by Linda Warren
“That’s why you were so mean to me?” She pouted her lips, then rained kisses along his chin. “That’s a pity, because every time I looked at you I thought about ripping your clothes off. I’d sworn off men, but I had all these naughty thoughts concerning you.”
She stretched along his body and felt every muscle in him tighten. She giggled in delight and found herself on her back, smiling into his desire-filled eyes. His mouth took hers as he slid inside her, and all laughter disappeared as she gave herself up to the erotic pleasure of making love with Jonas. He began to move slowly, their breath and tongues mingling and their hearts beating rapidly against each other as waves of ecstasy grew, then washed through them.
This climax was swift and powerful. Abby moaned and writhed beneath him with abandonment. She would never grow tired of this. Her heart and body had been waiting for him forever. “I love you,” she whispered.
Totally replete, he lay beside her, hearing those words over and over. It was like a needle stuck in a groove and the sound wouldn’t stop until he acknowledged his own feelings. He felt his heart open and the words surge to his throat, but his vocal cords wouldn’t work.
Abby soothed his roughened cheek with her finger, and he took it into his mouth and stared into her eyes, hoping to convey what he was feeling.
Abby saw the struggle in his eyes and knew how hard it was for him to voice his emotions. She understood and she would be patient.
Jonas scooted up against the headboard and pulled her back against him. His arms locked so tightly around her that she thought her ribs were going to crack. She didn’t mind, though. She didn’t mind at all.
Abby stroked the hands around her waist. “You okay?”
“Yeah.” He kissed the side of her face.
She rubbed the back of her head against his chest, and they were silent for a while. Then Abby spoke. “I talked to my mother today.”
“Oh, Abby. I’m glad.”
“We talked about that time,” she went on, needing to tell Jonas everything. “I never realized my parents were separated and thinking of getting a divorce.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, my dad had moved out. Mom said that he was tired of her pressuring him to have a child. He told her he’d be filing for divorce because he’d had enough. He moved in with a friend. I didn’t ask who and I really don’t want to know, but I have a suspicion it was another woman.”
Jonas didn’t answer.
“I always saw them as parents, that’s it. Two people who were perfect and had a solid marriage, but now I see them as humans with desires, drives and needs. It’s so different, and I’m trying to understand.” She paused. “You know what?”
“No, what?”
“I keep thinking that if I had met you while I was married to Kyle, I’d probably have cheated on him like he always accused me of doing.”
“No, you wouldn’t have,” he assured her. “Your conscience wouldn’t let you. I know you well enough to know that.”
“I’m not sure. I’m shameless when it comes to you.”
He nuzzled her hair. “We’ll keep that our secret,” he said, then added. “You’re not like your mother, Abby. You probably got your strength from Brewster. Your mother doesn’t have that. She was weak and made bad choices. She was human, like you said.”
“I suppose.”
“It’s not your fault,” he told her. “You’re the victim in all this.”
“Yes,” she agreed. “Now I have to go on.”
Silence stretched.
She played with his fingers. “I saw the article in the paper. Why did he do that?”
“I think he felt he owed it to you, and he’s getting his affairs in order. He’s dying, Abby, and he knows it.”
Abby’s heart constricted with something she didn’t expect…an ache. Her father was dying.
Sensing her distress, Jonas told her how he and Brewster had drawn closer together the past few weeks. He told her of their many talks and the revelation about Brewster’s son.
“I’m glad you weren’t angry, because as much as you don’t want to admit it, I believe Mr. Brewster saved you from a life of crime.”
“Yep.” Jonas took a long breath. “I finally realized that. And Brewster apologized for the way he’d first treated me. He vented his grief, anger and guilt on me, and I took it because I felt I deserved to be treated like that.”
“And now you’ve resolved everything and forgiven him?”
“Yes,” he replied without hesitation. Somehow he and Brewster had found a bridge from the past to the present. Now he had to help Abby do the same. They had no future until that happened.
“It’s time to come back to Hope, Abby,” he said softly.
She inhaled deeply. “I know and I can do it now…and I will.”
Jonas felt a moment of relief. He didn’t know what he would have done if she’d refused. “I’ll be right beside you,” he promised, and kissed her. He pulled the covers over them and they sank into the softness of the bed. Abby reached over and turned off the light.
She was quiet for a moment, then asked, “What made you come to Dallas?”
He shifted uncomfortably. He couldn’t escape her questions, and he certainly didn’t want to escape her. So he had to tell her the truth. “I called yesterday and I guess your friend answered.” He stopped as something occurred to him. “Your friend was here earlier. Where did she go?”
“She lives two doors down. I’m sure she went home. You were saying?”
“I was shocked to hear another woman’s voice, and when I didn’t answer, she thought I was your ex-husband. She started speaking to me as if I was him. She said you’d gone to the restaurant to meet him and something about how he’d got what he wanted. I couldn’t imagine why you’d be seeing him, and before I realized what I was doing, I was packed and on my way. I was gonna make damn sure he didn’t hurt you again.”
She kissed his chest. “I had to finish with Kyle, once and for all. He thought since he’d straightened out his life that I should be willing to come back to him. He wouldn’t stop calling me and my friends.”
