by Natalie Dean
Chastity nodded, and he stepped aside to open the door. “She’s in the room across the way if you want to collect her and head out. Of course, take as much time as you need.”
Chastity couldn’t speak, so she only nodded dully as she stepped out into the hall. The doctor made a polite gesture to the opposite door then walked to the front, giving her a bit of privacy.
Which she sorely needed.
Chastity slumped against the wall, her world still spinning. Her mother was sick? She had hoped that the suspicious feeling in her gut had only been paranoia, but now that those fears had been proven true, she didn’t feel any better.
She had just lost her father and was still struggling with how she felt about that. She couldn’t lose her mother too. Nor could she watch her mom slowly waste away as whatever illness she had ate away at what made her…well, her.
While Chastity hadn’t had any direct experience with dementia or Alzheimer’s, she knew people who had. They were cruel, debilitating diseases that stole away memories, personalities, and happiness until there was little left.
She didn’t want that for her mother, so she prayed that whatever was going on with her was something else entirely.
Steadying herself, she took a deep breath then headed for the door, knocking slightly.
“Hey there, you ready to head home?” she asked, looking over to her mother.
The woman brightened, smiling at her daughter, and Chastity couldn’t help but return the smile. She had been looking forward to trying to repair her strained relationship with her remaining parent, but what if that chance was stolen away before she even had the opportunity to make amends?
Was this her punishment? Had she done something wrong? Because she had taken her parents and her hometown for granted, were they going to be ripped from her forever?
“Something wrong, Maryanne?”
“Not really. I’m just—” Chastity stopped, catching the comment. “Am I still Maryanne?”
“You ask the silliest questions,” Chasity’s mom stated before she stood and offered her an arm. “Let’s go home, shall we?”
“Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.”
Chastity offered her arm, stomach through the floor, as they headed out again. Her mother kept up a good conversation the entire short walk to their house, but not once did she ever use Chastity’s name.
It was upsetting, and Chastity did her hardest not to show it, but her mother seemed to sense something was amiss. Once she was in the door, her mother spoke of needing a nap and then headed up the stairs.
Chastity was pleased to see that she could still get up there on her own, but it was a very small victory. Once her mother was out of sight, she went back outside onto the porch to call the city doctor.
Of course, she was on hold forever, and when she finally did get to speak with a secretary, the woman told her that the doctor wasn’t accepting any new patients for a year. That had nearly cut Chastity through, and she had to hold all of her emotions inside of herself not to blow up on the phone.
She dropped the referring doctor’s name and mentioned that her mother needed testing for diagnosis and treatment as soon as possible. That seemed to do something, and the woman stated they would call her back after speaking to the referring doctor. It didn’t take long, and the doctor must have sounded convincing of her need for treatment, because the lady offered a round of appointments the next day for all the tests she needed. She also told Chastity that her mother needed to fast overnight for a blood test.
Chastity told her thank you and wrote down the appointment times, but when she hung up a whole new set of problems alighted on her.
She didn’t have a car, and neither did her mother. She had to get her mom a ride into the city, but it was thirty miles away. There wasn’t even a bus that ran that way and taking a train there would certainly be expensive. Too expensive for her budget, and she wasn’t sure of her mother’s yet.
Perhaps her mother had a friend that could take them?
Going back into the house, Chastity went over to her mother’s desk, rooting around for something that might help. She wasn’t sure how much time she wasted going through drawers when she finally spotted an old address book on one of the higher parts of the desk.
Oh.
She grabbed that and went through it page by page. She recognized several of her mother’s old friends but knew that a few of them had already passed away, just like her father.
Finally, she came upon a name she recognized. Annie. It had a pleasant sort of ring to it, so Chastity guessed that she probably knew who this person was, from when she was younger maybe.
Picking up the phone, she dialed the number. It rang twice, then a gentle voice came over the phone.
“Hello?”
“Oh, hi. Annie?”
“This is she, who do I have the pleasure of speaking with?”
“This is Chastity, Mrs. Parker’s daughter.”
“Oh, Chastity! Hello! I remember you.”
Oh. How awkward. Chastity could only vaguely remember that she might have known a Mrs. Annie at one point. “Really? Well, that makes this easier. I was calling to ask a favor of you.”
“Of course, dear. I’m so sorry about your father’s passing. I know how much he and your mother were in love.”
“…yeah. They were.” Chastity took a deep breath, wondering if she was violating her mother’s privacy. But she didn’t see much of an option. “Well, the reason I’m calling is because my mother needs to go to a doctor in the city for some specialized tests and neither of us have a car.”
“Oh goodness, tests? Is she all right?”
Chastity’s stomach did that drop again. She hated it. “I don’t know.”
Somehow the woman seemed to sense her tone and feeling over the phone. “I’ll have one of my sons take the two of you, don’t worry about a thing. What time do you need him there tomorrow?”
“Thank you. I think nine a.m. should do. Do you need the address?”
She laughed lightly, and it was a warm, comforting sound. “Oh darling, I helped your mother move into that house back when we were both young women. I know exactly where it is.
