by Linda Warren
Abby still didn’t say anything.
“Are you gonna be all right?” Holly asked.
Abby found her voice. “Yes.”
“Abby, I—”
“Don’t worry about me.” Her voice was stern, and Holly got the message.
“Okay, then, I’ll talk to you in the morning.” At the door Holly stopped. “Did you meet Kyle tonight?”
Abby nodded.
“Strange, the phone rang earlier, and I answered it. The other person wouldn’t answer and I thought it was Kyle. The battery was out on your caller ID. I replaced it for you. See you later.”
Could it have been Jonas? Was Jonas trying to reach her? She curled up on the sofa. Oh God, Jonas. I need you.
Abby didn’t know how long she lay there with feelings threatening to overwhelm her. Soon she got to her feet and went into the bedroom, searching for her carryall. She found it in the back of the closet and pulled it out. Inside were all the tapes Mr. Brewster had dictated to her. She sat on the floor listening to each one…learning about his poverty as a boy, his service in the war, his struggle to start Brewster Farms and his heartbreak over losing his only son. By morning she was still sitting on the floor—the tapes all around her. She had thought that Simon Brewster was a cruel and evil man who didn’t care about other people. But he wasn’t. He’d cared for his mother and made sure she never had to go hungry. He’d amassed an empire from nothing but a few acres of farmland. As his profits grew, he bought more land. He needed laborers to work the land, so he offered good jobs to the people of Hope—better than they could have gotten anywhere else. His objective was to boost the economy and keep people in Hope. He also offered the Mexicans a better way of life than they had across the border. He paid them fair wages and gave them housing. He built the clinic and hospital so everyone could have access to medical services. He’d loved his son and that love drove him to take Jonas in, under devious means, but it gave Jonas a direction, a focus in life. Something he didn’t have on the streets. Simon Brewster had many facets and…and he was her father.
For the first time, the words didn’t feel like a betrayal to the man whom she loved as her father. They were just a statement of the truth. A truth that didn’t burn or hurt until she couldn’t breathe. It was a truth she had to live with.
She put the tapes away and went to take a shower. When she came out, the phone was ringing. She glanced at the caller ID and saw that it was her mother. It rang a couple more times, then Abby reached out and picked up the receiver.
“Mama,” came out as a strangulated sound.
“Abby, sweetheart, oh, Abby,” Gail murmured. “Thank you for answering.”
Abby took the phone and sat on the bed. “It’s time we talked,” she said, knowing Gail had given her total love and support. She’d given her the space to develop her own ideas and opinions. She’d taught her to be independent and strong. Abby owed her, at the very least, a chance to explain.
“Did you love him?”
“Oh, Abby, I wish I could say that I did, but I didn’t. I’ve always loved your father,” Gail replied honestly, and Abby was glad she wasn’t going to lie to her. “As I told you, we were having a rough time. We’d been married four years and I wanted a baby, but nothing was happening. I guess I became obsessed with it. When I mentioned adoption, Abe became furious. That did something to him. He started sleeping on the sofa, and later he moved in with a friend. He said he couldn’t take the pressure anymore and that he’d be filing for divorce. I was devastated. While I was waiting for a teaching job to open up, I took a job at Brewster Farms to be near him, to try to change his mind, but it only made matters worse. He wouldn’t talk to me. I started taking papers and forms up to the house for Simon to sign. His wife had left him, and he was distressed over it. We began talking, and gradually it led to other things. He was older, exciting and different from Abe. He made me feel attractive.”
A long pause.
“You and Daddy were separated during this time?” She had not known her parents had spent any time apart.
“Yes.”
Her mother had said that he’d moved in with a friend, and Abby didn’t ask who. If it was another woman, she didn’t want to know. She knew too much already. She remembered her mother saying something about her father not being a saint, and Abby was willing to leave it at that.
