Period
Page 8
In addition to the synching myth, there are plenty of examples where (typically male) characters allude to the fact that they are tracking their female friends’ or colleagues’ menstrual cycles, usually as a way to prepare themselves for the wrath of the women they must deal with on a regular basis. In an episode of Community, Abed Nadir (Danny Pudi) tells his study group that he has been charting the menstrual cycles of each of the women in his study group and adjusts the way he treats each of them as a result. Similarly, in an episode of Friends (1994–2004), when Chandler Bing (Matthew Perry) tries to guess what Rachel Green (Jennifer Aniston) has in her grocery bag, whispering to Joey Tribbiani (Matt LeBlanc) that he thought it was some sort of menstrual product, and Joey responds, “No, not for like another two weeks,” demonstrating that he knows when she has her period. Finally, in an episode of Murphy Brown (1988–1998) Miles Silverberg (Grant Shaud) comments on his boss’s behavior, asking whether it is “the eighteenth already”—letting the audience know that he also keeps track of her menstrual cycle.
WELCOME TO THE PERIOD PARADOX
If you think society’s view of periods sounds like a no-win situation, you’re right. On the one hand, we’re expected to “suck it up”—just handle the pain and discomfort, and keep it to ourselves. After all, we know people think menstruation is gross and just part of being a woman, so no one wants to hear about it. On the other hand, there’s also the perception that periods are so debilitating for women—mentally, physically, and emotionally—that we couldn’t possibly hold positions of power or make high-level decisions as, say, an airplane pilot or politician. In other words, periods are simultaneously supposed to be so incapacitating that they’re used to exclude us, and something so routine and insignificant that we’re expected to just deal with it. This is what I call the period paradox—and yes, the idea is reinforced by pop culture.
The two episodes of Roseanne discussed earlier in this chapter clearly illustrate how the same show can perpetuate the period paradox. In one example, Dan gives D.J. permission to run away and scream in horror at the mere thought of his mother’s period. In the other, Roseanne reassures Darlene that yes, it hurts, but it’s normal—even “magical”—and doesn’t need to change anything in her life.
An episode of the NBC sitcom 30 Rock, appropriately named “TGS Hates Women” acknowledges, then pokes fun at the period paradox. Responding to a negative review of the show based on its one-dimensional portrayal of women, head writer Liz Lemon (Tina Fey) explains that with the (male) costar of the show gone, the previous episode of TGS exclusively featured Jenna Maroney (Jane Krakowski). The scene then cuts to clips from that show, where Maroney played Amelia Earhart losing control of her plane because she got her period (leaving her unable to fly a plane), and then–Secretary of State Hillary Clinton exclaiming, “Let’s nuke England!” because again, she had her period (leaving her unable to resist utilizing weapons of mass destruction). Cutting back to the TGS office, Lemon explains that those two examples are “an ironic reappropriation” of how women are typically shown in the media. She then goes on to say, “We should be elevating the way women are perceived in society,” before stopping abruptly, clutching her abdomen, and yelling, “Oh, my period—you’re all fired!” before collapsing backward. This reinforces the fact that whenever periods are shown on TV, it’s done in a context that undermines women, regardless of the show’s actual intentions.
SOMETHING’S MISSING
One of the only other times we see periods come up in television and films is when they are used in a pregnancy scare. For many people, a missed period is the first clue that they’re pregnant—but of course, not everyone has a regular twenty-eight-day menstrual cycle, so the suspicion of pregnancy has to be confirmed by taking a test. This creates drama, building up to the point of either the character taking a pregnancy test or getting her period unexpectedly.
When Blanche Devereaux’s period is late on an episode of The Golden Girls, she assumes that she is pregnant and, along with her roommates, starts planning for a later-in-life baby. But when she visits the doctor for confirmation, she finds out that not only is she not pregnant but that’s also no longer likely: She is going through menopause. On Sex and the City, Samantha Jones (Kim Cattrall) hasn’t gotten her period in nine weeks and suspects that she’s “all dried up”—meaning, starting menopause—so she agrees to go on a date with a man she finds repulsive, assuming that no one else would be interested in her. She ends up getting her period while having sex with him—interestingly, the only time the groundbreaking show addressed the topic of period sex.
