An Old Flame

by Raquel Belle

  “What were you up to tonight?” I asked. But what I said was strung together, sounding like one huge word. I squinted at her, and she rolled her eyes.

  “I was with that guy we met the other night, on a date. Remember when you weirded out on his friend?” Leena shifted on the barstool and nearly fell over. I caught her, making the situation worse since my sense of balance was worse than hers. We held each other’s arms, as we steadied and then cracked up.

  “Yeah, yeah, I remember. He was cute, I was jealous,” I said.

  She nodded. “He’s perfect. He’s too perfect!” She took another long sip of her Long Island iced tea.

  My phone started to buzz on the bar top. I answered. “Principal Shane!” I yelled.

  Leena started to laugh all over again beside me.

  “My god woman,” Shane said, “you sound like you’re made of liquor, I’m jealous. Where are you?”

  “I’m—we’re…” I looked at Leena who shrugged and looked to the bartender across from us. He’d been wiping glasses and thoroughly enjoying our drunken banter.

  “You’re at Wheelan Pub,” he said, chuckling. I repeated the name, and Shane said he’d be over in ten minutes. I glanced at the time, it was pushing one in the morning. Behind us, the bar was full, and the place wasn’t closing anytime soon. When Shane walked in, Leena and I waved at him like two idiots, and he sat on the free barstool next to me.

  The first thing he did was address the bartender. “I need to be as drunk as they are asap,” he said, his voice nearly pleading. His suit jacket was missing, and he’d loosened his collar and tie.

  “So … The dinner got super fun after I left?” I asked. Shane cracked up to the point of tears. I laughed too, even though I didn’t know what was so funny.

  “I hate those dinners with the passion of a thousand suns,” he said. The bartender gave him half a tumbler of scotch, and Shane slid him a fifty. “Please, keep them coming,” he said and took a healthy drink from the glass. “Anyway, if I wasn’t reporting exactly what we do with the money to all of those-stuck up douche bags, I was dodging passes from women who assume I’m straight or listening to some bullshit idea for the school. It’s a nightmare every year.”

  “That sounds awful,” Leena said, her expression truly sympathetic.

  “Oh, Shane, this is my best friend Leena,” I said, quickly introducing them.

  “Nice to meet you, beautiful,” Shane said, and they touched glasses. “So, Steph must’ve filled you in on everything, huh?”

  Leena nodded. “Mark is an idiot. He always has been, and outside of computers and coding, he’s clueless,” she said. “Steph did you tell him about the whole story?” Leena asked.

  “The short version,” I said and finished my martini. I asked the bartender for water after that.

  “Well, get this, Shane, the whole reason Mark cheated on her was because he was drunk, and the girl who came on to him was named Stephanie,” Leena said.

  “What!” Shane looked at me in shock. I nodded sagely. “Wow,” he said. “…the guy is a billionaire, but he’s stupid.”

  I sighed and took a sip of my water. “I’m the stupid one. I should’ve known he was capable of cheating,” I said.

  In unison, Shane and Leena yelled at me not to blame myself. I waved my hand dismissively.

  “Anyway,” I said, “that’s in the past now. Seeing him was a shock, but I don’t intend on ever running into him again. I can’t deal with that stress.” Shane, who was already done with his first drink, asked for another from the bartender. I realized he was giving the guy awfully big tips.

  “Shane, do you like him?” I asked.

  Leena nudged me. “Don’t mess up his game, Steph.”

  Shane chuckled, but the bartender hadn’t moved away from our group, and he grinned at Shane, hoping for yet another big tip.

  “What about your game?” I asked Leena, “How’d the date go?”

  She sighed. “Like I said, he’s too damn perfect. He didn’t even make any douchebag comments about wanting to have sex after. He was …”

  “A gentleman?” Shane asked, as he ran his fingers through his hair and took a sip from his glass.

  Leena nodded.

  “Well, finally,” I said. “It’s been forever since you found yourself around a good guy.”

  “They’re hard to come by,” Shane said.