“The affair lasted about a month, then Simon’s wife came back and he said it was over. I was so depressed that I quit my job and stayed in my bathrobe for days. I felt used and I didn’t know what I was going to do. Then Abe showed up one morning and said he still loved me and missed me and wanted to come home. I suddenly had my world back and I wanted to tell him about Simon. I was so afraid he’d leave me again, so I kept my mouth shut. Then I realized I was pregnant and knew it couldn’t be Abe’s. I struggled with my conscience, but Abe was so happy that I couldn’t tell him. He never even questioned when you were born early. He just loved you with all his heart.”
Abby knew that. She’d felt it every day of her life.
“When did Mr. Brewster find out?”
“A couple of years ago. When he read that report on Abe’s desk, he came to me wanting answers. I told him that you weren’t his, but I could see he didn’t believe me. He kept coming back until I told him the truth. He swore he’d never tell you. He promised me.”
“That’s why he planned that elaborate ruse about Delores Alvarez,” Abby said. “Delores was the only one who’d seen you together.”
“Yes. That’s why I did those crazy things. I never wanted you to know. I’m sorry about Rios. Everything got out of hand. Oh, sweetheart, I never meant for any of this to happen. Please forgive me.”
“Did Daddy forgive you?”
Silence stretched, and Abby asked again, “Did Daddy forgive you?”
Quietly her mother said, “He wouldn’t talk to me for two days. Then one day he came into the kitchen and wrapped his arms around me and said that I had given him the greatest gift of all so he had nothing to be angry about. I had given him you. He was hurt that I had slept with someone else, but he said he’d get over it. I was grateful for his loving generosity and I thought all our problems were over. Then he became ill, and we found out about the cancer.”
Abby remembered Gail’s devotion to her father during those difficult months. She had never left his side. And when she stepped out of the room for a moment, Abe would ask for her, and Abby knew he had completely forgiven her. Those last days proved their love for each other.
“I’m telling you the truth, Abby, and it’s hard,” Gail added. “I’m sorry, but I don’t regret having you. I did a lot of stupid things, but I can’t regret that.”
Abby swallowed and blinked back tears. “I’ve got to go,” she muttered.
“I love you, Abby. No matter what I do or what you do, nothing will ever change that.”
“I know, Mama. I’ll talk to you soon.” She quickly hung up because the waterworks were about to erupt.
She had known her parents as people who loved her and were always there for her. Now she saw them as human beings with faults, desires and weaknesses. The revelation didn’t overwhelm her or shatter her. It gave her an insight into two people who had truly loved each other. And she got a glimpse of herself—a woman who was strengthened by their weaknesses. Slowly she could feel Abigail Duncan emerging from the dark mist that had surrounded her, and she knew she’d soon be able to embrace life again. She’d be different, but that was what life was all about…changes.
SHE DRESSED AND HURRIED to the paper to turn in the Coleman story. She thought someone would mention the article in the paper. When they didn’t, she realized no one had connected it to her, just as Holly had said. They worked together as colleagues, but they knew very little about each other’s personal lives, unlike her and Holly, who had known each other for years.
Abby went back to her apartment and fell into a deep sleep. She woke up to the sound of Holly’s voice.
“Abby? Abby? Are you ill?”
Abby pushed herself into a sitting position. She’d been dreaming a wonderful dream of Jonas, and now it was gone. “Why are waking me?” Abby muttered crossly.
“It’s seven o’clock in the evening and I was worried when you wouldn’t answer the door. I saw your car outside.”
Abby frowned. “You’ve been knocking?”
“Yes.”
“I haven’t heard a thing. I must have been completely wiped out.”
“I’ll say,” Holly said, then her eyes narrowed. “You didn’t take anything, did you?”
Abby shook her head. “Stop worrying and hand me my robe. I’m hungry.”
Holly threw a white silk robe at her. “That’s a twist. You’ve hardly eaten a thing in weeks.”
Abby slipped from the covers into the robe. All she had on was her bra and panties. She had been so drained when she got in that she hadn’t bothered with a gown. Now she felt refreshed and hungry.
