Death Wish

by Brooks, Harper A.

  Not sure if the danger was completely over, I sank to my knees beside Cole and gave his face a light tap.

  “Cole, wake up.” I slapped him again, a little harder this time, and his eyes fluttered open. The same cool blue color I was used to.

  “J-Jade?” he stammered then groaned. “Oh shit, my head.” He rubbed the back of his head and looked at his palm, no longer glowing with fire but now wet with blood.

  “Oh, sorry about that. But you went full evil on me,” I said.

  “I did?” For the first time, there was genuine dread on his face. “Did I hurt anyone?”

  “Just a couple of pissed off Halflings.”

  He glanced around. “Where did they go?”

  “Hopefully back to whichever Hell they crawled out of, never to return.”

  “How…?”

  I waved my hand at him. “Magic light fingers again.”

  “Ah.” That’s when he noticed the glass all around him from his shattered window. He looked up and cursed.

  “Sorry about that. That was me, too.”

  He grabbed the side mirror and tried to haul himself up to stand.

  It must have taken a second for my words to register, but when they did, his eyes widened. “Wait. You? How?”

  Articulate, wasn’t he?

  “Would you be surprised if I told you I have no idea?” I said.

  His gaze fell to my hand, still gripping his gun. An ugly-looking burn mark, pink and raised, wrapped around my wrist from where he had grabbed me. My other arm, which thumped and throbbed like it had a heartbeat, hung lifelessly at my side. Blood dripped from the Halfling’s claw gashes.

  He gasped. “You’re bleeding.”

  “A lot.”

  “You’re…solid?”

  “I-I think so.”

  “How? Why?”

  I blew out a breath. “You keep asking me questions I can’t answer. I have no idea. It just…happened.”

  “Is this a reaper thing?”

  What did he think? We were given some kind of textbook on these things after death with all the information I could ever need and tested on it? Reaper 101 or Reaping for Dummies? That’s not how this worked.

  “It’s never happened to me before,” I explained. “I am going through it at the same time as you are.”

  He scratched his chin in thought. “Does this mean you’re alive now?”

  I paused, my heartbeat speeding up. But was it really beating this time or just mimicking an action it remembered from a past life?

  Staring at my arm, still throbbing and bleeding, I marveled at what I was feeling and seeing. The pain was more intense than anything I had experienced in the last year. And the blood—I couldn’t remember the last time I had seen blood, my own blood, coming anywhere from my body.

  I was aware Cole was staring at me, saying nothing, but I didn’t care how stupid I looked. The more I studied my cut-up forearm, my burned wrist, and the gun still firmly in my grasp, the more hope bubbled up, even though my common sense said there was no way. What I was seeing and feeling—it had to be in my head.

  I drew in a deep breath, filling my lungs to the point of pain with actual warm, morning air, and then released it too fast, choking a little at the end from the unfamiliarity of it.

  As I sputtered and struggled to suck in another breath, I couldn’t help but smile.

  Could it be true?

  Was it even possible?

  Could I really be...alive?

  I didn’t have time to ponder the question long enough because the hot barrel of a gun singed the skin on the back of my neck. At the same time, Wyatt’s gruff voice barked, “Don’t move or I’ll blow your head off your shoulders.”

  The sting of the overused gun—I felt it. It hurt, like someone stabbing my neck with a poker that had been lying in a burning fire.

  It was real, and I felt it.

  But again, I didn’t have time to revel in it because then came the sudden severity of the situation crashing down on me. Wyatt could see me. He thought I was a threat because he didn’t know who I was. And he was about to blow my head off.

  “Wyatt… I know this all seems weird now, but I’m not one of those Halflings.”

  He jabbed me again with the barrel, making me wince. “How do you know my name? Who the fuck are you?”

  “Whoa.” Cole pushed himself off the Jeep, hands up. “Put the gun down, Wyatt. She’s a friend of mine.”

  The gun left my skin, and from the corner of my eye, I could see it now hovering over my shoulder, pointed at Cole. “And who the fuck are you? Or what are you, I should say.”

  Oh shit. He must have seen Cole use his Hellfire.

