Tuksook's Story, 35,000 BC

by Bonnye Matthews

  “Wisdom?”

  “Yes.”

  “I’m blessed in the shower of roses to be alive now. I would not like to be there when the ice comes.”

  “You are blessed by living in the time in which you live—more than you can know.”

  “Will the sky lights remain?”

  “Yes, Tuksook, they will remain.”

  “Why are you showing me this?”

  “Sometimes, Tuksook, you’ll find that, if you can see far ahead, it makes it much easier for you to turn loose of things that hurt you.”

  “The baby?”

  “Yes. Here is something else I’ll share. Watch.”

  Tuksook looked at the vision Wisdom created for her. In it she saw, first, a man in his prime. The man did not have a sloping forehead. He was tall and stood straight and strong. Second, she saw the man fighting with his People against another group. His group was outnumbered. Yet with odd weapons, the function of which she failed to understand, the man’s group of People fought off the others, killing every one of them.

  “That is a descendant of Toagrurt’s. He lives far, far into the future. He becomes a leader of the People in the fight of their lives. Through his responsibility, diligence, and discipline, he saves the People.”

  “Toagrurt’s descendant! How wonderful! What happens after the fight?”

  “They move from the north by the sea far inland to avoid the people who will come by boat and have easy access to the land where they fought. They become a quiet hidden People, but People who don’t have to continue to make war to keep their land. Even so, the knowledge of living to have to fight is part of what is new to these People as they change. Hunters become hunter/warriors, and hunting tools also become tools of war along with new tools developed for war.”

  “Oh, so despite the change, some of how we live is still part of them? If I understand, they’d prefer not to fight but know they have to be prepared in case it’s necessary.”

  “Yes, Tuksook. You have lived in the time of peace. It has lasted a long time. It began with the volcano during Ki’ti’s life. Many people died from that eruption. The time of peace followed that eruption. The time of war comes. When the great ice sheets melt, the world of peace melts and changes to a world of war. There have always been some wars and some warriors. Now, the balance shifts. The rule will be war, not peace as is the case now. The life line of the time of war will be long. If permitted, people in the world of war would destroy the earth, but I will not permit that theft of my power.”

  “That makes me understand better.”

  “How’s that?” Wisdom asked knowing the answer.

  “Well, first, I’m glad I live now. It means that what we do today will continue to matter in the future, and despite the balance shift there will be some peace. The balance shift will still require new learning and new ways of living. It looks as if People will have to be prepared for war, even if they’re at peace. It seems we help maintain the balance with the desire for peace, so they don’t destroy themselves.”

  “Of course, what you do today will matter, just as the things done at the time of Ki’ti and Manak-na matter to you today. Gumui knew about building a bent tree house, something he learned from the stories. You knew to seek refuge in the bent tree house when the ash from the volcano fell. The People learned that from the ancient stories. Yes, the way of peace you know leaves with the coming of the ice. The mind webs and bellies of men will change as the earth changes. They will come to seek war, not avoid it. They will seek for bloated gain, not only for what they need. They will seek an empty dominance over others, as if they were gods. Yes, the descendants of the People will carry the torch of peace in the mind webs of those to come, so they don’t forget. Sometimes, they will find it hard to hear your reminders, but your presence will help keep the balance.”

  “It makes me sad that all I walk on today will be gone one day. It frightens me that People will change to such extent.”

  “It shouldn’t sadden or frighten you. All things change always. The certainty of life is that life will experience change. What you walk on matters not; what you live in matters not; what you eat matters not; what you are—that matters today and forever. Ease yourself with the memory that what you are will touch memories of peace in the time of war.”

  “I begin to understand, Wisdom.”

  “Yes, you do.”

  “It’s overwhelming to realize that the cold I felt flying over Eagle’s Grasp the first time is a very thick piece of ice.”

  “Look at this.”

  Wisdom made the vision change so Tuksook could see the world of the sea the People traveled and much of the land north of the middle of the earth. She could see the ice on the land at the north extending from sea to sea. It covered so much area it took her breath.

  “Wisdom, it’s huge. Where will my People seek refuge?”

  “Do you see how the ice doesn’t completely cover the area? North of where you live there is space where the ice is missing. They must go far to the north. It is there your People will find refuge. Life will be very tough, but they are tough and will survive. It is best they go very far north, as far as to the sea. A smaller number of the People will go far to the south.”

  “Wisdom, I am overwhelmed.”

  “All’s well, Tuksook. When you awaken you will remember all I have showed you. You may share with Gumui, but he must not repeat anything he hears from you. I know that he will not. Remember that all you can share with the People is this: tell them that when the heavy snow comes, go far north or take a boat far south. Go immediately. Do not share the knowledge of the heavy ice with them. Only the heavy snow.”

  Before she had time to ask a question, Tuksook found herself back in the green tunnel on her return to her sleeping place. Returned to her place, Tuksook continued to sleep for most of the rest of the day.

  When she awakened, she saw Gumui there.

  “The evening meal is about to begin. I cancelled the council for tonight.”

  “Thank you, Gumui.”

  “Come, let’s eat.”

