A Journey of the Heart Collection

by Colleen Coble

  Hannah’s expression turned mutinous as she opened her mouth to argue further.

  “Don’t push me, Hannah. I know you’re concerned, but I have to be sure in my own mind why she took up with Ben. She was mighty young when I left for the war—only sixteen. I need to be sure she knows her own mind.”

  Hannah sighed impatiently. “Why are men so thickheaded?” She rolled her eyes.

  Rand grinned and pushed away from the table. “It’s the only protection we have against you women.” He stood and stretched. “Better get to the fields. I’ll help all I can while I’m here.”

  “What about your leg?”

  “I feel fine, Sis. And I need to work at getting my strength back.” He grabbed his hat and followed his brothers out the door.

  Out on the porch, Jacob stopped and thrust his hands in his pockets. “Don’t you know how rare it is to find someone to love the way you love Sarah? Don’t throw it away.”

  Rand looked away. “Nothing was like I expected, Jake. Things turned out pretty well for you, though. You and Amelia. You’ll be married and off on an adventure together.”

  “You could be, too, if you weren’t so pigheaded.” Jacob’s lips flattened, then finally curved into a smile. “Swallow your pride. Go see Sarah. She never stopped loving you. She pined for you. Haven’t you even noticed how thin she is? If losing you once nearly destroyed her, what do you think losing you again would do to her? You’ll come back and find her dead and buried.”

  Rand inhaled sharply at the thought. He stared into his brother’s brown eyes and saw the certainty there. “It wouldn’t hurt to just talk, I reckon.”

  Jacob clapped his hand on Rand’s shoulder. “Then get to it. I can handle the plowing.”

  Sarah sighed as she stared across the river. What could she do to change Rand’s mind? She hadn’t heard a word from him all day. Should she try to find him? But he’d said to give him some time. So she’d come to their favorite spot to wait him out. She leaned down and picked up a flat rock. She skimmed it across the water, and it skipped three times. Not very good. She was losing her touch. She reached down for another rock.

  “The last time I saw you do that, it skipped six times.”

  She turned immediately and smiled. Rand. It was almost as if her hopeless wishing had conjured him up. “Oh, Rand, I’m so glad you came.”

  He held out his arms, and she rushed into them. The scent of his hair tonic slipped up her nose. A familiar scent that clouded her thoughts into a hopeless jumble.

  She buried her face in his broad chest and clung until he lifted her chin. His brown eyes searched her face, and the touch of his breath on her cheek was like a caress. She’d waited so long for this. His mouth came down on hers, so tentative yet so familiar. As his lips touched hers, she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back with all the love in her heart.

  He pulled her closer, his right hand pressing her waist. His passionate response convinced her she hadn’t lost him after all. It would be all right. It had to be.

  “I tried to stay away, Green Eyes, but I couldn’t,” he whispered. He loosed his grip on her with a sigh.

  She refused to step away and clung to his shirt with both hands. “I’m so sorry about Ben.” How did she even begin to explain?

  “It’s not your fault.” He shook his head. “I realized it as soon as I cooled down enough to think. I can’t blame you for wanting to go on with your life.”

  “You are my life. Nothing seemed real with you gone. I-I knew I couldn’t be happy, so I thought if everyone else was happy, it would be enough.” She swallowed hard, remembering the hopelessness of her future. “But I dreaded the very thought of marriage.” She looked up at him.

  “You’re that opposed to marrying?” His dimple flashed.

  The pressure in her chest increased. “Not to marrying the right man.”

  “And who would that be?” His voice held a teasing lilt she hadn’t heard in so long.

  “I think you know.” The joy she felt inside almost couldn’t be contained. “James Benson left on the wagon train last May, and his cabin is still empty. We can live there until our place is built on our knoll.”

  Rand’s smile faded and he looked away. “I can’t stay, Sarah. I’m still in the cavalry. I’m heading out West in a couple of days.”