His arm tightened around her. “How did it go?”
“He won’t be calling me again…ever.”
“Good, because I’d hate to have to look him up and get the point across—man to man.”
She smiled in the darkness and caressed his face. “Were you jealous?”
“No. Yes. Maybe a little.”
“It’s all right to be jealous…a little,” she told him.
He held her tight, and they drifted into blissful sleep.
THEY HAD PLANNED to be up early to make plane reservations for Brownsville. But the moment they opened their eyes with their naked bodies pressed against each other, that plan went south. They made passionate love again. After a lengthy shower together that surpassed any sensual fantasy she’d had of this event, they managed to get dressed. It felt natural to have Jonas in her apartment, in her bed, sharing all the little intimate pleasures with him. She wished they could stay here forever and shut out the rest of the world. She knew once they walked out the door that things would change. She had to go, though. There was no other way.
Jonas held her hand on the plane, and when she leaned over and kissed him, a woman across the aisle whispered, “Newlyweds.”
They weren’t, and Abby couldn’t help wondering what the future held. She wasn’t sure, but she knew she wasn’t leaving Jonas again. She wanted marriage and a family, and they hadn’t talked about any of those things.
“Are you still planning on leaving when Mr. Brewster…dies?”
“Yes, Brewster and I talked about it. There’ll be nothing there for me when he goes. He understands that.”
“I see,” she said dismally.
He must have caught that note in her voice. “Abby.”
“Hmm?”
“You sound distant.”
“I was thinking about the future.”
He rubbed her h
and. “I know it’s difficult for you, but you have to resolve things with Brewster and your mother.”
He’d completely misunderstood her. She wasn’t thinking about Mr. Brewster or her mother.
“What will you do when you leave here?”
“I don’t know. I thought I’d hang out in your apartment for a while. Do you think that’s a possibility?”
She smiled. “Most definitely.” As long as she was in his future, that was all that mattered. But she knew that Jonas was used to wide-open spaces, fresh air and sunshine. A tiny apartment would stifle him. They’d talk about it later, she decided, and work it out.
They landed in Brownsville. It took a while to find their luggage and get through the airport, but soon they were headed for Jonas’s truck.
As they drew nearer to Hope, Abby’s nerve began to weaken. “I’m not sure I can do this.”
Jonas glanced at her, then reached out and caught her hand. “If you don’t try, I think you’ll regret it.”
“I keep thinking that, too, but I have this bitter feeling I can’t seem to shake.”
“Once you see him, maybe that will change. He’s so different, and I think you’ll notice that and respond in kind.”
“I hope so,” she murmured. “How long does he have?”
“I don’t know. The doctor’s with him every day. He said it could be a matter of days.”
When she didn’t say anything, he said, “Abby, if you don’t want to see him, you don’t have to. Let’s wait until we get to the mansion before you make that decision.”
“Okay,” she replied, and stared out the window. She knew they were getting close to Hope when she saw the flat agriculture fields of plowed-under crops. Farmers were preparing the land for spring planting. The smaller farms didn’t do business during the winter season, but Brewster Farms never shut down. They operated all year. The winter months dictated a smaller scale of crops due to weather conditions.
She wondered how Jonas was going to leave here. Farming was his whole life. He knew how to produce crops, harvest and market them. He did it better than anyone. That’s why Brewster Farms was so successful.
“Do you want to go to your mom’s first?” Jonas asked, interrupting her thoughts. She realized she was trying to think of anything but what she had to.
She brushed her hair back. “I’d rather not.” She could only handle one thing at a time.
They drove through the iron gates to the mansion. It seemed forever since she’d come here to write Mr. Brewster’s memoirs.
Jonas reached into the back seat and brought out a gift bag. He handed it to her. “I have something for you.”
For a second she was disconcerted, but she took it and pulled out something wrapped in white tissue paper. Carefully she folded back the tissue and gasped. It was the denim jacket she’d lost in Mexico.
“Oh, Jonas, I can’t believe you did this,” she cried, holding up the jacket. “You went back and found it.”
“No, the other one is long gone. I found the old lady and bought another. She makes each one a little different.”
She threw her arms around his neck. “Thank you, Jonas.”
He groaned. “When you say thank you like that, I want to do one thing.”
“What?” She gazed into his eyes.
“This—” he answered a moment before his mouth covered hers. They kissed over and over. Finally they came up for air, and she slipped on the jacket.
“What do you think?”
“Beautiful, like the woman wearing it.” She went into his arms, and they held each other.
“Ready?” he whispered.
She nodded and got out of the truck. There were several cars parked in the drive. Abby recognized Edna’s and Darby’s.
“The doctor’s here,” Jonas remarked as they walked up the steps. At the front door he stopped and turned to her. “You okay?”
“Yes,” she said, and she knew she was. Mr. Brewster was dying. It was an ending, and she had to see him one more time—that was the only way she’d have a new beginning.
Edna, Jules and Darby sat in the hallway outside Mr. Brewster’s room. Edna got to her feet when she saw Abby.
“What’s she doing here?”
“Don’t start, Edna,” Jonas warned, “or you might find yourself on the outside looking in.”
