Mokushiroku Arisu - Volume 01

by Kagami Takaya

  With tears flowing, I look down at the girl. I look down at the girl who has not done anything wrong, but, was just unlucky enough to contract the sickness. Just like my little sister. I look down at the girl who, up until yesterday, has been smiling innocently, quietly, peacefully, gently.

  "...... sorry."

  In a quavering voice, I said.

  "...... my magic is still incomplete...... it's because I'm useless...... it's because I'm powerless...... I'm still yet...... unable to save you."

  In a hoarse voice, I said.

  The girl says.

  "Onii-chan, it's not your fault."

  "...... sorry."

  "But Onii-chan, you're saving me from this pain."

  "...... sorry."

  "Onii-chan, you're saving my family."

  "...... sorry."

  "Onii-chan, the time's already......"

  At that moment, I swung my knife.

  And with that, it was over.

  Everything was over.

  The girl said in the end.

  "Thank you, Onii-chan."

  She had a smile on her face.

  But she had disappeared.

  Her life had disappeared.

  'Thank you' my ass. In the end, I am just a piece of trash who cannot save anyone. A piece of trash. Just someone who is powerless, useless,

  "...... and a hypocrite, am I not?"

  The darkness disappears.

  The darkness of the girl disappears.

  The labyrinth that has extended from the girl as its center, speedily turns back to the real world.

  "Ugh."

  Driven out of the darkness inside the girl, I return to reality. With tears flowing, my eyes widen.

  The bright light dazzle my eyes for an instant.

  The smell of reality.

  The feeling of being alive.

  "............"

  This is no longer the labyrinth.

  I can see the blue sky.

  The hustle and bustle of the street.

  The sounds of zooming cars.

  The voices of people.

  The girl died, the labyrinth disappeared, and time has returned to Kanagawa Prefecture. I am right now in the center of some scramble intersection. Maybe it is because of me that the cars are unable to move, causing horns to blare.

  Someone is hugging to my chest.

  "Shinnosuke! Shinnosuke!"

  It's Gunjou.

  The girl who usually has a strong-willed look is clinging on to me now, her face wretched from crying.

  "S-Someone! Someone quickly call the ambulance! Please! All of you! All of you have your lives saved by this guy!!"

  With tears in her eyes, she screams desperately.

  She is really noisy. My stomach is hurting. Which reminds me, my organs have been gouged. I might just die.

  "...... haha...... I, can't laugh, at Yousuke."

  "Shinnosuke!?"

  Gunjou looks at me. Her face is a complete mess from crying. Her strong-willed eyes, and fair skin, have turned red.

  "Are you, awake!? Shinnosuke!"

  "............"

  "We did it! We...... no, you saved the 3 million people of Kanagawa......"

  Interrupting her, I say.

  "I'm not interested. I killed a person."

  "Eh......"

  "And I'm tired. My stomach hurts, so I'm taking a break from school today."

  "Huuh? Hey, you......"

  Ignoring her, I look up at the sky.

  I look up at the sky over Gunjou's disheveled blond hair.

  Even though the girl is dead, as I look up at the calm, tranquil sky, I find it to be vexingly endless.

  I gaze at the boisterous street, busying itself as if nothing had happened, unbothered by the death of the girl.

  Then, I say.

  "...... hey Gunjou. I have a request to make of you...... is that okay?"

  "...... w-what?"

  She looks at me with a nervous face.

  Smirking, I open my mouth.

  "............"

  I made several requests of her. Why are you asking me to do all that?, her face asks me, but I no longer have any energy to explain them to her.

  This is my limit.

  I lost too much blood.

  I look down at my stomach. Blood is flowing out from the gaping hole there.

  "...... aah, damn. I'm a fool."

  Murmuring that, I lost consciousness.

  ♦

  ♦

  ♦

  I killed the girl.

  But the world has not changed.

  I killed the girl.

  But the world has not changed.

