White Lies and Promises

by Ally Hayes

  “They shouldn’t,” Brianna joked.

  “I know, right? It’s going to be awesome, though. Jackie, you are coming?”

  “I don’t know. Matt and I have plans.”

  “You two are so cute. I really do think you’ll be together forever. He’s going to be one of us now. Have him come tomorrow night.”

  “Thanks, I’ll see what I can do.”

  That night, Matt and Jackie hung out at Joey’s girlfriend’s apartment. Theresa was attending a small women’s college trying to earn her teaching degree and had found two roommates and a typical college-town apartment. Joey was saving up by living at home and commuting to school. To everyone’s surprise, the high school couple had stayed together and seemed to remain that way.

  After they spent an appropriate period of socializing, Matt and Jackie excused themselves for some alone time. Neither could get enough of the other and knew how short the visit would be, so they made the most of their time. Before re-emerging to join the others out in the kitchen, they stayed cuddled up talking.

  “I hate to have to go back,” Matt told her.

  “It’s only a few weeks until Christmas break, and a nice long one at that,” she reassured herself as much as him.

  “Not for me—basketball. I have to go back on the twenty-eighth. I checked the paperwork this time.”

  “Oh, no, New Year’s Eve?”

  “We’ve got an away game. It’s okay, though. We’ve been apart before on that night. Your parents will probably whisk you away skiing or to a tropical paradise to get away from me anyway.”

  “I doubt it this year.” She stopped there, not wanting to discuss her parents’ troubles.

  “Can I come to Sydney’s with you tomorrow night?” Matt surprised her by asking.

  “Really?” She had planned to ask him, assuming he would pass. Never did she think he’d actually ask to go.

  “Sure, why not? We should probably include Joey and Theresa, though. You know, if you think that would be okay.”

  “Great!” Jackie kissed him one last time. She had always thought it would be difficult to bring the two groups together and was amazed to find out how easy Matt was making this for her.

  She drove over early to Sydney’s house to help her and Brianna set up, or put away, to be more precise. They carried various crystal, china, and other valuables up to her parents’ bedroom which they planned to lock shortly thereafter. Rugs were rolled up—no spills allowed on the Persians—and furniture was draped with sheets. Sydney was dumb enough to throw a party at her family’s estate but just smart enough to prepare for the drunken nineteen year olds.

  They arrived in groups and immediately gathered around the kitchen island. Eventually, a portion ventured into the family room where the stereo was re-adjusted every few songs as if a war of musical tastes was going on. Sydney wandered around reminding everyone to go out to the back deck if they wanted to smoke, Brianna played bartender, and Jackie stood guard in the kitchen while refilling bowls of chips and pretzels.

  Matt, Joey, and Theresa arrived about an hour into the party. They didn’t know very many people there as it was mainly Crestwood Prep alumni. Most seemed to be discussing majors, roommates, and vacation plans.

  “Let’s go find Jackie,” Matt suggested.

  “Let’s go find beer,” Joey corrected. He steered the threesome through the crowd. Both boys found what they were looking for in the kitchen.

  Not one for public displays of affection, Matt simply got as close to Jackie as possible without actually touching. Conversely, Joey and Theresa were practically on top of each other and didn’t seem to care.

  Jackie introduced them to the others who were standing around—no one seemed to care.

  “What, no card games?” Joey asked.

  “There’s Anchorman in the dining room,” Brianna offered, and turned to Sydney. “Don’t worry, I covered the table as soon as I saw the pitchers come out.”

  Joey and Theresa took off in the direction of the game room. Matt stayed by Jackie’s side, seeing she felt obligated to keep a watch on things.

  “Thanks.” She bumped his hip with hers.

  “Anytime,” he answered and gave her cheek a quick peck.

  A new group moved into the kitchen, and Matt noted right away they were arrogant prep boys—the kind he and his friends mocked. The leader of the polo pack addressed Jackie without hesitation.

  “Hamilton, honey, how’ve you been?” He hugged her with unnecessary enthusiasm, purely for the audience.

  “Fine, thanks, Peter,” Jackie simply answered. She shook inside.

  “Peter Stockton,” he said, extending his hand to Matt.

  “Matt Foster, nice to meet you.”

  “It is, isn’t it?” Peter retorted to the delight and squeal of laughter from his cronies. He walked off with a smug strut.

  “Asshole,” Matt muttered.

  “Yes, he is,” Jackie agreed.

  An hour and two beers later, Matt lined up at the one bathroom Sydney had left unlocked. Peter ended up behind him.

  “We meet again.”

  Matt ignored him. Peter was not one to tolerate not being acknowledged.

  “Nice little piece of ass there, huh?”

  Turning on his heels, Matt faced him. “What did you just say?”

  “Jackie. I assume you’re here with her. Not too shabby in the sack, right?”

  “What!”

  “Oh, sorry. I guess you don’t know. Well, don’t worry, if the time comes, I taught her a few things. Oh, look, your turn in the potty.”

  As much as Matt wanted to punch him, he wanted more to believe this ass was being just that. He took his turn and went in search of Jackie—to say what, he wasn’t sure.

  She was surrounded by her girlfriends. He didn’t care.

  “Ran into a friend of yours.”

  “Oh, who?”

  “Peter the Great.”

  “Oh, him. Ignore him,” Jackie offered.

  “I’d like to, but what he had to say was a bit disturbing,” Matt tested her.

  “Oh my God,” was all she could say.

