by T. J. LONG
As I’m walking out of the door to my next class, Tristan comes up beside me. With all the Josh drama, everything else about that night had taken a backseat for the time being. That probably wasn’t the best plan, but I had no interest in telling anyone anything about what I saw.
“Can we talk, please?”
I stop walking, turn to him, and scowl. “I really don’t have anything to say to you,” I say, huffing out the words.
“Please?” he pleads, looking at me with a disappointed face, his lips going to the side.
“I really have to go,” I say, while walking away.
“I’m sorry,” he yells at my retreating back. With my eyes to the ground, I sigh, shaking my head. It’s not that I was upset at what I saw. Yes, it took me by surprise, but what really hurt was that he did nothing when Brian attacked me; he just watched it happen.
When I get home from my miserable day, I grab a drink and head upstairs. I unpack my homework, but as I’m working on it, I can’t help but wonder, why? Why the silent treatment? Why ignore all my texts? And then the biggest question of all: why the hell was the realtor at his house? What did I do to deserve such inconsiderate treatment?
As my eyes well, I fight it. I fight the tears so badly my throat aches. “I can’t.” I fall back, collapsing onto my bed. “I can’t do this. I need answers,” I say to myself in a scratchy voice. I rub my hand on my face, wiping the small amount of wetness that gathered on my lashes away.
I grab my phone and tell myself that if he doesn’t answer me back, then I’ll just have to stop by his house later tonight. It’s a bold move, but if he thinks he can treat me this way after everything, then, well, then he’s not the good guy I thought he was.
Me: Are you ever going to talk to me?
After dinner with the family, I still haven’t received a text back. I don’t get it. What the hell could have happened to make him ghost me like this? I decide the best plan is to sneak out and head over to his house.
I don’t change out of my uniform. In the past, I was always conscientious about him never seeing me in my uniform outside of school. I tried my best to make him feel like he wasn’t with a student, but now I just don’t care.
I’m standing in front of the back door, trying to muster the courage to knock. I want answers; I do. But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t afraid of the answers I was about to receive. The connection we had was undeniable, like we were meant for each other, so to be at this point, well, it sucks for lack of a better word.
I take a deep breath to steady my quickening pulse. I clench my right hand into a tight fist, and before I can chicken out, I knock. The adrenaline is coursing through my veins. I can hear my heartbeat in my ears as the blood rushes through them. I see his shadowy figure heading toward the door, and before I know it, he’s there before me.
“Hi.” It slips out before I can think of an appropriate response to his disappearance. Like, “Where the hell were you and why have you been ignoring me?”
“Hi,” he says back, but it sounds distant and cold. He opens the door further so I can step in.
I clasp my hands together and squeeze. The awkwardness is killing me. He walks to the fridge and grabs a beer.
“Do you want something to drink?”
This feels like deja vu. I shake my head and nervously chew on my bottom lip. I steady my breath and walk toward the couch. My hand touches the brown leather fabric and the memories flood me. This is the couch where we had our first serious conversation. The place we had movie marathons on the weekends when I was “staying at Ann’s.” The cool air nights we spent cuddled together under blankets exploring each other and falling... in like...er, for me, love.
It’s all happened here.
It’s only fitting that this couch sees the demise of us.
There’s nothing he could say that would make me forgive him for the coldness he’s been radiating toward me. I just need to hear why, and then I’ll be on my way.
A deep sigh leaves my parted lips. I don’t dare look at him. I’m not prepared for that yet. I keep my eyes down, watching my fingers as they dance awkwardly on my lap.
“I need to know why, please. Just tell me why you disappeared from my life.”
He scoffs out a laugh.
My bottom lip trembles as I fight back the tears from his laugh. I pick at my cuticles. I can’t believe we’re here. I never thought he’d be the type of guy to behave this way, not after everything he’s been through in his past relationship.
“I think you’re the one who needs to explain, not me,” he says.
