In the Crease (Assassins Book 11)

by Toni Aleo

  Don’t get a hard-on, don’t get a hard-on.

  And God, she smelled like heaven.

  “Don’t cry,” he whispered through tight lips.

  “I hate fighting with him. He’s such a tool, thinking he’s right and shit.”

  “I know, I’m sorry. But he’ll stop, I promise.”

  She shook in his arms as her own came around him. “He said I’m using you. You don’t think that, do you?”

  Shaking his head against her, he dusted her forehead with kisses. “Of course I don’t think that, Wren. I would never assume you could do that to anyone.”

  She nodded against his lips as she held him closer, her tears wetting his chest. “I couldn’t, but especially not to you.”

  “I know that.”

  “Okay.”

  “Okay, now, shh. Calm down, it’s fine.”

  She nodded once more as her nose nuzzled his chest, and his eyes fell shut. Her hair was tangled around his fingers, and he swore she wasn’t wearing a bra through that thin tee, but it didn’t matter. She wasn’t ready for him. Though, he was very, very ready for her. It was pure torture to hold her and not strip her bare to taste every single inch of her.

  “Jensen?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Have you been with anyone recently?”

  His breath caught. “No.”

  “How long?”

  “Almost a year.” He rested his chin on her head as he asked, “You?”

  “Seven months.”

  He swallowed hard. “He was the last guy you slept with? The father, I mean.”

  “Yeah,” she whispered before stillness fell over them. He thought she was asleep, but then she whispered, “He really messed me up, Jenny.”

  His eyes drifted shut. “Give me a name, and I’ll kill him with my bare hands.”

  She smiled against his chest. “I never took you to be violent.”

  “For you, I can be.”

  Tipping her head back, she gazed up at him, her eyes dark and sinful as she whispered, “Were you serious about the making love part?”

  She was going to drive him insane. Swallowing hard, he nodded. “Yes.”

  “So you’re sexually attracted to me?”

  He almost choked on the word. “Yes.”

  “Can I tell you something and have you not laugh at me?”

  “Of course,” he whispered back, his whole body fighting to restrain him from kissing her and taking her to oblivion.

  She’s trying to talk. Get it together!

  “He made it to where I didn’t even want to be naked in front of anyone.”

  Well, that was a straight dose of cold water. “What? How?”

  “By saying the stupid shit he did. He always made comments about my weight, and that’s probably why I haven’t been with anyone else. I don’t know. It’s stupid.”

  He was flabbergasted. “Wren, that is stupid. Because of that dumb fuck? Just ’cause he doesn’t appreciate a beautiful, curvy woman doesn’t mean there aren’t other guys out there who would.”

  Her eyes fell shut a bit as she moved her lips up his chin to the spot below his mouth. “Like you?”

  Wetting his lips, he swallowed past the lump in his throat. “Yes.”

  When she took ahold of his lip between her teeth, his fingers bit into her back as he gulped harshly. “Good.”

  Then her lips were on his, feverishly, and he wanted to laugh.

  He really thought he could resist this girl?

  The one who starred in all his dreams?

  He wasn’t sure he was that strong.

  Wren swore she had never kissed someone like Jensen.

  And she had been through her fair share of men.

  But he kissed with a certain kind of something. She couldn’t place it, but when he kissed her, it was as if he did it with his whole body. His legs tangled with hers, his hands threaded through her hair as his lips devoured hers. She had been the one to kiss him first, but somehow, he had taken over. It was as if each kiss was his last with her, and his caresses left her utterly breathless.

  Sliding her center along his leg, she gasped against his lips, and she knew this was it. The moment when she’d get him naked.

  Praise God.

  But just as her hand slid down from the small of his back into his boxers, he pulled away, exhaling as he met her gaze. Nothing but heat and lust swirled in his chocolate depths, his whole body almost vibrating against hers. Or maybe that was hers, she wasn’t sure. “Well…”

  “Yeah, come here,” she breathed as she moved against him, but he held his head back, his breath rasping harshly against her lips.

