by Loree Lough
Too? she repeated mentally.
“Oh, don’t look so puzzled. You already know I’m nuts about you. And so is Mouser, here.”
The cat snuggled into the crook of Julia’s neck. “Mouser?”
“At the first sign of a rodent, I let her roam free for a night or two.” He snapped his fingers. “And that’s the end of the problem.”
Looking into the cat’s eyes, Julia said, “Maybe he should’ve named you Killer, then!”
The tabby replied with a happy meow and went back to purring.
“I want her,” Julia said. “Can I take her tonight?”
“No, you’ll need some supplies first. Litter box and litter, food, bowls, a bed, some—”
“She won’t need a bed. Mouser will be sleeping with me.” She hugged the cat. “Won’t you, cutie pie?”
“Julia, I hate to break it to you, but cats have minds of their own. This little critter here might just have other ideas.”
“All right. I’ll get her a bed. But you’ll see…she’ll prefer cuddling up with me to sleeping alone.”
“Tomorrow after work,” he said, taking Mouser from her arms, “I’ll take you to the pet store for bowls and a bed and stuff. I’ll set you up with some of the food she’s used to so her adjustment will be easier. She’s had all her shots, and she’s neutered. Plus, she’s been microchipped so that if she ever wanders off or gets cat-napped, any vet in the nation can read the numbers and contact her owner—you.”
“I hate to leave her,” Julia said, fighting tears as Simon closed the cat’s cage.
“She’ll be just fine for one more night. This has been the only home she’s known for years.”
Julia’s gaze swept up and down the aisle at the dozen or so other cats and dogs that watched them from inside their own cages. “How long have the rest of them been here?”
Simon pointed at a cocker spaniel. “She’s been here about six months. The German shepherd? Just over a week…”
As he went down the list, naming breeds and the length of time spent in his clinic, Julia’s eyes filled with tears. “How do you do it?” she asked, sniffling. “How do you go home every night, knowing they’re here all alone?”
“It isn’t easy,” he confessed. “But the truth consoles me. If they weren’t here, they’d be out there, abused, neglected…or worse. I make time for all of them every day. And I’ve got a few schoolkids who volunteer to stop by and play with ’em whenever they can.”
Simon headed for the door and laid his hand over the light switch. “Living here isn’t the best life they could have, but it sure beats the alternative.”
She pulled a tissue from her coat pocket and dabbed at her eyes. “Something tells me you will have a very special place in heaven, Simon Thomas.”
He turned off the light and closed the door behind him. “Maybe. But if that’s true, then everybody who has adopted a pet and given it a loving home will be right there beside me.”
The plight of these homeless creatures made Julia think of the wolves at the sanctuary, each stolen from the wilderness to satisfy humans’ desire to play zookeeper despite regulations that make it illegal to raise wild animals. Whether or not their intentions were pure at the start, they discovered all too soon that the beautiful beasts needed fresh meat—and lots of it—and quickly grew from adorable cubs into enormous animals too powerful to handle. “I need to get to the sanctuary. With my crazy court schedule and Hannah’s miscarriage, I haven’t been there in weeks!”
“Let’s go now.”
“Now? But, Simon, it’s seven o’clock, and you haven’t had supper!”
He shrugged into his coat. “We’ll grab something on the way.”
“The staff will have left for the day, and it’s nearly a half hour’s drive each way….”
“Ninety-nine percent of the staff are volunteers, but Matt’s there twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. Besides,” he said, “the wolves do their best howling in the dark.”
So far, Julia’s visits to the wolf sanctuary had been during the day, and the rare wolf howl had been an electrifying, exhilarating experience. But to stand amid the sanctuary’s wooded acres under a coal black sky? A shiver snaked up Julia’s spine at the prospect. “Can we stop at my place first so I can grab my boots? We can slap together a couple of sandwiches while we’re there….”
