Number eight darted out first, curving the dirt like glass.
“Fuck yeah. He’s got the lead spot,” Trevor cheered.
“Called a holeshot,” I muttered, no emotion reaching my voice.
The guy turned to me and elbowed my arm, a flirty smile on his mouth. “Look at you, knowing about supercross.”
“Yeah.” I swallowed. “Kinda.”
Not only do I know more than you, it could have been me there supporting him.
You chose to walk away, Jayme. You don’t have a right to be upset.
Tell that to my heart. Tell my heart not to crumble under the idea Krista and Hunter are together. Possibly engaged! Wine and cider churned in my stomach, the scrumptious food turning sour.
I had foreseen it. I had known this would be the outcome, no matter what path I chose. Krista and Cody were meant to be Hunter’s family. As much as my soul felt like Hunter was mine, he never was.
“Holy. Shit!” Trevor’s voice rang out, jolting me from the sorrow sucking me into a pit, my gaze snapping to the TV.
A rider made a block pass as they rounded a corner. I had seen the move done before, during my first time watching Hunter race when Zack caused him to crash and took him out of a race.
My mouth dropped as I watched the rider blatantly ram into Hunter, trying to cut him off, swerving into Hunter’s bike.
“Oh no!” the correspondent yelled as the wheels on Hunter’s bike came out from under him, tossing him into the dirt, his bike crunching down on him. Horror coated my tongue, a scream catching as motorbikes unable to get out of the way in time crashed or ran over him, twisting into a pile of machines and bodies heaped upon him.
“No!” I shrieked, my feet hitting the floor, terror scraping my lungs. “Hunter!”
The announcer’s loud panicky voice tunneled in my ear saying words I no longer understood, my mind shutting down.
Emergency crews ran out onto the track, dozens of bent motorcycles and bodies overwhelming the handful of EMTs.
“Oh god… Hunter…” I wailed, not caring everyone around me stared at me like I was crazy. They had no idea the boy I still loved was deep underneath. Trapped.
Possibly dead.
“Can you see him? Is he okay?” My high-pitched voice carried through the bar, my anguish desperate for any reassurance as I searched everyone’s faces.
“I-I don’t know…” Trevor waggled his head, stepping away from me, my reaction to the accident alarming him.
“Jayme?” Sammie touched my shoulder, whipping my head to her. “Are you okay?”
“No,” I whimpered, staring back at the TV. “I need to know he’s okay. Please tell me he’s all right.” Tears slipped down my face as more emergency crews ran onto the track. A few of the riders got up and limped away, but still Hunter was buried too far under to see him.
The remains of the accident took me back to that hot night more than fourteen months ago. The agony, the pain, and heart-wrenching loss. The squealing of tires, the crunch of metal and bone.
No. Not again. I can’t lose another Harris. I can’t lose him.
“Do you know him?” Sammie asked. “I don’t understand? What is going on?”
“Is this live or taped?” I shouted at the bartender, widening his eyes in alarm. “Live. Or. Taped?”
“Live, I think,” Trevor replied, staring at me like I was a freak.
Hot tears pooled down my cheeks, my hand covering my mouth as the TV cut to commercial.
“No!” I yelled at the monitor, despair moving me around, wanting to jump in the TV. I needed to know what was going on. If he was okay.
My hands grappled for my jacket, pulling out my mobile. I had cleared my phone of Hunter to remove the temptation of texting him when I was drunk and vulnerable. But I knew where I could find another number, one I kept because the thought of completely cutting all ties whirled terror in my bones.
With hands trembling, I scrolled down my calls until I found the number. The sound of the ring hummed in my ear, my legs pacing back and forth. Please pick up.
It rang continuously, no one answering, sending me from rationality. I hung up, redialing instantly.
“Jayme, you’re freaking me out. What is going on?” Sammie stood in front of me, twisting me in a different direction. I couldn’t talk or explain anything to anyone. Not until I knew he was all right.
The phone clicked. “Hello?”
