Selfless (Selfish Series Book 3)

by Shantel Tessier

  I hang my head, running a hand through my hair, and then I throw back what’s left in my glass. “How old is she?” I ask, clearing my throat.

  “Five,” Rosie answers.

  “Ryder, I need you to listen,” my father speaks.

  “How could you?” I demand, standing. “How could you keep her from us?” I look at Rosie. “And you? Does Jaycent know?” She looks away from me, shaking her head.

  My father stands and takes a deep breath. “Calm down. I didn’t cheat on your mother.”

  I snort. “You think I give two shits if you cheated on her?” I demand. “I care that you kept this little girl from us.” I’m not an idiot; I know my parents aren’t faithful. Two people that unhappy won’t have that much respect for one another.

  “I had to,” Rosie says as she starts to cry.

  “Bullshit!” I snap.

  “Enough!” my father roars.

  I take a deep breath as Rosie stands and runs out of the room, crying harder. My father falls back down into his seat and sighs heavily. “She’s not mine,” he states.

  I snort. “More lies.”

  “I’m not lying.” He grinds out. “But she is your sister.”

  I roll my eyes. “How is that possible then?”

  He lifts his head, and his eyes meet mine and I see something in them that I’ve never seen before. Regret. It’s so heavy that I find myself sitting back down as well. “Maggie’s mother had an affair with Rosie’s dad. Your little sister is the result of that.”

  ASHLYN

  I lie in Ryder’s bathtub, music blaring and my bubbles so thick I can’t even see my body. An empty bottle of wine sits on the floor beside me. It was the first thing I did when I walked into Ryder’s apartment. And even though I drank the entire thing in a matter of thirty minutes, I’m not feeling much from it.

  I’m in the middle of washing my legs when I see the bathroom door open. Ryder walks in with his head down. His hair is standing every which way, and his eyes look red.

  “Babe? What’s wrong?” I ask, immediately standing. He never did call me back today. So many times I picked up my phone to try again but didn’t want to bother him.

  He turns, giving me his back while gripping the black countertop, and drops his head. I watch the muscles in his back strain against the fabric of his white button up.

  “Ryder?” I yell over the music as bubbles and water slide down my body.

  I step out of the tub to go to him when he reaches over, grabs the UEBoom that plays the music from my phone, and throws it across the bathroom. It hits the wall with a loud thud and then the music stops.

  I stand outside the tub, dripping wet, body shaking due to the cold air, and eyes wide—not sure what to do. Or what to say. So I just watch him. Now that his head isn’t down, I can see him better in the mirror. And I was right; his eyes are bloodshot, and I take in a long breath and smell alcohol on him. Has he been at a bar? He’s missing his black tie he left with this morning and his black suit jacket. His shirt has the top two buttons undone, and it’s untucked.

  Finally, he turns to face me, and I take a step back when he comes toward me. I see hurt flash across his face, and I practically run to him. I’m not afraid of him in the least. I wrap my arms around him, and he doesn’t waste a second as he does the same, pulling my wet body to him and soaking his clothes. “It’s okay,” I say, knowing that whatever it is, it’s bad.

  Ten minutes later, I’m dried off, and he’s undressed. We crawl into bed, and I cuddle up to him. “Talk to me, baby.”

  He lies on his back, staring up at his ceiling, me on my left side with my arm flat on his bare chest. “Did you have a bad day at work?” I know he was nervous today about signing the paperwork. He tries to be tough, but I think that would scare anyone. The fear of failure is stronger than love if you ask me. When you allow yourself to love someone, they have the power to break you. When you set yourself up high, only you can bring yourself down.

  He takes a deep breath and finally speaks. “I have a sister.”

  I frown. “This is about Becca?” Is he still mad about her and Jaycent?

  He softly shakes his head. “I have a five-year-old sister. Her name is Maggie.”

  I very slowly sit up and look down at him. His head falls to the right, and his eyes meet mine. “You’re not making any sense, babe.”

  “I followed my father today after he stormed out of the office, and I found him at Rosie’s house.”