  “I know, but …is it wrong that I’m suspicious of him? Like, what if he’s a serial killer?” Leena said. With that, the bartender finally burst into laughter listening to us.

  Chapter Seven

  Mark

  After Stephanie left, I didn’t stick around either. I couldn’t stop thinking about her. The entire drive home, I bounced between memories of me and her in bed, and the last argument we had before she broke off the engagement. I shouldn’t have given up back then. I should’ve fought for her. As I drove down the private road to my house, I called Jimmy.

  “Yo!” he answered.

  “You free?” I asked. I pulled up to the huge, wrought iron gate that came with the place and dug the passkey sensor out of my glove compartment. As soon as I had it in my hand, the gates swung open.

  “Yeah, I was gonna head to a little ‘after fundraiser drinks,’ but the girl I was hoping to meet with bailed on me,” he said, but I barely heard any of it.

  “Yeah, I had … one shit-storm of a night,” I said. “I’ve got some cigars at my place.”

  “I’ll be there in like fifteen,” he said, and we ended the call. I parked my car in front of the garage and jogged to the front door. The house was a modern, Seattle mansion. Lots of windows, kinda boxy, but I liked it. The house was masculine in design, surrounded by a lot of trees, and it had wooden accents with its light grey and dark metallic façade. I unlocked the double door entrance and stepped into the foyer, dropping my car keys on the small table beside the door. The house inside was decorated in blues and wood tones. Since I’d gotten the place, I only used and occupied a small percentage of it.

  There were tons of guest rooms and suites outside of the living room, library, study, family room, media room, kitchen, dining room, mud room, and the couple of small parlors. I took off my jacket and hung it up in the coat closet, then walked to the living room where the dry bar and display humidor were. More than anything, I needed a strong drink. I poured myself a scotch and pinched the bridge of my nose, as Steph’s face flashed in my mind. She was still beautiful. Still the woman I fell head-over-heels for, and I couldn’t even talk to her.

  I walked to the glass patio doors and pushed one open. The backyard had its own living and cooking space along with a larger-than-life pool. I sat on the couch and watched the lights in the pool change color as its waterfall melded into background noise. It was cold out, but the more I drank, the more I didn’t feel the chill. Jimmy had his own access to the gate and a key to the front door, which was unlocked anyway. I didn’t worry about having to let him in as I refilled my drink.

  As I stepped outside, I heard Jimmy’s tell-tale, “Yo!” from the foyer.

  “I’m out back,” I called and sat down. Jimmy came out a few minutes later with a cigar in hand and a torch to light it. His hair was pulled back into a bun, and his shirt was unbuttoned at the collar, as were his cuffs.

  “Didn’t you go to that donor’s dinner at my old school?” Jimmy asked. He lit his cigar and puffed a few times. I sipped my drink and glanced at the sky. A light mist had started to fall on the pool.

  “Yeah and Stephanie was there. She’s a teacher at Norman Port,” I said bluntly. Jimmy stared at me, his eyebrows were practically in his hairline, as his mouth hung open.

  “What the hell did you say? You spoke to her, right?”

  I nodded. “Yeah, and she ripped me a new one. She’s still hurt by what happened …,” I said, as I took another sip of scotch. My head was starting to swim nicely.

  Jimmy sat forward and rested his elbows on his knees. “That must mean she still loves you … or has
some feelings for you.”

  I shook my head. “Nah, she hates me. She … really hates me.”

  Jimmy sighed and shook his head, and then he took a few more puffs from the cigar. “How do you feel about her?” he asked.

  “I love her. Still. She’s the only person I see myself committed to and being with for the rest of my life,” I mumbled.

  “Then why did you cheat back then, man?” Jimmy asked. “You can’t blame Neil and alcohol for that, not completely.”

  I took a deep breath and exhaled deeply. “I don’t know … I …” I stared into the glass of amber liquid and took a breath.

  “If you ask me, I think you were curious. I never told you, but I saw that look on your face when the girl walked in. You wanted to experience another woman even if for a second,” Jimmy said.

