by Loree Lough
He bobbed his head a time or two. “Oh, I had a few dark moments. More than a few, if I’m completely honest. But I was blessed right from the start with good friends and a supportive pastor who prayed with me. And for me. And before long, anger and bitterness seemed petty and ungrateful. And the instant I let go of all that, I started coping. And healing. I still don’t understand it all, and maybe I never will. But I accept things now.”
She didn’t know whether to admire him or pity him. Didn’t he miss having them all in his life? Didn’t he want answers to the tough questions, like why God had chosen them and why He’d taken each loved one long before their time?
“I miss them, of course,” he said, and again Julia wondered if he could read her mind. “I suppose I always will. But with God in my corner, it’s easier. So much easier.”
She pretended to busy herself by buttering a crescent roll and sipping cool lemony water.
“I have an idea,” he said, leaning forward expectantly. “Why don’t you come to church with me tomorrow?”
“What makes you think I don’t already belong to a church?”
Simon tucked in one corner of his mouth. “Which one? I’ll gladly come to yours. I just want to be with you.”
“This must be one of those ‘gotcha’ moments people are always talking about.”
“You’re wrong. Nobody’s judging you, Julia, least of all me. We all make choices about God and church and faith. And we all go to Him at the right place and time. His time.”
“And you think tomorrow is my place and time, at your church?”
“Who knows. But what can it hurt to try?” His gentle smile warmed the space between them even more than the candle flickering in the center of the table. “If you’re not comfortable there, you won’t go back. It’s a church, not a prison.”
Prison? Of all the words he could’ve chosen, why that one? Did he know something about her past, her parents? “Have you seen the Gundens lately?” she asked, hoping he hadn’t heard the suspicious edge in her voice.
“I was over there this morning, as a matter of fact. I’d promised to take Levi to the sanctuary, remember?”
Julia nodded. Yes, she remembered.
“Got there only to find out he’d done some mischief and that got him into trouble. In effect, I guess you’d say the kid’s grounded.”
That touched her deeply. “Oh, poor Levi. I can’t even imagine what a sweet boy like him could have done to warrant any punishment!”
“Hey, he’s Amish, not an angel.” Simon chuckled. “And from what he told me, he earned it.”
“What did he do, if you don’t mind my asking?”
Simon sat back and, frowning, stared at her for a long, silent moment. Something peculiar glittered in his gorgeous green eyes, something that looked like a cross between pity and confusion and, for a reason she couldn’t explain, indecision. It surprised her even more when he avoided her question altogether.
“I told him maybe we’d go to the sanctuary another time.”
“Maybe?”
“He didn’t seem too convinced that Hannah and William would ever let him go.”
“But…why not?”
Simon shook his head. “Levi didn’t come right out and say it, of course, but he implied that his folks are worried he might get worldly notions, hanging around town with the likes of me.”
“Oh, that can’t be true. Hannah thinks the world of you, and so does William.”
“Oh, do they now?”
What she’d give to be able to know the meaning of those quicksilver emotions flickering across his face! “They’ve always spoken very highly of you.”
“Ditto.”
The busboy refilled their water goblets and went on his way. “Ditto?”
“Now don’t get any ideas,” he said, “but…”
“Ideas?”
Smirking, he added, “More than a few of the Gunden Amish think the two of us would make a good team.”
“A good team?”
First looking left, then right, Simon whispered, “Don’t tell anybody, but there’s a terrible echo in this place.”
“A terrible…Oh, I get it. Very funny.” But there was nothing comical about the fact that the Gundens had been speculating about whether or not she and Simon would end up together. Speculating with Simon. Julia wondered how he felt about that and decided to ask him, straight-out.
Two faint frown lines appeared between his eyebrows.
“You already know what I think.”
“I do?”