  My frown deepens. “Rosie? As in Jaycent’s sister, Rosie?” I ask, remembering her from when Becca and I went to her salon and spa.

  He nods. “She is raising my little sister.”

  My eyes start to widen. “Rosie and your father have been having an affair?”

  He closes his eyes, and I feel his heart start to beat faster under my hand that still rests on his chest. “My mother had an affair with Jaycent and Rosie’s dad six years ago, and she had his child.”

  I can feel the heartbreak in his words. The way his muscles still strain as if he’s in physical pain. And if that didn’t give me enough clues, the fact that he said it all with his eyes still closed does. “Oh, God,” I whisper.

  His eyes open, and he looks up at me. “My mother gave her to Rosie when she realized her dad didn’t want any more than sex. Now that my father wants a divorce, Rosie is afraid that my mother will come after Maggie just to be a bitch. And I would bet my life on it that she will. She would want that sympathy as a single mother.”

  “Wow!”

  He nods. “And the kicker? I’m the only one who knows,” he adds. “Well, you too.”

  I sigh for his father and Rosie. How hard must it be to keep that kind of secret from loved ones. “Did you meet her?” I ask softly.

  For the first time since he walked into the apartment, he smiles as he looks at me. “She’s beautiful,” he says as he sits up. I can see the excitement in his bloodshot eyes. “She’s so smart. She took me to her bedroom and showed me her stuffed animals. And told me how much she loves school. She’s in kindergarten, by the way.” His eyes light up, and his voice went from hurt to excitement as he tells me everything he knows about his little sister.

  “That’s awesome, babe,” I tell him when he’s done.

  His face gets serious, and he sighs. “I was sitting in the cab when I saw her run out of the house to my father. He picked her up and twirled her around before kissing her on the cheek. I thought she belonged to him. And a part of me was mad. That I never saw him that way with Becca. And then I thought that was why he was so willing to walk away from the company. To give this little girl the dad he never was.” He shakes his head. “But I was wrong.”

  “It’s okay to feel that way,” I tell him. “That’s a lot to take in.”

  He wraps his arms around me and pulls me down onto the bed. “I want you to meet her.”

  I smile. “I would love to. But is that a good idea?” I ask. “If no one is allowed to know about her? How will your dad and Rosie feel about you telling me?”

  “We’re all going over to Rosie’s house this weekend for dinner. Dad is telling everyone then.”

  As I lie beside him, listening to the sadness in his voice while he tells me about his secret sister, I realize losing my job is small in comparison.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  RYDER

  My first week at running the company didn’t go as planned. I’ve been distracted and off my game. By the third day, I had a rhythm down and was in the middle of a phone call when my father walks in. He’s still here just as much as he used to be; it just doesn’t look like it on paper.

  “What did we decide to do with Hahn’s property on Fifth Avenue?” he asks.

  I end my call and sit up in my chair. “A hotel.”

  “Cancel it,” he orders.

  I arch my brow. “Why?”

  I know I was pissed at my dad when I found out about Maggie. But all that went away when he sat in Rosie’s living room telling me how his w
ife had an affair with his best friend, got pregnant, and then refused to keep the child. I had never felt so much respect for this man. Rosie has her salon, and I know she is set for life, but my father helps her out financially with Maggie. He said his best friend would have wanted that.

  “I have other plans for that space,” he answers.

  “Okay. What is it?”

  “I’ll let you know when I get more details,” he says, starting to walk out of my office. “Oh hey, Ryder?”

  “Yeah?” I ask, looking back up at him.

  “Is your mother still calling you?”

  I frown at his question but shake my head. “I think she got the hint.” I’ve learned a lot about my mother over the past couple of weeks, and I’ve concluded I don’t want anything to do with her.

  “Don’t be so sure. Maybe she just plans to confront you in person.”

  I snort. “I won’t be seeing her anytime soon.”

  “Yes, you will. Your cousin’s wedding is next weekend.” Then he walks out.

  “Shit!”