I can see him shaking his head in my peripheral. What is that? Does he have a disappointed look laced on his face?
He scoots further back into the couch and brings his arms up, intertwining his fingers and placing them behind his head. He has this knowing smug look on his face and I’m feeling even more confused than before.
“I don’t know what you mean. I haven’t done anything that needs explaining, Josh.” My patience is running thin and I’m starting to feel the anger seeping through me. Please don’t play dumb, I think. I will him, mentally, to tell me what happened so this whole thing can be done and over with.
His jaw is ticking, and he looks pissed. He brings his hands to his lap and cracks his knuckles. “If you’re planning on sitting here like you’re innocent, then maybe you should just go. I was prepared for the truth to come out. I was prepared to hear what a mistake it was, and how it’ll never happen again, but honestly,” he rakes his fingers through his hair, “I wasn’t expecting the lack of accountability, not from you.”
I jump up from my seated position on the couch with my shoulders raised, arms high in the air. “What the hell are you talking about? I literally haven’t done anything. It’s you who has!”
“And what have I done besides ignore your calls?” He tilts his head, waiting for my reply.
He’s so cool and collected while I’m irate. “You—you left me at the party. You ignored all my texts and my calls. Do you even realize how worried I was about you? And then you had that—that..” I’m trying to bite my tongue so I don’t come off crazy, but screw it, I’m angry. “Then you brought that bitch to your house to stay the night. Explain that to me. Now! I deserve answers.”
He starts to laugh and my face falls, confused at his behavior. “You want answers? Here, let me explain a little something to you. Have a seat, Taylor. No need to stand for the truth bomb I’m about to drop.”
I plop back into my seat, not sure what I am about to hear.
“The night of the dance I found myself walking into the tunnels under the school. I had heard a noise, thought it must be some unruly teens that needed to be escorted out.”
My face drops as my heart speeds up in my chest.
“See?” He points at my fallen face. “I knew you knew what you did. You couldn’t hide it from me though because I saw you. I saw you and that guy. His hands were all over you. Do you realize how sick that made me? I trusted you.” His voice cracks with emotion.
He looks at me with so much hurt in his eyes that it causes my eyes to tear as well, even though I know I didn’t do anything wrong. I sit silently listening to him.
“I left the dance early since, as you can imagine, my night was ruined after seeing that. Got home, packed a bag, and headed to Bill’s beach house for a much-needed man-cation. Unfortunately for me, Sarah, which is the realtor's name by the way, was already at the beach house with her asshole of a boyfriend who, long story short, cheated on her, threw her keys over the cliff, and stranded her there. I didn’t bring a girl home with me. I was a gentleman and allowed her to stay with me, in my guest room, until she could call a locksmith the following morning. There’s nothing between Sarah and I, and there never will be.”
My mouth is agape. I feel so stupid. He left and has been acting like this because he thinks I cheated on him; he feels hurt and betrayed by me. But it’s not what he thinks.
“You look relieved,�
� he says.
I lean into the couch and nod my head yes. I make eye contact with him and speak slowly, dropping my eyes to the floor as the events of that night flow from my mouth. I haven’t told a soul about what happened to me down there. Not even Ann, and she knows everything there is to know about my life. “What you saw is unfortunately what happened, but you are missing a vital detail.” I shift in the cushion as tears prick the corners of my eyes. I swallow hard, hoping the anxiety goes away. Knowing that I’ll have to relive what was done to me makes my stomach queasy.
“I was in the tunnel looking for a spot for us. I knew of the tunnels and thought I’d check it out first and make sure no one was in there.”
When tears begin trailing my cheeks, he gets a concerned look in his eyes. His body shifts to the end of the cushion as he listens to my story, the truth.
“I was using my phone as a flashlight when I turned into the room I.” I clear my throat as I pick at my nail beds anxiously. “I saw something that I shouldn’t have and I was threatened. What you saw was me being…” I don’t finish my words before he falls to his knees in front of me.