Holly followed her into the kitchen. Abby opened the refrigerator and glanced inside. There wasn’t much to eat. Then she spotted a Coke and smiled. Jonas was still on her mind. She grabbed it and rummaged in the pantry. She didn’t have peanuts, but she found a Snickers candy bar. Sitting on a bar stool, she popped the top of the can.
“You’re having Coke and Snickers?” Holly asked in disbelief.
“Yeah, and it’s pretty damn good. Want some?”
Holly held up a hand. “No, thanks, but why don’t we go out to dinner and a movie? I’m free for the rest of the evening.”
“Sounds great,” Abby said, taking a bite of the Snickers. “Let’s see a love story. A gooey, mushy love story that will make us want to grab the first man we see.”
Holly watched her closely. “Are you sure you didn’t take something?”
“Will you stop worrying.” Abby sighed. “I didn’t take anything. Besides, what would I take—aspirin?”
“You’re different…almost like your old self,” Holly commented.
“Yes, I’m finding my way back,” she admitted. “Abigail Duncan’s going to be fine.”
“You talked to your mother,” Holly guessed.
“I did, and we got through a lot of stuff.”
“That’s great, Abby,” Holly said. “Did you talk to Jonas?”
“No, not yet, but I will soon.” It felt good to say the words, and her heart beat faster at the prospect. She wasn’t confused anymore. She loved Jonas. That feeling hadn’t changed.
She slipped off the bar stool. “I’ll be ready in a jiff.”
As Holly threw the empty can and candy wrapper in the trash, the doorbell rang. “I’ll get it,” she called to Abby.
Holly swung open the door, and her eyes widened.
Jonas removed his hat. “Howdy, ma’am,” he said. “I was looking for Abigail Duncan’s apartment.”
Holly eyed him from his boots to his long, long legs, perfect in jeans, to his cotton shirt to his handsome face and sun-bleached hair. She placed a hand on her hip. “Howdy yourself, cowboy, and you’ve found Abby’s apartment.”
“Is she here?” he prompted, when Holly didn’t say anything else.
“Oh.” She quickly collected herself. “Yes, do come in. I’m Holly, a friend and neighbor.”
Abby pulled out a pair of slacks and stopped. She heard a deep masculine voice and her toes curled into the carpet. Jonas. No one but Jonas had that effect on her. She dropped the slacks and ran into the living room.
“Jonas,” she whispered, staring at him across the room, her heart beating so fast that she had to catch her breath. He looked even better than she remembered. Oh, how she loved him.
“Abby,” he said hoarsely, taking in her disheveled appearance. Her hair was longer, and he liked it. He liked everything about her.
“How are you?” he asked.
She ran across the room and threw her arms around his neck. He dropped his hat, and his arms enfolded her body against his. His mouth opened over hers, and they kissed hungrily.
“I guess the movie’s out,” Holly joked, picking up Jonas’s hat and placing it on a table. “Don’t mind me. I’ll be leaving now. No, don’t bother. I’ll see myself out.” The door clicked behind her, but Jonas and Abby didn’t notice.
“Oh, Abby, Abby.” He kissed her cheeks, her nose, her forehead, his hands coming up to tangle in her hair. “Are you okay?”
She drew back slightly to smile into his eyes. “I’m great now.”
His lips twitched into that beautiful grin she loved, and she kissed him and kissed him until their breathing became labored. She pushed her hands through his hair, her fingertips needing to feel everything that was Jonas.
“Abby,” he groaned, when she began to unbutton his shirt.
“No, don’t even think about stopping,” she warned, her lips following her fingers down his chest.
“It never crossed my mind,” he said against her hair. “I just thought we should talk first.”
She shook her head. “I’m tired of talking and thinking. Right now, all I want is you.” As she spoke, she brought her lips back to his.
“Where’s the bedroom?” he asked between kisses.
She started walking backward, undoing his belt as they moved down the hall and into her room. Slipping the shirt from his shoulders, she reveled in the muscles that rippled under her fingers. She stepped back and let her robe slide to the floor, then she eased onto the bed.
