by Taryn Steele
Was it scary knowing a shark was out there?
Yes.
Was it stupid of me to go in the water any way?
No.
Would I have done it for any random person?
I can’t answer that but I can say for Christopher, Abby, Nate, my mother, people I’m close with of course I would.
My mother used to tell me, you can’t save people, you can only love them. What happened in that water is proof, proof that my mother is wrong. I saved Chris and I love him and Abby very much. I can have both, if they’ll have me.
Does real love happen twice?
Christopher has been up since five o’clock in the morning bouncing from room to room in the house with so much enthusiasm for the surf competition today. I find myself spending extra time in the bathroom doing my hair and make-up. I still can’t decide if I want to wear a sundress or a tank top and shorts.
Why am I so nervous? I can just go with the flow, right? I should just do what Cole has been telling himself, no more what ifs.
A knock at the door snaps me from my nervous energy staring at myself in my robe. Chris charges toward the door as if he knows who it would be but we aren’t expecting anyone so I’m right on his tail.
Chris swings open the door and utters an “oh” under his breath and walks away. I peek around the door and find myself face to face with a flower delivery boy wearing a shirt that reads “Wild Roots.” He couldn’t be a day older than seventeen.
“Abigail Jenkins?” he asks.
“That’s me.”
“These are for you then,” he says, handing me a glass vase with what has to be at least four dozen flowers of bright, various colors. What shocks me the most is it’s a flower so unique and beautiful that I’ve never seen before. They look like a combination of a rose and a buttercup. I pull the card from the arrangement.
Abby,
I can’t wait to see you and Chris today.
Thinking about you.
Cole
Oh wow!
Driving to the surf competition has been traffic hell. I am beyond thankful that Cole told us to park at his rental on the beach because there is no way I would find a place to park in this chaos. Thankfully Chris and I decided to only bring the essentials so we don’t have much to lug around. We scan the area as we make our way down the steps. I can see we won’t get near the judges’ table at all so I tell Chris we’ll just stay in this vicinity. He seems bummed but I told him we’re more interested in seeing what’s happening in the water, plus there is an enormous movie screen showing close ups of the judges’ table so everyone can see their scoring.
Olivia sends me a text asking where I am so she’s not scouring the beach so I told her I made it easy for even her blonde self to find us.
Just walk straight down Cole’s stairs to the beach and we’re right there.
Once Chris and I have our chairs set and a blanket laid out we get ready for an awesome show. In a few mere minutes I can hear my name being shouted across the beach. I turn around to see Olivia waving at us. Christopher jumps with excitement when he sees Olivia surprised him by bringing her nephew Kane to join in the fun day. I see Nate right on Olivia’s tail and another woman following right behind him. She appears to be a smidgen taller than me but I can’t be one hundred percent sure since she’s a bit of a distance away. She has big sunglasses on. All I can say for sure is she is thin and has a gorgeous head of bouncy, light brown hair.
Who is that?
Nate charges at me, picks me up and swings me around exclaiming about what a great day it’s going to be. Olivia laughs at his antics. Their silliness can me only one thing. Yup, they had sex last night, or this morning. I’m just happy to see them so happy.
“Abby, this is my mom, Leah Baker,” Nate tells me.
“I’ve heard a lot about you, Abby. It’s nice to finally meet you.”
“It’s so nice to meet you,” I tell her, extending my hand for a proper hand shake.
For the next couple of hours we enjoy the each other’s company, conversation and the spectacular talent in the water surfing their hearts out. Christopher can’t stop smiling at the show, and having his best friend here with him is a bonus. I’m delighted to spend this time getting to know Nate and Cole’s mom, especially the funny childhood stories. It breaks my heart to see her repeatedly adjust her sunglasses and hair knowing she’s doing her best to hide a nasty black eye. I was honestly surprised when Nate brought up the floral shop she owned.
“Wait, you own Wild Roots?” I ask.
“I sure do, for over twenty-years now.” She giggles softly.
Naturally I know she must have scheduled my delivery this morning so I’m going to take advantage of her knowledge in the field.
“What type of flower was in my delivery? I’ve never seen it before and it’s so exquisite. They look as if a rose and buttercup had a baby.”
