Off the Grid

by Lesley Choyce

  I felt bad for him and wanted to ask more questions, but I knew I’d be intruding on something private and personal. “My dad’s in the hospital here. That’s why we’re in town.”

  “Sorry to hear that, man.”

  “I’m staying with my mom in an apartment. Maybe we can help you out.”

  He shook his head again. “Thanks, but no. Sounds like you have your own grief. I’ll be okay. Made it this far. Me and Genius here.” He looked at his dog, and the dog wagged his tail.

  “See you around,” I said.

  “Cheers.”

  I walked on, thinking about him. Another piece of this large puzzle—life in the city—that just didn’t seem to make a whole lot of sense. When I turned the corner near a store that sold musical instruments, I caught something out of the corner of my eye. No way.

  Yeah. I was being followed. Austin and one of his friends. The one Alexis had said was named Jacob. I turned down another street and, sure enough, they followed. I pretended I hadn’t noticed them and kept on walking. There was an old cemetery up ahead. I liked the look of all the big trees and the green grass. I headed in that direction.

  Funny how your brain works. I was remembering what my father had taught me about bears—black bears. If you ever come across one in the woods, leave it alone and back away slowly, giving the bear eye contact. Don’t run, because he can outrun you. Don’t go in the water, because he can outswim you. And whatever you do, don’t climb a tree—for obvious reasons. If the bear doesn’t leave you alone, put your arms up in the air to make yourself look larger. Make noises if you have to. If he comes after you, don’t lie on the ground—fight back. It’s the only thing you can do.

  I’d come across bears in the woods. Not often, but a few times. I could always just back away and they’d leave me alone. Bears don’t really want to eat people. They just want to be left alone.

  Austin and Jacob were on my trail and getting closer. Maybe going into the cemetery wasn’t such a good idea. And I was thinking it was too bad that mean goofs like these guys weren’t a little more like bears.

  So I stopped and turned. They walked right up to me.

  “Visiting dead relatives?” Austin asked.

  “Just out for a walk,” I said. Jacob circled behind me. “Yeah, we noticed. We thought we’d join you for a stroll.”

  “No thanks. I’d rather be alone with my thoughts.” I shifted my weight and stood so I could see them both, then began to back away over the green grass over the graves.

  “A lot of dead people in here,” Jacob said. I saw the look in his eyes. It wasn’t good.

  “I’m just gonna walk away, okay?” I said. I was trying to stay cool, but maybe I sounded too much like a wimp.

  “No, it’s not okay,” Austin said. He lunged at me, but it was easy to shift out of his way. He went down face first. I tried to turn, but Jacob had come up from behind and grabbed my arms. There were some older people on the walkway not far away, and they were watching. A man was talking into his cell phone.

  Austin was getting up off the ground, and I knew I had to make my move if I was going to get away. So I shoved Jacob to break his hold on me. He fell backward and landed hard on the gravestone behind him. I thought I heard something snap as his arm hit the stone. Austin lunged at me again, but he was clumsy and it was easy enough to deflect him and shove him back onto the ground.

  I waited. I wanted to finish this and not have to deal with these creeps again. I stood my ground.

  Jacob was whimpering now. “You broke my freaking arm.” And then: “Somebody help me.” Austin started to get to his feet again, and he had venom in his eyes. He was more interested in getting another shot at me than helping his friend. And what if I had really broken Jacob’s arm?

  So I kept my eyes locked on Austin. “Let’s get him some help,” I said, trying to be reasonable.

  “You’re gonna be the one who needs help, asshole,” he said. He was reaching into his pocket for something.

  That’s when I saw a policeman coming through the gates of the cemetery and running our way.

  I now had at least two good reasons to get the hell out of there.

  So I ran as fast as I could toward the far end of the cemetery and through the gate. The running felt good. But I knew this wasn’t over.