“Oh, thank god, Jones…” I grabbed the stool, keeping myself standing. “I saw… Please tell me he’s okay. Please…” I sobbed. I had the same surreal sense of being outside my own body as the night my father told me Colton was dead. Somehow, I lived through that; this I wouldn’t.
“Jayme, I can’t talk right now.” His voice was filled with panic and horror.
“Please!” I strangled the cell. “I need to know he’s okay.”
A shaky sigh exhaled from Jones. “I don’t know anything more than he’s alive. The EMT won’t let us out there… but fuck, Jayme… it’s bad. Really bad.”
A soggy gasp clogged my throat. Alive didn’t mean okay. He had already gone through so much. I had watched him almost die at my feet once, his body even more damaged than mine had been.
“I don’t know what to do.” Jones’s voice calmed me in a strange way. I had missed him. More than I realized. “Do I fly back? I feel like I should be there.”
“No, Jayme. Stay where you are. I’ll call you when I know something, okay?”
I squeezed my lids closed, not ready to end the link to Hunter. To his world.
“Jayme?”
“Yeah.” I nodded, not fighting the liquid running down my face. “Okay.”
“I’ll talk to you later.” Jones hung up, leaving me cradling the mobile, staring up at the TV a thousand miles from where my heart was.
Chapter Ten
Clouds moved on the horizon, diffusing the light in soft colors. Gold and orange stained the stone walls of the Ponte Vecchio Bridge as I strolled over Ponte Santa Trinita, sucking in the crisp morning air chilling my nose. Inside I felt nothing, unable to absorb the beauty in the sunrise. The city just started to stir awake, but for the most part I was alone. I had been all night.
Sleep was not something I could expect, even though exhaustion wore heavily on my bones. In a few hours I had to be at the Galleria, but my mind could only churn with horrible scenarios. I checked my phone every other minute. Six hours separated me from Hunter’s current time, but I doubted anyone was sleeping there either.
Jones, why aren’t you calling me back? I had texted and called enough already with no response. He knew I was waiting for an update.
After Sammie and I went back to our room, I confessed to her about my past with Hunter: the accident, Colton’s death, the rehab to walk again, all the way to the point of leaving Hunter in Denver. She sat wide-eyed and gaping through most of it, unable to believe all that happened to me. It was three a.m. before she succumbed to sleep, but I could tell my restless pacing and sighs were keeping her up.
The quiet streets of Florence welcomed me in its dark embrace, and while the town slept, I wandered down cobble streets and into peaceful piazzas. A vendor opened his stand, and I pounced on the rich aroma of coffee wafting from it. The warmth slid up my cold nose and into my freezing fingers.
Bakery shops opened their doors, welcoming the first people who dared to meet the morning so early. My stomach rolled at the thought of food. A sick feeling waded in my soul I couldn’t shake, something I didn’t want to acknowledge, even in my thoughts. The unease tapped against my patience, making me spin in circles at times. Nothing eased it—not walking, not sitting, not anything.
Unable to stand it anymore, I dialed again as I moved back across the bridge. Each unanswered ring made my heart sink into my toes. Then the line clicked and my pulse jumped in my throat. Jones’s voice was muffled, like he had covered the speaker, and then his voice rang out sharp in my ear.
“Hey, Jayme.”
; “Oh god, Jones…” The emotion I held back all night sprang into my eyes and slid down my throat. His voice was my life line to Hunter, and with it came my suppressed feelings. “Do you know anything?”
“Not much,” he croaked, sounding both drained and as though he fought to keep it together. “He just got out of surgery. He’s stable, but in intensive care. He’s in a coma, and there’s swelling on his spine.”
I made a cry and pressed my hand against my chest.
“He’s fucked up bad, Jayme.” Jones choked, straining to keep back a sob. “He was crushed and run over multiple times. The doctors are shocked he lived. But they think he will walk again.”
I knew from my past experience, that only time would tell if he could walk again. The swelling had to go down before they knew anything.
“Jones…” was all I could respond. Blood welled up on my lip where I bit down.