  She inhaled and held her breath as his words soaked in. “Not staying here?” She stared at him. “But we’ve always planned to build on the knoll and help Papa with the farm. He’s not well, Rand. I can’t go running off out West and leave him. Besides, where else would we go?”

  “I’m going West.” He reached out and wrapped a strand of her hair around his finger. “Your pa will understand. He came here with your ma and settled just like I want to do. He wasn’t content to stay in Philadelphia.”

  The very thought filled her with terror. “That was different. He was poor and had no prospects. You have land here, both mine and yours from your pa. Can’t you ask to be released so you can heal?” She wanted to grab him and shake some sense into him. “Surely you’re not serious about this scheme. We’ve made too many other plans.”

  “It’s not different. Once my enlistment’s over, I don’t want to take something another man built. There’s so much opportunity out West, Sarah. Land for the taking, gold, new businesses.” His dark eyes glowed, and he gripped her shoulders in his big hands. “It will be a great life. Besides, do you really think Wade and I could get along well enough to work together?”

  “Rand.” Panic stole her breath. “I couldn’t leave Papa. You haven’t seen how ill he’s been. He seems to go downhill every day. It would kill him for me to leave.”

  He frowned. “I saw how poorly he looked. But Sarah, he would understand. He wouldn’t want you to stop living because of him. Let’s go ask him.” He took her arm and started toward the house, but she pulled away.

  “No! I don’t want to upset him. I just can’t go now. Can’t you wait? Just until he doesn’t need me? He doesn’t have very long. The doctor said maybe a year.”

  “I have my orders and a letter to deliver for General Sherman. I have to go.”

  She took a deep breath and stepped back from him. “You can’t ask me to sacrifice my father.” Tears filled her eyes as she saw Rand’s face fall. She couldn’t leave Papa.

  “I understand. I love your father too. Good-bye, Sarah. Have a good life.” He turned and left her standing on the path.

  She opened her mouth to call him back, but the words died in her throat. What was the use? She couldn’t go and he wouldn’t stay. It was as simple as that. He didn’t really love her, or he wouldn’t ask her to leave Papa. Not as sick as he was. Couldn’t Rand see that? She grabbed a flat stone and hurled it toward the water. It skipped seven times and sank. But there was no one left to see.

  ONE

  SEPTEMBER 22, 1865

  The town of Wabash, Indiana, bustled with activity as the horse’s hooves clopped along the plank street and up the hill. Rand Campbell reined in the mare pulling the family buckboard and stopped in front of the train depot. The engine shrieked and puffed out a billow of soot that burned his throat as he, Jacob, and Shane climbed down. Now that the time had arrived for his departure, Rand wished he had been able to stay longer. Leaving his mother and father had been rough. Ma had cried, then pressed his grandma’s Bible into his hand before hurrying away, and Pa wouldn’t even come out of the barn to say good-bye.

  Shane snuffled, and Rand ruffled his brother’s blond hair, then hugged him. “I’m counting on you to take care of the family, squirt.” Though at fifteen, the lad was eye level with Rand.

  Shane bit his quivering l
ip and nodded, straightening his shoulders. He trotted around behind the buckboard, heaved the saddle over one shoulder, then led Ranger to the waiting train. Rand’s horse would accompany him west.

  Rand put his hand in his pocket. His fingers rubbed against a familiar round shape. He’d smuggled it into the prison in his shoe and had spent months sanding off the engraving on the golden eagle coin before chiseling his and Sarah’s names into the gold.

  His gaze swept the familiar sights of Wabash at the top of the hill. The whitewashed courthouse, the jail to the west of it, and the bustle of Commercial Row just down the steep Wabash Street hill made his heart ache at the thought of leaving. But knowing he’d never see Sarah again hurt the most.

  He’d come home after his internment in Andersonville Prison to find his fiancée engaged to Ben Croftner. When things were sorted out and Ben’s lies were exposed, Rand had hoped Sarah would go west with him, but she’d put her family above him. He’d taken that hurt and used it to build a wall around his heart.

  He fingered the love token. What good would it do in his pocket? He’d never give it to anyone else because he’d never feel like this about anyone else. That kind of love was dead for him.