  “All this time you’ve been one—one of those things? A demon?”

  “Yes and no. Wyatt, please. You have to let me explain.” Cole’s calm voice and demeanor were way better than my own. My body was shaking, and I couldn’t seem to make it stop.

  “All this time…” A bit of disappointment leached into Wyatt’s tone, but it was quickly replaced with anger. “All this time! I let you in my home! You played me!”

  The gun’s safety clicked off.

  Would I be able to disarm him faster than he could fire the thing? Time to check my skills.

  I whipped my elbow up, hitting the gun’s barrel into the air at the same time the loud boom sounded and a plume of smoke exploded from the end. Startled, he let go of the weapon—better for me because I didn’t want to hit him to make him drop it. He was still an old man after all. A ruthless and persistent old man, but one nonetheless.

  When I snatched the gun before it reached the floor and dispelled the empty shells in one swift motion, Wyatt stumbled back, eyes wide. I could hear Cole’s “Wow” from behind me.

  I grinned. Whoever I was while alive, I must have been interesting. Maybe I was part of the S.W.A.T. team or a ninja.

  Glancing over my shoulder at Cole, I said, “I told you I could fight. But no, you wanted to leave it to the boys, right?”

  A smile lifted his mouth. “Feel free to prove me wrong again in the future.”

  I’d have to remember that.

  The clatter of the trailer’s door opening had us all turning that way.

  “Pop!” Sean was on the porch, looking relieved to see us all alive and the Halfling creatures gone. “Jesus Christ, Pop! I can’t keep doing this! I’ll have a heart attack before I’m thirty.”

  I held out the shotgun for Wyatt to take. “Let’s go back inside, and we can talk this out. Figure out what’s going on.”

  Wyatt’s gaze danced between me, Cole, and the gun, as if he were debating which would be the best option. He did nothing else for a long moment, but then, he reached out hesitantly and wrapped his fingers around the barrel.

  “I would suggest not trying to shoot me again,” I said with a smile, but it fell the moment I realized how intimidating I may have looked. I quickly added, “Let’s just go inside before those things come back.”

  Wyatt nodded, and to my surprise, made no move to reload the gun or shoot us. We all walked up the porch and went back inside. Immediately, Wyatt pointed to the armchair and gave Cole a hard look.

  “Sit,” he said. “You owe me answers.”

  Cole threw me a sympathetic look and then stepped over the many boxes and papers to the armchair in front of the desk.

  Behind me, Sean locked the door. “Pop, what’s going on?”

  “Shut it, Sean. It seems our old friend hasn’t been completely honest with us all these years.”

  When Cole tried to shift himself in the ripped chair, his body didn’t move. It was as if he were pinned to the seat by an invisible force. A spray-painted circle with obscure symbols marked the carpeting under the chair.

  Some kind of magic binding Cole to his spot?

  I moved toward him, but his gaze snapped to me in warning.

  “It’s a demon trap,” he explained to me. “Meant to keep demons confined to one place.”

  No wonder
he wanted me to avoid the other spots like the one on the rug. Even though other symbols sprawled across the floor, who knew what they were capable of—what any of these other weird squiggles and loops across all the boarded windows and wallpaper were capable of. Hopefully they were just for protection and nothing painful. Like sending someone straight to a Hell dimension.

  “So, it’s true. You are one of those…those things,” Wyatt spit.

  Cole shook his head. “I have demon blood in me, yes. But I am not a full-blood. I’m a half—”

  “A Halfling,” Wyatt finished.

  He grunted. “No, I’m not.”

  “He’s still before the full corruption,” I said, making Wyatt’s furious glare whirl on me. I’m sure Cole didn’t need my help with the explanation. I certainly didn’t know him any more than these humans did, but I couldn’t help myself from wanting to help him a bit.

  “Do you have the Hellfire?” Wyatt asked, his hand tightening on the gun. “Is that what I saw before?”

  Sean’s breath caught, as if he couldn’t believe it. “No way, Pop. He’s saved our skins too many times. A demon wouldn’t. That doesn’t make sense.”