“Please, rest up and get some sleep. You’re not alone in this, Chastity. You have the whole town behind you.”
“…thanks.” Chastity didn’t know what to say to that. There was an inherent sort of niceness to her tone, and it made the situation feel less hopeless. “I appreciate that.”
“Of course, dear. If you need anything else, just let me know.”
“I will.”
She hung up, leaving Chastity staring at the wall. Sure, the situation was awful, but at least the people here were so much closer than people back in the city. If this had happened back in the Big Apple, she was sure that she would be more overwhelmed.
Hopefully, that closeness didn’t backfire on her somehow.
8
Ben
Ben gently pressed his heels into his horse’s side, deciding another fifteen minutes of riding wasn’t going to hurt anyone. The workers were finishing tending to the animals, and his brother had asked for a break from renovating the barn they were working on, so the ranch wouldn’t suffer if he took a little time to clear his head.
He rode past the dozens of hay bales they had, taking a deep breath of the twilight air as the sun sank behind the horizon. He loved this time of day. There weren’t the dangers that came with darkness, but there was the quiet of the world starting to tuck itself in for slumber. It made it easier to think, the pressing list of responsibilities in his head fading for a few hours.
Not that he hadn’t been thinking all day, just not about anything he was supposed to be concerned with. Ever since he had seen Chastity, his mind had lingered on her, replaying every second of their interaction on a loop.
The way she looked. The way she smelled. The curl of her full lips; the uncertain look in her eyes. Did she fear him? Was she ashamed? He couldn’t tell. It had been s
o long since he had seen her that he had lost the ability to read her emotions. Once he had prided himself on knowing her like the back of his hand. Now she was practically a stranger.
Albeit a stranger who he felt inexplicably tied to in a way he couldn’t explain.
Ben tried to harden his mind, trying to suppress the rising emotions. Chastity had made it clear her life belonged far away from here, and he was rooted right where he was.
…but was he okay with that?
He didn’t know.
Taking over the ranch as the eldest had always been a matter of course, but she’d made him question it before—and now he was again. Perhaps there was more for him beyond tending to the animals, barns, and dozens of other responsibilities that came with farm life.
His horse, Gertie, let out a whinny, drawing him back to reality.
“Come on, Ben,” he said to himself. “Snap out of it.”
He loved the ranch. He loved working with his hands and carrying on the legacy that had been so lovingly built for him. He loved that they specialized in happy animals, and though they didn’t replicate on a massive scale, it felt more like how God wanted humans to respect beasts of burden and livestock.
Why would he ever give that up to go to some stone-cold city where he had to work to make some other man rich? It seemed more like torture than a dream, and he didn’t think he would ever understand Chastity’s need to get away.
But he didn’t need to understand her, he told himself. Chastity was practically like a stranger now, and what she did was none of his business. It didn’t matter if she was back in town for her father’s funeral, she would be gone soon, leaving only a shadow and a memory.
Oh, and that empty feeling that was growing again in his chest.
Ben tsked to himself and pointed Gertie back to the riding barn. It was becoming clear that no matter how far or fast he rode, he wasn’t going to get his peace tonight.
How was she still affecting him this way? It’d been years of no contact, and she’d barely said ten words to him, yet he felt like she had left all over again. How stupid. He had too much to do to be worried about some high school love that hadn’t panned out.
Once Gertie was all taken care of, brushed, watered, and fed, he headed toward the main house. Normally, he could just go in his own door, but he was hoping maybe his ma was inside or even one of his brothers. For some reason, he didn’t really want to be alone.
It wasn’t because he didn’t want to think about Chastity. Or at least that was what he repeated to himself several times. It wasn’t because of the electricity that had crackled between them when their eyes met. And it wasn’t because he felt like he was obsessing over her now.
Ma was sitting in the living room, this time doing a cross-stitch as she rocked in her chair. She looked like the quintessential Western mother, humming to herself as she rocked.
“Hey there,” Ben said, crossing over to her and flopping onto their sofa. She gave him a look, never having succeeded in thirty years in getting him to stop throwing himself onto their furniture. Hey, he was a hard worker and the eldest, but he never said that he was perfect. “What are you up to tonight?”
“Oh, nothing,” she said, but Ben caught there was something odd in her tone. “I’m thinking about a friend who needs some help in town.”
“Really?” Ben asked curiously. He wasn’t sure what about it was piquing his interest, but he knew that something was up. “What do they need?”
“Ah, well she is having some medical issues and needs to go into the city for some special tests. They asked if we would be able to give them a ride, and I told them I would be more than happy to send them one of my brood. It’s the Christian thing to do, you know?”
Ben chuckled. “Of course, it is. You always love to help people, even at your own detriment.”
“What are you talking about? I think that helping people only ever helps myself.”
“Uh-huh. Remember when you broke your wrist helping someone with a busted tire on the side of the road when I was five?”
“Well yes, but they got home in time to see their daughter at her recital, didn’t they?”
Ben sighed, shaking his head. Maybe one day he would be as kind and giving as his ma.
“Fair enough. Who is it? I’m probably free.”
“Uh, I don’t know if that’s the best idea.”