Simon leaned back and gave her a quick onceover. “Yeah, I guess high heels aren’t exactly ‘hiking the grounds’ footwear, are they?” He pulled her into a hug. “But I’d sure like to be the guy you call on to warm you when your feet get cold.”
“You accomplish that,” she said, kissing his chin, “just by being there.”
He’d seen her with the wolves before, so Simon shouldn’t have been surprised at her reaction.
The faint light of a crescent moon illuminating her gorgeous face, she looked for all the world like a child visiting a toy store for the first time. He didn’t think she could look more beautiful than when she gasped quietly behind her fingers in response to the first haunting notes—when her big eyes filled with tears and her lower lip quivered as she reached for his hand.
“Oh, Simon,” she whispered, “it’s…it’s like a haunting melody. I could listen to it forever!”
He’d had a pretty good life with Georgia, but she hadn’t shared his love of animals and definitely didn’t “get” his fascination with the wolves. Julia, God bless her, she got it. Better still, she got him. Unable to speak, he hugged her from behind, content to stand with his eyes closed as he buried his face in her thick auburn waves.
She leaned her head against his chest and hugged his forearms to her waist. It felt good, holding her this way. Felt right. His earlier doubts about God’s intentions for the two of them vanished.
Somehow she’d managed to deal with Debbie without insulting her. He’d been putting up with the woman’s nonsense for weeks now, giving her a paycheck for work she didn’t do. But tonight, when she’d mistreated Julia? Well, that had been the last straw. Casey’s neighbor or not, she’d crossed the line, and tomorrow he’d spell things out nice and clear. He’d give her two weeks to shape up or—
“Why so quiet?” Julia asked.
“Just…” He knew only too well that with that big heart of hers, she’d come to Debbie’s defense if he told her the truth. “Just counting my blessings.” It wasn’t a fib, exactly, because he did consider her a blessing. A big one. Simon kissed the top of her head. “Warm enough?”
“It’s an inside-out thing, so yes, I’m more than warm enough.”
He turned her slightly, needing to see her face, needing to look into her eyes. “An inside-out thing?”
She turned slightly and laid a hand on his cheek. “You’ve touched me, Simon. All my life, I’ve been afraid of one thing or another, of being rejected, of being judged.” Nodding toward the tree line where Casper and Fawn paced, frustrated by their lone wolf status, she sighed again. “I was just like them…always on the outside looking in. Always wanting acceptance. Never thinking I deserved it.”
He held her tighter, hoping with everything in him that he had made those differences in her life, because she’d sure made a big difference in his!
Julia wriggled free of his embrace and stood beside him. She slipped an arm around his waist and leaned her head on his shoulder. “There are things I need to tell you, Simon, things you need to know if we’re to…if we’re to—”
“All I need to know is that you love me.”
She patted his side. “Then let me rephrase things. There are things I need you to know about me. It’s because I love you that I believe you deserve to know the truth—all of it.” She inhaled a long, shuddering breath. “Because if you can still claim to love me after you know everything?” She nodded. “Then I won’t just hope it’s true, I’ll know it is.”
Wolf songs echoed all around them as storm clouds gathered overhead. Soon, the bright glint of starlight and moonlight went as dark as the blanket of
night that held them aloft.
“Ever hear of the Internet, Julia?”
Her quiet laughter tickled his ears. “Of course I have. What’s that got to do with—”
“Have you ever had occasion to dig into a client’s background?”
He felt her stiffen, heard the breath catch in her throat. “Many times,” she said tentatively.
“Well,” he said, tightening his hold on her, “it just so happens I own a computer with access to cyberspace.”
The night grew deathly still—so quiet that Simon heard her breathe, heard her blink, heard her swallow.
“Is that your way of saying you had me checked out?”
Gripping her upper arms, he forced her to meet his gaze. “No, I didn’t ‘have you checked out.’” Kissing her forehead, he added, “I did it myself. Considered paying a company and decided against it.”