  Cole glanced away, ashamed. “I do have the Hellfire. But I work very hard not to use it.”

  “Impossible.” Wyatt wasn’t having it.

  “I’ve lasted this long without going full Halfling minion, haven’t I?” Cole said. “Those creatures outside… They aren’t me.”

  “You’ll get corrupted. They always do.”

  Cole’s expression hardened. Determined. “I prefer guns.”

  Wyatt didn’t look convinced. “All your interest in finding Xaver makes sense now.”

  Cole tried moving again in the chair, seeming uncomfortable.

  When all his pulling and tugging didn’t work and he was still stuck in place, he sighed heavily. “I need the cure. To save Jade’s friend…and myself.”

  There it was. His motivation for helping me. The truth behind it all.

  I didn’t know why it hurt to hear, but it did. Maybe I was madder at myself for not seeing it sooner. In hindsight, it was the obvious answer to why he would be going through so much to find Kay a solution.

  He didn’t want to help Kay. He wanted to help himself.

  He was using me.

  Fury bubbled up from somewhere deep within. For him and my own stupidity.

  Sean’s calm voice snapped me back to the present. “We’ve been through every book and scroll. There is no cure. We’ve told you this.”

  “There is one! There has to be,” Cole said, his blue eyes wild.

  He’d become obsessed. But did I blame him, really? Find a cure or become one of those disgusting shadow creatures? Yeah, I’d pick cure, too.

  That didn’t excuse him for trying to secretly use me to do it.

  “And who is she?” Wyatt snapped, gesturing my way.

  I hesitated. Guess it was my turn for the interrogation.

  “Another one of your demon pals?”

  “Does she look like one? Come on, Wyatt. Don’t be an idiot.”

  “She was in the trailer when I got here. I saw her…” Sean rubbed his shoulder nervously. “She just appeared. Materialized out of thin air. The wards didn’t work on her.”

  Wyatt turned back to Cole. “Was she here the entire time? Why couldn’t I see her? Is this a trick?”

  I cleared my throat. Nothing like being talked about as if I weren’t right here in the room. “Can I explain this part? I mean, it does pertain to me, and I am still here. I’d like to be included in this conversation.”

  Cole’s knitted brows and pinched mouth said he didn’t think that was a good idea, but I ignored him.

  “My name is Jade Blackwell. At least I think it is anyway.” Why did I even say that last bit? I wasn’t going to go into the specifics of why I wasn’t sure who I was. I would just confuse them even more. After clearing my throat again, I continued, “I’m a reaper. Meaning I’m not alive.” Again, no magical celestial censor obscured my words, so I guessed I was still free to talk about the spirit world.

  “We have spirit wards written around the house, too. It should have repelled you,” Wyatt shot back. “You’re lying.”

  “I don’t know why they didn’t,” I said honestly. “But things are a little more complicated than even that. Things in the spirit world are a bit of a mess. And now, my friend Kay, a Medium, has been more than likely impregnated by this Xaver fellow, and I need to find this cure to save her life. While being attacked by these demon Halflings, I suddenly solidified, and you all can see me. I don’t know what that means exactly. It’s never happened before.”

  “Are you alive now?” Sean asked, seeming intrigued.

  “I honestly don’t know.” I held out my still bleeding arm. “That’s a good sign, isn’t it?”

  Wyatt, though, didn’t seem convinced. “And you and Cole are friends?”

  “More like working associates I would say.” But that title didn’t even fit, especially after finding out he’d been using Kay’s situation to his benefit. “I was assigned to kill him and help him cross over as part of my job, but it turned out he wasn’t even close to dead.”

  “Sounds like a setup,” Wyatt replied.

  “Or a mistake.”

  “Do they make many mistakes in the ghost world?”

  “Uh… Not usually.”

  Wyatt’s crinkled face crinkled up even more.

  “Like I said, things are a little crazy right now.”