“He’s alive,” Jones huffed in a shaky breath. “They hope he will heal, but the doctors already said…” Jones paused, a clipped sob pushing through his nose. “He won’t ever ride again. His body has gone through too much injury, back to back. I don’t care personally, but you know him, Jayme… This is going to break him. This was his world.”
I blinked my lashes hummingbird quick as tears flowed down my face.
A muffled voice in the background moved closer to Jones. I could tell he covered the receiver, but a woman’s voice still broke through.
“Is that her?”
“Krista, back off, she’s worried.”
“Give me the phone.”
“No.”
“Jones, give the fuckin’ phone to me!”
Sounds of wrestling scratched in my ear before Krista’s voice sliced through the mobile.
“Jayme, this is Krista.” Her voice was strong and unyielding, like stone. “I need you to stop calling. You are no longer in Hunter’s life. You have to stop coming back into it.”
“Excuse me?” I barked. “Just because we aren’t together doesn’t mean I stopped caring.”
“He has a long road ahead of him, and you will only make things worse. You always did! Don’t you get that? So stop… Hunter was doing well; we were doing well. He is not yours. His family and friends are here, and that’s all that matters. We’re going to get him through this.”
The we in her declaration felt like a dagger plunging into my stomach.
“If you really care about him and love him as you claim, you will let him go. It is the best for him.”
Fighting words sat in my throat but wouldn’t make it to my lips. Was I being selfish? Was he better without even a hint of me in his life?
“You understand, Jaymerson? I’m not trying to act like a bitch just to be one. Hunter is everything to us. To me. I want what’s best for him.” Krista’s voice softened, cracking with emotion. “You know he’s okay; now I need you to let go of him. Please.”
As much as I hated her words, I felt no cattiness from her, just a solid determination to protect what she had, what was best for her friend. Maybe her boyfriend. She had never liked me and had warned me if I hurt him, she would hurt me.
She kept to her promise.
And I needed to keep mine.
“Yes.” The singular word splintered me in irreparable pieces. I had to give Hunter a chance at happiness. I couldn’t stand in his way.
“Okay. Goodbye.”
Click. It was the sound of the last tie to Hunter being severed. Forever.
Hazily, I moved a few yards. Stopped. Walked a few more paces.
As if an avalanche pummeled down on my body my knees smacked pavement and my lungs heaved for air. Unable to take a full deep breath, shadows tinted the edge of my vision. Grief and fear shook launched a full-blown panic attack. His present condition flooded all the memories of what he and I went through more than a year ago. It felt like I was doomed to repeat the same gut-wrenching agony, just with the other brother. The one I loved with every fiber of my being.
Every time I thought I moved on from the nightmares of the accident, from Hunter, I realized what a fool I had been. They were only boxed up, waiting to pounce the moment my shield was down. I still loved him so much, but in loving him I had to let him go. He was not meant for me.
I curled forward with the effort of my sobs. He was alive, but I felt the hole in my soul as though my heart didn’t understand the difference.
Water from the Arno River slipped beneath me as I pressed my forehead into the stone wall lining the bridge.
He’s alive. That’s the most important. I circled around the thought over and over, holding on to anything I could. Losing Colton had been hard, but losing Hunter would be devastating. I felt my heart would never heal. I would never know love like that again, never be whole.
Pushing myself onto my feet, I stared down at the dark, graceful water. Dumping what was left of my tattered heart over the side, I imagined the leftovers floating away, no longer needed.
Inhaling, I lifted my chin as I walked back to the dorm rooms. Life carried on and I was strong. I would get through.
But there were events that shaped you.
Changed you.
Swallowed you and left you broken inside.
Chapter Eleven
Six months later
“No, stay, bellezza.” Luca’s arms wrapped around me, pulling me back on the bed, kissing me deeply. “You cannot leave.” He stared down at me, his eyes full of emotion, forcing me to pull back from him.