  Chapter Eight

  I’d been afraid before, really afraid. Lost in the forest, stumbling around trying to find my way home. And once, when I was thirteen, all alone and far from home, I’d tripped on a root and ripped open my leg. It was bleeding and it hurt to walk. Somehow my dad found me and carried me home. I asked him how he knew I was hurt and he said he just knew. He said he could see it in his mind. We were that close.

  So I understood fear. But nothing like this. I was in a world I didn’t understand, and I knew I was in trouble. If Jacob was really hurt, there would be a story. It wouldn’t be the true story or the full story, but Austin and Jacob would put the full blame on me. And the police would listen. I’d already been told I’d be in big trouble if I got into another fight. They would charge me with assault this time. I’d been told I was old enough for them to put me in jail. And I knew I couldn’t handle that. I could handle the isolation but not being imprisoned. I’d go crazy.

  I wanted badly to go to my mom, but the police knew where I lived. And I wanted some advice from my dad, but even if he was awake, I didn’t want to trouble him with this.

  So I was alone and on my own in the worst kind of wilderness. It was a whole new kind of fear.

  I kept walking. I was now far away from the cemetery and circling back toward the library. I found myself in the little park near the fountain and realized I was looking for someone, anyone, to help me figure this out. And the only person I could think of was Ernest. It took a while, but I found him. He was sitting in an alley with a couple of his drinking buddies, and he waved when he saw me coming.

  They were a ratty-looking pack of unshaven men, some toothless and long-haired, but they seemed more like my kind of people than anyone else in this crazy city. I asked Ernest if he could walk with me for a bit. “Sure thing, Cody boy,” he said.

  Ernest weaved some as we walked, and I’m sure we looked like an odd pair, but he listened intently to my story. “Jesus, Holy Christ,” he said. “Sounds like you’re up shit creek without a paddle.”

  “I can’t go to the apartment,” I said. “And I can’t bring this down on my dad. I don’t know what to do.”

  Ernest seemed a little more clear-headed now and asked if I had any money for coffee.

  “Sorry, I don’t have a cent.”

  “But we need coffee. You and me.”

  I didn’t drink coffee, but I needed Ernest, and he sure needed some coffee. I remembered the kid I had met earlier that day. “Okay,” I said. “Sit on this bench and let me see what I can do.”

  I started asking people for change. I got a few nasty looks, but quite a few people were generous. It only took me twenty minutes to get over four dollars. I showed Ernest the money.

  “That’ll do it,” he said.

  We went into a Dunkin’ Donuts shop and I ordered coffee and some donuts. We sat in a booth and I looked around at the other people. None of them looked like they had the problems I had.

  “So what can I do to help?” Ernest asked.

  “I need a place to stay,” I said. “A place to hide.”

  “Okay. I can take care of that. But it ain’t going to be a four-star hotel.”

  We lingered in the coffee shop until the manager asked us to leave. Ernest nodded. “I’m used to it, Cody. No big deal. Guess you and I weren’t on the invitation list.” And then he laughed his funny little laugh that usually ended with a long coughing fit.

  Our accommodation for the night was an unlocked shed of sorts beneath an outside stairway. Cardboard boxes lined the floor, and there were a couple of old blankets in there. We didn’t go in until the sun had set, and inside it was dark. Very dark. Ernest fell asleep almost
instantly. I sat up in the darkness, grieving the loss of my old life, worrying about my fate and, most of all, thinking about my mother and father. It was a long and unhappy night.

  Ernest wasn’t in good shape in the morning. “I got a headache. My back hurts and my teeth ache,” he said. “But none of that is new. What about you, young man? What’s next?”

  During the night, I’d realized I had to see my parents. “I gotta see my dad,” I said. “I gotta make sure he’s okay. After that, I don’t know.”

  “You want me to go with you?”

  “No. I need to do this on my own.” I knew that hauling old Ernest along to the hospital would make us stand out, and I couldn’t chance that.

  It wasn’t difficult to walk into the hospital, take the back stairs up to the cancer ward and go into my dad’s room without being noticed. My mom was there with him, holding his hand, and she looked worried. When she saw me, she gasped, jumped up and gave me a crushing hug. “Thank God,” she said. My dad was awake and propped up in bed but looking weak. I walked over to him and gave him a hug.

