“I do.”
“Were you terribly sad to leave home?”
No, he had not been. But this was certainly no time to enlighten a boy about conditions in an orphanage. “I would have been very sad to leave this home.”
“You do not have to go back,” said the boy. “My papa is an earl and you can come live with us. We only live a carriage ride away.”
So this boy’s father was the Earl of Layton. “Thank you for the invitation, but I must go back to finish my studies at school.”
“Mayhap Mr. Jones and the others will visit us again,” said Miss Emerson from across the table.
Mark smiled at the girl, her black hair in two long braids. “I would be most fortunate to be invited back.”
* * *
The butler, Thompson, presented Mark with riding clothes the next morning. “Thank you, sir. But I do not ride.”
“That is why you will have your first lesson today, sir,” said the man, who did not seem bothered by the fact Mark was not a gentleman, though Mark had heard butlers were often the worst snobs. “Lord Lorton will also be riding, though he, too, expressed his belief he would not be.”
“Lorton is riding?” Robert had often mentioned how being on a horse had never ended well. Mark wanted to be there to help him if anything went wrong. “I will go to the stables directly.”
A short while later, Emerson resolve had both Mark and Robert in the saddle. Despite being surrounded by expert riders, Mark was worried about Robert. A man could be seriously injured from being thrown by a horse, though as they began their slow walk beyond the paddock, it appeared Sadie was quite happy with her rider and not inclined to dislodge him.
Other than one moment when Robert started slipping – and his gentle mare stopped so he could right himself – Mark’s friend did so well he was grinning from ear-to-ear. Mark was rather amazed by his own riding abilities, though it surely helped that they had kept their pace to a walk. He looked out to the fields and marveled how different this part of England was from London. He had thought Eton had been in the countryside, compared to the stews he had spent his early life in. But this was as foreign of a landscape as he had ever seen.
“You should see the trees when spring finally arrives,” said Anna, as she brought her horse beside his. “It is truly to be surrounded by beauty.”
“I cannot get used to how quiet it is,” said Mark.
“Yet when I first arrived I found the activity of the village to be frightfully loud and fast. Of course, I was only six years of age and had just endured a crowded carriage ride and a long sea voyage before that. Everything in this country seemed odd to me, other than my papa. I was also nervous to meet my new family. But those fears quickly dissolved once I was here.”
“I must admit I was also nervous to meet your family.”
“I hope you like us now. I am glad that Letty and Wesley are getting along so well. She has been the victim of unkind gossip in the past. I hope she comes out of this with a brother who is also a friend.”
“He is a very good friend to have, as is Robert.” They rode on in silence for a moment as Mark admired the land. “I imagine people have sometimes been unkind to you. I have found that not being exactly like everyone else inexplicably provokes some people to cruelty.”
“I have found the same thing to be true. Fortunately, I do not give a fig about the opinions of others unless they are dear to me.”
“That is another thing we have in common. Do you still believe England is strange?”
“Even more so now that I have experienced a bit of the ton,” she said with a smile. “I know it is the world my papa and mama were born into and one in which I will be expected to take my place.”
“But?”
“But I believe I would expire of boredom if I am expected to drink tea and talk about the weather for the rest of my life.”
“Do you have something against tea and the weather?”
“On the contrary, tea is quite lovely and I enjoy the elements of real weather. I just do not care to limit my conversations to them.”
“You can talk about anything you would like with me,” said Mark. “I welcome good conversation from a lovely young lady.”
* * *
A lovely young lady. Anna knew she shouldn’t take the compliment to heart since Mark was only being polite. But he hadn’t called her a child. She sometimes wondered if anyone in her family recognized she was no longer the frightened little girl who had come to England so many years ago. She was much quieter than Letty and Violet, and even quieter than her brothers and sisters, all of whom seemed to overflow with questions and exclamations. She knew her family loved her. Indeed, she had never doubted their love and devotion, despite the fact her father had not planned for her birth and her mama had no blood connection to her. She was well loved, but there were times she felt like an outsider in the boisterous Emerson family. And she believed Mark Jones knew exactly what it was like to feel that way.
Far too quickly, it was time for the three young men to go back to Eton. Wes and Letty had found a connection which meant the Emersons would almost certainly see him again. But there was no reason they would expect to see either of the other two boys. Something would have to be done about that.
On the morning of the boys’ departure, Anna and the others were at the carriage to wish them well on their trip. She wanted them to return, but it wasn’t up to her to invite them. Fortunately, her Uncle Colin stepped in.
“I expect to see all three of you back here for the summer,” he said.
“I would like nothing better,” said Wes, “but my family is planning a trip to Italy for a month.”
“Come visit if you can,” said Colin. “Robert, Mark? What say you?”
Both boys looked astonished. “My family has planned a trip for the entire summer,” said Robert. “But unlike Wes’s, they have no intention of bringing me along. I would be honored to spend the summer here, if you truly would not mind the company.”
“We would be glad to have you. And I am certain Sadie would be thrilled to have you take her out on daily rides. What about you, Mark? Please say you will accept our invitation.”