  I killed the girl.

  That is why the world has not changed.

  We kill girls day after day, just to create such an unchanging world.

  And then ---

  ♦

  ♦

  ♦

  Before I knew it, summer has ended.

  "............"

  Half a month has passed since then, I think.

  I have been passing my days in boredom, in an uninteresting hospital ward.

  It is a private ward.

  It is a high-class ward specially prepared by 《Metropolitan Kichijouji High》. It seems like Shiro, Kiri, Gunjou, Himi, and myself who stuck around the high-level diseased girl till the very end and somehow managed to deal with her, were awarded a special bonus and special privileges. We are somewhat treated like heroes.

  The corporations that are based in Kanagawa Prefecture and Yokohama city also rewarded the school. But that money will not go into my account. Damn f**king school.

  "............"

  The door to the ward swings open.

  "Yoh, Shinnosuke. I'm here."

  It is Shiro. Himi is just right behind him.

  I scowl and say.

  "I didn't call for you though."

  "I thought that the hospital food probably sucks, so I bought some hamburgers."

  "I never asked for that."

  "Then, you don't need any?"

  Shiro is holding two fast-food bags. The smell coming from them clearly belongs to that of potatoes that have been instantly cooked, are cheap and bad for the body, and something that should not be brought to a hospital.

  I reply.

  "...... I could use some."

  "Haha. Make sure you eat them secretly. Otherwise the doctor's going to get mad at you. Yousuke, who's warded at the floor below, got yelled at earlier."

  Yes.

  That four-eyes who slipped past death, is still alive. On top of that, his wounds appeared to be less serious than mine and it seems like he will soon be discharged. That four-eyes is a tough one.

  I look at Shiro with half-opened eyes.

  "How did you smuggle them in with this smell?"

  "Haha."

  Shiro puts down the fast-food at the side of my bed.

  Himi asks worriedly.

  "How are your wounds?"

  I answer in exasparation.

  "You asked that yesterday. Do I look like someone who can instantly heal up like an amoeba?"

  "Ah, ermmh, I don't mean that......"

  "Then, don't ask that anymore."

  "S-Sorry......"

  "And also, don't come here anymore."

  "Ermm...... then, I'll come again tomorrow."

  Himi appears to be fearful, but it seems like she is someone who will not listen to what is told to her. In the first place, there should have been a sign hanging outside that says 'No Visitors'. I made a request for that, and besides, it has only been three days since I completely regained consciousness. But yet, what is up with these visits that seem to hold no regard for the patient's well-being, I wonder.

  Himi smiles.

  Shiro also smiles.

  "I can't smile at all."

  My face contorts, but paying no heed to that, Shiro says.

  "I heard from the doctor. It'd be a while before you can be discharged?"

>   "Don't ask such things without my permission."

  "Let's work together again when you return."

  "No thanks. If you want me to join you ---."

  "I have to pay you? You are a piece of trash as always."

  Shiro smiles. For some reason, he has a somewhat sad look on his face.

  Then, he looks down at me,

  "...... I'll come again tomorrow."

  "Like I said, I never asked you to come."

  "See you tomorrow."

  "Shut up."

  Together with Himi, Shiro leaves the ward. The door closes.

  With half-opened eyes, I continue looking in the direction they left.

  "............"

  From Shiro's expression, he might have heard the condition of my wounds from the doctor. That f**king doctor. Isn't it against the law to leak out a patient's condition to outsiders? If I sue him, maybe I can get some money off him.

  Now that Shiro and Himi have left, the room is quiet. Snap, snap, I snap my fingers alone in the room.

  The sound of boredom and peace.

  The sound of idleness and quiet.

  "............"

  After some time has passed, the door opens again.

  When I turn my eyes toward it, there stood Kiri. She is carrying some fruits. Today sure is a gloomy day.

  I look at Kiri and say.

  "I have no business with big breasts."

  Kiri grins and says.