“Oh fuck, Taylor.” He puts his hand on my thigh and rubs. “If I had known, I mean, fuck, I could have helped you. I left you there alone with him.” He frantically rubs the hair on his head with his other hand.
His head falls to my lap and I feel wetness on my legs. I unclench my hands and rub his hair. “You didn’t know. I know you would have helped me if you thought I was being hurt.”
His head lifts and he looks frenzied. He’s on his feet and lifting me up before I realize what’s happening. “Where did he touch you? What did he do? Did he hurt you? Taylor, I swear to god I only saw a second of it, and if I had known that it wasn’t consensual, I would have killed him.”
I stand on my tippy toes and grasp his strong muscular shoulders. I stare into those gorgeous green eyes and it’s like I’m home again. “He didn’t do much.” I shrug my shoulders. “Mostly, it was threats. Although my back took a beating when he pushed me.”
His hands explore my body, trying to find any trace of last Friday night. He spins me around so my back is to him, and I bite my inner cheek, knowing he’s about to hate what he finds. He makes a guttural sound and falls to his knees. He gently lays kisses all over my back, expertly avoiding the bruised and scabbed area.
“I’m.” Kiss. “So.” Kiss. “Sorry.” Kiss.
He spins me around and holds me close, resting his head on my stomach. “Taylor, I know you may never forgive me. And I wouldn’t blame you. I left you there with him and then disappeared when you needed me the most.”
His eyes well with tears, and I wipe them away with my thumb just as he did for me months ago. “I forgive you. I know what it must have looked like. Listen, what he did was terrible and not having you was really hard on me, but...” I’m quiet, thinking of how to word what I saw and the mess we’re in with Brian blackmailing me with pictures of us.
“The reason I was trying to get ahold of you wasn’t because of Brian hurting me. It was because of what he did after that.”
He looks confused and tilts his head. “What do you mean? What happened?”
I clear my throat and tell him about what I saw in the tunnel. How Brian had access to my phone and was blackmailing me with pictures of us.
He grabs my hand and leads me to the stairs. “Where are we going? Did you hear what I said?”
I’ve been holding this is in for a week, stressing about what Josh would say when I finally told him about it. He looks nervous, but relieved.
“I heard you. I’m sorry, I know we need to come up with a plan, but right now, I have to hold you. I need you close. I have to keep you safe.”
Butterflies start to flutter in my stomach, but I have to be the voice of reason. “Josh, stop. If he shows someone those pictures, you’ll be done teaching.”
He looks confident when he turns to me. “If that happens, then so be it. All that matters is you.”
Joshua
She fell asleep 30 minutes ago but I can’t let her go. She’s sleeping so peacefully. Her lips are pursed, and she’s snuggled so close to me I feel like we’ve become one, legs intertwined like a pretzel. My hand caresses her long blonde locks, delicately pushing unruly strands back into place behind her ear. She is the epitome of beauty.
I tilt my head down and kiss her softly on her forehead, careful not to wake her. After the week she’s had, she deserves her rest. I feel like such a fucking asshole. The thought of that kid touching her makes me sick. I promised her that I’d never let anyone hurt her again, and I intend to keep that promise.
My lids drop, little by little, until the dream world takes me away.
Taylor calls me frantic. She says she can’t talk long but three men are following her. I hear the phone drop as her screams echo through the receiver. My heart pounds in my chest as I listen for any details that might help me figure out where she is. I’m the only one who can save her.
I pull up to an abandoned warehouse. And as soon as my door opens, I hear her. My eyes close, and for a moment, I relish in the happiness that I’ve found her. Even though she isn’t in my arms yet, I know she will be soon.
I break down seven walls to get to her, and then she’s in my arms, finally safe. She bores her amber eyes into mine and I tell her I love her.
“I love you, Taylor. I love you so much.” I say it repeatedly until I wake myself up.
