Brothers of Miller Ranch Box Set

by Natalie Dean

  “I don’t understand why you have to do this.”

  “Because it’s my dream. You remember what it’s like to have a dream, right?”

  “But dreams aren’t real. I’m real. Please!”

  “I’m sorry. I’m so, so, so sorry. But this is what I have to do.”

  Ben snapped himself out of the memory and forcefully shoved it as far down as he could into the dredges of his psyche. When was the last time he had thought of that specter of his past?

  Of course, his mother caught onto his expression. “I’m fairly certain only Ruby will be there. She doesn’t really have anyone to support her now, considering her daughter lives in the Big Apple and hasn’t come back in years.”

  “She’s still in New York City?”

  “As far as I know.”

  Ben felt a flicker of guilt. He had just heard that poor Mrs. Parker was a widow and suffering through the death of the love of her life and the first thing he had worried about was himself. That was awfully selfish, and Ben didn’t like being selfish.

  “Yeah, I’ll go with you. I should pay my respects as it is.”

  “Thank you, dear. Let’s hope that something good can come out of this tragedy and poor Ruby can reconnect with old friends.”

  “Yeah, let’s hope.”

  4

  Chastity

  Chastity took a long drink of water from her cup before setting it on the table beside her. The wake had started barely ten minutes prior, and there was already a long line of people waiting to give their condolences. It was overwhelming, and she felt like she had been thrust into a grand ceremony without properly preparing herself.

  Sure, she had known that she was coming down for her father’s funeral. She had been going over the funeral home bill and ordering the death certificate and pretty much everything. But now, seeing his body in the casket, his pale, wrinkled face impassive… his death was suddenly very real.

  And yet it wasn’t.

  That cold, unmoving face in the casket wasn’t her dad’s. He had always been an expressive person. She could remember the pink in his cheeks as he saw her report card, a wide grin soon following before he hung it on the fridge. She could remember the way his forehead furrowed when she told him she was cast as a lead in the school play, and she wasn’t going to quit. She could remember him leaning over, red eyed and scared, as she burned with a fever that she caught during freshman year.

  He had loved her, in his own way. Sure, that didn’t erase the mean things he did, or give her closure to the way he derided her life, but he was dead. There wasn’t much to do now but forgive him, she guessed.

  Chastity just wasn’t sure she was ready to do that yet.

  How stressful! Her stomach was flip-flopping as people began to approach them, all somber and serious. But if she was feeling a bit stressed and teary-eyed over it, she couldn’t imagine what her mother felt. Charles and Ruby Parker had been together for forty years. They had about given up on having children before Ruby got pregnant with Chastity. Although Chastity had her fights with them growing up, and different ideals, their love for each other had been apparent to anyone who saw the two together. Chastity remembered hoping when she was younger that she would someday find someone who looked at her how her father had looked at her mother, but so far that had yet to happen.

  Well, there was one man who had gazed at her like that, but—

  She cut that thought off fast. It was not the time to be thinking about old drama. She was here to help her mother and mourn the loss of her father. Although they had never really been close, she’d never wanted him to die. And now that he was gone, she couldn’t help but wonder about all the ways he would be missed—and all the things she never got to say to him.

  The first people came up, an older couple that Chastity didn’t recognize. Maybe church friends? She had stopped going when she was sixteen, so most of the parishioners had faded from her memory.

  However, Mom clearly knew them, because the two women tottered toward each other and linked together in a teary hug. The gentleman, dressed in what had to be his Sunday finest, offered his hand to Chastity.

  “We’re so sorry for your loss.”

  “Thank you,” Chastity murmured, feeling the back of her throat squeeze. She had managed not to cry since arriving, but she didn’t think her streak was going to make it through this crowd.

  “Agatha was worried about you two having to cook with everything you’ve got to do, so we brought you a bit to eat.”

  It was only then that Chastity noticed he was holding a black, insulated bag in his other hand. The funeral home that they were renting had anticipated this, however, and Chastity found herself repeating the words they had told her.

  “The door to the left over there leads to a table where you can set it down for us to collect when we go home. If it needs to be kept cold, there’s a refrigerator too.”

  “Right. Of course. You let us know if you need anything, ya hear? Charles was a good man and helped a lot of people.”

  “We will. Thank you so much.”

  The older women finally parted, and the elderly gentleman moved on to my mother, kissing the top of her head before pulling her into a hug as well. That was another thing Chastity had missed about home, touch.

  Walking around in New York City, it often seemed that everyone had a barrier around them that you weren’t supposed to penetrate, and if someone did dare to touch another human being, they were usually up to no good. It was exhausting to always be on guard, to be closed off and defensive. But here, back in town, everyone was so much more connected. It made her wonder why she was so determined to go back to the city anyway. It made her miserable.

  Because if you want to be an actress or entertainment talent, you have to be in either LA or NYC, and that one was the farthest from your parents.

  Ouch. That thought hurt, but it was true. Goodness, having a tenuous relationship with her parents certainly complicated things.