“You know I can’t stay.” I unwrapped myself from the sheets, grabbing my dress off the floor, and pulling it over my naked body. “Angelo wants me to stop in and say goodbye, and I have a lot of packing to do before my flight tomorrow.” I patted down my hair, staring out Luca’s bedroom window, the dome from the Cathedral of Santa Maria del Fiore cutting above the rest of the building. My chest tightened. This was the last time I’d look at it from this window.
“No.” Luca propped up on his elbow, his long, toned body defined through the thin sheet. “I mean stay for good.” His clipped English was a thousand times better than my Italian, although I had gotten better.
“My visa is up; I can’t stay. Plus, I really do think my father will kill me if I don’t come home this time. My grandparents even put in a pool at our house as a welcome back gift.” I rolled my eyes. They didn’t do it for me but to show up Grandma Penny because she couldn’t afford such lavish gifts but baked cookies with us instead. My jeep, the pool—it was all to display they were better than her. Money and gifts were nothing to my Grandma Penny’s love.
I had hoped the Galleria would have a job opening for me after my internship ended, but no such luck. Caterina was kind enough to write me a recommendation letter, which I guess she never did, so I was thankful for that. It would look great on my resume.
If there was any hope I could stay the summer, it withered away when I got a call from Mom.
“First, let me say she’s okay,” Mom rushed out the moment I answered the call.
Dread strangled my airwaves, a knee-jerk reaction to traumatic news. “What happened?”
“Your grandmother,” my mom snipped in annoyance. “Yes, Mother, I’m talking about you.”
“Oh, Amy, you are such a drama queen.” Grandma Penny’s voice soothed my fear.
“Mom?” I yelled into the phone. “Talk to me… What happened?”
“Your grandmother…” She started again. When Grandma Penny did something crazy she became “your grandmother,” like it was my fault. “She and her Bunco group decided it would be a good idea to go parasailing.”
A grin broke over my mouth. I already knew where this was going.
“And guess who broke her leg and is staying with us all summer?”
“I was perfectly happy at my own house, Amy. It was you who demanded I come here.”
“Mom, you can’t walk without help. How did you expect to get around?”
“That cutie Carter from down the street, Joan and Gary’s grandson,”
Grandma replied. “Oh, don’t give me that look. When did you get so uptight? He’s twenty! Plus, I’m not going to touch. I simply enjoy watching him mow my lawn.”
“Moooommmm,” my mother whined into the phone, only making me laugh harder. “Jay-Jay, you have to come home now,” she whispered hoarsely in the phone. “Help me or I’m going to lose my mind. One of us won’t make it through the summer.”
“I’ll be home in a few days,” I reassured her. “Don’t kill each other until I get there.”
“No promises,” Mom huffed before we hung up.
With my school visa at its end and my parents wanting me home, I knew I had to be on the plane. I missed my family like crazy. And Stevie. The thrill of knowing she was back at home with her mother for the summer almost made leaving Florence worth it. I couldn’t wait to see her again. She told me I was a huge reason she gave into her mom, that being back home was endurable only if I were there.
Leaving this city was going to break my heart, especially because of Colleen and the friends I made at the museum.
And leaving Luca…
“I want you to stay.” Luca’s pleading drew me back to him, his dark eyes searching mine. “Marry me, bellezza.”
Shocked laughter spurted from my mouth, swinging me around. “Are you kidding me?”
“No. Do I not look serious?” His eyebrows narrowed in confusion, the little nuances between cultures not always understood. “I love you. If you marry me, you can stay.”
Sheer panic squeezed my lungs, shrinking the room around me, as it had every time he told me he loved me. He first told me four months ago, but I darted and weaved around it like a ninja. It was only a month ago that I had finally admitted the truth to myself.
“Do you not love me?” He sat up, his toned stomach rippling from the hours he spent playing soccer when he wasn’t at the museum.
I did. The knowledge had startled me. Somewhere along the line, Luca had moved into the last shred of my heart that was still alive. I didn’t know if it was enough though, I was already so broken.
Broken Love (Blinded Love Series Book 2) Page 11