Brothers of Miller Ranch Box Set

by Natalie Dean

  “And Dani doesn’t have a safe haven?”

  “She did, with her family. But now that her brothers are in the hospital and she blames herself, all of that is gone. She’s in a vulnerable position now, and a predator like Rachel could sense that.”

  “You think Rachel is a predator?”

  “I think all people have the capacity to be predatory. She didn’t like that Dani was trying to claim happiness that she didn’t think she deserved and wanted to punish her. I think the only reason she took it so far was because she could tell Dani was already struggling with everything else.”

  “I can’t believe you know all this, and you can just rattle it off like it’s fact. And I was an idiot who thought I was going to change everyone’s view of her single-handedly.”

  Keiko’s gaze sharpened ever so slightly. “And why do you want to change people’s view?”

  “Because I think she’s this great, impressive, brave person, and I don’t understand why others don’t see it.”

  “Others don’t see it because they just see a fat young woman and they assign all the negative character traits they’ve been taught go hand in hand with someone being plus-sized. They don’t value her strength because her muscles aren’t visible. They want her to be pretty how they expect her to be pretty, and nothing else will ever be enough.”

  “But I don’t get it,” Benji said, the conversation going a direction he hadn’t expected. “Missy is pretty the way people expect her to be pretty, but she used to get hassled all the time.”

  Keiko laughed ever so lightly at that, but the sound was dry and knowing. “I think you’ve found one of the catch-twenty-twos of being an outsider and a woman in this town. There’s no winning.”

  “How did I never see this before?”

  Benji sat on one of the stools. More and more of Dani was making sense, but at the same time, he was feeling pretty stupid for not catching on earlier.

  “Because people have never and will never treat your family that way. You’ve been shielded from all the negative things that Dani’s been enduring her whole life. So, if you came here to ask why she doesn’t trust you, that would be why.”

  “Actually,” Benji said with a sigh, rubbing his temples. “I was hoping to come to you to ask you how to fix all of this.”

  “Fix what?”

  “How I messed up. She snuck out of the restaurant and went home, and now she’s been hiding for days. I get that she might be embarrassed, or hurt, or any number of those things, but I want her to feel better and know she’s not alone.”

  “Why?”

  Benji looked to her in surprise, his gaze having been drawn to the floor as he imagined Dani laying in her bed, crying and lonesome.

  “Why what?”

  “Why do you want to fix it? Is it some need to save the day? You want her to date you? You have some compulsion to be a hero, or do you just like a good project?”

  “No, none of those things! I mean—” He paused to think. It would do no good to get flustered and say something wrong. “Yes, I’m attracted to Dani. And yes, I would like it if she’d let me get a do-over on the date, but that’s not why I want her to feel better.

  “I want to support her, to help her get over this because she deserves it. For some reason, she seems to have been given this awful hand that never relents, and I wish she could get a break! You know?

  “She works hard, she tries to do right by her family. She doesn’t bother anybody. So, if I can help her, if I can make all of these bad things go away for a little while, then that seems more than worth it to me.”

  A soft hand on his shoulder had him looking up at Keiko’s face. “You know, I always wondered if you Miller boys would use your influence to change this town for the better, and so far I haven’t been disappointed.”

  “What do you mean? My brothers and I haven’t changed anything.”

  He racked his brain to try to think of anything exceptionally special that they had done, but he came up empty. Sure, he had been helping the Touheys, but that wasn’t town-changing.

  She seemed to consider that. “Perhaps it’s best that you don’t see it. But anyway, yes, I will help you.”

  “Wait, really?”

  She nodded emphatically. “What can I say? It’s not often that a young, charming man comes to me, begging for help to treat my best friend like she deserves. I’m happy to help you make Dani feel better. And if something happens between the two of you because of that…” She shrugged. “Then perhaps it was meant to be.”

  Benji was on his feet and pulling her into a hug before his brain even processed what she was saying. It was a quick act, but when he let her go, she caught his chin with her tiny, slender fingers.

  “But I should make one thing clear. I love Dani so much that my heart often aches. If you do anything to hurt her, I will do a very unchristian thing and make your life utterly miserable.”

  Benji absolutely believed her. “I’ll make sure to remember that.”

  “Good.” She let go of his face and crossed to the fridge to pull out a pitcher of tea and a carton of juice. “That would do you well. Come, help with this and we’ll get started on our plan.”

  “And what’s our jumping off point?”

  “Well, first I’m going to have you tell me about your date, every exact detail, and we’ll go from there.”

  “That makes sense to me.”

  17

  Danielle

  Dani flopped back across her bed, looking up at the ceiling and rethinking all of the depressing, terrible things that she had been thinking over the past few days.

  Her parents thought that she had a stomach virus that wasn’t letting up, but in reality, it was more of a personal thing that was affecting her far more than it had any right to.

  One bad date wasn’t going to kill her. She’d been through worse and survived. So why was she moping around like it was the end of the world? She kept telling herself to get up and move on with her life, but she would just always end up in the same place again, laying across her bed and cycling through all those self-destructive thoughts.