  “But ultimately, I want Stephanie! I don’t want anyone else. I’m done playing the field or whatever. And curious or not, that still doesn’t change the fact that those pictures were taken and sent to her.” I shook my head angrily. “Neil took those pictures.”

  “Neil didn’t take those pictures. There were like three other chicks in the section, and your phone was on the table. Those girls were all friends,” he added.

  “Your memory is ridiculous,” I told him.

  He chuckled. “Anyway, it doesn’t matter. All that matters, is that if you still love Stephanie, you need to get her back.” He took another puff of the cigar.

  “How am I supposed to do that if she doesn’t even want to look at me?” I asked.

  Jimmy shrugged. “Persistence always works right? You just have to show her consistency, and show her you’re serious, but don’t be creepy, man,” he added.

  “She looks the same,” I said, “and she had a date.” Jimmy looked at me, confused. I shrugged. “At the dinner … seems she’s dating her boss.”

  “Aw, shit. Competition,” Jimmy said. “Wait, her boss?” he asked incredulously.

  I nodded. “It appeared so.”

  “That’s not real. That can’t be real. He’s probably her work friend or something, and he’s helping her stay away from you.”

  “You’re probably right. Yo, Jimmy, you’re like Yoda!” I said. Jimmy smirked and nodded his head with an all-knowing expression. I put my glass down on the coffee table. “But how am I gonna approach her again? She doesn’t want to see my face.” The rain started to pick up and an icy breeze swept through the patio.

  “When does she get off work?” he asked.

  I shrugged and took out my phone. I searched up Norman Port for the business hours. “School ends at two fifteen but their business hours end at six.”

  “So, wait around for her at six. You don’t want to be that guy hanging around outside of a school for four hours. You’ll get arrested,” Jimmy said.

  I snorted. “Yeah … she’ll be pissed about me showing up there.”

  “But it’s your only shot,” Jimmy said.

  ***

  I pulled into Norman Port’s parking lot and parked next to a familiar looking Volvo. When I got out, the Volvo’s lights flashed, and the car beeped. I glanced behind me and saw Stephanie hurrying towards it.

  “Steph!” I said. Her head snapped up, eyes wide and lips parted.

  “What the hell are you doing here?” she hissed, then her expression softened with confusion. “Do you have kids that go here?” Her question was tentative.

  “No, I don’t have kids … I’m not married or anything,” I said.

  She huffed and walked past me to put her bags in the car. I tried to help her, but she slapped my hand away. “You know you can get arrested for loitering around a school,” she said. “You shouldn’t be here, you have no right, or business being here,” she said. She shut her passenger door and walked around to the driver’s side.

  “I’m sorry, I just wanted to see you. To talk some more,” I said. She rubbed her temple and brushed a few auburn hairs out of her face. She wore a modest blouse and grey slacks, her hair was pulled into a bun. She wore little makeup but really didn’t need it anyway.

  “I don’t—”

  “How about coffee? It’s cold, so we could take a drive to Starbucks,” I said.

  She shook her head. “Mark…” She sighed and looked to the grey sky for answers. Whoever she prayed to, I hoped they told her to give me a shot.

  “Please, Steph, I just want to have a real talk,” I said. She turned her head and looked through the school’s gate to the upscale townhouses across the street. “We could go to Starbucks right around the corner,” I said.

  “If I say ‘yes,’ will you leave me alone after?” she asked.

  I nodded, lying, but I figured she knew me enough to know that. “Fine,” she said and got into the car. I practically sprinted to mine and got in like I had a race to win.

  When we got to the Starbucks, I parked next to her and waited until she got out of the car. Her hair was loose around her shoulders then, and I saw how tired she was. I felt bad for taking her from her bed, but she was giving me a shot, I had to take it. Or risk not speaking to her ever again.

  Stephanie didn’t go to the line when we stepped in. Instead, she found an empty table in the back and made a beeline for it. I followed her but didn’t sit down. “Do you want anything?” I asked.