“Don’t threaten me,” she snapped indignantly. “We’ve been here for Simon. Where has she been?”
Before Jonas could reply, the doctor came out. A short, thin man with wire-rimmed glasses. “Oh, Jonas, I’m glad you’re here. He’s been asking for you,” the doctor said.
“How is he?” Jonas asked.
The doctor shook his head. “I don’t know what’s keeping him alive. His kidneys have shut down, his heart beats for a while then it stops, but he’s still coherent. He just won’t let go. I’ve never seen anything like this. It’s like he’s waiting for something. Maybe he’s waiting for you.”
“No, I think he’s waiting for someone else.” Jonas glanced at Abby, then asked, “Is it all right if we see him?”
“Sure,” the doctor answered. “I’m going to my office, but I’ll be back later.”
“Let me see him first,” Jonas whispered to Abby. “I’d better prepare him.”
“Okay,” she said, feeling a knot form in her stomach so tight that she had trouble breathing. She was glad when the others didn’t speak to her. She couldn’t handle their barbs at that moment.
Jonas stepped into the room, and his heart constricted. The old man was so pale and still that Jonas wasn’t sure he was breathing. He moved to the bed, and the nurse busied herself in another area of the room.
Suddenly Brewster turned his head as if he sensed someone was there. “Jonas, is that you?” His voice was weak and low.
Jonas swallowed before he could answer. “Yes, it’s me.”
“Where have you been? I’ve been worried. Thought you left.”
“No, remember we have a deal,” Jonas told him lightly. “I’m not going any where until…” He couldn’t finished the sentence.
“Until I die,” Brewster finished for him. “You can say it, Jonas. I know it’s happening.”
“I brought someone to see you,” Jonas said quickly, to change the subject.
Brewster shook his head. “I don’t want to see anyone.”
“I think you’ll want to see this person.” Jonas went over and opened the door.
Abby took a shuddering breath and walked inside. Jonas led her to the bed. The moment she saw his frailty, all the bitterness, anger and resentment faded away. This was her father, she kept thinking, and she barely knew him. Oh God, oh God, this was her father.
Brewster opened his eyes and stared at her. A light burned bright in the inner depths. “Abigail, Abigail, oh, Abigail,” he moaned in distress.
Jonas stepped closer. “Yes, it’s Abigail. She’s come to see you.”
Tears rolled from his eyes onto the pillow, and Abby had to bite her lip to keep emotions from overpowering her.
“Thank you, Jonas, and thank you, Abigail. I don’t deserve this.”
Jonas pulled up a chair for Abby, and she was grateful because her legs were wobbly.
“I’m sorry,” Mr. Brewster said, his voice weakening. “I got selfish. I wanted you to know, but I should have left you with your memories. Sometimes that’s all we have.”
Abby wasn’t sure what to say. It was very clear Mr. Brewster was seeking forgiveness and atonement for everything he’d done. In that instant she knew she’d already forgiven him.
She held her hands tightly. “Thank you for the article.”
“You’re welcome.” He sighed tiredly.
Without thinking, she quickly added, “I’ve been listening to the tapes you dictated, and if you want, I’ll finish your memoirs.”
Mr. Brewster held out a hand and slowly she placed hers in his. His fingers moved, but that was the only strength he had. As his hand fell to the bed, a sob rose up in
her throat.
Frantically she glanced at his chest, afraid that he’d stopped breathing. Suddenly his chest started to move. She let out a long sigh of relief. It was too soon. He couldn’t die just yet. It was too soon.
Jonas gently helped her to her feet, and they made their way out the door past the others and onto the front veranda. Outside, he folded her in his arms, and she allowed herself to cry silent, aching sobs. After a while she brushed away the tears.
“I never realized it would be like that,” she choked. “I just felt so…I can’t explain it, but I wanted him to stop hurting. I wanted him to know so many things, and I didn’t know how to say them. I’m a writer and I was at a loss for words.”
“You did fine,” he assured her. “He understood.”
“You think so?”
“Yes.” He helped brush away tears with his fore-finger. “He’s not asking a lot. He just wanted to see you before he died.”
“He’s so different. I once thought he was evil, but I didn’t see any of that just now.”
“That part of him is gone, and soon the rest will be, too. Life hasn’t been too kind to Simon Brewster.”
“It’s so sad and I…I…”
He slipped his fingers through her hair and held her head. “What?” he asked softly.
“I wish I didn’t feel this guilt about my father…the man who loved and raised me.”
“Oh, Abby.” He kissed her forehead. “It will get better with time. Abe loved you all the years when you were a little girl, an active teenager and a young adult. No one can take those memories from you or him. Abe took those memories to the grave, and nothing will ever change that—not even knowing that Simon Brewster is your biological father.”
She wrapped her arms around his waist and rested against him. Jonas was right. She couldn’t change a thing. She had her memories, and she cherished that.
“I think I’d like to see my mother now,” she whispered.
Hand in hand they walked to the truck. Before she got in, she glanced back at the house one more time. How much time was left? she wondered. How much time was left to know her father?
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
WHEN THEY REACHED her mother’s house, Jonas said, “You want me to come in with you?”