  Tuksook did not want to stand up, dress, or eat, but Gumui’s face was so encouraging, that she could not fail to do as he asked. He brought her a comb, so she could make her hair presentable. She walked with him to the food preparation place, feeling odd, as if this world were one where she visited and the other was where she lived. Tuksook had a strange smile when she thought of a world that Wisdom created for her—a world that definitely wasn’t real—a world that in many ways somehow felt more real than the real world. She did not speak of those feelings to anyone. She looked at the meadow, one of the most special places of her life, and thought of it mashed under so much ice, the dirt washed out to sea, and then the place where the meadow used to be buried under salt water. It was an awesome thought.

  Tuksook and Gumui walked to the trash heap together to empty the remains from their bowls. Tuksook said, “Walk with me somewhere we will be alone, for I need to share.”

  “Let’s go to the rock, then. Can you make the climb?”

  “Yes, I can.”

  They climbed up to the rock and sat on its still warm surface.

  “What do you have to share, Tuksook?”

  “When I slept, I dreamed. Wisdom filled the dream.”

  “Oh, did you ask about your pregnancies?” Gumui asked as he took her hand in his.

  “Wisdom said the old People will seem to die off because they are not as able to survive the future as those who are of the Minguat heritage. He says that time comes closer now. Birth problems have been going on back to the time of Ki’ti and Manak-na. We are at the end of it. But Wisdom did not mention me specifically. He told of a change the earth is taking. In some ways the earth’s changing is like the People’s changing. It’s not soon, but it is certain. Remember I told you of the cold I experienced over the land when I flew over Eagle’s Grasp the first time?’

  “I remember,” he said wondering why she mentioned that.

>   “Wisdom showed it to me. I saw way into the future, Gumui. I can share with you, but you are not allowed to talk with anyone about what you hear from me.”

  “You have my promise and I vow to Wisdom I will listen only. Wisdom knows I don’t repeat things from others. I speak only of what I know directly.”

  “I love you, Gumui.”

  “Well, what did you see?”

  “This land on which we live. I saw the changes that will come to it.” Her eyes were large and her face was focused seriousness.

  Tuksook continued. “A heavy snow will fall. It will grow worse and worse. The snow will turn to ice. Where we live will be covered with ice. The ice will be thicker than the meadow is long. More than five times as high as the meadow is long.”

  “Are you serious?” Gumui had difficulty imagining what she described.

  “Yes.”

  “That will destroy everything we know.” Gumui was shocked. Tuksook had just lost a baby and here she was talking about Wisdom’s sharing what would happen in the future with another loss.

  “Shhhhh. That’s what I’m trying to explain.”

  “Were you ripped apart when you saw this?”

  “It wasn’t a time for feeling but for learning,” Tuksook said, as if she were back there. “Wisdom showed me what he did, so I can understand that all living things change—even the earth. All is temporary. Knowing what will come helped me turn loose of some of the grief I feel over the loss of our little one.” She paused. “I guess that sounds strange. I simply have a greater understanding now, knowing that all is temporary even to the earth, all except, I think, Wisdom. All living things are temporary. Wisdom gives life. Wisdom is life and created life—that must be different from being a living, created thing. Wisdom exists outside of time. I am convinced that Wisdom is eternity, without life line. As for us, People with my ancestry will cease to bear. Our line will not continue except as it is carried in the bodies of the others who are part of our descendants. The others will be changed because they carry us and others. We will not be lost; we will become, how can I put this? We will become secondary,” she paused, “Yes, secondary is a good word for it. We will be secondary in a temporary world. We will still have an effect, but our effect will be secondary.”

  “The earth will experience great change. The great ice will move the land. It will take enormous parts of this land, including our meadow, push it, and deposit it out at sea. It will be so heavy that it will press down the river and sea water will back fill the river as the ice melts. The river that we think of as wide will become much, much, much wider, filled with salt water. As the earth changes so does all life—from a world of peace to a world of war.”

  “Tuksook, are you well?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I know the loss of the baby was rough. This sounds so much worse. Are you handling it well?”

  “Remember, Gumui, what is—is. I will say that Wisdom explained that this is in the far future. We have been blessed to live in the time we’re in. This is a time of plenty and peace. What I’ve seen is in the far future. What I must do is to make it so that the People hear that when snows become deeper and deeper, it is time to move far north or go by boat far south. Our stories have to prepare the People like the stories of Maknu-na and Rimlad prepared the People for volcanoes.”

  “Oh, I see. Wisdom wants you to provide stories to warn the People of an event in the future?”

  “Yes.”

  “It’s sad to think of the old People ceasing to be.” Gumui felt the effect of the change of the land on the rock were he sat. The effect was shattering to him, but he reasoned it would come to be, and he had no power to stop it. Gumui was amazed that Tuksook was taking the knowledge in some ways better than he was. He wondered whether it had anything to do with her being together with Wisdom.

