Brothers of Miller Ranch Box Set

by Natalie Dean

  “I miss Charlie so much, Lord. I know you bring us to you when the time is right, but the world doesn’t seem possible without him. It’s like someone stole all the color from my sunrise. Or snatched away all of the beautiful music that ever existed. I feel empty, Lord. Empty, and alone, and confused.

  “Please, I beg of you. I need your guidance in these times. I need the peace that I used to feel all the time in you. It feels like my heart is gone and every single breath pains me deep in my soul.”

  Tears welled up in Chastity’s eyes, and she was doing her best to stop it, lest she break her mother’s concentration. But it was difficult. Guilt mixed with empathy, mixed with the rampant desire to do something, but having no idea what to do.

  It wasn’t fair. She’d been thinking that far too much lately, but it was true! Her mother tried to live right her whole life, always loving the Lord, always trying to do her best by people—even if her and Chastity had fought often about their stances on certain issues. She had been kind, and loving, and yet here she was, wasting away of a broken heart and mind.

  To stand by and watch was excruciating. Chastity wanted to do something, but they hadn’t even received the test results yet from the last round of doctor visits when her mom had gone with Ben. If only—

  Thinking his name sparked something in her, and suddenly realization snapped through her mind so fast she nearly got whiplash.

  “Dear God,” she whispered to herself.

  Her mind was spinning out into the stratosphere.

  Because suddenly, she understood Ben.

  Sure, he was the one who had broken his promise to go with her. Sure, he was the one that flipped out at dinner. But she finally understood the why of why he had reacted so viscerally.

  He loved her, she had always known that, but he really, genuinely loved her, which was why he worked so hard to understand her too. But she kept abandoning him without a look over her shoulder. Chasing big dreams like he was some sort of afterthought.

  And it wasn’t that he wanted her to give up on them, or that it would be right for her to, it was just that he needed to see or hear that it was difficult for her to leave him. That it hurt her as much as it hurt him and that she cherished him as well. He could let her go, let her chase her big dreams. He just wanted to know that he still held a place in her heart underneath all of the independence.

  He was afraid of being forgotten.

  Deep down in his heart, he was afraid that he was going to be left behind, like her mother was now.

  Oh goodness.

  Shame poured down her soul, and she wondered how it could have taken her so long to get something so simple. He just wanted to know he mattered. That was it. Had she been so busy steeling herself against the rest of the world that she had forgotten how to empathize with the person that she had been closest to?

  It seemed that way, which was certainly a shame.

  But she could fix it, right? It wasn’t too late. She was still in town, and so was he. Or had she ruined it all already? Would she ever be able to face him again after that terrible dinner? To go from nearly kissing to screaming in anger was not a pleasant transition in her book.

  She didn’t know, and she didn’t come up with an answer as her mother continued to gently pray beside her. Chastity didn’t even notice her mom was finished until she felt a gentle squeeze on her arm.

  “I’m ready to go home now.”

  Chastity opened her eyes and looked around, surprised to see that it was only them and a couple of others left. Apparently, the service had concluded, and she hadn’t even been aware.

  “Do you need someone to pray with you?”

  Chastity heard another unfamiliar and soft voice. Turning her head to the front, she saw a woman in a demure dress standing on the steps leading up to the main preaching area. She had a Bible in her hand, and her hair was pulled up into a sensible bun.

  “Oh no, it’s fine. We were just finishing up, actually.”

  “Are you certain?” she asked, smiling softly. She really was pretty, with golden skin and other features which made Chastity think she might have been part Asian. “I usually like to stay here for a while and fellowship, so it really wouldn’t be any trouble.”

  “Thank you, Keiko,” Chastity’s mom said, slowly standing and bending her knees several times. “But I’m afraid I do get awful stiff after a while, and I’d like to go home and rest. It’s been a… morning and a half, to put it lightly.”

  “I understand, Mrs. Parker.” The woman’s smile grew even softer, and Chastity wondered who this young lady was. “And you must be Chastity. I’ve heard so much about you.”

  “You have?”

  She nodded, extending her hand for a shake. “Your parents used to come here all the time and were always early to my Bible study. If you ever need someone to talk to, I’m almost always here.”

  “Thank you. I appreciate that.”

  “Of course.” She closed her eyes in a very cheek-filled grin before pulling her hand back. “Well, I suppose I should go take inventory of the food pantry for our next big delivery run. I hope to see the two of you another day.” She gave a little bow of her head then wandered off.

  Maybe Chastity didn’t have to be as alone in this town as she thought.

  “Are you ready, dear?” her mother asked, cutting into Chastity’s introspection.

  “Huh? Oh, yeah. I think I am.” She offered her arm, and her mother took it.

  Despite losing out on so much article time, Chastity was glad that she had done this. She felt like she’d had about a lifetime worth of epiphanies packed into a very short time and wanted to sort all of it out.

  Maybe, just maybe, if she thought long and hard enough about it, she would find a way for her and Ben to, at the very least, be friends.