  Swallowing hard, he bit out. “You need rest. You have a big day tomorrow.”

  “A big day? I have work.”

  “And shopping. We both hate that, so I’m sure it will be just so much fun.”

  “And I’m good. Promise,” she insisted, but he moved away from her, detangled himself as he rolled to his back, running his hands down his face.

  “Yeah,” he said, blowing out a breath as he stared up at the ceiling. “But I’m tired.”

  “Too tired to do me?”

  “Yup,” he said with a simple nod, still not looking at her.

  “Jensen, I’ve seen you play ninety minutes of hockey without batting an eye—”

  “This is true, but I’m out of shape.”

  Lifting the blanket, she took in his hard as ice abs and perfectly toned chest. “Out of shape?”

  “It’s all a ruse. Don’t look at that,” he said, putting the blanket back down and holding it tightly against his chest. “Yeah, so goodnight.”

  He rolled over, and she just stared at the middle of his back. What in the world was happening? Did he just turn her down? Was it the sweat pants? She knew she should have come out in a thong, but she was nervous about her legs. They were so dimply since she had gotten pregnant. At least under the blankets, he wouldn’t see them. But he apparently did not want to see anything. Hadn’t he said he was attracted to her? What the hell?

  “You’re serious?” She found herself asking. But she was answered with very exaggerated snoring. “Really?”

  “Sleeping,” he said then, and she sputtered with laughter. “You should too.”

  “Okay,” she drew out, sighing out a breath before she cuddled deeper in the bed. “Not sure why we’re not doing it.”

  When he didn’t answer her, her brows pulled in even more as she chewed on her lips. Hadn’t he said he wanted to make love, or whatever the hell he called it? If that was the case, why weren’t they doing it? Maybe he was having second thoughts. Maybe he was just lying to her. Crap. No, wait, that was good. Right? Shit. Why didn’t it feel right? Why did she feel like curling up in a ball and crying? She thought he wanted her. She heard him on the phone with Wells, how he stood up for her when he didn’t have to. And the way he kissed her… It felt like he wanted her. Did her breath stink?

  Blowing on her hand, she thought it smelled like toothpaste, so she wasn’t sure. Looking back over at him, the low-lit lamp the only source of light on his back, she furrowed her brow more. It didn’t make sense. But what didn’t make sense most of all was the fact that she was annoyed by this. If he didn’t want her, good. That meant when the six months were over, they could walk away with no ill feelings. Maybe he was realizing that, and his silly terms were no more.

  That should be good.

  They’d raise a kid, together, as friends. That was it.

  She’d get more than she wanted, and that was good.

  But then why did she feel so fucking shitty?

  Staring back at his perfectly sculpted back as his shoulders rose and fell, she narrowed her eyes.

  Stupid Jensen.

  Stupid feelings.

  Stupid her for doing what she didn’t want to do.

  Right?

  She didn’t want this.

  Why didn’t that feel right?

  Crap.

  Why was she such a fuc
king mess?

  “I would have picked you up.”

  Wren waved Jensen off as she got out of the car and reached for her purse. She knew he would have. But she didn’t want him to. She needed the distance. Her feelings were all out of whack, and it was pissing her off. He would say something like he had last night…and then he didn’t have sex with her. He was confusing, and she was getting pissed. Or maybe she was sexually frustrated. Or both. Either way, distance was the key. “No reason to drive two cars.” He leaned toward her, pressing his lips to the corner of her mouth before he smiled against her lips as her face stayed frozen in stone. “I really like this dress.”

  She looked down at her little T-shirt dress that used to be big on her, but not any longer, as she held in her not-nice retort. “But you didn’t want me naked,” she muttered. Well, she’d tried to hold it in. Looking up at him to see if he’d heard her, she saw his brows pulled together.

  “What?”

  “Nothing, I said thanks,” she grumbled, and she hated how annoyed she still was. So he didn’t want to have sex with her on their wedding night. It was supposed to be a fake marriage anyway.

  Asshole.