  Being humiliated by Rachel had made her feel small and weak. She wasn’t small and weak, she knew that. Anyone could get hot food dumped on their head, and it spoke nothing of their character. But as much as she told herself that, all she really succeeded in doing was reminding herself of how other people in town loathed her and that she was powerless to do a single thing about it.

  She was sure the story had already gone through town like a wildfire, Rachel and her cronies finding a way to twist it to make Dani the villain. That thought made her sense of right and wrong flare up, which would always end in nausea because there just wasn’t anything she could do.

  And, of course, there was the embarrassment of all of it happening in front of Benji. He had seen how much of an outcast she was, and how all her strength was really just a farce. Yet again she was struck by her silliness at hoping that something could happen between them, even if it was all the way in the back of her mind.

  A soft knock sounded on her door and Dani had to withhold a groan. That wasn’t a nice sound to make when it was probably just her mother checking on her for the fourth time that day. Two of Mom’s sons were in the hospital. It wasn’t like Dani could blame her for being a bit hypercautious when she thought her third child was ill too.

  “Hey, Dani?”

  Wait, that definitely wasn’t her mother’s voice.

  Dani sat up to see Keiko at the door, dressed in a loose T-shirt and jeans. She always looked great no matter how she was dressed, and Dani was reminded that she hadn’t changed her own clothes in two days. She probably looked like a troll.

  “Keiko, what are you doing here?”

  “I was hoping to talk actually.”

  Dani looked over her friend and then flopped back with a groan. “You know about the diner?”

  “I know about the diner,” she said with a nod, coming to join Dani over on the bed. “You
know, your parents almost didn’t let me up here. Apparently, you’ve been sick with a stomach bug for a few days?”

  “Yeah. A real virulent one, so you should probably go before you catch something.”

  Keiko reached over and ruffled Dani’s semi-greasy hair. “Uh-huh, just like the bad stomach bug you got in freshmen year when you accidentally bled through your pants in school?”

  Dani groaned. “Why did you have to remind me of that?”

  “Because I want you to remember that things have been worse. The teasing and whispers that went on for months and you survived. And back then you had to see those people every single day.”

  “Ugh, is this where you tell me that I should ignore all those people and words can’t hurt me? Because I don’t know how much you know, but that gravy was hot.”

  “No, I’m not stupid enough to tell you that people’s words or opinions don’t matter. I spend multiple days a week just going over the words of a very old book and living my life by them. I know all of this hurts, and I would never invalidate how you feel by telling you that you shouldn’t let them get to you.”

  “Huh, thanks then, Keiko.” Dani straightened and tried to make herself look less like a homeless person. “But you don’t have enough cookies or quesadillas on you for this to be a commiseration trip, so why are you here?”

  Keiko smiled dreamily, looking to the ceiling. “I do love quesadillas. But no, this isn’t a commiseration visit. Although I’m not telling you that you shouldn’t care about what people say, I’m here to remind you that things are a lot different now. It’s not high school, with you and me against the world once your brothers graduated.”

  “Then why do I feel like I’m right back there?”

  “Because you’ve built up all your defenses to survive in that environment. I know it’s hard, but don’t you think there are a couple of them that you could drop and still live a fulfilling life?”

  Dani snorted. “Like what?”

  “Like automatically assuming the worst in people to preemptively defend yourself.”

  Ouch. She may have had a point, but that didn’t mean that Dani liked it. “But you have to admit, most people are pretty terrible and worth defending yourself from.”

  “I would argue against ‘most,’ but I won’t deny that there are some really vicious losers out there. But not everyone. Don’t you ever wonder if, perhaps, you’ve missed out on someone who could be a really great addition to your life because you’re so quick to believe that everyone is out to hurt you?”

  Her mind instantly went to Benji. There was the tiniest sliver of hope in her that maybe he didn’t judge her for the incident in the diner. That he wasn’t mad that she had run away, or thought she was absolutely childish because of the way she had reacted.

  Because how could he not take it personally? She had basically ghosted him on their first date instead of talking to him like an adult, then ran all the way to the city to make sure he couldn’t see her. Then she proceeded to skulk in her room for a few days like a hormonal teenager. How on earth would he ever want to talk to her again after that kind of behavior?

  But the thought of facing him, of being rejected, hurt more than it had any right to, and she flopped right back onto her bed again.

  “I dunno, maybe,” she answered, only barely remembering that Keiko had asked her a question. Unless it had been rhetorical, but sometimes it was hard to tell with her calm friend.

  “Hmm, maybe indeed.” She was quiet for several long moments before she too flopped on the bed, reaching over to entwine her finger with Dani’s. Her hands were so soft, missing all of the callouses and scars that Dani’s had from ranch life.

  The touch was comforting, helping fill some of the ache and embarrassment that had been ravaging her mood for the past few days.

  “Can I ask you a question?” Keiko asked finally, her voice soft and soothing enough not to break the calming mood that had settled over the room.

  “You know you can.”

  “You sure? It’s a bit personal.”