While first, last, and missed periods make the best plots, what’s really missing from pop culture are realistic depictions of all the years in between puberty and menopause. An entire episode of Broad City (2014–) revolves around Abbi Abrams (Abbi Jacobson) getting her period while on an international flight. It’s not her first, nor her last: It’s one of many periods Abbi will get throughout her life. Regardless of how many apps you use to track your cycle or fertility, there are times when your period will be irregular and take you by surprise and, like Abbi, you may be left to improvise menstrual products. Another example of run-of-the-mill menstruation is a scene in 20th Century Women (2016) when Abbie (Greta Gerwig) announces that she has her period at a dinner party. Another period period piece, it takes place in 1979, when this was an even more unusual topic of conversation than it is today. Abbie tries to get the rest of the people at the table to be comfortable with the word menstruation and makes each guest repeat it, with conviction. It’s not a coincidence that the two examples of normal, non-milestone menstruation are the most recent: As we’re becoming more comfortable—or at least more vocal—about periods, the more we’ll see them pop up on-screen, leaving their mark on anyone who watches.
Resources
ORGANIZATIONS & NONPROFITS
All the organizations below are fighting the good fight for menstrual equity.
Society for Menstrual Cycle Research:
www.menstruationresearch.org
Blood Cycle Community:
www.bloodcyclecommunity.com
Take Charge. Period.:
www.takechargeperiod.org
Bleeders Are Leaders:
www.bleedersareleaders.com
Distributing Dignity:
www.distributingdignity.org
FLOW: www.helloflow.org
Girls Helping Girls. Period.:
www.girlshelpinggirlsperiod.org
Racket: www.weracket.com
Support the Girls:
www.isupportthegirls.org
Period. The Menstrual Movement:
www.period.org
Femme: www.respectfemme.org
Free the Tampons:
www.freethetampons.org
Days for Girls: www.daysforgirls.org
Irise International: www.irise.org.uk
MORE PERIOD-POSITIVE SITES AND ONLINE RESOURCES
Menstrual Health Hub: www.mhhub.org
Cycle Dork: www.cycledork.com
Museum of Menstruation: www.mum.org (This site is a little tricky to navigate, but the story behind it is fascinating. You can find Arielle Pardes’s fantastic feature on the history of this museum on vice.com.)
Period!: www.period.media (This is an online magazine all about menstruation!)
Menstrual Hygiene Day:
www.menstrualhygieneday.org (Yes, there is a day to celebrate menstrual hygiene—it’s May 28.)
BOOKS
New Blood: Third Wave Feminism and the Politics of Menstruation by Chris Bobel
Period Repair Manual: Natural Treatment for Better Hormones and Better Periods by Lara Briden
The Adventures of Toni the Tampon: A Period Coloring Book by Cass Clemmer
Out for Blood: Essays on Menstruation and Resistance by Breanne Fahs
Flow: The Cultural Story of Menstruation by Elissa Stein and Susan Kim
Periods Gone Public: Taking a Stand for Menstrual Equity by Jenni
fer Weiss-Wolf
Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler (Not just for people trying to get pregnant—an invaluable guide to how the reproductive system works.)
JOURNALISM
There has been some excellent coverage of periods in mainstream publications recently. Abigail Jones’s writing for Newsweek stands out in particular:
“The Fight to End Period Shaming Is Going Mainstream.” Newsweek, April 20, 2016.
“The Women Taking on Menstrual Equality.” Newsweek, April 21, 2016.
“New York Terminates the Tampon Tax.” Newsweek, July 21, 2016.
“Free Tampons and Pads Are Making Their Way to U.S. Colleges, High Schools, and Middle Schools.” Newsweek, September 6, 2016.
“Cycles + Sex: Solving Lady-Part Problems, One Period at a Time.” Newsweek, May 1, 2017.
“Periods, Policy and Politics: Menstrual Equity Is the New Thing.” Newsweek, May 8, 2017.