Anna held her breath, hoping the boy wouldn’t let his pride prevent his acceptance.
He looked torn. “My lord, I cannot adequately express my appreciation for your kind invitation. You are quite generous and while there is nothing I would rather do, I cannot accept your offer, knowing I could never reciprocate.”
Colin was about to ask again, when Anna spoke up. “Mayhap Mark could tutor the boys.”
“That is an excellent idea,” said Ava. “I confess that I have not been able to spend as much time as I would like with each of the children’s lessons. It would be an immeasurable help to have Mark take over some of my duties.”
Anna knew her aunt was more than capable of teaching all the children, but this was a sure way of convincing Mark to come. He couldn’t resist a plea for help.
“I would do anything to help the family, but Lady Ridgeway is already an excellent tutor.”
“But I am a selfish creature, Mark,” said Colin. “I want Ava to spend more time with me. Having you here to teach the children would be a great help.”
He sighed. “If I could teach the children in exchange for my room and board, then I would love to accept your offer.”
“Brilliant! I’m so glad you will be joining us this summer, Mark,” said Colin. “But, of course, we will pay you wages. It is only fair.”
“But, sir, my payment would be my room and board.”
“Children,” said Colin. “Robert and Mark will be coming here for the entire summer, with Wes visiting when he can. How do you feel about that?”
Judging by the raucous cheers, the children liked that very much. Mark knew when he was beaten, so he smiled and thanked Colin again, as his two friends grinned and said they very much looked forward to their return.
Anna couldn’t remember looking forward to anythi
ng quite that much.
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
Ridgeway Manor, Summer 1830
Mark was in the schoolroom on the manor’s top floor going over his lesson plan for the children, who were currently playing outside. He knew he would have no more than half an hour before the children would insist he join them. It was Mark’s second summer at the Manor and he’d caught on quickly the previous year that his working as a tutor had been but a pretense to get him to agree to spending the summer with the Emersons. But as much as he loved his time there, he was still committed to helping the children with their studies.
Especially since many of their lessons entailed nature hikes, riding and trying to incorporate maths into their daily lives.
Mark had not known just how much he missed having a real home until he had begun spending time with the Emersons. He did not know how long it would last, but he cherished every moment of it.
The first summer, both he and Robert had spent the entire break with the family, with Wes joining them when he could. But this year, both Robert and Wes had unexpectedly been called home. Mark hadn’t been sure if he would receive the invitation since Wes was the one who was family, not him. But Lord Ridgeway had, once again, invited him to spend the summer at the Manor and Mark had been more than happy to do so.
There was a knock on the open door, then the Earl of Ridgeway entered, holding a letter.
“My lord,” said Mark, bowing.
“You can call me Colin, son.”
“Thank you, sir. But I am a servant in your employ.”
“You are our friend who helps the children.”
“Perhaps, I can then forego my salary…”
“You will do nothing of the kind,” said Colin with a smile as he sat at the table. “What are you working on?”
“It is for the astronomy lesson. I was going to seek you out later to ask your permission, but as long as you are here now, I was wondering if we might have a viewing of the stars. I would like to have the children map out constellations. The older ones can draw their own, while I can give the younger ones maps with dots to connect. Then, with your permission, I would like to have the family come out after dark and see the stars in the summer sky. Unfortunately, the children would have to stay up late. But I believe seeing the stars in the sky will be a better teacher than I could ever be in the classroom. What do you think?”
“I think it’s a brilliant idea. But, if you don’t mind, I suggest the entire family take part. I know I have not done much stargazing and I believe the other adults would enjoy it, too.”
“I know the children would love to have you there,” said Mark.
“Then we shall make it an event. Everyone can spend the night at the manor and we’ll make it a real celebration. I am glad you suggested it.”
Mark was pleased that Lord Ridgeway had approved of his idea. He rarely got such approval at school and it was nice to have his work appreciated. But Lord Ridgeway seemed bothered by something. “Sir, is something the matter?”
“Unfortunately, something disturbing has happened, though I assure everything turned out well in the end. I received a note from the Duke of Lynwood.”
“I hope nothing has happened to either his grace or his family.”
“Thankfully, all is well now. But it involves Robert.”
Lord Ridgeway went on to recount an incident at Tattersalls where Robert’s father had whipped him, then disowned him. Fortunately, Mr. Rigg had interceded and Robert was now safe and under Lynwood’s protection.
Mark’s eyes filled with tears, even as he was filled with rage.
“I know it is very upsetting, son. Lord Selden has always been a bully and a heinous man. But I did not think even he could be this much of a monster. I will be hard pressed not to beat him when next I encounter him to see how he likes such treatment. I’ll be sending a letter to Lynwood in the return mail, if you would like to send something to Robert. He can make his home with us, though I have it on good authority that Violet and her parents very much wish for him to reside in Marston Vale.” Lord Ridgeway waited for a moment, before adding, “Tears are nothing to be ashamed of, son. You can let them fall.”
