Darling Discovered
Page 22
“I can!” I burst in with emphatic conviction. The first raindrop hits my nose and I hear thunder roll. The beach-goers quickly head to the parking lots, oblivious to our entire world being decided. “I will Leo, I do already. I am so sorry. Please-”
“I don’t know if I believe it. It seems so easy to say Chloe. But how am I supposed to really believe that the next time a woman calls my phone you won’t split again? That you won’t take my family away from me? This is a nightmare. My very worst nightmare.” Leo’s voice cracks with pain.
Try as I might to simply lay down I can’t help but bristle up over his participation in the whole thing:
“It’s not that easy, Leo. You cheated. When I was pregnant. It’s pretty much the shittiest thing I can imagine doing to another person. And this whole issue could have been avoided had you included me in this house thing. You could have told me about it. Not hidden the calls.”
“But my phone will always ring!” Leo shouts. I can see fury boiling inside of him as he is struggling to keep it under control. He’s pissed. And now it’s sprinkling on us.
“My phone will always have strangers call! I will get texts from men and women that you don’t know every day. Every day! I can’t do what I do to support us, to keep you home and comfortable, if I can’t work. You said you’d trust me. You failed. You made a mistake Chloe, a big one like I did, and now we need to decide how to move forward. If we can trust again. If we can fix this mistake.”
“I know we can Sir...”
My voice drops off at the title but I force myself to continue, to try and make him believe in me. Believe in us.
“I know we can Leo because I learned something about trust since being gone. I dunno if I could have learned it any other way but I finally understand!
“’Trust’ is just as much about me trusting in myself as much as it is about trusting you. I don’t need to be your wife or your submissive. I’ve proven to myself that if something bad were to happen I’d make it. I know that now. That’s really the trust I was missing. Trusting that I am a strong enough woman to handle whatever life throws at me.
“And isn’t this a better way? Instead of feeling dependent on you I just wanna be with you. I want to be your wife! I want to be your submissive! I miss my ring Sir. I miss my collar.”
I choke out the last admissions with a sob. The tears missing from the past month finally come and empty out. He stares at me pitifully crying in the rain. Studies me. Gauges my words.
Leo, not short for anything fancy, just my Leo, slowly reaches into the pocket of his now thoroughly soaked pants and I watch the raindrops fall off his eyelashes. He pulls out my wedding ring and holds it across to me in silence.
Instead of taking it from him I hold out my left hand; he slips it on me like he did the day we became man and wife.
Leo shouts over the din of the increasing downpour, “What did you think of the house?”
Without hesitation I shout back, “I love it!”
Just as quickly he responds, “I love you.”
We move forward timidly and kiss in the rain until our mouths feel familiar again; until the sky entirely opens up. I let out a squeal as Leo grabs my hand and we run together to the parking lot, where I will let him lead me home.
Epilogue
I’ve just been captured and devoured in our private yard surrounding the grey two story home by Mr. Leo Donnovan. My Dominant. My husband.
He’s now relaxing in our oversized bed-of-branches eating the reheated pasta dinner that could almost be called breakfast at this point, watching a sports recap quietly, decompressing after such an intense night of play.
I step out of the shower in the connected master bathroom and steam envelops everything. Enjoying this quiet time to myself I sit nude and damp on a towel covering my makeup chair in front of the bathroom vanity. Wiping the makeup mirror I stare at myself magnified 5 times. More than I’d ever dreamt possible I am completely content with who I see. The contentedness has nothing to do with my physical features.
I’m seeing a woman who wakes up every morning unapologetically herself. A woman who continues to grow and learn. A woman who is in a happy, loving marriage. Raising a happy, loving family.
A woman who trusts her husband.
A woman who trusts herself.
I am Chloe Donnovan and I am a submissive. I am my husband’s sexual submissive and service submissive. We are in the midst of our second six month D/s contract and I have yet to be able to negotiate my way into getting my right to orgasm back. Maybe next time we re-sign, I think wistfully. I’m already practicing my speech.