  “A reaper…” Sean started, rubbing the dark stubble on his chin. “Is that what that emblem means? The one on your upper…”

  I glanced down at the tattoo on my upper left breast, over my heart, clearly visible with the simple tank top I wore. I’d always had it—at least for as long as I could remember. It was a symbol, kind of like the ones painted on the trailer walls, but it reminded me more of something out of a classic painting, with swooping curves and elegant swirls. More delicate than the harsh circles and straight lines in, say, the spirit door design. At least I thought so anyway.

  I figured it was something I had gotten during my life that had carried over to death. A rebellious teenage act, maybe? Or an invitation into a club? It was pretty—that could be why I had got it too. Just ‘cause. I never thought too much about it.

  “No. It’s just a tattoo,” I said.

  Sean pressed his lips together into a hard line. “I feel like I’ve seen this before.”

  My eyes widened. “What? Really?”

  He nodded. “I’ve seen it before…” He glanced at Wyatt. “Pop? Any ideas?”

  Finally, Wyatt put his shotgun down and leaned it against the wall. He walked over to me and looked me over with a scrutinizing eye. I stole a glance at Cole, who shrugged.

  After a long, tense moment of this older man staring at my chest, saying nothing, I interjected, “Look familiar to you, too?”

  “This part here—the main structure with the stem-like middle with the branches—looks very similar to the symbol for rebirth in the ancient Celilian texts.”

  “Three hundred BCE texts or first century AD?” Sean asked.

  For someone who hated his father’s involvement in the magical, Sean sure knew a lot. I guess after growing up with it around for so long, it wasn’t too surprising.

  “Three hundred BCE. And they are scrolls, not texts. There is a difference.”

  Sean snorted. Semantics he obviously didn’t care about.

  Sean turned back to staring at my chest and studying the tattoo. “I can see what you’re saying about the rebirth symbol, but there’s something else, though. I’ve seen this symbol before just like this. As it is. I know I have.”

  Wyatt squinted as he focused on the tattoo. He hovered his finger over my skin without touching and outlined the more complex part of the tattoo, near the middle. Even though he didn’t touch me, I could have sworn my skin tingled around the thing. I shivered, disturbed by the feeling.

  “I d
on’t know, Sean,” Wyatt said. “I don’t think I’ve seen it before, and I’ve seen everything.”

  “What does it matter?” I said, placing my palm over it. I was growing tired of all these men staring at my goods. It was uncomfortable. “I’m sure it was just something I did before I died. Maybe there was a discount off tattoos at the shop I had gone to or something.”

  “You don’t remember?” Sean asked, surprised.

  I shook my head. “I don’t remember anything from before my death.”

  Sean hesitated, looking suddenly sad. “Is it like that for everyone that passes?”

  Was he thinking of someone in particular? From the sorrow clinging to his gaze, it seemed that way. I knew that look well enough to recognize it. Sean had lost someone he loved dearly.

  Hopefully I could reassure him a little.

  “No, just me,” I replied. “Well, just reapers really. We have our memory stripped. It makes our jobs easier.”

  Relief washed over his face instantly. “That makes sense.” Then he gave me a shy smile. “A reaper, huh? That’s probably one of the few supernaturals Pop doesn’t have many books on. How would you feel about us picking your brain? I would like to find out more about the afterlife.”

  “It’s not all peaches and cream. Believe me.”

  “Oh, really?” Concern passed over his expression again.

  “Not like that. It’s mostly because it’s boring.” I sighed. “Like when people retire… Things get repetitive. No excitement because there’s no challenge. Everything is blissfully mediocre. Most people like it, but me? Not so much. Even with my job, things get monotonous.”

  “Ah…” Sean rubbed his chin again. “I’d love to hear more. Maybe we—”

  “I hate to interrupt,” Cole threw in. “But if Jade’s friend is really pregnant by Xaver, then we are on a deadline, and I’m still stuck in this trap. Can someone let me out of this thing, please?”

  Wyatt and Sean exchanged looks. They didn’t know if they could trust him, and honestly, I wasn’t sure either. I’d only known the guy for a day, and I was finding out more things every minute. I couldn’t even vouch for him.

  “Guys, it’s me. I’ve known you for years,” Cole said, seeming to grow desperate. “Come on, Jade. Back me up here.”