  "I heard you've awakened. Shall I peel an apple for you?"

  "What's attached to your chest are melons though."

  "Fufuh, can you keep quiet already ~?"

  Smiling, Kiri enters. And sits in the chair beside my bed without my acknowledgement.

  "Yah, are you feeling okay?"

  "Of course. I was so energetic that I ended up in the hospital because of that."

  "Ah-haha. If you're that well, then you should be fine. By the way, what's this smell?"

  Kiri says as she looks around the ward.

  I reply.

  "Potatoes."

  "Whoeh?"

  "Shiro brought them."

  "Ah ~, Shinnosuke-kun, do you prefer those to fruits?"

  "Not really."

  "Then......"

  Said Kiri. And she gazes at me. Her eyes are slightly teary. With a face that seems a little feverish but yet filled with sadness and pity, she gazes at me,

  "...... then, what kind of thing will make you happy, Shinnosuke-kun?"

  Kiri says to me. Then, she extends a hand in my direction.

  I grab that hand of hers strongly.

  "............ ah."

  Glaring at her with half-opened eyes, I then say.

  "...... like I said the other time, what's with you?"

  Kiri's face is close. She is so close that I can feel her breath on me. She is so beautiful that it seems like she can steal one's eyes away, and her breasts are annoyingly huge.

  Kiri receives my stare and says.

  "...... there was a circular at school today."

  "What is it about?"

  "...... that Shinnosuke-kun...... that you can no longer fight because of your injuries and will thus be dropping out of school."

  I narrow my eyes and say.

  "...... aah, I see. That explains Shiro's reaction."

  "Hey Shinnosuke-kun. What in the world happened after that? After I got out --- how did you ---"

  Dohn, I grab the shoulders of Kiri.

  "Don't get so close to me."

  "Ah."

  She makes that kind of sound again. She gazes at me with a look of surprise, thereafter, she lowers her voice to a whisper and says.

  "...... at school, Mizuiro Gunjou-san has become a star for killing the diseased girl. They said that you were attacked by the diseased girl and failed to escape --- and then, Gunjou-san saved you."

  "............"

  "And, her corporate sponsors increased again. Right now, they number twenty."

  "Ohh. That's amazing."

  On saying that, Kiri backs off a little and narrows her eyes.

  "Yeah. That's amazing...... but is that true?"

  "............"

  "From what I saw of Gunjou-san's ability, she shouldn't be able to do anything in that kind of situation. What if, the truth is that your positions were reversed...... and that you were the one who saved her...... and got seriously injured because of that, then......"

  Cutting her off, I say.

  "Then, what'll you do?"

  "...... then, I won't forgive her."

  "Huuh? What's with that? We aren't in that kind of relationship right?"

  But, Kiri's face contorts slightly in sadness, pouts her lips, and puts her hands to her chest.

  "...... e-ermm."

  "Ah?"

  "...... the truth is, I'm not really good at this, so it's kind of difficult for me to say this but."

  Her face becomes a little red. Biting her lip, she says hesitantly.

  "I, I, erm."

  "...... what is it?"

  "I, am, erm...... i-in l-love with you...... I think."

  She says to me.

  I stare at that red-faced Kiri with half-opened eyes and say.

  "...... huuh? What kind of trap is this?"

  "It's not a trap!"

  "I'm not interested."

  "Hey, I, really plucked out my courage to confess to you, and to hear that kind of reply ---"

  "It won't work. You might have won over your classmates with that but --- the outcome should already be clear right? Every one of them abandoned you and escaped, didn't they?"

  I smirk.

  On hearing that, Kiri's face becomes slightly on the verge of tears.

  "...... erm...... even I won't use such an unscrupulous method...... and I never felt the need to anyway......"

  "So?"

  "...... aah, but the timing is really bad, I guess. Sorry. I take that back."

  "Haven't you always be doing that?"