  “The police came,” my mom said. “More trouble. They want to question you.”

  I explained what had happened and said I was sorry for not coming home. My dad watched me gravely as I told my story. “What should I do?” I asked, looking at Mom and then at Dad.

  My dad motioned me nearer. I leaned in close to him. I don’t know if it was the cancer or the drugs he had been given, but something had given him a hollow look. His eyes were glazed, and he was breathing funny.

  “Cody,” he said, pausing to take two deep breaths. “You have to leave here. You have to go home.” I looked over at my mom, who was now crying. She nodded in agreement.

  We sat together in silence for a few minutes as it began to sink in. I didn’t want to leave them. But there was nothing I could do to help them. And if I stayed and was arrested, it would only cause them more grief. I wanted to scream or cry, but I held back everything and remained silent.

  I gave my dad another big hug. “I’ll be okay,” I said. “You always said I had good survival skills.”

  My mom kissed me on the neck. “Be careful,” she told me.

  As I slipped out the door, I felt like I was abandoning them forever, but I knew I had to try to get back home. As I walked down the hallway, I saw a police officer at the far end, speaking to a nurse. I had no way of knowing if he was looking for me, but I wasn’t about to chance walking past him.

  I opened the stairwell door and heard footsteps coming up the stairs. Before I could turn back, I saw that it was DeMarco and Alexis.

  Chapter Nine

  “What are you guys doing here?” I asked.

  “You didn’t show up at school,” DeMarco said, “so I talked to Costanzo. He said the police were looking for you. Was it Austin again?”

  “Yeah. And Jacob. I think I may have broken his arm.”

  “Are you joking?” Alexis said.

  “I didn’t mean to. What’s with those two anyway?”

  DeMarco shook his head. “They’ve been like that ever since I can remember. I could always get them to lighten up on me. But you, Cody, you must’ve pushed all the wrong buttons.”

  I took a gulp of air. “Look. I’ve realized something. I don’t belong here. I don’t belong in your school and I don’t belong in this city. I’m leaving.”

  “Where are you gonna go?” Alexis asked, real concern in her voice.

  “Home. Where else can I go?”

  “But your parents are here, Cody,” DeMarco said. “You’d be all alone out there in the woods.”

  “I can take care of myself.”

  “How are you going to get there?” Alexis asked.

  “I don’t know,” I admitted.

  “We’ll go with you,” DeMarco said. “We’ll figure something out.” Alexis looked me in the eye and nodded.

  “I don’t know,” I said. “But let’s get out of here before someone comes looking for me.”

  We walked down the stairs, through the crowded lobby and out into the bright, cool morning. “Good day for an adventure,” Alexis said, trying to put a good spin on it. “I say we get down to the harbor and take the ferry first. That will get you out of town, Cody, and headed in the right direction. We’ll figure out something from there.”

  “Sure.” I’d seen the ferry from the bridge over the harbor when we had first come into the city. The ferry was just the first leg of the journey. Once we got to the other side, we’d have to find a bus that would take us part of the way down the shore. But after that we’d be on our own. We’d have to hitchhike maybe.

  Alexis guided us to the waterfront and paid for all of us to get on the ferry. We walked around the boat on the outside deck, and I breathed in the sweet salt air. It was intoxicating. I felt better already. DeMarco stood looking over the rail and down into the water. Alexis was studying me. “So that’s what you look like when you smile,” she said.

  “Was I smiling?”

  “Well, you didn’t have that beaten-dog look you’ve been wearing.”

  The ferry began to move away from the dock. The motion felt good. I was going home. “I’d never be able to fit in here.”

  “You’re not alone,” Alexis said. “I know I’m not the same as you, but I’ve felt that way most of my life. So I stopped trying.”

  “But you grew up here. Your home is here.”

  “It doesn’t matter.”

