ She shook her head and screamed, No, in her mind. I am not giving this man up.

  Reaching out with a shaking hand, she brushed the hair on his forehead. “Hello, are you there?“ she asked quietly. Jeff’s eyes refocused on her. “Penny for your thoughts,“ she voiced worriedly, pulling her hand back.

  “Thoughts,“ Jeff echoed, not smiling.

  “Yes,“ she pushed.

  “Your words.“

  Annie replayed her words in her head. Crap, she used the ’L ’ word. What the hell? she thought, as a sinking feeling overcame her. She had to save the moment. “Jeff, I said the wrong word earlier. I meant desire not the other word,“ she amended quickly.

  “No, you meant what you said originally,“ he stated, squinting at her. “I have learned that much about you already. You speak the truth.“

  “I don’t know what to say. If you want me to go, I understand,“ she admitted, with tears building in her eyes as she moved away from him.

  “Where are you going?“ Jeff asked softly.

  “I don’t know. Away,“ she responded.

  “Not so fast, little lady,“ he said, reaching for her and pushing her onto her back. Shifting positions, he placed his leg over hers and perched his upper body on his elbow so he could look down upon her. “You are not going anywhere. You had your turn; it is now mine.“

  Annie’s heart was beating so hard, she thought it would explode in her chest. Seeing the fear in her eyes, he reached out and lovingly brushed her hair away from her eyes. “I vowed earlier to you that I would never hurt you, so relax and listen to me. Your words started me thinking. That was what I was doing. When you said you feel love from me, it shocked me. I really thought I was incapable of love, giving or receiving it. I don’t think I have ever experienced it. I come from a broken home with some really deep-dark demons in the closet. I have functioned my entire life on just surviving one day to the next. I have no root system, no balance, and I believe it is the reason I write poetry. It gives me an outlet for my feelings without the messiness of personal relationships. That’s it! I am a failure in personal relationships,“ he informed her.

  “No, you are not,“ Annie said, reaching out and placing her hand on the side of his face.

  “Oh, yes, I am or was until you,“ Jeff confessed.

  “Me?“ Annie questioned unbelievingly.

  “Since I first heard your laugh, something changed within me. As I stood there watching you last night, I knew you were special. I have not been able to get you off my mind,“ he said, turning his head into her palm and kissing it. Reaching up with his left hand, he captured her hand and placed their joined hands on his chest over his heart.

  “Jeff?“

  “No. Let me finish,“ he begged. “When you bumped into me on your flight to the restroom, I was blown away by your incidental touch. Your flustered facial blush sealed the deal. Annie, you glowed to me. I know it sounds strange, but I didn’t see it until that encounter. My eyes followed you and I was mesmerized. I truly believe that was the moment when the wall around my heart cracked. Believe me; I have never, ever felt that way before. A part of me died when I walked out of there without talking to you. It did not occur to me until I was back here that you might not call. I just couldn’t fathom I cared that much. I returned to see if it was real or not. When I reentered and saw your glowing aura, the crack expanded. I felt humbled in your presence.“

  “Oh Jeff,“ she purred, feeling the steady beat of his heart under her hand. He was telling her the truth.

  “So, this is what love is?“

  “Yes,“ she whispered as a tear trickled down her temple. “And so much more.“

  He leaned over and kissed her. It was so gentle, so soft, so right. Closing her eyes, she let the sensation consume her. His lips moved from her mouth to kiss the tears from her temples. “Annie, you are beautiful,“ he whispered.

  Annie felt the rekindling of desire within her. She moaned softly and wiggled against him. “Stop that,“ he whispered in her ear. “Or, I will never get you home.“

  HOME, she thought as reality hit her in the face, extinguishing the spark. Opening her eyes wide, she asked. “What time is it?“

  “Late,“ he answered, turning his head to the desk. “It is almost midnight.“

  Crap! she thought. “We have to move. I might be of age, but I live with my folks. I need to get home,“ she explained, rolling away from him. History told her that her mother would be waiting for her to get home. “Move, Jeff.“

  Deep laughter reached her ears as she scrambled to her feet and froze. Her movement was stopped, not from his laughter, but from the soreness of her body. “Ouch,“ she cried.

  “A little sore?“ Jeff continued to laugh.

  “You could say that,“ Annie said, looking down at him still stretched out on the comforter. “Please, Jeff. Get moving,“ she said, turning and walking gingerly over to her clothes.

  “Yes, my lady,“ he teased as he tried to get to his feet and then grimaced.

  “Sore?“ she asked, laughing.

  “Don’t go there,“ he said, gritting his teeth and moving in her direction.