  He pulled out the token and thrust it into Jacob’s hand. “Give this to Sarah, Jake. Tell her I’m sorry it didn’t work out and I hope she has a happy life.”

  Jacob’s fingers closed around the token. “You make it sound like there’s no hope for the two of you.”

  “There isn’t. I wish it weren’t so, but I doubt I’ll see Sarah again.” Rand hefted the haversack over his shoulder and picked up the hamper of food, then his satchel.

  “All aboard!”

  He was a cavalry man, and this was what he wanted—a life he made for himself, beholden to no one. After one last look at his brothers, he raced toward the plodding train and jumped up the steep steps. He caught one last glimpse of Jacob, standing with one arm upraised, his other arm around their younger brother, Shane. Rand waved until the buckboard with the two figures beside it was no longer in view, then took a deep breath and limped to a vacant seat. His great adventure was about to begin.

  Sarah Montgomery sat on a rock along the banks of the Wabash River and listened to the train whistle blow as the engine left the station. The sun on this fine September day warmed her face. A robin, its red breast a bright flash of color, fluttered by to land on a nearby gooseberry bush. The bird swooped down to grab a worm. The rhythm of life went on even though her heart felt dead in her chest. She was only nineteen, but right now she felt like ninety.

  How did she go on after losing Rand and then finding him again, only to watch him leave her without a thought? Time stretched in front of her, a lifetime spent without the man she’d loved since she was a girl. A vision of his dark hair and eyes resided in her heart and always would.

  She picked up the book she’d brought with her, A Christmas Carol. The novel absorbed her until the sun moved lower in the sky. She closed it and glanced around to make sure she had all her belongings before going back to the house to start dinner.

  “Sarah?”

  She looked up to see Jacob, Rand’s younger brother, approaching with a tentative smile. “He’s gone?”

  Jacob, dressed in his blue cavalry uniform, took off his wide-brimmed hat and turned it in his hands. “I’m sorry, Sarah. How you doing?”

  Though her eyes burned, she was past tears. “I’ll be fine.” She tipped up her chin. “I have Papa and Joel to care for.” She studied the compassion in Jacob’s brown eyes. “D-Did he say anything about me?”

  Jacob nodded and stepped closer. He pulled his hand from his pocket, and something metallic winked in the sunlight. “He asked me to give you this.”

  She rose from her perch on a rock and reached out to take it from him. Her fingers rubbed over the gold metal. “A love token.” She choked out the words as she stared at the words engraved in the metal. Rand and Sarah.

  “He worked on this in prison.”

  Her fingers traced the engraving. “Did he say anything about me joining him?”

  Jacob’s eyes held sympathy as he shook his head. “No, he didn’t, Sarah. I’m sorry. H-He said to tell you he was sorry it didn’t work out and he hoped you’d have a happy life.”

  The pain crushed in on her again. The good-bye was final, just like the one that loomed with her father. Her fingers closed around the coin, and the edges bit into her palm. “Thank you, Jacob. I’ll treasure it.”

  Kansas City was a sprawling assortment of wooden shops and storefronts. The streets teemed with horses and cattle, buggies and buckboards. And people. Everywhere, people hurried across the muddy streets and crowded the uneven boardwalks. Rand felt invigorated by the hustle and bustle, despite the smell of manure and the distant lowing of cattle from the stockyards.

  A broad-shouldered man shouting orders to his cowboys pushed past Rand with a brief tip of his hat. Rand stared after him. His stint in the cavalry would give him the opportunity to find his own spread. Someday he’d bring his own cattle to a stockyard like this one.

  Across from the depot was the Holladay Stagecoach station, and he walked across the street and stood in line behind another soldier. “Heading to Fort Leavenworth, then on to Fort Laramie too?”

  The other man turned with a grin on his open, friendly face. “Sure am. Been on leave and kinda hate to go back. You new?”

  “Lieutenant Rand Campbell.” He thrust out a soot-streaked hand.