  "Ah-haha...... right. You're right. I'm sorry. But, those feelings are......"

  "Shut up. Even if they were real, I can't accept them. Frankly, I have no interest in meaningless stuff like love and romance. Neither do I have the time for it."

  For an instant, Kiri's face contorted into one that was on the verge of tears. But it disappeared immediately. She is a person who is capable of such a thing. That is probably why she is no good in expressing herself. She has probably received some kind of training to help her control her feelings. Which organization is she really from?

  Kiri grins and says.

  "I was kidding ~. Were you surprised?"

  "Not really."

  "Everything was a joke ~."

  "Hmmmh."

  "Though the truth is, it's not a joke."

  "Whatever."

  "Yeah. You're right. Sorry. Well then ~, see you tomorrow."

  "Don't come again, you're irritating."

  "Ah-haha...... then, see you."

  She stands up.

  And leaves the ward.

  I stared after her absentmindedly for a while,

  "...... ha...... romance, love, friendship, youth, and stuff like these...... this place is just full of idle people."

  I smile.

  In the first place, I have no right to have all those things. And they are also worthless to me. And I have not even saved my own little sister. And I have been killing girls. What would such a person like me, do with things like love, romance, and friendship?

  Besides.

  "............"

  I pull over my comforter. Turn over the stomach area of my patient shirt. A cicatrix-like line where the wound was sewed up on my stomach can be seen. But that wound is not the problem. Fortunately, my organs were successfully fixed up. The problem lies in the fact that, as a result of the injury, some nerve has been damaged and consequently, I can no longer move my right foot.

  "...... hn."

  I sit up and start coming down from my bed. I attempt to ex
tend my leg to outside of the bed. But the leg did not respond. It was as if it belonged to someone else. It is like a heavy, iron lump. Bam, I slip out of the bed and fall to the ground in an unsightly way. Hitting my head.

  "............"

  This is the price of hypocrisy. The price of acting righteously, futilely. I knew it, one who risks one's life to save the life of another, is just a piece trash who fails to think ahead.

  "...... ha, haha."

  I laugh foolishly.

  "Hahahahaha."

  I laugh smirkingly with half-opened eyes.

  I sit myself up, lean my back against the wall, and laugh to myself, absentmindedly.

  Then, at that moment, I felt a slight presence. Again, outside the door. Seems like someone has come.

  "Ha, how popular can I be?"

  I mutter in exasperation. The door should open soon. I do not have any time to get back to the bed. At any rate, this ward should be rejecting visitors by right, and I have not yet recovered from my injuries. There is no way I can move that agilely.

  Despite all that, the door that has a 'No Visitors' sign slowly opens.

  A short, fair-skinned, blond-haired girl is standing there.

  It is Mizuiro Gunjou.

  She is just standing there.

  "............"

  Casting her eyes downwards, with a pained and anguished face, she looks at me sitting on the floor.

  "...... Shi-Shinnosuke."

  "Vomit-girl huh. What did you come here for?"

  I called her vomit-girl. But she did not get angry. She merely looks at me with a troubled look, and in a quavering voice,

  "...... I, I......"

  She says.

  "What?"

  "...... I...... I've come to see you."

  "Ah, okay. Thanks. But I don't need that, so can you go back?"

  On hearing that, with a slightly fearful face, she says.

  "...... e-erm...... if you wish for that, then...... I'll do just that, but."

  "Then please go. See you. Farewell and bye-bye."

  I wave my hand.

  "............"

  But, she did not move. With a brooding face, she remains standing rooted to the spot.

  "What the hell? You aren't done yet?"

  "Erm......"

  "Hurry up with it."

  "I did as you told and took credit in the extermination of the diseased girl in my report."

  "I see."

  "I also got the largest share of the reward."

  "That's great isn't it? Did your Dad and Mom praise you as well?"

  I ask smirkingly but, Gunjou gazes at me without replying. And proceeds to bombard me with her doubt.