  Later that night, we lie in bed eating Cinnamon Toast Crunch out of the box. I got home later than she did and met her at her apartment. We decided to just stay here for the night since she hasn’t officially moved in with me yet. Too much has been going on. We were too exhausted to cook or even order carryout. So we cuddled up in her bed, watched some TV, and she grabbed the cereal box out of the kitchen.

  She’s lying on top of my arm resting her body against my side when her cat jumps up on the bed meowing. He makes his way up my leg and over my stomach. He sits down on my chest, and she reaches up with her left hand to pet him. “I’ve always been a fan of the shaved pussy, but I must say this is the ugliest shaved pussy I have ever seen,” I state, making her laugh.

  “Oh, yeah? Have a lot to compare it to?” she asks, still laughing.

  “I’m just saying.” The ugly thing looks right at me with those big glowing green eyes and overly large ears. I woke up this morning when it was still dark outside, and he scared the shit out of me when I found him sitting on the bathroom counter when I turned on the light. I swear he does shit like that on purpose. The rat remembers our first meeting, and he’s paying me back. “He looks like an old man’s set of balls,” I say with a frown.

  I look over his little shirt she has him dressed in. It’s the same color of his gray skin that makes him look like he has tattoos. The one on his chest says I love my momma. And one on his back that says this pussy won’t bite. “You dress him every day?” I ask.

  “Yes. I order him shirts and sweaters online.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I don’t want him to be cold,” she says like I should have known that.

  “It’s summertime in New York.”

  “But he still gets cold,” she argues as if the alien speaks to her.

  I turn onto my side, and the cat takes off meowing at me. I look at her and smile. “What?” she asks as she eyes me skeptically.

  “What are you doing next weekend?”

  “Nothing that I know of. Why?”

  “Good! We have a wedding to attend.”

  She laughs. “Oh, we do? And you’re just telling me now?”

  “I forgot,” I say, “until my father reminded me today.”

  “Where is it?” she asks.

  “The Hamptons.” She smiles. Then I drop the bomb. “My mom will be there...” Her smile falls. “And Vicki.”

  “I’m not going,” she states, shaking her head.

  “Yes, you are!” She goes to argue when I add, “You’re going, and that’s that.”

  “When did you become so bossy?”

  I lean and kiss her lips. “Since I got a girlfriend who wants to argue about everything.”

  I place my hand on her chest and pull it away when I feel crumbs on her skin. “What is on you?”She looks down at it and touches it. “I think it’s the cinnamon from the Cinnamon Toast Crunch,” she says with a laugh.

  I lean in and run my tongue along her chest bone. “Hmmm. Cinnamon tits,” I say, running my tongue along her nipple. “Best idea ever.” I push her down onto the bed, and she giggles as I lick her clean.

  ASHLYN

  The rest of the week flew by. I was busy at work going on like I wasn’t about to lose it. But Thomas and I couldn’t hide the fact we knew the end was coming fast. We both made call after call, trying to get interviews anywhere, but we couldn’t find anyone who was hiring. I had a few moments of panic but talked myself out of it by reminding myself that I had Ryder, the man I love, and that I was in New York. How bad can it be? I wouldn’t stop looking for a job, but I also wasn’t going to let it ruin me. And the thought of running back to Seattle was long gone. Ryder and Becca both needed me here.

  Instead of worrying about my job, I’ve been trying to be the best girlfriend I can be. Which is very hard. Because in order to play the girlfriend part, the boyfriend needs to be around. He has been pretty MIA all week with work. Tuesday, he had to fly to California for the day and ended up having to stay the night. I went down to my apartment to spend the night with Becca like old times, but she was at Jaycent’s. It’s so weird how much things can change in a matter of a couple of months. And how much more they are gonna change next week when I’m jobless.

  But finally, it’s the weekend, and this morning, we woke up, had sex, ate breakfast, and then did it again in the shower. I could tell Ryder was tense just from the night before. He tossed and turned all night long, and I knew it had to do with finding out about Maggie.

  “Where is she?” Becca asks as tears run down her face while we all sit in Rosie’s living room.