  Wouldn’t that be something?

  25

  Chastity

  To say that the Parker routine changed slightly would be an understatement. A lot happened in the week following their fateful visit to church, and their lives seemed to be better for it.

  They went back to the church every single day. Perhaps it was just psychosomatic, but Chastity felt like it was making a big difference already. Her mother’s episodes were shorter, and she only had two in one week. Obviously, it was too soon to say anything definitive, but it certainly seemed like fellowship did indeed help strengthen her.

  As for Chastity, well she did a range of things. It turned out the church had Wi-Fi, so she could submit her articles and finish a couple of surveys during Bible studies and other meetups that her mother went to. Of course, she paid attention in the Sunday service she attended, but she didn’t think God would mind her still making money during their extracurricular visits.

  Once Keiko had found out that she was working, she showed Chastity an office she could use while her mother was doing her thing. Chastity was incredibly grateful for it and promised Keiko that they’d have to go out sometime together and enjoy the town outside of the church.

  If Chastity ever had the money to go out again.

  All in all, things were steadily improving, and the world seemed less like a hopeless, black pit of despair that could never be escaped—which was exactly what Chastity needed.

  But even with all those positives, guilt still weighed heavily on her heart about the whole Ben thing, and she dreaded running into a Miller. Although they both attended the same church, the Millers went to the much earlier service, while Chastity and her mother preferred the later one. That had kept them apart so far, but it was surely only a matter of time before their paths crossed again, and Chastity had no idea what she would say or do when it did.

  Ben hadn’t called or texted since the fight, which she took to mean that he was still mad and wanted nothing to do with her. She couldn’t blame him, considering that she had made it seem like getting away from him and everything else in this small town was all she wanted. But that wasn’t it at all. She just didn’t want to be a failure, like she f
elt her mother and father had always inadvertently called her. She knew they never approved of her being an independent woman, being an actress and moving to the Big Apple. She had lumped Ben in with all of that mess as well, when that wasn’t quite what was happening.

  It seemed they both needed to work on their listening skills. Who knew the lesson could be so simple?

  “Are you all right? You look like you’re thinking some deep thoughts.”

  Chastity blinked, coming out of her inner monologue to remember that Keiko was leading her to the office again. It was Monday, which meant that it was the Christian support group for the widows in town. Although sad that there had to be such a thing, Chastity was glad there was that resource available for her mother. If she had known about the meetings earlier, she certainly would have gotten her mother there ASAP.

  “Just thinking about life,” Chastity answered vaguely as Keiko unlocked the door with her set of keys. Apparently, she was like the right-hand man to the reverend, although she wasn’t related to him and wasn’t looking to go into theology herself. She just really seemed to love the church and the townspeople. Chastity wished she had that kind of kindness in her.

  “I see. Well, don’t think too hard. I see a sort of brightness ahead for you, Chastity. I think good things are coming your way.”

  “Really?” she answered with a wry grin. “That would certainly be a nice change of pace.”

  “Well, it is what I’ve been praying for.”

  Chastity couldn’t help but smile at that. There was such a genuine earnestness to Keiko. What wasn’t there to love? How the girl wasn’t snatched up and sporting a ring on her finger was beyond Chastity. “You’ve been praying for me?”

  “Of course. I pray for all my friends.”

  “Oh, so we’re friends now?”

  Keiko’s hazel eyes widened, as she gave her a surprised expression. “I had thought so. Was that too forward of me?”

  “No, not at all. It’s nice to hear it actually. Thank you, Keiko.”

  “You’re welcome, friend. I’ll see you in an hour or so?”

  “Sounds good.”

  Chastity headed into the office and got settled, opening her laptop and checking her notifications on the article site. She always liked to check her milestones first, it was like getting a mini-payday every time she logged on.

  Her eyes widened as she saw fifteen different messages she had waiting for her. The five-dollar milestone. The ten-dollar milestone. The twenty-dollar milestone. The fifty-dollar milestone!

  She had a total of twenty-one articles up, and between them she had managed to earn a hundred dollars in a single day. What was going on?

  She was nearly giddy as she went through them all, but she noticed she still had one more message from the admin in her inbox. Clicking on it, all color drained from her face and she didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

  Dear Ms. Parker,

  Due to your excellent, consistent work with our site, we wanted to extend you an offer to become a verified contributor. This is a full-time position, although there is the flexibility to set your own hours.

  Please contact us at your earliest convenience with the best times to reach you to discuss the position.

  Regards,

  The Great Listicle Team

  Chastity read it again. And then again.

  She couldn’t believe it.

  They were offering her a full-time job?

  Not only a job, but one as a verified contributor? That was huge! When she had first started with the site, she had read over their whole structure, and it was possible for the most popular of their writers to earn a grand or two a week.

  Oh goodness.

  The things she could do with that kind of money!

  But she was getting ahead of herself. Quickly she sent off an email and gave them her cell phone number and let them know that she was only available for a phone call for the next couple of hours today. Then she finally allowed herself to jump out of her chair and squeal like a little school girl.