“I’m nuts about you, as if you hadn’t noticed. When I’m with you, I get all tongue-tied and stupid. And when I’m not with you, I’m so busy thinking about you that I get all tongue-tied and stupid. I haven’t had a decent night’s sleep since we met, because I wake up dreaming of you, missing you. You’re on my mind at work, when I’m watching the news, when I’m at the grocery store. I never know when my Julia-crazed brain is gonna ask, ‘What would she think of this?’ and ‘How will she feel about that?’ Now really,” he said, pursing his lips, “look me in the eye and tell me that all this is a surprise.”
Boy, she thought, when you stick your foot in it, Julia, you don’t mess around, do you? She’d asked Simon what seemed like a simple question and had expected a simple answer. Knowing him as she did, it probably shouldn’t have been a surprise that he’d go off on a tangent…but it was. As usual, when she couldn’t figure out how to deal with an uncomfortable situation, Julia sat quietly.
“Well, good grief, Julia,” he said, looking everywhere but at her, “it’s not fair to leave a guy hanging this way!” Then he zeroed in on her eyes and, grabbing her hands, added, “Now you listen to me, and you listen good. I know you have some crazy cockeyed notion that something from your past will scare me off and make me wish we’d never met. But you couldn’t be more wrong, you hear me? I don’t give a fig what happened before you and I met. All I care about is the here and now…and the future. I know you well enough to believe you’d never hurt me—at least not deliberately—so it’s easy to go forward on nothing but faith.”
The waiter approached, carrying an enormous food-laden tray, and Simon waved him away. “Did you even hear a word I just said?”
“Of course…of course I did.” And thanks to the intensity of his words, so had the diners at every nearby table. Julia’s hands acted as blinders to block her view of their inquisitive stares.
“Well…?”
Well, what? she wondered. What did he want from her? By now, her decision to end things tonight was a hazy memory. She tossed her napkin onto the table. Maybe Hannah had been right. Maybe God did have a plan for her and Simon. Julia couldn’t be sure, but if she let this chance pass her by, she’d never be sure about anything ever again. She’d prayed long and hard about the state of her soul. Each Bible session had drawn her closer and closer to trusting the Lord. Suddenly, Julia’s heart started beating faster, and she knew without a doubt that it was time to let go of past doubts and fears and walk in faith.
She leaned in close, so close that their noses nearly touched. “Now you listen, you big goof,” she hissed. “I’m crazy about you, too. I’m not one to get up on a platform and announce it for all the world to hear, but, yes, I’ve noticed that you’re a bit smitten—”
“‘A bit smitten’?” Simon laughed. “Sorry…continue, O Mistress of Understatement.”
“—that you’re a bit smitten with me, and God help us both, I’ve gone and fallen in love with you. Are you happy now?”
“Happy? Happy? You bet I am!”
“And don’t think it goes unnoticed, mister,” she tacked on, “that I said the L word, while you only said—”
He was out of his chair and on his feet so fast that his image blurred before her eyes. Before Julia knew what was happening, he’d pulled her up and wrapped her in a big, loving hug. “Man, for a savvy lawyer, you sure can be dense,” he said, beaming. “Of course I love you. I’ve loved you almost from the fir
st minute I laid eyes on you, and I’ll keep right on loving you till I draw my last breath.”
Someone sitting near the windows cut loose with a shrill whistle, and a deep voice by the door bellowed, “Way to go, Simon!” as applause pattered all around them.
“So much for not making announcements from platforms, eh?” she said.
And then he kissed her as he’d never kissed her before. Dear Lord, she prayed, I’ll show proper gratitude later, but for now, thanks!
Chapter Fourteen
Julia showed up as scheduled, at six thirty, and just as Simon’s secretary snapped the window blinds shut, Julia rapped on the door.
“Sorry,” said a high-pitched female voice, “we’re closed.” Two white metal mini-blind slats parted, forming an eyeball-sized V. “Unless there’s an emergency.” The brown eye gave Julia a quick onceover. “I don’t see a pet….”
“I don’t have one. Yet,” Julia said. “That’s why I’m here. To meet with Si…with Doctor Thomas, to choose one.”
“Now?”
Julia glanced at her watch, as if the action alone might validate her showing up after-hours. “He said to meet him at six thirty.”