  I started to walk to the back of the ferry. Alexis and DeMarco followed. We watched as the buildings of the city grew smaller in the distance. “Ever since my dad got sick, everything changed. First he said it was nothing, that he was going to be all right. But he kept getting worse. Against his wishes, my mom took him to a doctor. He had some tests. Then we had to come here. He hated making us leave our home and come to the city.”

  “What were your parents thinking anyway?” Alexis asked. “When they moved so far away and dropped out of everything?”

  “It was before I was born. They were very idealistic. They wanted to live a simple life. I heard my dad’s speech a million times. They didn’t want to be corrupted by money or possessions—anything more than what they needed to survive. My dad would say, We don’t want to be a burden to the planet. I know that sounds whacked. But you don’t know my parents. We grew most of our own food. My dad homeschooled me. He had to write up reports for the government, but everyone pretty much left us alone.”

  “I think it sounds amazing,” Alexis said. “I mean, I know all kinds of people who claim to be environmentally aware, but they’re all hypocrites. Even me.”

  “For them it’s more than that. It’s like a religion, I guess. They were trying to live according to what they believed. Self-sufficiency, being at one with nature, avoiding what my dad would call all the corruption of modern living.”

  “Man, that’s some heavy shit,” DeMarco said. “I don’t think I’ve ever met people like that. Must be kind of weird being raised by a couple of saints.”

  “Well, they aren’t exactly perfect, but they are unique. They’ve lived what they truly believe to be right. That’s the only life I know. And they’ve taught me well. They’ve taught me to be true to myself.”

  “Amen,” DeMarco said. “What else did they teach you?”

  “Survival skills. Good survival skills. The only problem is, the rules of survival in the city are a whole lot different from the rules of wilderness survival.”

  DeMarco looked serious. “So if we get to your old homestead, Cody, you might have to teach us some of those survival skills. I’m assuming you can’t walk to the corner 7-Eleven for a snack whenever you feel like it. We gonna have to fight off bears or what?”

  “You don’t fight with bears, believe me.” I turned and smiled at him. But as I looked over his shoulder through the window of the inside passenger area, something caught my eye.

  It was Ernest, slumped over in a seat.

  Chapter Ten

  Because it
was the middle of the day, there were only a handful of other passengers in the seating area. DeMarco and Alexis followed me inside. Just like Ernest to conk out again somewhere in public, I thought. I shook him gently at first but didn’t get a response. I shook a little harder, “Ernest, are you okay?”

  His eyes slowly opened, and he looked frightened. Then he realized it was me. “Cody. Jesus, lad. At first I thought you were my father. I must have been dreaming.”

  “Do I look like your father?” I joked, relieved the guy had just been asleep and not dead.

  He took a deep breath and tried to straighten himself up. “No. It was just the dream. But the damn man keeps showing up when I sleep. When I was a kid, he beat the crap out of me on a regular basis. Nothing I ever did was good enough for him. And he told me so. He still haunts me, the old goon, even though he’s dead.”

  I introduced DeMarco and Alexis.

  “Shouldn’t you hoodlums be in school?” Ernest asked.

  I explained my current problems.

  “Running away from shit like that usually doesn’t work. It’s like running from my old man. He always caught up with me. He still catches up with me.”

  I guess I rolled my eyes a bit. Look who was giving me advice.

  “I wanted to get the hell out of the city too. But the farther away I went, the more lost I felt. So I came back. Not much of a life, I guess, but at least I know my way around.”

  “What are you doing on the ferry?” Alexis asked. “Where are you going?”

  He laughed. “Oh, I’m not going anywhere. It’s a cheap ride. I like the feel of the water under the boat. I get to sleep. Usually I can go back and forth a few times before they put me ashore. They all know me, so they leave me alone unless someone complains.”

  The ferry was coming into the dock on the other side of the harbor now. I’d never experienced anything quite like it before. I thought for a second we were going to crash, we were moving so fast, but whoever was steering cut the engines and we glided to a stop right beside the dock. Some people were standing there, waiting to get on board. One of them was a cop. I nodded to DeMarco.