  “The nanny took her to the park. I didn’t want it to be too much for her. She will be back here soon for you to meet her,” Rosie tells her, her face also wet.

  Becca nods as she sits on the couch next to her father. I sit over on the loveseat alone. Ryder and Jaycent both stand over by the fireplace. Ryder’s face is clear of emotion while Jaycent’s is beet red in anger. “You’re letting a nanny raise her?” Jaycent snaps.

  “I didn’t want one.” Her eyes slide to Timothy’s for the briefest moment, and I feel like the nanny was non-negotiable. “But she does come in handy for things like this,” she adds softly.

  “How could you keep this from your family for five years?” he demands, looking at his sister.

  “I didn’t have a choice,” she tells him. “There are legal documents. Documents that Gwenda and I signed. If I said anything, I could lose her.”

  “Who the fuck cares!” he shouts. “She didn’t even want her!”

  She narrows her eyes at him, and her lips thin. “I care!” she snaps. “At any second, she could have changed her mind,” she argues. “You see it all the time in the news. Mother gets child back after x so many years …”

  “You should have told me no matter what!” he shouts.

  “Don’t you dare yell at me,” she shouts back at him. “You haven’t been here.”

  “And whose fault is that?” he snaps back.

  I watch as this family becomes divided by lies and secrets. And all I can think of is how did no one know Gwenda had a baby? I know Jaycent, Ryder, and Rosie were already adults and out of the house. But how did Becca not know? Or Timothy? Did he know the entire pregnancy that it wasn’t his kid? Maybe he thought it was his?

  She sighs heavily, and her shoulders start to shake as tears run down her face. “Why would I tell you?” she asks. “Were you going to help me?” He opens his mouth, and she raises her hand to stop him. “I never see you.”

  “I talk to you all the time,” he argues.

  “But we never see one another. I’m busy with work …”

  “Apparently, you’re busy with a lot of things.” He growls, looking over at her boyfriend. That I just found out minutes ago no one knew about. But supposedly, they’ve been together for two years. I don’t know much about Rosie except that she is a very private person. And given her circumsta
nces, I can see why.

  “Arguing isn’t going to solve anything,” her boyfriend defends her. “Now you all know.”

  “And that makes it better?” Jaycent snaps.

  “Babe, please …” Becca begs as she stands from the couch. “Just stop,” she cries.

  He looks over at her and then at his sister. He then tosses his hands up in the air and storms out of the living room. Moments later, we hear the front door slam.

  “I’ll go talk to him,” Ryder says softly.

  “No!” his father says as he too stands from the couch. “I’ll do it.”

  Rosie turns to Ryder and Becca. “You have to understand. My hands were tied,” she says as fresh tears run down her face. “And I couldn’t lose her …” She sniffs. “I just couldn’t …” She bows her head and places her face in her hands.

  “It’s okay,” Becca cries, running to her. “It’s gonna be okay,” she assures her, and I look over at Ryder as he watches them together. A look of worry all over his face. When his eyes meet mine, I can tell he doesn’t share Becca’s confidence.

  **

  I hang the last piece of clothing up in Ryder’s, now our, closet and turn to see him standing at the door, staring at me. He wears a white t-shirt with a pair of blue jeans and running shoes. He looks just as good casual as he does in a suit. “You okay?” I ask.

  The meeting at Rosie’s didn’t go as planned. Jaycent ended up leaving. I don’t know what Timothy said to him, but it either pissed him off or scared him. And although I wanted to meet Maggie, Rosie felt that things needed to calm down before we got that chance. We all agreed.

  He nods and leans his shoulder up against the doorframe. “So much is happening.”

  I give him a soft smile. “I know it seems like a lot, but they’re all good things.” He is taking over the company. He has a sister, and I’ve moved in with him.

  “Are they?” he asks softly before his eyes look around his closet at all my clothes on the right side—my side.

  The smile drops off my face. “If it’s too much right now, I understand,” I tell him as my chest tightens at my words.

  He looks back at me and frowns. I gesture to my clothes. “Me moving in. I understand if you want to put it off now—”