“That flower, my dear, is called a ranunculus. It means you are charming, and you are attractive. The ranunculus contains over six hundred species of flowers. They are also known by the name Coyote Eyes. According to Native American Legend, it earned the name when a coyote was throwing his eyes into the air and catching them again to entertain himself. It seems that an eagle suddenly swooped down and snatched the coyotes’ eyes from mid air. Unable to see without his eyes, the coyote plucked two ranunculus flowers from the field and fashioned them to his eyes. It’s always been one of Cole’s favorite stories in the flower shop.”
The announcer of the competition reports that it is time for a one hour break and the water is open to the public during that time. Just as I suspected Chris and Kane look to Olivia and myself for the go ahead to jump in the water, and of course we oblige. Whatever it takes to keep that smile on my boy’s face.
I hear Nate calling Cole’s name from behind me. I turn and see Cole attempting to make his way through the crowd to us. He has a large fan base following him requesting autographs and pictures. I make a mental note as I watch him give each fan acknowledgment. That says a lot about his character to me. It’s admirable and I like it.
Cole finally makes his way to us, hugs his mom and thanks for her coming. I can’t help but notice their whispers with each other. Are they talking about me? Shit. Is she telling him she doesn’t like me? If she doesn’t like me I’m fucked. Same goes for Olivia. Clearly Nate and Cole are close and protective of her, and rightfully so.
“Cole! Cole! Cole!” I turn to see Christopher running up from the water and jumps to get a hug from him. My heart melts at the sight.
Putting Chris down Cole asks, “Who wants lunch? I’m buying.” Of course everyone starts answering him all at the same time. It’s a sight full of hysterical frenzy. Cole whips out his cell phone from the pocket of his shorts and starts typing in what everyone is asking for. Turning to me he asks, “Will you come with me for an extra set of hands?” Of course I don’t admit it to him but I would have been a bit disappointed if he didn’t ask me to go with him.
Making our way, side by side through the hustle and bustle of people to get to the multitude of food stations we find ourselves in an awkward state of silence.
Geesh, Abby, think of something to say.
“How’s Christopher feeling?” Cole questions.
“So much better. You should have seen him this morning. You would have never guessed he was in the hospital this week. He was so excited for today,” I tell him honestly.
“How are you holding up with everything?”
“Me? I’m fine,” I lie.
“I feel as if you’re lying but I don’t know you well enough to call you out on it so I’m going to let that one pass. Listen Abby, I really wanted to call or stop by but I didn’t want to interfere or…”
“Cole,” I interrupt. “You could’ve … you should have … done either. I haven’t been sleeping much. The company would have been welcomed, but you sent flowers, and that was just as nice and very thoughtful. They are beautiful. Thank you.”
Cole and
I continue to walk side by side opening up to each other about our past and our feelings. I’m not sure if it’s everything that happened with Christopher in the water, or the fact that we can hide behind our sunglasses but I’m going to run with it. I divulge all the various thoughts that ran through my mind, keeping me up at night. I told him about the little things like not forgetting to buy orange juice to the big things like him risking his life in the ocean to save Christopher.
“Ever since I met you … Each moment I have spent with you and Christopher … all the dark places in my heart have gone away. We both lost love. We’ve both been shattered from the inside out and left our hearts empty…”
“I’m so scared, Cole,” I tell him cutting off his own words of mixed emotions. “What if … What if …” I stammer.
“We can’t do that, Abby. I learned after my own loss it did no good and told myself I would no longer live a life of what ifs, only oh wells. All we can do is hope our bad luck and heart ache is over.”
I don’t know if it’s his words, his soft spoken tone or the butterflies in my stomach but something is telling me to grow some lady balls and give this a chance.
I pull my sunglasses and rest them on top of my head, feeling brave to let Cole to really see me, to see the truth in my eyes. As if he can read my mind he follows suit removing his sunglasses as well. I reach for Cole’s hand with my left and interlace our fingers. With my free hand I bring it up to his face and caress his cheek. He closes his eyes briefly and he drops his chin. I move my hand from his face to the back of his neck and pull him to me, close my eyes and press my lips to his. He pulls me closer. I feel him place a hand on the side of my face and stroke my cheek with his thumb. The sensation of his lips on mine, his hand caressing my face is sending a wrath of salacious bombs throughout my body. I moan into his mouth which seems to entice him and he kisses me harder, our breathing grows heavier.