  When he didn’t fall into step with her, she looked back at him. “You coming?”

  His eyes narrowed a bit as he shook his head. “Pretty sure that’s not what you said.”

  “Oh, well. Let’s go and get this over with.”

  “Why are you pissy?”

  “I’m not. Let’s go.”

  “You are.”

  “Aren’t.”

  “Are,” he said simply, his eyes holding hers. “Quicker you tell me, the quicker I can either fix it or tell you to get over it.”

  Rolling her eyes, she started for Babies“R”Us as he fell into step with her, his hands tucked into the pockets of his shorts. She couldn’t see his eyes behind his dark sunglasses, but he looked annoyed. Which was damn fine with her.

  Jerk.

  “Or you can just ignore the issue.”

  “That seems best,” she muttered as together they walked through the sliding doors before he reached for a cart. He leaned on it, pushing his glasses up as he rolled beside her. Looking at the cart and then him, she raised a brow as she pushed her own sunglasses up into her hair. “We need a cart?”

  He shrugged. “I think so. My mom sent us five hundred bucks to buy stuff for the baby, and then your mom told me to pick out a crib, on her.”

  Wren glared, more irritation filling her. “She didn’t tell me that.”

  “She said she tried calling you earlier, but you were in sessions all morning. I texted you that too.”

  Pulling out her phone, she saw his text and then her mom’s and dad’s texts. Well, then. Tucking her phone back into her purse, her lips pressed together, she rolled her eyes. “Oh. I was in a rush to get here. I didn’t want to be late.”

  “It’s okay, no big,” he said simply as he headed toward the clothing section, but she was reluctant, as if it were scary or something. But since he was still moving, she trudged ahead. How bad could it be? It was clothing, not a monster house. But as soon as they entered the boys section, Wren’s heart jumped into her throat, and panic took over. She liked Walmart, stuff was on an end cap, and not overwhelming at all. But here…yeah, it was different here.

  Her eyes widened as she took in her surroundings. Her heart was pounding so hard it hurt in her chest, and she could hear it in her ears. There was so much blue. So much cuteness and…were those little baby Chucks? Babies had Chucks!

  “Wren? You okay?”

  She couldn’t answer him though. Her throat had closed up, her heart was beating out of control, making her eyes vibrate as she gazed around them. Dinosaurs, little ducks, bears, and more stared back at her as she drew in a ragged breath. She wasn’t sure what he would like. What if he wanted bears, and she bought dinosaurs! It was all just so adorable, but crap, she was going to be a mom!

  And she was a wife!

  Jensen’s wife.

  And he wouldn’t even have sex with her.

  Holy. Shit.

  “I should go call your mom and mine, thank them,” she blurted out, but before she could even move, Jensen had his arms around her, holding her close to him, his lips by her ear. She tried to get away; she had to get away. She had to breathe.

  This was not distance.

  “Whoa there, Wren, breathe.”

  Closing her eyes as his arms came around her a little tighter, she figured she wasn’t going anywhere. His hold was like a vise grip, but she didn’t want his comfort. She was mad, and she was freaking the fuck out. Her body, though, didn’t get that memo because the next thing she knew, she melted against him on an exhale. Kissing her earlobe, he whispered, “Tell me what’s wrong. Do you not want to shop? Did I do something wrong?”

  Her lips started to itch, as did her eyes as she squeezed them shut to keep her tears in. He didn’t realize how loaded his question was, and there was no way she was going to unload on him in the middle of this baby store. Dragging in a breath, she shook her head. “It’s just so real. Being here. Looking at this stuff.”

  He nodded against her cheek, his lips moving along her ear. “I know.”

  “I’m fucking scared.”

  “I know,” he said once more, kissing the spot below her ear. “But you’re not alone. I’m right here. See? I’m not going anywhere. Here, breathe with me.”