  But then the next couple was up, someone she recognized as her fifth-grade science teacher and her husband. Chastity remembered that her mother used to be involved in the school’s PTA and drama club when she was younger, and that was how the two women had met.

  “It’s so good to see you!” the woman said, rushing forward for a quick hug. “I’m so terribly sorry it had to be under these circumstances though.”

  “I know what you mean,” Chastity said wanly, pulling away to give her husband a firm handshake. But he too reached out to gently pat her arm, even though they really didn’t know each other that well. Small town love was something else. “It’s wonderful seeing everyone, but it’d be nice if it wasn’t over something that makes us all cry.”

  “Exactly.” She pointed to her husband’s other hand, and Chastity saw that he was also carrying a bag. “I don’t know about you, but when I’m stressed, I just get the worst sweet tooth, so I made you a couple of pies.”

  “Thank you so much.” Chastity repeated the same set of directions that she had given the other couple, and the woman stood on tiptoe to give her a kiss on the cheek before going over to her mom.

  And so, it went, person after person, couple after couple. Mostly elderly folk, but plenty of younger people too. If Chastity didn’t know better, she’d say nearly the entire town came out to wish them well.

  That thought was overwhelming. All of these people were involved in her father’s life, and she was off galivanting across the country. And by galivanting, she meant failing at her dream and wondering if she could afford the extra dollar to get the spaghetti sauce that she really liked instead of the generic brand.

  And for what? So she wouldn’t have to hear comments about how she should be having children already? Or that she needed to settle down and find a husband. Or that it was her job to submit to—

  Okay, actually she had some pretty good reasons for leaving. So why did she feel so guilty about it?

  She glanced to her mother to double check on her, and although
her face was lined with tears, she seemed to be doing all right. Perhaps everyone’s kindness was helping her get through things. Or perhaps she was just showing that patented Parker stubbornness and refusing to completely break down in front of others.

  Chastity crossed to her, grabbing some extra tissues along the way and placed them in her hands. Leaning in, she rested her head on her mother’s shoulder. “Do you need a break?”

  “No, sweetie. I’m all right. There are a lot of people waiting still.”

  “There really are.” Chastity straightened and returned back to her spot, squeezing another pump of hand sanitizer into her hand. Looking up, she saw who she recognized as the pastor of the town church.

  But as he reached out his hand, a particular voice caught her attention. Somewhere between velvet and rumbling thunder, there was a timbre that tickled at the back of her mind, making her heart skip a beat.

  Thoroughly distracted, Chastity looked past the man as he shook her hand, and she focused her gaze down the line. Just like the last ten minutes, there were faces she recognized, faces she didn’t, and some that straddled the line between recognition and faded memory.

  But not him.

  Her heart stopped the moment she laid eyes on him. He was taller and brawny, having filled out with the muscle of manhood, but there was no mistaking him.

  Towering over everyone else around him, his sandy-blond hair was cut close to his head on the sides and groomed long on top. Even from the distance she was at, Chastity could make out his piercing green eyes surrounded by dark, dark lashes. He was wearing the same Sunday best as everyone else, but his muscles were filling it out so much it was borderline indecent.

  His jaw was as sharp as ever, able to slay a thousand Philistines or cut through steel, and his cheekbones were as high as she remembered. All in all, it was like God had personally sculpted him to absolute perfection.

  Before she could catch herself, Chastity took a step forward. It didn’t take long before those dazzling green eyes noticed her movement, and they landed right on her, staring through her like she was thinner than a sheet of paper.

  Her breath caught in her throat, and it felt like her soul up and left her body. But while her mind was in shock, her mouth kept on moving right along without her brain.

  “Benny?”

  5

  Ben

  “Benny?”

  Dear Lord, her voice was as enrapturing as he remembered, and he had to close his eyes not to get caught up in it. Ben couldn’t believe that she was here. Wasn’t she supposed to be in the city?

  Her voice was low for a woman, with a very specific laugh that was just on the border of being salacious or unpleasant. But undercutting those potentially off-putting traits was an alto-tone that was smoother than honey, making each of her words hang in the air like forbidden fruit.

  Dozens of feelings hit Ben at once. Revulsion, desire, heartbreak, shock. It was a kaleidoscope of thoughts and emotions that left him breathless.

  “Are you all right?” He heard Ma say the words, looking up at him in concern.

  However, he couldn’t put together the words to answer her. His mind was one hundred percent occupied by the woman staring at him from across the room with wide eyes as dark as the night sky.

  For a moment, he thought that he would turn around and run right then and there, but then she was moving toward him. Before he could get his mind in order, she was repeating his name again.

  Goodness, the way she said it was either a sin or a prayer, he couldn’t tell which. Her voice almost plunged him into memories he had long since buried, and he had to breathe in deeply through his nose to stay in the moment.

  She was even more beautiful than his memory told him. Her body had filled out with her womanhood, her hourglass figure no doubt tempting many a man to think things they wouldn’t want their mother to overhear. Her hair was long and a glossy obsidian, done up in a braided crown about her head, as if she needed further proof of her naturally royal elegance. Her features were aquiline, blending into each other like they were carefully painted by a master artist. Those ruby red, full lips were parted slightly in her query, and her rounded cheeks were flushed the faintest pink.