“The Period Movement: Meet the Men Fighting to Stop Menstruation-Shaming in the Developing World.” Newsweek, July 12, 2017.
“What’s in a Tampon? Immigrant Dad’s Mission to Transform Feminine Hygiene.” Newsweek, July 24, 2017.
TED TALKS
Carine El Boustani, “On the Need to Speak Up About Period Pain,” TEDxLAU
Diana Fabianova, “The Menstruation Taboo,” TEDxBratislava (Turn on the English subtitles for this one.)
Aditi Gupta and Tuhin Paul, “Can a Comic Book Overcome India’s Menstruation Taboo?,” TEDxBangalore
Annemarie Harant and Bettina Steinbrugger, “Breaking the Bloody Taboo,” TEDxDonauinsel
Sophie Houser and Andy Gonzalez, “What Tampons Have to Do with Tech,” TEDxYouth@Hewitt
Nancy Kramer, “Free the Tampons,” TEDxColumbus
Sabrina Rubli, “Menstruation Matters,” TEDxUW
GET INVOLVED—CHANGE PUBLIC POLICY
If you live in a state that still taxes menstrual products as a luxury, contact your representatives and let them know this needs to change. Find your representatives here: www.usa.gov/elected-officials
Sign the petition to end the #TamponTax: www.change.org/m/end-the-tax-on-feminine-hygiene-products-notaxontampons
Period Equity: www.periodequity.org
About the Authors
Arisleyda Dilone is a documentary filmmaker, teacher, and writer.
Kate Farrell is an editor who lives in New York City. You can sign up for email updates here.
Ann Friedman is a journalist and cultural critic. She is a columnist for New York magazine and the Los Angeles Times, and a contributing editor to The Gentlewoman. She cohosts the podcast Call Your Girlfriend with her friend Aminatou Sow and sends a popular weekly email newsletter. Find her work at annfriedman.com.
Madame Gandhi is an electronic music artist and activist based in Los Angeles. Having gained recognition as the former drummer for M.I.A. and as the famous free-bleeding runner at the 2015 London Marathon, Madame Gandhi now writes music that elevates and celebrates the female voice. madamegandhi.com
Santina Muha is a writer, actress, improviser, and comic. Originally from New Jersey, she now lives in Los Angeles. Follow her on Twitter @santinamuha.
Ingrid Nilsen is the personality and creative mind behind her incredibly popular YouTube channel. She is also a women’s health activist.
Wiley Reading is an artist, writer, environmentalist, teacher, and social justice advocate. Born in the swampy coastal state of New Jersey, he studied American history, social theory, and literacy praxis before moving up and down the East Coast advocating for voting rights, mountaintop conservation, anti-bias education, and more. He is now a freelance writer and educator committed to bringing restorative justice practices, compassion-based community building, and trauma-informed teaching to all school-aged children. Follow his work on Facebook: @wileyreadingf.
Ashley Reese is a writer who has contributed to Teen Vogue, Rookie, i-D, Gurl, Vulture, Golly magazine, and The Gloss. She’s in the early stages of writing a book about her days as a twentysomething-year-old virgin living in NYC. Catch her starting fights with random people on Twitter at @offbeatorbit.
Kylyssa Shay is a writer and artist. She was homeless for over a year in her youth, which led to her activism involving homelessness.
Aminatou Sow is a digital strategist and one of Forbes’ 30 Under 30 in tech. She cohosts the podcast Call Your Girlfriend with her friend Ann Friedman.