  Soon he was taking in deep breaths and letting them out slowly. She followed suit, though the need to run was great. But she didn’t move. She buried her nose into his shoulder, inhaling his woodsy scent before she let it out slowly, breathing with him while getting completely intoxicated by him. She felt safe in his arms. Like nothing could touch her, and while that freaked her out even more than the fact that she was standing in the middle of a baby store buying baby shit for her baby, she didn’t move. She stayed in his arms, which was probably a fool move. But then, she was a fool. A fool who didn’t know what the hell she wanted. One who got knocked up by a dickhead and had her best guy friend take on all the responsibility. What was she doing? How could she be so selfish? He didn’t even want her. It was out of pity.

  As he trailed kisses along her temple and ear, she melted even more into him. But yet, if he really wasn’t into her, why did his kisses feel so real? “Feel better?”

  “A little,” she said against his neck. “I feel stupid.”

  “Does this happen a lot? Not the stupid part, but the freak-out?” He laughed softly, and she shrugged.

  “Only when I look at baby stuff. It legit freaks me out.”

  “I mean, I know I just came on board, but it freaks me out too, Wren.”

  “But you can drop out at any time.”

  “But I won’t,” he said simply. “I’m in this, for him and for you. He’s mine as you are mine.”

  Her heart clenched in her chest, unsure what to believe. Her mind or his words. Words were such shit, though. His actions spoke louder, and he didn’t want her. But he was holding her in the middle of the boys clothing section, not letting go.

  What did it all mean?

  Just fucking ask him, you idiot!

  “I don’t want to be a shit mom.”

  He pulled back, looking down at her as his hands came up to cup her face. “You are going to be an awesome mom.”

  Getting lost in his eyes, she couldn’t move. “I don’t know that I will be.”

  But he only nodded, his eyes full of the confidence she lacked, as he leaned down, pressing his lips to her nose. “You will be, because I’ll be there to help you. To be behind you, one hundred percent. Two are better than one, you know.” His lips curved in a goofy way. Loving the playfulness in his eyes, she found herself smiling back at him. “Not so stressful when there is someone there to make you smile. Do it more.”

  She swallowed hard. “I don’t usually have a reason to.”

  He took that as a challenge. “That will have to change.” Gazing into her eyes, he tuc
ked her hair behind her ear. “It’s all going to be okay. Having a kid is great, I promise. We’re going to do great.”

  We’re.

  Together?

  Or apart?

  Wait, that didn’t matter.

  “I already love him,” she said, more to herself.

  “You don’t have tell me that, Wren, I know you do.”

  Her heart slowed a bit as she shrugged, looking away. “I just hope I don’t suck at it.”

  “You won’t,” he promised as he tipped her chin up. “I believe in you.”

  “You do?”

  He kissed her lips. “I do.”

  And with that, her heart shattered in her chest. He believed in her. No one had ever told her that. Her parents were always proud, she knew that, but they never believed in her. Then, had she given them a chance to believe in her since she had gotten pregnant? No, she’d hidden it right off the bat because she knew they would be disappointed. They’d judge her. But Jensen hadn’t done that from the beginning.

  He was just there for her.

  Which was confusing as hell.

  Shaking her head, she moved out of his arms, needing the distance. “Thank you.”

  “Always.”

  She gave him a sideways glance as his hand came to the small of her back. She hadn’t realized how much that little gesture would mean until she looked around once more. This time she didn’t feel like she was drowning in her panic, she actually felt somewhat confident. Excited, sort of. Not much, but a little. It was silly, but she did. Leaning in toward her, he pointed toward the crib area. “So, tell me, you’re digging the Disney’s Baby Monsters, right?”

  When she looked up at him, he was grinning, his eyes so full of eagerness. “You don’t want the puppies playing sports?”

  “No, there isn’t a hockey stick anywhere on there. Which is bullshit, by the way.”

  “Agreed, but I heard there is a hockey set online I could order, but it’s pricey. I bet the Monsters are cheaper.”

  His smile dropped, all seriousness on his face. “Really?”

  Her grin grew. “Yeah.”

  “Done, we’re getting that, and I don’t care how much it costs. He needs that.”