“So you know? About my parents? About the kind of people I’m descended from?”
“They made mistakes. Stupid mistakes. Big mistakes, and lots of them,” he said. “The biggest was giving you up.” He kissed her again. “But before they got all tripped up on drugs and booze, before they started committing crimes to provide for their habits, they were good kids.”
Julia blanched. “And what about the molestation? Did you read all about the big investigation that happened because of me?”
“Investigation?”
“Into the foster care system. The county turned their office upside down, spent months hammering other foster families after they found out what my foster father had been doing to me.” Shaking her head, Julia stared at her shoes. “If it hadn’t been for an observant teacher…”
Her voice trailed off as she bit her lower lip. Simon prayed that God would provide him with the wisdom to know whether it was good for her to get this off her chest or harmful to bring it all back into the present.
“They put me in the hospital, so they could prove their case against him. And kept me there until they could find a family with room for ‘a troubled young girl.’”
Her voice didn’t hold the bitterness Simon might have expected. Instead, she seemed relieved that the truth was out—even the most agonizing truth about her past. She continued. “And did your investigation tell you the authorities had to let him go?”
“No,” he said quietly.
“One of those ‘my word against his’ scenarios. I can hardly blame them, now that I understand the law. I mean, what were they to do without a shred of evidence to back up what I said after my teacher filed the report? He was a virtual pillar of society. A family man. A deacon in the church. Naturally they believed him over a kid who’d been bounced around by the system for years.”
Julia exhaled a shaky breath. “He died years ago, in a drunk driving accident. Fortunately, no one else was hurt.”
“If he hadn’t, I’d be tempted to kill him myself.” Simon’s quiet voice shook with emotion.
She looked away, toward the stealthy shadows of Fawn and Casper. But Simon needed her to look at him, so she could see with her own eyes that every word he was about to say was the truth. He cupped her chin and brought her face back into line with his own. “You aren’t like those lone wolves, Julia, and you aren’t like your parents. You grew up practically on your own, and look how you turned out! I’d bet anything that you blame yourself for what that creep did to you, like your parentage gave him an excuse to violate you. And I’m here to tell you you’re wrong, one hundred percent.” He bracketed her face with both hands and stared into her eyes. “Do you think for one minute if your ‘defective DNA theories’ were true, you could have become an upstanding, successful young woman all by yourself?”
She felt so small, so vulnerable, standing there in his arms, that he wanted to find the people who’d had the audacity to call themselves her parents and box some sense and reason into their self-centered heads. If someone had told them about the damage their actions would cause their innocent, good-hearted child, would they still have led such selfish lives? Probably, Simon thought, but none of that mattered now. They’d paid for their sins.
Julia had asked nothing of life but to belong, to be accepted and loved, and to love in return. And he wanted nothing more than to provide her with proof that those things had always been hers for the asking. How sad that, believing she’d been contaminated by her parents’ sins, Julia had never felt worthy to ask.
Simon said all that and more, adding, “You inherited only their best qualities and none of the worst.”
She wanted to look away again; he could feel her trying to distance herself, trying to avoid his eyes.
“I know the whole story, Julia, and none of it matters a whit to me. In fact, I love you more because of what you’ve endured, what you’ve survived! I can’t tell you how much I admire and respect you, because you’re stronger than—”
Simon never finished his litany of compliments, for Julia silenced him with a well-timed, tender kiss that outlasted the long lone howl that pierced the night.
Chapter Fifteen
From early autumn to Thanksgiving, an overcrowded court docket made finding time to spend with Simon a challenge. She found herself wishing for extra hours to share with the love of her life, and her wish had been granted.
She’d met Casey and his family at church—her church now, thanks to Simon—and they’d invited her to share Thanksgiving dinner at their house.
“You sure you want to volunteer to bring dessert?” Simon tossed a loaf of bread into her grocery cart. “You like rye, right?”