The woman muttered something as the blinds snapped back into place. And Julia glanced left, right, behind her, trying to look nonchalant. Where was Simon? Surely he hadn’t forgotten that—
Like the answer to an unspoken prayer, the door opened with a click and a whoosh. “Julia,” he said, reaching for her hand, “come on in.”
The instant he tugged her across the threshold, he pulled her into a warm hug and kissed her cheek. She might have returned the compliment—and the kiss—if she hadn’t noticed an angry blond standing just behind him.
Simon followed her gaze and faced the frowning female. “Debbie,” he said, flashing the woman a half smile, “this is Julia. Julia Spencer.” Sliding an arm around Julia’s waist, he added, “Julia, this is Debbie, my…ah…my—”
“I’m his secretary, receptionist, bookkeeper, and sometimes assistant,” Debbie finished for him. Extending a long-taloned hand, she flashed a small, unfriendly smile.
“Nice to meet you,” Julia said, taking the icy red-polished fingertips.
Debbie quickly hid the hand in the pocket of her sweater and aimed a hard grin in Simon’s direction. “I didn’t see her name in the appointment book.”
“That’s because this isn’t an appointment. It’s more like a…” He winked at Julia. “More like an invitation.” And to Debbie, he said, “She’s thinking about adopting one of our strays.”
Chin up and spine stiff, Debbie crossed both arms over her ample bosom. “I see.” Raising one dark-penciled brow, she asked, “Can I trust you two alone, or should I stick around and play chaperone?” Debbie cut an icy glare in Julia’s direction. “Wouldn’t want people talking. A girl’s reputation is important in a small town.”
After a millisecond of uncomfortable silence, Julia realized she’d been standing with her eyes wide and lips parted, like a kid caught with her hand in the cookie jar. Doesn’t take a genius to figure out the woman considers Simon her property, she thought. A quick look at his stern glare made his disapproval quite clear. “What do you recommend?” she asked Debbie. “Cat or dog?”
Debbie rolled heavily mascaraed eyes and sighed. “I’m not the person to ask,” she snapped. “Never had a pet, never intend to get one.”
“Why not?” Julia blurted. Then, in response to Debbie’s glare, she quickly added, “I figured since you work for a vet, you must love animals—that you’d have a tough time not wanting to take all the strays home.”
Debbie narrowed her eyes. “You figured wrong. I’ve got a kid at home and no husband to help raise him. I don’t have time for pets or”—she shot an angry glimpse at Simon—“dating.”
“Are the charts filed?” Simon asked.
Julia heard the ire in his voice and said a silent prayer for Debbie. If his posture and tone were any indicators, the woman was in for an earful in the morning.
“I didn’t quite finish, but I’ll get to them,” Debbie said. “We had that emergency today, don’t forget, and that threw me off schedule.”
Simon grabbed her coat from the wall rack and walked behind her, his not-so-subtle hint that she should leave. Now.
Bristling as she stuffed her arms into it, Debbie said, “Such a gentleman. Thanks, Doc. See you at nine?”
He was halfway to the door before he answered. “You bet. Actually, why don’t you come in a half hour early so you can catch up on that filing. I’ll pay you double-time.”
He didn’t wait for her to respond. Instead, he opened the door and held it until she stepped outside. “Tomorrow isn’t your carpool day, so it won’t be a problem, right?” And with that, he closed the door—and locked it.
“Sorry about that,” he told Julia. “She’s a…” He shook his head. “Suffice it to say that she’s a long, long story.”
“Personally,” Julia said with a grin, “I’ve never been a fan of horror stories, but I’ll listen to that one, if talking about it will keep you from having nightmares….”
“Nut,” he said, pulling her into his arms. “Man, you look gorgeous,” he whispered. “I was up half the night thinking about you.”
She hadn’t slept much either. In all her years, Julia had never felt this way about a man. She’d thought she’d been in love a time or two, but after her frightening experience in foster care, she’d always talked herself out of relationships before they had a chance to develop. For the first time in her life, she wasn’t afraid to admit how she felt, wasn’t afraid to show her true feelings, wasn’t afraid of being judged inferior or tainted or—
“You really don’t have a romantic bone in your body, do you?” he asked, laughing.