  “Not really,” she said. I told her that I’d be right back and went to stand in line. Back in college, Steph would order the same thing from Starbucks every time. A caramel macchiato and banana bread loaf. I hoped she still liked those things. I couldn’t help but to glance over my shoulder every so often to make sure she was still at the table. She was texting someone, I wondered if it was Principal Shane. It took about five minutes for me to order and bring it to the table once ready. Steph was still texting when I brought everything over.

  She looked up and quirked her brow when I pushed the macchiato and banana bread towards her. “I hope you still like these?” I asked.

  “Thanks,” she said and took a piece of the banana bread. I glanced around at the few people near us. A couple guys were on laptops, pointing back and forth, working on something. A woman was reading a book. A teenager was texting.

  “So, what did you drag me here to talk about?” she asked. I knew that if I asked for a second chance outright, she’d shoot me down. I had to be stealthy about it.

  “I was hoping we … could keep in touch, you know? Hang out and stuff,” I said, cringing inside at how lame I sounded. Stephanie looked at me for a long time. She didn’t say anything. Her eyes just shifted around my face. I wished I knew what the hell she wanted to see, so that I could show it to her.

  “I can’t be friends with you, Mark.”

  I shifted forward in my chair and put my hand around my black coffee. “Stephanie, for what happened back then—I was stupid. You were the only woman I saw myself spending the rest of my life with. That night … it was an anomaly, and it shouldn’t have happened, and from the moment you slammed the door in my face, I haven’t stopped regretting how I hurt you,” I said.

  “This is more than about the girl, Mark,” Stephanie said. She swallowed and then turned her cup around a few times, her eyes on the table between us. “I …” she took a breath and then shook her head. “It just hurts to look at you,” she said. “I think we should end here.”

  I shook my head. “What? No. It’s not fair for you to decide that all on your own,” I said. “I’m not that guy who kissed someone else anymore. Let me prove myself, Steph.”

  She sighed heavily and glanced at the ceiling for a moment. “What do you want to prove? Why do you have to prove yourself to me?” she asked, her tone exasperated.

  “I want to prove that I’m the same Mark you fell in love with. I want to prove that I’m not an idiot anymore because I want to be with you,” I said earnestly.

  “I …” Stephanie started to protest, but I held my hand up.

  “I know you can’t possibly be with that Shane guy,” I said. Stephanie rubbed her face w
ith both hands and then pushed her hair back. She glanced over my shoulder at the door.

  “Let’s just hang out. What are you doing for dinner tomorrow?” I asked, backtracking. I could tell she’d soon get up and leave. She used to do that whenever something got to be too much for her.

  “Nothing … I guess,” she murmured.

  “Would you like to go out to eat? With me?” I didn’t know why I was so nervous. No other woman had made me feel as off kilter as Stephanie. Any other woman would have jumped at the chance to go out with me. But Steph knew me before I had a Fortune 500 company, she knew me before I was anything.

  “As a date?” she asked.

  I shook my head. “Not really, it’ll be a casual thing,” I said. “Just the two of us, casually eating … casually sitting, and casually talking,” I said.

  She smirked, it was the barest hint of a smile, but I saw it. “Fine, casual Tuesday,” she said and stood up. She took her coffee and banana bread with her.

  “Wait, can I have your number? Is it the same?” I stood with her and fished out my cell phone.

  “You saved my contact information all this time?” she asked.

  “Yeah, why would I delete it?”

  She blinked a few times then took her purse and phone. “I have the same number. Do you still have the old one? Because I blocked it,” she said bluntly. I snorted, of course she blocked the number. I’d spammed her right after we broke up so long ago. I would’ve blocked me too.

  “No, it’s a different one. I’ll call you later?” I said. Stephanie took a deep breath.

  “Ah … just text me that it’s you,” she said. “Bye Mark.” Her tone was final, and she walked to the door quickly. I let her go. My chest filled with a sense of victory. I had made progress. We had to take baby steps moving forward. I could do baby steps, for Steph. Hell, I’d do ant steps as long as she was giving me a shot.