“Love it,” she said. “Of course I want to bring something. It’s the least I can do.”
“Did Casey tell you there are never fewer than twenty-five people around their table on Turkey Day?”
“Twenty-five!”
“Sometimes more.”
She gaped at the lone can of pumpkin filling in the bottom of her cart. “Guess I’ll need a few more of those, won’t I?”
He popped a noisy kiss to her cheek. “Takes a lot to rattle you, doesn’t it?”
After they paid for the groceries, he drove her home, and Julia thanked him for taking her to the store.
“Happy to do it,” he said, helping her off-load bags from the bed of his pickup. “I’d offer to help with the baking, too, but I have a couple of appointments this afternoon.”
Julia made him a sandwich to eat on his way to the clinic and sent him on his happy way, laughing when half of the sandwich was gone even before he fired up the truck. She spent the rest of the day baking cookies and pies and cheesecakes and spent the evening wondering aloud during their late-night phone call how she’d get all of it to Casey’s house. “Leave it to me,” he said before hanging up. And sure enough, it was Simon to the rescue on Thanksgiving morning, with cardboard boxes and a freshly scrubbed pickup truck bed.
Dinner was delightful, as were Simon’s relatives—and the two dozen friends who’d happily crammed into the narrow dining room. A light snow was falling when they drove away from Casey’s, making Julia glad they’d taken his four-wheel-drive pickup instead of her sensible sedan. “The roads will be a mess by morning,” she said, slouching in the passenger seat. “Sometimes I’m tempted to move to Lancaster just to avoid that highway drive to and from the courthouse every day.”
“Yeah,” he said, patting her hand, “but then you wouldn’t have that big beautiful house to come home to.”
“And I’d be farther from you.”
“Well,” he huffed, “that goes without saying.”
She’d always loved her house. Work-related stresses and the cares of the day wafted from her mind the minute she set foot in the quaint foyer. And now, with a purring, chirruping Mouser to greet her? Traffic to and from Lancaster was a small price to pay for peace and joy like that!
She’d managed to foist most of the leftover desserts on Casey’s dinner guests, left some for Casey and his family, and still ended up bringing home a pie, half a cheesecake, and a huge bucket of cookie
s.
“My freezer isn’t big enough for all this stuff!” she wailed, staring at all the food spread across her kitchen table
“Should have thought of that before you decided to make like the Pillsbury doughboy.”
Grinning, Julia clucked her tongue. “Thanks for your support.” Then, “I have an idea…. You can take some to the clinic and give cookies away to kids and parents who bring in pets for checkups.”
“And you can do the same at your office. Now, how ’bout if we have a slice of pie right now?”
She glanced at the clock. “It’s nearly nine!”
“So?”
“Déjà vu?” she said, grinning.
“No, no sanctuary tonight. Even Matt takes a day off every now and then.” He hugged her. “I just don’t feel like saying good night yet.”
“I miss you already, and you’re not even gone?”
“Something like that.”
They shared a cup of herbal tea and a slice of pie as Mouser purred in Julia’s lap.
“So, is she sleeping in the bed you bought her?”
“Nope. What a waste of money!”
“Hey,” he said, glancing at his watch, “do you realize it’s ten forty-five?”
“I know.”
“What’s wrong with us?”
Julia shrugged. “Pie addlebrained, I think.”
Chuckling, Simon got to his feet and put their dishes into the sink. “That’s as good an explanation as any. Better than saying we’re lovesick.”
Hand in hand, they walked to her front door. Julia buttoned his jacket then pulled the collar up.
“Sleep well.”
She opened the door. “Goodness, look at how much snow fell since we got back! There must be a foot and a half on the ground!”
He hunched into the wind. “Can’t remember the last time it did this on Thanksgiving.”
“Be careful.”
“Lock up tight once I’m gone.” He gave her one last kiss. “Don’t want the wind blowing snow under your door.”
“Call me once you’re home, so I know you got there safely.”