It was hard for Mark to even breathe because of his anger. He wiped away a tear. “How could he do that, sir? How could a father do that to his own son?”
“I know from experience there are terrible fathers in the world. But I do not know how a man is so devoid of proper feeling that he would do something so terrible.”
“I saw more violence than I care to remember when I was growing up in London,” said Mark. “There was even a time when I assumed most parents were neglectful at best and abusive as a rule. But I often attributed it to the fact everything was difficult. Families facing hunger, crime and addiction already had enough challenges. Life was hard, with little respite. But someone like Lord Selden has everything he could wish for. It’s not Robert’s fault that he has difficulty walking. He has tried so hard to be a good son. I cannot bear to think how much this hurt him, both physically and inward, as well. I….”
The tears began in earnest and Mark turned away. But he felt Lord Ridgeway’s hand on his shoulder. “Son – and that is not just an expression with me, for I truly feel as if you are my son – you have seen more of the harsh reality of the world than a boy ever should. And with the world as it is, you will likely witness more of it in the future. But there is beauty in even the worst circumstances. Mr. Minsberg, who allowed you to use his library, was a good man. Mr. Rigg is a good man, as are the Kellingtons, Mr. Stemple and the men of my family. You are a good man.”
Mark turned toward him. “How do you know that? I had to do some terrible things as a child.”
“I know where you came from. I know where you are right now. And I have a very good idea of the man you will be. I am proud of you. I would be proud to call you the son of my heart.”
Mark could barely speak. “Do you mean that, sir? You have already done so much for me.”
“I mean that with all I am. It is a disreputable family you are joining, but I speak for all the Emersons in saying we welcome you into the fold.”
Colin hugged Mark, and the two of them had to wipe their eyes.
Perhaps sensing too much emotion had been displayed, Lord Ridgeway said, “Now tell me whether I will be quizzed on the constellations. You might have to pass me the answers beforehand as I would hate to be shown to be a lackwit.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
Lynwood House, 1835
Anna was in Violet Kellington’s bedchamber listening to the music from the ballroom two stories below. It was the night of Letty and Violet’s debut ball but she could not attend since she had not yet been presented. It was just as well, because even at the age of seventeen, she had no desire to ever join the ton.
There were always stares and whispers wherever she went. Her family and friends were offended on her behalf and made their feelings known. But Anna did not feel like she was missing out on much since she could not ever imagine wanting to be friends with people who cared more about the color of someone’s skin more than the kindness of their soul.
She would go through with her debut the next year because she knew it was important to her family, but she cared little for it herself. Especially since the man she loved would not be there for it.
Mark’s first visit at Lenten term had been followed by Mark and Robert staying for the summer. Her Uncle Colin had paid Mark much more than the average wage for a tutor, while also impressing upon him that he was not a servant and was fully expected to spend his days as he liked. Given how much the children loved him, those activities usually coincided with what the family was doing. After the summer, Christmas followed. And soon enough, Mark spent every holiday with her family and her Uncle Collin considered him a son. Wes often visited, as did Robert, though the latter’s visits were curtailed once he went to live with Violet’s family.
When the three were done with Eton, they entered university. Mark’s
scholarship had ended with his matriculation from Eton. But Colin had insisted on paying for his university education.
Mark had become a close friend and confidante to Anna. Unfortunately, he looked at her as a little sister. She saw him as the man she would always love from afar.
When he graduated from university with firsts, he joined the Foreign Office. Anna’s heart had broken when he announced his decision. It was one thing to know he would never be hers, but quite another to know he would be out of the country risking his life. She could not bear to think of him injured – and worse – but it was the profession he had chosen for himself. She was proud of him, but she prayed for his safety every day.
Occasionally, they received letters from him, delivered to England by a fisherman he trusted. The letters were addressed to the family, but as Uncle Colin would read them, Anna felt that each word was meant for her. After everyone had discussed them and said another prayer for his safety, Anna would take the letters out of her uncle’s desk and run her fingers over them. It was comforting to touch the paper he had held. She pictured him writing about his days, agonizing over the words. She could tell he didn’t wish to worry them, so he would speak of the foods he had eaten and the sights he had seen. But her heart could feel the very real dangers he had faced, how frightened he must have been and how lonely he was on his own.
She tried not to think of what he had done to relieve the loneliness, but she was also realistic. She knew he must have turned to women for comfort and tried to be glad for him. She hoped he had found companionship and someone to share the lonely nights. She just hoped he did not fall in love with any of them.
For Anna still harbored the unrealistic hope that one day he would return home and make her his wife.
So she wrote to him every night. The only problem was she couldn’t actually send him all those letters. When Uncle Colin wrote to Mark, he always included a page from everyone in the family. Anna found it extremely difficult to distill all the pages she had written to him in her diary to only one thin sheet. She hoped one day he might be able to read the rest of it, though she doubted he would be very interested in the minutia of her life after the excitement of his. But it was her way of feeling connected to him. She felt it was a direct connection from her heart to his.
Never and Always (Emerson Book 6) Page 19