My Dominant controls my nights and my days, my goals and my fantasies, my clothes and my attitude, my every move. This power he has taken frees me to be me. The woman I see magnified in the mirror chased the life of her dreams and won.
I am the Mister’s Darling.
Suddenly exhausted from the takedown and the adrenalin I put on only a light spritz of Romance to wear to bed and join Mr. Donnovan under the covers.
Without saying a word my husband turns off the television and pulls me into him so close that it would feel suffocating if it weren’t so comforting.
I try to catch a few moments of shut eye before the alarm goes off and I have to pick up our girl from Grandma’s house but my mind wanders. I turn over ideas about what to get Leo for our second wedding anniversary coming up soon.
Cotton. The traditional gift for the second year is cotton of all things. How could I ever top my paper gift?
I smile at the memory, drifting off to sleep with a pleasantly aching body, peace in my heart, my faithful partner by my side, and the comforting knowledge that tomorrow I will get to wake up and simply be me. The real me.
Flaws and all.
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Acknowledgements
How can I possibly begin to say thank you to all of those who have supported me in this venture? This storytelling- my personal story telling- came out of catharsis; the need to cut it out of my soul and tuck it away and revisit it when I want instead of the past always floating around at the edge of my thoughts.
But I never would have even considered the thought if it hadn’t been for my biggest supporters. As a girl who constantly tells people, “Look, I am not a writer, make no mistake, I am simply a submissive telling her path,” thank you to every single person who responded, “Shut the fuck up.” I love you all. You believe in me when I don’t believe in myself. I am my most beautiful when I see myself through your eyes.
Thank you to my local kink community, who are some of the most amazingly brave and authentic people I have ever encountered. You teach me and open your arms to me and accept me for who I am. If it weren’t for your kindness and inclusion, the Mister and I may have had a very different path along the way.
Thank you to all of my family. You support me and my wildly ways and never once have demanded I bring my head out of the clouds where I float. I told you I had written a book and not one of you laughed at the notion. I will never forget that.
Thank you to my dearest friends. I always heard that it would be desperately hard to make friends as an adult; how blessedly wrong that was for me. Without your encouragement, my story would still be locked up tight and weighing me down. Your friendship helps free me. The real me.
Finally, to the Mister. My husband. My Sir. This story told is your path too. It’s one filled with tears and memories and moments of extreme personal struggle and growth. Thank you for allowing me to tell our tale, for your unending support, for helping me to be perfectly imperfectly me. Without you, Sir, there is no tale to tell. Without you, Sir, my life would be dull. You are my laughter, my success, my everything I hope to be and everything I want to love.
I have seen the very best of you and I have seen the very worst of you.
I’ll take both.
Kind Regards,
Mrs. Darling
About the Author
Mrs. Darling is a whimsical woman living in
a Modern Day 1950’s M/s Household. She and her husband run a traditional household together and practice full time power exchange in their marriage. In addition to hobbies like cooking and baking, crafting and sewing, and all things home related, Mrs. Darling writes non-fiction about BDSM and her life lived as a submissive. She is active in her local kink community and enjoys volunteerism.
You can find additional writing on her personal blog, MrsDarling.org, as well as content at SubmissiveGuide.com.
If you would like to read more about the 1950’s Household, you can find Mrs. Darling’s essay on the subject in the book “Paradigms of Power: Styles of Master/slave Relationships” by Raven Kaldera, available in ebook or print.
Connect with Mrs. Darling
Feel free connect with Mrs. Darling to follow her path in submission:
Email: Mrs_Darling@outlook.com
Websites: DarlingDiscovered.com (Book)
MrsDarling.org (Blog)
Facebook: Misses Darling
Fetlife: MrsDarling
Instagram: 1950s_mrsdarling
Twitter: 1950sMrsDarling