  “Lieutenant Isaac Liddle.” He shook Rand’s proffered hand, then took off his wide-brimmed hat and wiped his forehead with a bandanna. “What unit you with?”

  “H Troop, Third Cavalry. You?”

  “Third Battalion. You’re going to like Old Bedlam. You heard of it?”

  Rand shook his head, liking the looks of his companion. Isaac reminded him in some ways of Jacob. Though Isaac had auburn hair and a dusting of freckles, he had the same muscular build and quiet, friendly manner as Jacob. Strong, capable hands. A man you could depend on. And from what he’d heard of the Indian Wars, you wanted that kind of man around.

  Isaac grinned. “It’s what we call the single officers’ quarters. It came by its name legitimate. A lot of loud shenanigans go on at all hours. At least I assume that’s where you’ll be quartered. I don’t see a pretty lady with you. You’re not married?”

  “No.” He pushed away an image of Sarah’s heart-shaped face, long red-gold hair, and dancing green eyes.

  “I was hopin’. Fort Laramie doesn’t have many women right now.” He put his hat back. “Where you from?”

  “Wabash, Indiana. Born and raised on a farm about two miles out of town.” Rand was grateful for the change in topic. “Where you hail from?”

  “El Paso, Texas.” Isaac held one hand out in front of him hastily when he saw Rand’s eyebrows rise. “But I fought for the Union.”

  That explained his accent. The line moved forward, and Rand followed. “What’s the status of the Indian Wars?”

  Isaac frowned. “We got trouble brewing with Red Cloud. That’s why so many are being sent out for reinforcements. They haven’t attacked Laramie yet, but we have to send out troops even on woodcutting duty. Maybe it’s a good thing you don’t have a wife. She would be an added worry.”

  Jacob was bringing Amelia. Rand glanced toward the telegraph station. There was no time to send a telegram to his brother, though, and even if he did, Rand didn’t see Amelia agreeing to stay behind. A frown on his face, he picked up his luggage, waved to Isaac, then went to the livestock car to get Ranger for the trek to Fort Leavenworth.

  Rand’s brass buttons and buckles glimmered in the sunshine, and Ranger’s sleek black coat
shone. He and his detachment met Major DuBois about three miles north of Fort Leavenworth. There was no mistaking the major. He sat on his black horse with stiff military bearing, and his uniform was precisely brushed and neat.

  Rand saluted. “Good morning, sir. I’m Lieutenant Campbell, and I’m pleased to escort you to Fort Laramie.” He’d been at Fort Leavenworth a week when he was ordered to meet a column and escort them on to Fort Laramie.

  The major saluted smartly. “At ease, Lieutenant.” He dismounted and motioned for Rand to do the same. “How’s the situation with the Indians? Any trouble brewing?”

  Rand dismounted and joined the major. “Nothing I can put my finger on, sir. But I have an uneasy feeling that something’s brewing that we can’t see right now. There have been grumblings about the miners tramping through the Sioux hunting grounds on the Bozeman Trail. Red Cloud hasn’t come in for rations, and some of our tame Oglala Sioux say he’s calling for a fight to the knife. I don’t trust him.”

  The major waved his hand dismissively. “We’ll deal with him if he steps out of line.”

  The flap to the ambulance behind them opened and a young woman stepped through the opening. “Good morning, Daddy. Why have we stopped? Have we arrived?”

  Something about her reminded Rand of Sarah. Maybe it was the sweet smile she directed his way or the red in her hair. He waited to be introduced.

  The major smiled. “Lieutenant, I’d like you to meet my daughter, Jessica. And my wife, Mrs. DuBois. Ladies, this is Lieutenant Rand Campbell. He has come to escort us into the fort.”

  “Call me Letty, dear,” the older woman, a softer, plumper version of the daughter, murmured as she placed her round hand in Rand’s.

  Rand gripped it briefly and muttered some response, but his gaze was on the major’s daughter. Her fiery red hair was arranged in a mass of curls that framed her delicate face in a halo of color. She smiled at him as though he were the first man she’d ever seen.