The room is dark when I awaken except for light filtering in from the street lamp that permeates through the sheer curtains. I look down to see Taylor, eyes wide, lips separated, looking directly at me with a shocked expression on her face. My face feels warm and my heart speeds up in my chest.
With the look she’s giving, I must have been talking in my sleep. I rub my hand over my hair. “Was I talking in my sleep?” Already, I know the answer, but I want to be certain. This could be a huge step for our relationship.
She doesn’t talk, just nods her head yes.
“And what did you hear?” I bring my hand to her head and caress her before moving rogue strands behind her ear. I swirl my fingers down her delicate features until I reach her full mouth. My thumb moves over her bottom lip, tracing slowly until her lips part, and I feel her warm breath on my skin.
She clears her throat and lifts her head up so we are eye to eye. “You said you love me.” She's looking at me, intently, to see if I’ll get freaked out by what she just said.
But I knew damn near two months ago that she was the one for me. Of course, saying it out loud was different than thinking it. My last relationship really screwed with my confidence. Taylor made me feel things I have never felt before, and that’s how I knew I loved her.
“Don’t worry, it’s not like I think you meant it; it was just a dream,” she says as she lays her head onto my chest.
But I think I catch a glimpse of sadness on her face as she says it. I can feel the vibration of her heart beating against my ribs as I think about how to tell her that I do, indeed, love her and it wasn’t just a dream.
“I had a dream you were taken. I couldn’t get to you. You were alone and scared.” I squeeze her tight against my chest. “I tore apart every obstacle in my way to get you back. My dream told me something that I’ve already known for a while. A kind of an embarrassingly long time.”
I rub her arm as I look down at her. Her face is neutral and I’m uncertain about what she’s feeling. Screw it. We just went a week without talking. I’m not wasting any more time or opportunities.
“I love you, Taylor. And I know it’s fast, but damn, when you know, you know.” I quickly add,“And please don’t feel like you have to say it just because I did.”
Her eyes close and her lip form a tight smile that causes her cheeks and eyes to crease. She holds onto me tighter. “Mmm,” she murmurs into my chest. “Can you say it again, please?”
I lift her face from my body, gripping both sides of her jaw with my hands so I can l
ook into her eyes when I say it again. “I love you.”
Her pupils dilate and she swipes her tongue across her bottom lip. “I love you too,” she says, smiling at me.
Those words coming from her mouth make my heart smile. I lean in and brush my mouth over hers, lightly kissing her lips. Soft and gentle pecks turn sultry when she lightly traces my lip with her tongue. I feel my member twitch in my pants as she continues to tease me with her mouth.
She leaves me, dragging her plump lips down my chin to my jaw. I feel the heat from her mouth and then the softness of her lips as she lays kisses that encompass my jawbone. The soft light from outside illuminates half of her head, making it appear as if she has half of a halo. I agree, she’s only part angel.
Taylor
I push my body into him, rubbing my chest into his, purposefully trying to get a rise from him. My hand trails down his chest, slowly making its way to the happiest place on earth, and no, I don’t mean the amusement park. His eyes are on me as I reach his waistband, swirling and twirling my fingertips on his hard chiseled abdomen.
“What are you doing?” he asks quizzically, tilting his head to one side and squinting his eyes at me.
A devious smile deepens on my face. “Nothing.” I say the word slowly. I keep my eyes on him as I unbuckle his belt, the metal clashing together as it comes undone. I slide the zipper down next and then work on the button. I see pure desire in his eyes and I love it.
“Take your shirt off.” I say it so naturally, like I’ve done this a thousand times. He lifts himself to half mast and takes the shirt from his body, tossing it ruthlessly to the floor.
His deliciously hard chest and abs are now on full display. I rake my nails down the newly exposed skin, making his back arch in pleasure.
“Should I take my pants off, or do you want to do the honors?” His voice sounds strained.