  “We should have seen it coming, Gumui, but we don’t actually cease to be. In the stories that Ki’ti told of her time, women of the People were struggling with childbirth then. Think of the uncountable numbers of years it’s been since their time. It had to come. Already, there has been great merger with all of us from different ancestry. I don’t see what about us would not successfully survive into the future, but then I’m not Wisdom. And Wisdom told me that groups of people have life lines just like the individual people do. Groups like ours and those of Mol and Big Lake heritage have life lines that are running short. The Minguat’s life lines are just barely reaching fullness. The happy part is that we are not lost but are carried as part of those who do survive. What survives carries all of us. The People will look more like Minguat, but they are a mixture. There is the certainty that we somehow continue, even if our shape changes. We help to maintain the balance so people do not destroy themselves with war. Where the new People focus on war in their mind webs, we lie inside their mind webs calling for peace—keeping a balance.”

  Tuksook lay on the rock, her head resting on Gumui’s leg. They both looked at the stars above them. The stars were countless. Brilliant in the almost night sky. They had been on the rock a long time talking. They could hear music and singing from the bent tree house.

  “Wisdom said that sometimes when you look far ahead, it makes it easier to accept a sad time. I believe him, Gumui.”

  “I can see a change in you from your time with Wisdom today. It must be true.”

  “All the stars in our not quite dark sky and Wisdom—I feel so small. Oh, I almost forgot. After the ice melts, some people come to fight the People. A strong warrior leads our People and even though they’re outnumbered, they manage to slay all the others with strange tools we don’t have now. The leading warrior is a descendant of Toagrurt. He is a great warrior. He is known for his responsibility, diligence, and discipline.”

  “Interesting. If Loraz were alive, he’d be so cheered by that information. Tuksook, I think we should go in.”

  “Not yet, Gumui. Look!”

  Over across the river above the white topped mountains, the sky lights began to dance. The sky lights were multi-colored, dancing an active dance. They watched, fascinated as always.

  “They’re rarely similar. The various patterns are amazing.”

  “I love it that you can see the stars through them,” Tuksook said.

  “It seems to be so powerful. I wish I could understand what’s happening. It’s as if one power comes in contact with another power and they burst into moving lights.”

  “Oh, Gumui, if you knew all the little details, don’t you think it would spoil the effect?”

  “No,” he replied. How it works fascinated him since his arrival.

  They remained on the rock watching the sky lights until they faded. Occasionally, they could hear others below who had gone out. They called to People in the house to watch the display. It was spectacular that night—and it wasn’t the cold time.

  Item realized something had happened to Tuksook to raise her spirits after the loss of the baby. She waited until after the morning meal the next day and asked.

  “You’re right. Mother, I was terribly saddened. When I slept, I was able to meet with Wisdom. It cheered me. Then, the sky lights came out last night and that cheered me even more. I cannot change what was before, what is, or what will be. I have to remember that all of life is temporary, and in that temporary world, I can only try to live a day at a time. I had to remember that. It was so hard to know the baby was born lifeless. Last night I waked up and cried for a while. It still hurts. It will take a long time for me to turn loose of it completely. Grief sticks like the hoof glue that holds spear tips in place. Mother, could you tell whether the baby was a girl or boy?”

  “You really want to know?”

  “Well, I asked. Of course, I want to know.”

  “It was a boy. He looked perfect, but he had not been inside the womb nearly long enough. He was way too tiny. He was beautiful.”

  “I have to hope, Mother, but each year my chances dim. Mine all seem to come too soon, as if they cannot
wait to be born.”

  “I ache for you, my daughter. You’d be a good mother.”

  “Thank you,” Tuksook said, looking Item in the eyes. She’d never known her mother thought she’d be a good mother. “Life is changing so fast. It wasn’t that long ago when we arrived in this land. Only fourteen years, yet look at the change. If I cannot have children then I will be a good aunt and love them all. So many People have gone to Wisdom, so many have been born. We found a wonderful place to live. We’re blessed with plenty and peace. It is a good life here.”

  “It truly is, Tuksook. So much better than in the old land. You must have gained some of what you say from Wisdom. I don’t understand your time with Wisdom, but it always seems to have a wonderful effect on you.”

  “Ever since I began to talk with Wisdom, my life has been blessed. I didn’t always see it that way, but the truth is that I love Wisdom and need Wisdom as much as I need air or food or sleep.”

  “Your father used to say that, too. Never having had that experience, I cannot understand of what you speak, except it compares well with what he said, and he also talked to Wisdom. Oh, Tuksook, I watched a little of the children’s performance of the song and dance, and they are becoming so good at it. It’s a joy to see them.”

  “I want to stop by when they begin again to practice. I could hear them yesterday, but I didn’t see them. Mother, you’re not aware of any of the children beginning to learn the stories?”

  “No. Not yet. Usually, Tuksook, you’ll be older before a new Wise One appears. Don’t worry about it. Wisdom always provides.”

  “I just thought I’d ask.”

  “Believe me, if anyone spots one, they’ll tell you right away. You hid yourself too well, Tuksook.”

  A few days later Tuksook left the house and looked around the meadow. She had been struggling to decide how to put together a story to share the information Wisdom wanted her to make known. She’d never created a story. Certainly, she knew stories, countless stories, but repeating and explaining a story was not the same as making one. The responsibility weighed heavily on her.