  She opened her arms to him as he approached. He eyed her suspiciously. “One last, skin to skin, hug to keep us warm tonight,“ she giggled. He stepped into her embrace and she melted into him. This was perfect, she thought.

  Moving out of their embrace, they redressed. While pulling her slacks over her tender bottom, her self-doubt made another appearance on her shoulder. ’You will never experience this night again,’ it said. Hopefully, you are wrong, she silently responded, smiling.

  “What are you
smiling about?“ Jeff asked, catching her expression.

  “Just dreaming.“

  ***

  Fully dressed, he grabbed their jackets and her purse off the chair. Placing her jacket over her shoulders, she grabbed his hand and walked out the door.

  Jeff again walked her to the passenger door, opened it and helped Annie take her seat. Before he closed the door, he leaned in and kissed her. As she waited for him to round the car to the driver’s door, her thoughts lingered on what had transpired between now and the last time she was in this seat. What a difference a couple of hours could make, she thought with pleasure.

  As he got into the car, she heard him humming ’their’ song. Her heart took flight. She placed her hand on his leg as he started the car. Glancing at her before placing the car in gear, he smiled from ear to ear. He shifted his head, while continuing to smile, and pulled away from his house.

  Within moments of their departure, his hand found its resting place on her leg. On the short ride to her house, they arranged to meet the following evening. He would pick her up for dinner and afterwards they would play it by ear. They both smiled at the unspoken meaning of the last part.

  As he parked his car in front of her house, she noticed the living room light was still on. She was right on the money earlier; her mother was waiting for her. Jeff got out of the car and moved around to open her door. He reached for her and guided her out. Holding hands, he started to the door of her house. “Jeff,“ she said, stopping him. “It is okay. I can go from here.“

  He looked at her strangely and started to open his mouth to say something. She quieted him by pulling him into her arms and kissing him. Backing out of their embrace, she whispered. “See you tomorrow.“

  “Yes, you will, my beauty. Sleep well,“ he answered, kissing the tip of her nose.

  Annie watched him return to his car. At the door, he turned to her and waved. Waving back, she felt cold. She stood still and watched his car until it disappeared around the corner. Turning, she looked at the brightly-lighted living room and sighed.

  ***

  Chapter Eleven

  Annie took a deep-cleansing breath. She had to face her mother; she knew it would take every ounce of her strength to endure the next couple of minutes. As she grabbed the doorknob, she mentally willed herself to maintain her emotions. She plastered a partially-fake smile on her face and opened the door. As she expected, her mother was seated in the chair under the lamp, reading a book. “Hi, Mom,“ she said happily, leaning over to kiss her cheek.

  “Hi, dear,“ her mother responded, putting aside her book. “Did you have a nice time?“

  “Yeah, it was great,“ Annie answered, wondering at the strange expression on her mother’s face. Could she tell? she asked herself. “We had dinner at the club. You know, the one Leah and I hang out all the time. We ate, drank and danced a little. It was a blast.“ She was not lying.

  “Annie, I am glad you had a good time,“ her mother responded.

  “You did not have to wait up for me,“ Annie said, turning to head to her room. “I am tired. I will talk to you more in the morning.“

  “Annie,“ her mother called before she could take another step. “Is he married?“

  Annie froze in her tracks as her mother’s question repeated in her mind. Why would she ask that question, she thought. She turned to her mother. “What?“ she asked, shocked.

  “I said,“ her mother repeated, “Is he married?“

  “Good God, no,“ Annie stated flatly. “Why would you even think to ask?“

  “Annie, dear,“ her mother slowed her speech. “He is wearing a wedding band on his left hand.“

  My GOD, Annie thought. I have been with him three times and I never noticed. How naïve or stupid am I? She had been to his home tonight. At least she thought it was his place. Her mind shifted gears quickly. She focused on her mother’s frowning face and said, “Mom, I have to be honest. I didn’t see the ring. I don’t believe he is married, but I cannot tell you he is not.“

  Her mother looked at her dumbfounded. “Are you telling me that you have seen this boy several times and you never noticed?“ she asked.

  Annie nodded, staring at her mother straight in the face so she would believe her. “Truthfully, Mom,“ she began, “If I had noticed the ring, I would have asked him. I just did not see it.“ Her mother looked at her so sympathetically she felt like she was two again. “Mom, we have plans for tomorrow night. I promise I will find out about it,“ she vowed, walking out of the room.

  “Be careful,“ her mother’s voice carried to her as she entered the bathroom and closed the door.