“Ah…I…” Julia frowned. “What?”
“I just admitted I was up all night thinking about you. You’re supposed to reciprocate, you little nut.”
“Oh.” Julia giggled. “Okay.” And because she knew he expected her to say “Ditto” or “Me, too,” or echo his words to the letter, Julia stood on tiptoe, wrapped her arms around his neck, and kissed him square on the lips, fully expecting him to return it with gusto.
He caught her totally off guard when, instead, he started to laugh. It began quietly, emanating from deep inside him, then bubbled up and overflowed until he’d tipped his head back to fully vent his merriment.
“And you say I don’t have a romantic bone in my body?” The sound was contagious, and it took a healthy dose of self-control not to join in. “You must really trust me,” she said, tilting her head slightly. She gave him a moment to process her words, acknowledging that she trusted him more than anyone since Granny or Gramps.
“I read someplace that guys rarely expose their throats this way. Dunno why, exactly,” she continued, lightly dragging her fingernails across his Adam’s apple. “Must have something to do with a deep-seated fear of—”
“Julia,” he said, boring into her eyes, “did anyone ever tell you that you talk too much?”
“Only you.”
“Then shut up and kiss me again.”
“But what about the adoption? Shouldn’t I—”
His gentle lips silenced her, and as she absorbed the warmth of his arms and the tenderness of his kiss, Julia thanked God for sending her this wonderful man, this wonderful love. She hadn’t been old enough to understand how blessed she’d been when Granny and Gramps had been part of her life. But Julia was old enough now to praise Him for these gifts.
Simon’s stomach grumbled just then, sending her into a fit of giggles. “Didn’t you eat at all today?” she asked, still standing in the protective circle of his arms.
“Didn’t have time. My ‘secretary, receptionist, bookkeeper’ made so many mistakes, I spent half the day picking up the pieces.”
“Then what say we save the pet adoption for tomorrow,” she suggested, patting his stomach, “and get something into that belly of yours bef
ore every critter in here has a panic attack.”
“Panic attack?”
“How would you react if you were a defenseless animal, alone in a cage, in a sterile clinic environment…and you heard growling like that?”
“I won’t keel over for at least a half hour. That’s plenty of time for you to choose a housemate.”
What would he think if he knew she’d like nothing better than to marry him and make him her housemate?
“All in good time,” he said, taking her hand.
Julia’s heart thudded. Had her emotions been that visible?
“You can’t do it all in one night, of course,” he continued, leading her into the back room. “But you can at least get a sense for whether you’d like a dog or a cat.”
“Or both,” she said, quoting what he’d told her not so long ago.
The instant he flipped on the light in the next room, the barking and meowing began. Julia bit her lower lip, grieving already for the dozens of loving animals pacing near their cage doors that she couldn’t take home with her.
A small gray-striped tabby sat watching Julia, its big green eyes glowing like marbles. It tilted its head then poked a forepaw through the bars.
“What’re you doing?” she asked it, leaning closer. “Waving hello, or trying to shake my hand?”
She stuck out a finger and stroked the soft fur. “How old is this kitten?” she asked Simon.
“That isn’t a kitten,” he said. “She’s nearly three years old. Someone left her on my doorstep, literally, with a box full of other kittens.”
“Where are the others?”
“Gone. Years ago.” Simon opened the cage and scooped the tabby into his arms. “But nobody adopted this one.”
“But she’s so cute!” Julia said, scratching between the cat’s ears.
“Until you walked in, she never came near the cage door before.”
Julia’s hand froze, and when it did, the loudly purring feline rubbed a cheek against her palm.
“She always hovered near the back of the cage,” Simon continued, “doing that flat-eyed ‘Don’t mess with me’ thing cats are notorious for.” He shrugged and handed the tabby to Julia. “Guess she was waiting for Miss Right to walk by, too.”