  Oh goodness! She wanted to tell the entire world. She didn’t know whether she should run out and find Keiko, or interrupt her mother’s group, or call Ben, or anything! Her mind was an anxious, mixed-up batch of happiness, and it was so foreign that she wasn’t sure how she was even going to function beyond the next breath.

  But before she could figure any of that out, her phone rang. She took a deep breath before answering the unfamiliar number and managed not to sound insane when she answered.

  “Hello?”

  “Hello, is this Ms. Parker?”

  Ah! It was them, wasn’t it? She knew it. She could feel it in her gut.

  “This is she.”

  “Hi, this is Shyanne from Great Listicles. I wanted to talk to you about the possibility of you becoming one of our verified contributors.”

  “Yes! I see that you are on top of your emails. I answered that barely three minutes ago.”

  “Oh yes. It’s not every day we ask someone to join our team. I noticed that you actually haven’t been a part of our site for very long, so it’s pretty amazing to see that you’ve already reached this level of success in such a short amount of time.”

  “To be honest, I’ve been surprised by it myself. I just wrote about things I knew about, and people seem to like it.”

  “Well, it’s your tone. You have an informal, sort of almost-sarcastic way to introduce topics, but then when you explain the positive reasons why, they sound quite genuine. Readers notice that kind of thing.”

  “Oh, well thank you. I appreciate that insight.”

  “Of course. That’s what we’re here for.”

  She went on, explaining the position and what was expected of it. She would need to continue to write an average of at least one article a day per week, and no more than three. It would certainly cut down on her output, but apparently it was so they didn’t spam their followers or overwhelm them with featured articles by verified contributors. But the tradeoff was that she was paid a base amount every week as long as she hit a minimum, then she’d also receive better bonus milestones based on her click rate.

  If she did all right, she would still be making more than she did in her best week on the site. And if she did great… well goodness, that would really be lovely, wouldn’t it?

  In the end, their conversation lasted a good hour before it wrapped up and Chastity could happily accept the position. Her mother had come to fetch her, and Keiko had come to lock up, so both of them ended up standing at the door, watching her curiously as she paced and talked.

  Fortunately for her, they seemed to know that something important was happening, because they didn’t interrupt at all until she finally hung up and placed the phone on the desk.

  “What was that all about?” her mother asked, looking like she was almost afraid to know. Chastity couldn’t blame her for that. A lot of the surprises in their lives recently had been pretty terrible.

  “I got a job!” she cried, laughing like an absolute madwoman. “And I don’t have to work nearly as hard as I’ve been doing. I probably won’t even have to fill out any more surveys once I get started.”

  “Oh honey, that’s wonderful! Let’s go home and make something to celebrate. I think we have enough for a truly hearty meal.”

  “That sounds perfect,” Chastity said, beaming at her. “Looks like we’ll be able to hit the town a bit sooner than I thought, Keiko.”

  “I look forward to it. And congratulations, of course.”

  “Thanks. The timing is a bit uncanny, isn’t it?”

  There was the slightest hint of a smirk to her smile as she answered. “The Lord works in mysterious ways.”

  “You betcha.”

  They laughed, and the Parkers headed out while Keiko locked up the spare office and returned to her work. Chastity was on cloud nine the entire way back home, practically floating.

  Finally, it was like the skies were parting and there was a little bit of sun after so m
uch doom and gloom. She couldn’t believe it, but at the same time, she was immensely relieved.

  They arrived home in good time, having laughed and giggled the entire way back. Chastity wondered if she could keep this good mood forever and never have to succumb to her normal pessimistic overthinking. Probably not, but that didn’t mean that she couldn’t cherish it while it was available.

  Their mailbox was practically full as they walked up, and Chastity let go of her mother’s arms to grab it all. Heading in, she sorted the piles into bills, bills, more bills, and then medical stuff and junk mail.

  But this time, she wasn’t feeling overwhelmed as she stacked the envelopes. It would still take a bit to get on her feet—even if she started the full-time position right away. But she could do it. And she would be able to do it in time to keep them in the house.

  The good thing, however, was that now that she knew she would at least have a baseline to go off of, she could work out some semblance of a budget. Grabbing the top of the pile, she opened it up while pulling her calendar towards her.

  Looked like it was water first. Not a bad bill, and one that they were only a month behind on. But as she unfolded it and looked at the minimum due, she was surprised to see… nothing.

  Wait.

  What?

  She looked down the letter expecting to see past due reminders and a two-month past due bill, but instead there was nothing except the month of the bill and the amount listed as zero. “That’s impossible,” she whispered to herself.

  While that would have been nice, Chastity knew that now more than ever she needed the account balances to be correct. The last thing she wanted was to be presented with an even larger bill and more late penalties next month.

  She felt a smile cross her face. Just thinking how wonderful it would be if this were true. She pictured a large red stamp mark, angled across the bottom of the page reading “PAID IN FULL.”