  Annie leaned back against the closed door of the bathroom and her hand subconsciously twisted the knob to lock it. She needed to think; she needed privacy with her thoughts. Pushing herself off the door, she stared at her reflection in the large mirror over the sink. He is married, her mind screamed. He is playing you. How stupid could she be? She leaned up against the sink cabinet and pressed her forehead on the sidewall. As she stood there, the soreness in her body returned, reminding her of the past couple of hours. She had not realized her mother’s word had caused her to go numb. How could this man do this to her?

  She righted herself and grabbed the washcloth off the towel rack. Turning on the faucet and placing the stopper in the bottom, her mind raced as the sink filled with hot water. She knew in her heart, the passion they had experienced was real. Was everything he told her a lie? She had felt his heartbeat; he was telling her the truth. Then again, maybe it was too good to be true.

  She turned off the water and tested the temperature. It was hot and it was what she needed. Stripping off her clothes, she examined her body in the mirror. Signs of their ’activity’ were obvious. Shaking her head, she doused the washcloth into the water, willing her mind to go blank. Lathering up the cloth, she proceeded to erase all traces of their lovemaking. She scrubbed herself from head to toe until it glowed red from her pressure. When she finished, she gently dried her sore body.

  Reaching for her robe on the back of the door, she wrapped it around herself. She picked up her clothes and dirty towels and dumped them into the nearby hamper, and then unlocked the door. As she opened the door of the bathroom, the door in her mind also opened, allowing all her thoughts to tumble out. Enough! I don’t want to think about it, she cried silently. She needed sleep and knew if she allowed her mind to open, she would have another sleepless night.

  Exiting the bathroom, she noticed the lights were now out in the house. Breathing a sigh of relief at not having to confront her mother again that evening, she silently made her way to her bed. She closed her bedroom door, dropped the robe and crawled into the sheets, savoring the feel of the cool sheets against her bare skin. She curled into a fetal position. With a growing apprehension that she would lose control of her thoughts, she willed herself to sleep. Within minutes, she knew it was a losing battle. She found herself falling back on her counseling class’s techniques of relaxation in order to ease her anxious mind. It had always worked in the past and it succeeded this time as well. She was soon fast asleep.

  ***

  Chapter Twelve

  When Annie woke the next morning, she was still in the same position as when she had gone to sleep. To her surprise, she found her pillow was wet. She had cried in her sleep; she had never done it before. As she started to move, she discovered the soreness was still with her. She gingerly dressed and wondered if she should just get back in bed, telling the world to go away. She smiled, knowing if she did it would be running away and she wasn’t the kind of person to take refuge in her bed.

  She wanted to avoid her parents; she needed to talk to Leah. Her world had gone from pleasure to pain to rapture to rock bottom in one evening. She just had to work it out some way and she needed time to think. Knowing it was too early to call Leah and unable to bring herself to talk to Jeff, she headed to the front door of the house. Calling out to her parents, she cried, “I have errands to run and w
ill be back later.“

  Reaching her car without interruptions, she started it and drove to a nearby park. Turning off the motor, she sat there, debating with herself on how to exorcise these demons which were taking control over her thoughts. All the ’spirit-killers’ she thought she had buried the night before came back to her in a rush. She got out of the car and proceeded to walk around the park in the cool, brisk morning air.

  The brisk air and the power walk helped clear her mind, but she found no answers to her array of questions. Thinking to herself, she noted that two days ago, she had not a care in the world and now her life was turned upside down. Continuing to circle the park, she was not really thinking so much as crying. She stopped at the swing set and straddled the seat. Without thinking, she plopped down hard on the seat. The minute her bottom touched the seat, she knew it was a mistake as pain coursed through her core. Grabbing the chain of the swing with both hands, she bit down hard on her lower lip to stifle her scream. Renewed tears ran down her cheeks, as she shifted her weight to ease her discomfort. As the pain subsided, she lifted her feet and started to swing. The rocking position reminded her of the previous night in his arms. Her thoughts changed drastically from self-pity to pleasure as she mentally replayed the activities between them. The ice which had formed around her heart and soul receded as she recalled his tenderness to her. Maybe there was a reason for the dreaded ring, which had occupied her thoughts for the last hour. Maybe he wore it to ward off any unwanted advances. After all, he was a stunningly good-looking man.

  She needed to hear it from him, and decided not to talk to Leah about the ring. Leah, she thought. She was usually so observant; surely, she would have noticed the ring. Why didn’t she say anything about it? It wasn’t like Leah to keep things from her. Leah was very straightforward about things; she shot from the hip. Annie just couldn’t believe something as important as a wedding ring could be missed by both of them.