Emma Straub is the bestselling author of The Vacationers and Modern Lovers. She is also the cofounder and co-owner of the bookstore Books Are Magic. emmastraub.net
Jennifer Weiss-Wolf is a writer and advocate for equitable menstrual policy in America. She is the author of Periods Gone Public: Taking a Stand for Menstrual Equity. Jennifer’s essay series in the New York Times shed light on the issue of domestic and international menstrual equity; her op-eds in TIME, Cosmopolitan, and Ms. magazine, among others, have fueled policy advances. Newsweek called her “architect of the U.S. policy campaign to squash the tampon tax.” Bustle named her one of the nation’s “badass menstrual activists.” Weiss-Wolf is cited widely in the media, including by the Washington Post, Wall Street Journal, New York magazine, Upworthy, Teen Vogue, Mic, Vice, NPR, MSNBC, and Yahoo Health. By day Jen serves as a vice president of the Brennan Center for Justice at the NYU School of Law. jenniferweisswolf.com
Dr. Elizabeth Yuko is a bioethicist and writer specializing in sexual and reproductive health, and the intersection of ethics and popular culture. She is an adjunct professor of ethics at Fordham University, has written for publications including the New York Times, the Washington Post, the Atlantic, Rolling Stone, Pacific Standard, Ms. magazine, and Playboy, and has given a TEDx talk on The Golden Girls and bioethics. You can read more of her work on elizabethyuko.com or follow her on Twitter @elizabethics.
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Contents
Title Page
Copyright Notice
Epigraph
Introduction by Kate Farrell
“She’ll Become a Woman Later” by Arisleyda Dilone
“Periods and Friendship” by Ann Friedman and Aminatou Sow
“Going with the Flow: Blood and Sisterhood at the London Marathon” by Madame Gandhi
“I Can’t Walk but I Can Bleed” by Santina Muha
“There’s a First for Everything” by Ingrid Nilsen
“My Period and Me: A Trans Guy’s Guide to Menstruation” by Wiley Reading
“Black Blood” by Ashley Reese
“The Homeless Period: It Doesn’t Bear Thinking About and That’s the Problem” by Kylyssa Shay
“Bad Blood” by Emma Straub
“The Politics of Periods” by Jennifer Weiss-Wolf
“Periods, According to Pop Culture” by Elizabeth Yuko
Resources
About the Authors
Copyright
A FEIWEL AND FRIENDS BOOK
An Imprint of Macmillan Publishing Group, LLC
175 Fifth Avenue, New York, NY 10010
PERIOD: TWELVE VOICES TELL THE BLOODY TRUTH. Introduction copyright © 2018 by Kate Farrell. “She’ll Become a Woman Later” copyright © 2018 by Arisleyda Dilone. “Periods and Friendship” copyright © 2018 by Ann Friedman and Aminatou Sow. “Going with the Flow: Blood and Sisterhood at the London Marathon” copyright © 2018 by Madame Gandhi. “I Can’t Walk but I Can Bleed” copyright © 2018 by Santina Muha. “There’s a First for Everything” copyright © 2018 by Ingrid Nilsen. “My Period and Me: A Trans Guy’s Guide to Menstruation” copyright © 2018 by Wiley Reading. “Black Blood” copyright © 2018 by Ashley Reese. “The Homeless Period: It Doesn’t
Bear Thinking About and That’s the Problem” copyright © 2018 by Kylyssa Shay. “Bad Blood” copyright © 2018 by Emma Straub. “The Politics of Periods” copyright © 2018 by Jennifer Weiss-Wolf. “Periods, According to Pop Culture” copyright © 2018 by Elizabeth Yuko. Illustration p. 201 copyright © 2018 by Sophie Erb. All rights reserved.
A version of “Going with the Flow: Blood and Sisterhood at the London Marathon” first appeared online at Medium. A version of “My Period and Me: A Trans Guy’s Guide to Menstruation” first appeared online at Everyday Feminism. A version of “The Homeless Period: It Doesn’t Bear Thinking About and That’s the Problem” first appeared online at Soapboxie. “Bad Blood” first appeared online at Rookie.
Excerpt from “Ode on Periods” from Another Smashed Pinecone by Bernadette Mayer, published by United Artists Books. Copyright © 1998 by Bernadette Mayer. Reprinted by permission of United Artists Books.
Our books may be purchased in bulk for promotional, educational, or business use. Please contact your local bookseller or the Macmillan Corporate and Premium Sales Department at (800) 221-7945 ext. 5442 or by e-mail at MacmillanSpecialMarkets@macmillan.com.
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First edition, 2018
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eISBN 9781250141958
First eBook edition: May 2018