  “You’re my best friend. Personal questions and secrets are supposed to be like half of our conversations.”

  “Really? I didn’t know that it had been quantified. Do you have any studies to back that up?”

  Dani shook their joined hands. “Come on, out with it. I can tell when you’re beating around the bush.”

  “Well, since we’re talking about the diner, why were you there with Benji Miller?”

  Oh.

  Of course, she would ask that.

  That was the most titillating part of the gossip, right? What was he doing with someone like her?

  She knew that Keiko didn’t think about it in that negative light, but she couldn’t stop that dour, mouthy part of her brain from reiterating it anyway.

  “We were having a meal.”

  “But why? Was he doing a favor to your parents? Were you doing him a favor? Were you…” She hesitated a moment, as if she wasn’t sure she should say what she was thinking. “…on a date?”

  “Why does it matter?”

  Keiko rolled over so that she was staring at Dani’s profile. “Because I want to know what you think of him. Honestly.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I want to know what’s on my best friend’s mind. Do you think he set you up? Were you just going out to dinner with him as a thank-you? I know that a lot has been going on in your life lately, and I feel like we haven’t talked much about it all.”

  A tendril of guilt took hold of Dani. It had been a while since she and Keiko had gabbed. Maybe since the grocery store almost a month ago. That was far too long, but there’d just been so much going on in her head! “Yes. I was on a date.”

  She could feel Keiko perk up beside her and it was enough to make the corner of her mouth turn up in a grin.

  “Who asked who?” Keiko asked.

  “Does that matter?”

  “Yes. Tell me everything. Come on.”

  “I feel like this is unfair. You’ve never spilled any deep boy secrets to me.”

  “That’s because I’ve never had any deep boy secrets. I’ve never even had a crush that wasn’t buried in the pages of a book. Now come on, let me live a little vicariously, okay?”

  “Fine. I asked him.”

  “Why?”

  “What, is that the question of the day?”

  “Dani.”

  It was so easy to slip back into their usual banter, even though they were talking about something they’d never had to discuss before. It settled even more of Dani’s mood, and she was able to articulate what had been churning in a never-ending cyclone in her mind.

  “I asked him because he was turning all of my rules upside down. He was nice, but he didn’t seem to want anything. And he was funny. And the way he looked at me, I…” she threw her arm over her face and groaned. “It was like I was finally being seen.”

  “And I suppose it doesn’t hurt that he’s drop-dead gorgeous.”

  Dani rolled onto her own side, facing her friend. “I mean, it didn’t hurt, but that wasn’t a deciding factor. There are plenty of attractive guys in town, and I’m not attracted to them.”

  “Yeah, there are some good-looking guys, but any that attractive? I dunno.”

  “Okay, yes. Benji is very good-looking. He’s got those eyes, and that jaw, and that hair.” She shook her head, stopping herself from getting too caught up in it. “But that’s beside the point. I asked him out because I wanted to see if he really was different.”

  “And you wanted to see if he was different because you were attracted to him?”

  “Yeah, I guess.”

  “Dani, do you want to date Benji Miller?”

  Boy, she just went right for the throat, didn’t she? Dani didn’t answer right away, fearing what might happen if she admitted it out loud. She couldn’t believe that she was twenty-six and panting over the hot jock like all those girls she used to look down on in high school. She had thought she
was so much better them then, but really… they weren’t that different.

  Except for the whole bullying thing. That was a pretty stark contrast.

  “Yes,” she said finally, her heart squeezing so tightly in her chest that it made her feel flush all over. “I would like to date Benji Miller.” More words rushed out of her immediately, wanting to cover up the chink in her armor that she had just let show. “But I know how stupid that is. Like really. There’s no way someone that rich and handsome isn’t secretly evil, and also, people like him don’t date people like me.”

  Keiko's gaze grew serious. “What do you mean by that?”

  “Aw, come on, you know what I mean.”

  “No. I don’t. You’re a stubborn, intense person, yes. You’re determined and fierce, and you don’t trust very easily, but none of those make you undatable, so I want to know what you mean.”

  “Come on. I’m the fat girl, and he’s… well, he’s what he is. I’m poor, and his family is mega rich. They don’t even know what it’s like to worry about money. He’s charming and makes everybody feel good, and I usually can’t stop myself from correcting someone if they say something I think is wrong.”

  “Dani, don’t you normally love your body? Ever since we were young, I remember you telling me that fat is just an adjective, not a bad word. Where is this self-consciousness streak coming from?”

  “Yeah, I know that normally, but when I look at Benji, sometimes I can only think about all the things that I’m sure he believes. I assume that he’s like everyone else in high school, and even now.”

  “Hmm, I think there’s a phrase about what assuming does.”

  “Ugh, I know. How did I get to be such a mess? I always thought I had it all together.”

  “Well, you did suffer a pretty big trauma, and two of your closest loved ones are currently in the hospital, which you blame yourself for. I’ve always suspected you’ve struggled with depression your whole life, but I think recent events might have really aggravated it.”

  “Thanks for the psychoanalysis,” Dani groused, turning over her friend’s words in her head.