He watched as if mesmerized. Then in slow motion, he removed his boots and socks. Abby waited impatiently for him to remove the rest, but he didn’t. Instead, he knelt and picked up her foot, gently kissing her instep. The sensitive touch sizzled along her leg, making other areas of her body hum for attention.
His lips trailed up her calf to the back of her knees to the inside of her thigh. By then she wasn’t breathing, she was only feeling…pure, sensual pleasure. He removed her panties with little effort and unclipped her bra. She slid backward on the bed, and he moved over her, his lips continuing the delicious onslaught they had started. She groaned and dug her nails into the bedspread. As if sensing her weakness, he relented and found her aching breast. He suckled one, then the other, until she thought she would scream from the exquisite torture. When she couldn’t take any more, his lips found hers again and an explosion of senses bolted through her, demanding more and more.
He rolled her over until she lay on top of him, and her lips and hands went to work on him. Then she helped him shimmy out of his jeans and shorts. She sat and stared at him. She’d never seen such a perfect male form. His broad shoulders and narrow waist enhanced a masculinity that took her breath away. He was fully aroused, and she felt her body answering with an urgency that she couldn’t ignore.
Going on pure instinct, because she’d never been this bold before, her hands, lips and tongue caressed, stroked and massaged every inch of him. She didn’t want to leave any place unknown or undiscovered. She had to experience all of him.
Suddenly Jonas rolled her onto her back again. She parted her legs, and he settled between them. He stared into her eyes as he slowly entered her, then his lips covered hers with a passion that she never wanted to end.
She wrapped her legs around him, holding him deep inside her, and he began to thrust against her, harder and stronger. Her hands ran down the whip-cord muscles in his back as each thrust took her higher and higher, to a place she’d never been before. As her body convulsed with unforgettable pleasure, she cried out, “I love you,” and gave herself up to everything she knew Jonas could make her feel. A moment later she heard his cry of release and felt it encompass them both. Jonas eased to his back holding her on top of him.
She thought she had known about sex and love, but she didn’t know a thing. She knew she had never given herself to Kyle as completely as she had just given herself to Jonas.
Even though he hadn’t said I love you, that was okay. He’d just showed her with his body how much he cared about her. She felt loved an
d adored. She rested on his body in an unashamed languidness.
Jonas had always prided himself on his control, but he’d lost it the moment she’d touched him. He’d had sex before, but not like this. This time he’d made real love. It was the coming together of two hearts, two souls and two bodies—even he knew that. When he heard her say I love you, his body had exploded with a brilliant array of emotions that surged from him into her…a union that left him complete. He wanted to say the words back to her, but they were locked away so deep that he couldn’t bring them to the surface. It would take time, but eventually he would tell her. While he waited for the miracle to happen, he’d show her in ways that he understood. He hoped she knew he’d given her something he’d never given anyone else—himself.
They had to talk, but right now, all he wanted was her in his arms and to savor this feeling that he didn’t want to lose or diminish in any way. This feeling of being loved. He’d finally taken that big step, and now all he had to do was see it through—with Abby.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
THEY HADN’T SAID A WORD during the passionate lovemaking, and Abby still wasn’t ready to talk. She just wanted to hold on to the joy she was feeling. How had she existed before he’d touched her? Her hand began to trail down his side, loving the way his skin felt under her fingers.
“Abby, I can’t think when you do that.”
“You don’t need to think,” she said wickedly, as her tongue found his flat nipple and teased it. With him she was brazen and daring; he brought out the sensual side of her personality—a side she was beginning to enjoy to the fullest.
“Ab-by,” he groaned.
She turned her head to look at him. “You like that? You want me to stroke any other places?”
He grinned. “I don’t think you have to.”
A bubble of laughter escaped her as she felt his hardness against her.
“That’s what you do to me,” he murmured raggedly. “When you first came to Brewster Farms, all I had to do was look at you and that would happen, so I kept my distance and made a point of speaking to you as little as possible.”