That made Ben’s head snap up, and he studied his mother’s face. Something was definitely going on. Why did she look so guilty? The tiny, cold, tail end of an idea tickled at the back of his head, and he regarded her suspiciously.
“Who is this friend, Ma?”
“Mrs. Parker. Chastity’s mother.”
Several emotions raced through Ben’s mind all at once, and he wondered which ones flashed across his face. Most likely the angry one considering his mother’s expression.
Chastity’s mother was sick? Was it bad? It had to be if she was going all the way into the city. How horrible, to come home to the loss of her father and then have something happen with her mother. Maybe—
He cut off that thought. No. He wasn’t worried about her. It was sad, but none of his business. Chastity had made sure of that.
“I would never ask you to do it. I was planning on calling up Benji, but his phone’s been off all day.”
“Yeah, he messed it up last night when he dropped it in the toilet,” Ben answered, rubbing his temples. “He has one coming in the mail, but it probably won’t be here until tomorrow.”
“Oh, well if you would be so kind, you could ride over to his place and ask him—”
“No, it’s fine.” Despite the clamor in his head that said he shouldn’t get involved, Ben decided to be the bigger person. Maybe he was a bit more like his mother than he thought. If Mrs. Parker needed help and he could provide it, it wouldn’t be very Christian to duck out of it.
“What time do they need me there tomorrow?”
“She said about nine a.m. It is a bit of a drive, and it sounds like there are quite a few tests to do. Thank you, Ben. I really didn’t expect you to do this. I didn’t even plan on telling you.”
“I know,” he answered with a sigh. “You always try to look out for all of us, even though we’re grown men.”
“You may be grown, but you’re still all my baby boys.”
“Your baby boys have all been taller than you since we were twelve.”
“The day that height becomes the cut off for maternal affection is the day I throw myself from a cliff.” She yawned and set her things to the side. “Well, now that I’m not worried about how to contact Benji, I think I’ll go have a lie down. Your father is already sleeping. He chopped some wood earlier and it wiped him right out.”
“The man has five sons and twelve workers. He really doesn’t need to be out cutting firewood for himself.”
“A man is a man is a man. Even at his age, he likes to do things for himself. I figured you would understand that more than anyone.”
“Yeah, I guess I do. Goodnight, Ma.” Ben stood to kiss her forehead, and she patted his broad shoulder lovingly. With that, she tottered off, leaving him alone with his thoughts once again.
Tomorrow was going to be awkward, stilted, and unpleasant, but at least he was doing the right thing and helping out a couple of people in need. Now that they were grown adults and had moved on, there was no reason why they couldn’t be friends.
Even if Ben was beginning to suspect that he hadn’t moved on at all.
9
Ben
Ben’s leg bounced as he drove his truck into town. It wasn’t that far of a drive, but it was far enough to give his mind the time to think way too much. He wasn’t sure how he was supposed to act around Chastity. Would he be cold and detached? Maybe the silent treatment? Would he be friendly and act as if nothing was wrong?
Well, probably not that last one. While no one really called him mean as far as he knew, he wasn’t exactly the life of the party. A lot of different words had b
een used to describe him. Taciturn. Stoic. Reserved. Responsible. None of those really meant great at conversation, or comfortable around forced interaction with his ex.
He pulled up to their house, just off the main drag, and he realized that he was going to have to decide fast. He knew he didn’t want to be openly hostile, but he didn’t want Chastity to think that this was some pathetic way to get back with her.
No, he just wanted to help. He wasn’t sure if it was some leftover feeling of protection he had for Chastity, or his natural inclination to be responsible, or even an attempt to follow his mother’s selfless examples, but he supposed the reason why didn’t really matter now that he was at his destination.
The front door opened and Ben stepped out of the truck to help. It was an extended cab, so there was more than enough room for the three of them, but since it was so large, by the time he did get around, Chastity had already led her mother right up to the passenger’s side.
She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw him, as if she was staring at a ghost. Ben was a bit confused by her surprise. But then it started to dawn on him that maybe she didn’t realize it was his mother that she was calling for help. That certainly made things a little awkward.
“What are you doing here?” she sputtered.
Ben couldn’t help but feel insulted. They hadn’t ended on the best of terms, but even standing ten feet away from her he could feel that strange force pulling them together, but that didn’t mean she needed to stare at him like he was some sort of specter.
“You asked my mother for a ride. She doesn’t drive much anymore, so here I am.”
“Oh… Annie is your mother?”
“Yes. Did you forget?”
She shrugged, still staring at him as he carefully approached to open the passenger door and help her mother in. “I guess I did. I don’t think I ever called her anything other than ‘Mrs. Miller.’ Doesn’t your dad call her ‘pumpkin’ all the time, or something?”
Ben couldn’t help but grin at that. Pumpkin was a long running joke from his parents first date where his mom had unfortunately found out that she had a severe allergy to pumpkins. Instead of enjoying pumpkin cider at a high school Halloween dance, they’d spent their night in the ER. It wasn’t a typical romance story, but they were still together and clearly in love, so something must have turned out right.