“Get a room!” I hear someone shout. People start whistling and cheering in response.
I don’t think I’ve ever been so caught up in a moment like that out in public that I temporarily forgot where I was. We break apart but just a few inches. We continue to stand so close that we can taste each others breath.
“Wow, Abby, that was …”
“Incredible,” I add, hoping his thought is the same as mine.
“Yeah.”
I breathe a sigh of relief at his admittance knowing now we are on the same page.
“I think I’d like to try your no more what ifs thing. I have a feeling it won’t be an oh well either,” I nervously admit.
“How about we get that food? Maybe some fried dough so I can kiss the powdered sugar off of your nose?” Cole says with a chuckle.
I can’t help but giggle myself at the memory of our time together at the carnival when he pointed out the mess that was my face. I look forward to making more memories with him just like that one.
Two years later.
I cannot stop laughing. I am to the point of snorting with tears running down my face. Meanwhile Olivia is dry heaving in my car. The last thing she wanted to see was her brother and sister in law doing it upon entering their house. I told her she had to stop letting herself in there without knocking first. Of course she blames me because I planned a visit for Christopher and Kane to hang out so we had to drop Chris off. I’m still not sure how it’s my fault for her not knocking first. It may be my fault that we were an hour early and Kane was at the neighbor’s but that’s neither here nor there.
We just left Jack & Lu’s Sub Shop and we are on our way to meet Cole and Nate on a tree job for lunch. It’s not originally how our Saturday was planned but things come up. It was an emergency situation where an old tree was looking like it might fall in the back yard. The owners have young children who obviously spend time playing out there. It was a potential recipe for disaster if the guys didn’t come over.
The four of us find a nice shaded area under a tree that wasn’t about to collapse. I mention to Cole how I received a very large, beautiful vase full of ranunculus flowers from his mom. Nate rolls his eyes at my mention of it.
“Hey, don’t be hatin’ because we’re the favorites now because you two decided to elope in Vegas last month,” Cole snaps back in a joking tone.
Before a friendly, brotherly brawl erupts I chime in as quickly as possible. “Let’s forget about how pissed Leah is about that and look at the positive; you two got married, but even better for Leah she is officially divorced and happier than ever.”
“Cheers,” everyone sounds off and we clink our soda cans in celebration.
“What if we took the next big step and moved in together?” Cole asks.
“Are you seriously what if’ing me, Colson Baker?” I ask trying to hide my giggles from the butterflies having a dance party in my stomach right now from his question. “No what ifs, remember? We just go with the flow, live it up because things just keep getting better and better. So, to answer your question, I say hell yes!”
The End
To my husband and daughter, thank you for allowing me the time to write this story and always supporting me.
To Christopher at CJC Photography, thank you for the most amazing pictures of Gus and Rachael. They are perfect for this story.
Sonia, thank you for your love of reading and “nerding out” as you call it, and always volunteering to be my proofreader.
To my beta readers, thank you for always being there for me and your speedy feedback.
Linda, I am so thankful you came in to my life. You are forever encouraging, and love me with no bounds. I only wish we lived closer so I could tell you daily in person.
Ansley, thank you for always fitting me in to your schedule. I cannot put into words how thankful I am for you.
Elaine, the world’s most amazing formatter, thank you for all that you do for me.
To all of my fellow indie authors, keep fighting the good fight. Never give up.
www.authortarynsteele.com
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For the music enthusiasts!
“New Rules” - Dua Lipa
“One More Time” - Daft Punk
“Billie Jean” - Michael Jackson
“Let’s Go” - Calvin Harris featuring Ne-Yo
“Inner Demons” - Julia Brennan
“The Look” - Roxette
“Broken Halos” - Chris Stapleton
“Tennessee Whiskey” - Chris Stapleton
“What Ifs” - Kane Brown
To read more from Author Taryn Steele check out The Enough Series.
Good Enough (Book 1)
Never Enough (Book 2)
Is Love Enough (Book 3)
Support
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
www.thehotline.org
Soaring Spirits International: 877-671-4071
www.soaringspirits.org