  What was that expression on her face? Hopeful? Happy? Upset? He couldn’t tell, his mind was so occupied in observing every minute detail about her that he could.

  What is she doing here? He couldn’t help but wonder. She’s supposed to be almost a continent away.

  She said his name one more time, and his mother gently elbowed him, stirring him back to reality and the woman who was standing before him.

  “Actually, it’s Ben now.”

  There. That was neutral. Neutral was good. He wasn’t screaming at her and asking how dare she come back after breaking his heart, and he wasn’t mocking her for being back. He wasn’t falling to his knees and begging her to come back to him.

  “Oh. Right, of course. I suppose it would be weird for a grown man to go by the name Benny.”

  “It would.”

  Thankfully, Ben’s mother stepped forward and offered her hand. “Hello dear, how are you?”

  “Not the best,” she answered with a wan smile. It was hard to stay mad or aggressive with her, considering the situation. They were at her father’s funeral, and although Ben didn’t know if they’d had a chance to reconcile since she left them, he figured it was a difficult situation nonetheless. “But I’m glad to be here so Mom’s not alone.”

  “Oh, you don’t have to worry about Ruby, dear. She’s got all of us to care for her.”

  “I know.” Although she was talking with Ben’s mother, her eyes kept flicking to Ben.

  So dark and focused that they were almost pitch black, he had no idea how she was able to convey so much emotion with only a glance. He remembered how those same eyes looked as they gazed up at him with affection, the stars in the sky above reflecting in the pools of onyx.

  “But I want to be here for her. It’s been a long time since I’ve visited, and I figured… well… I’ve already put it off long enough.”

  “Well, it’s lovely to see you back in town again. If you need anything, you just let us know. I’d love to hear all about New York!”

  “Hah, that’s definitely a story.”

  “I’m sure. Oh, and I brought some food for you,” Ma said before quickly continuing on. “You don’t have to worry about telling me where to put it. Unfortunately, I’ve had enough of these events lately that I know to put it in the other room.”

  “Ah, I see. Thank you. And, um… I’m sorry?”

  “Dear no, you don’t have to apologize to me. That’s the consolation prize for getting to my age. But today is about your father.”

  It was all too much. Standing there, looking at the woman who snapped his heart into so many pieces was impossibly painful. It made him want to curl into a ball, or punch a wall, or go for a horse ride until the sun set and all of his frantic thoughts went away.

  “Excuse me,” he heard himself say. “I think I left the windows open in the truck.”

  With that, he turned on his heel and quickly walked out. But as fast as he strode, he couldn’t outwalk the memories that were flooding his mind.

  “So what college are you going to? Have you filled out any applications?”

  There she was, laying on a blanket beside him, the sun shining down while the tall grass waved all around them. He could still smell the lavender shampoo in her hair and the vanilla hand lotion she always used. It was burned into his mind for all eternity.

  “Actually, I don’t think I’m gonna. There are a few tradesmen in town who are willing to teach me what I need to know to keep the ranch running smoothly, so I figure I might as well save the money.”

  She sat up suddenly, giving him a curious look. “You’re not going to college?”

  He knew her well enough to recognize that was not a good tone. “Yeah. Just seems like it would be a waste of money since I’m going to be taking over the ranch.�
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  “Oh… I thought…”

  “You thought what?”

  “That we would be going together. You know, get out of this place and actually experience something other than Blackfish County.”

  Oh.

  Oh no.

  Sure, they had daydreamed about running away from the small town and all the small minds that surrounded them, but to him those had always been starry-eyed stories that they used to vent and cope with the drama of being teenagers.

  “You’ve always known that I was going to take over the ranch. I’m the eldest.”

  “Who cares if you’re the eldest. You’re my boyfriend! No one’s saying you can’t come back here, just that you could at least experience some of the world before deciding that this is your destiny for the rest of your life.”

  “I want to help run the ranch. I know you hate this town, but I don’t. I like seeing the animals every day. I like growing things and building with my own two hands. I don’t want to spend thousands of dollars on college when I can learn what I need to know from experienced workers here in town.”

  “What do we do then?” The way she looked at him, so heartbroken and betrayed, it made him feel like he was in the wrong. But what was so bad about loving his family and the life they provided?

  “I… I don’t know.”

  “Dang it, Chastity,” Ben hissed to himself, slapping the roof of his truck. Normally, he wasn’t one to hit anything—not a lot made him angry enough to physically react. But there were so many emotions running through him that he needed some way to get them out, and his trusty gelding Manchester wasn’t around for a good run.

  He heard light footsteps behind him and whipped around, almost expecting to see her appear out of thin air. But thankfully it wasn’t the specter of his past, but instead his mother, looking quite concerned.

  “Did you know that she would be here?” he asked, gathering his thoughts enough to form a coherent sentence.