  “Then it’s true!” he yelled.

  “Matt, quiet down. Just listen.”

  “That prick? Are you telling me that not only didn’t you wait for me, but you did it with that scum?”

  “Matt, let’s go outside.”

  “No!”

  “Matt, please. Not everyone here needs to hear this,” Jackie pleaded.

  “Well, it seems I’m the last to know anyway!” Matt yelled at the same moment the stereo was turned off. “I’m sure all your friends know about you and Petey.” He spun around to face her friends who’d gathered. “Right, Brianna? She told you all about it, didn’t she?”

  Brianna interrupted, “No, Matt. No one knows anything. Let’s keep it that way before you say or do anything you’ll regret. Come on, let’s get you both outside.”

  “Wow, you’re an even better liar than I thought, Jackie. Didn’t even tell the girls. Maybe Peter wasn’t worth it.”

  “Okay, I have to ask you to leave now. No fights here,” Sydney implored, fearing Peter might intervene and cause a bigger commotion.

  Matt stormed out the front door. Jackie broke into sobs, hugged her two best friends, and went to face the music.

  “Matt, it’s not like you think,” she began.

  “Oh no? Tell me this, did you sleep with him before me?”

  Jackie nodded.

  “Then it’s exactly like I think. You lied, strung me along. Not only did you not wait, but you let me think you did.”

  “Matt, I was—am—so ashamed of myself. I’ve been lying to myself by not telling you. Can’t you see I love you so much that I have been too afraid of losing you? I just couldn’t let you know. For what it’s worth, you and I were not together at the time, but I still knew it was wrong. I regret it, it was wrong. He used me. He wanted to work for my father and get his approval. It was horrible, he’s horrible, wo
rse…I’m horrible.”

  “It doesn’t matter now. You can’t undo it. Don’t you see, if you had told me, I could’ve gotten past it, maybe. But allowing me to continue to think you’d waited? It’s like choosing to lie to me every day. I can’t do this.” Matt covered his face with his hands.

  “Don’t leave me. Please, Matt, we made it this far, and it’s working now even while we’re apart. That has to mean something. I understand if you need time to forgive me, but don’t just say it’s over.”

  “Jackie, you knew if I found out we’d be done. That’s why you didn’t tell me. You knew this would happen. You know it’s happening now. I’m the one who can’t believe it. I waited for you. I turned down sex that was practically forced on me, I let the guys make fun of me, that’s how much your promise meant to me.”

  Jackie had no response. It was over. There was nothing left for Matt to say or do besides leave.

  She had to make herself look presentable for brunch or lie and say she was sick. Lying hadn’t been working so well, so she took a scalding shower.

  “Drink too much last night?” Patty asked upon finally seeing her that morning.

  “I guess I’m still learning,” Jackie said since her mother didn’t seem too shocked.

  “We don’t have to go,” Patty offered.

  “Yes, we do!” Robert jingled his keys.

  Over eggs Benedict, Robert announced he had big news to share.

  Patty wrung her napkin under the table while trying to smile. Memories of Robert’s past surprises came rushing back. Now was when she wanted things to remain the same so she could make an announcement of her own. She needed some changes of her own.

  “First, I’m very excited about this, but I’m going to need all of your support on this one. I’ve accepted a bid to run for state Senate. It is going to be a lot of work, but this is an opportunity of a lifetime. I need to start campaigning right away.” Robert beamed and took a large swig of his Bloody Mary.

  ***

  They buckled back in after their last goodbye to their daughter. Jackie had assured them she would be fine, despite her present state and constant weeping on the drive back to school. When Patty had a chance to ask her quietly if Matt had done something, Jackie assured her mother that unfortunately, “it was all me this time,” and she was sure he would never forgive her.

  Alone on the car ride back to Westhaven, Robert cleared his throat and addressed his wife apprehensively.

  “It’s a long road ahead—the Senate that is. I really will need your assistance.”

  “You need my discretion,” Patty corrected.

  “Yes, that, too. Thank you.”

  “Don’t thank me yet. My days of being a pushover are finished. If you want me to be the supportive, happy, suit-wearing wife standing by your side, then you have to get rid of the whore.”

  “Patty,” Robert began, but the new Patty interrupted him.

  “It’s me or her at the podium.”

  PART TWO

  Chapter Fifteen

  Matt. Jackie.

  Patty couldn’t stand it another second. Ann had been tapping the eraser end of her pencil on the desk all morning. Patty’s dull headache had transitioned to a pounder an hour ago, but she had kept quiet and taken several Tylenol. Now she wondered if Ann was actually doing it to make Patty break the silence by vocalizing a complaint.

  They had spoken once this morning, briefly, as Patty unlocked the back door to the office. Ann had startled her—she hadn’t been expecting her that day.

  “Oh, Ann, you didn’t have to come in. You must be…” She hesitated as no words seemed appropriate. “I don’t know how you are, actually,” she confessed quietly.

  “I’m a wreck, but I’ve been up all night pacing the house. I just had to get out. I probably won’t be very productive, but I’m here.” Ann looked like she hadn’t been exaggerating about the lack of sleep. Clearly, her mind was elsewhere; she had miss-buttoned her blouse like a child.

  Patty simply nodded and opened the door for Ann to enter. They each went through their usual morning routine, the same one they had been performing for over three years now. Their computers were turned on and warmed up while they hung and stowed their belongings. Ann had started the coffee maker and listened to the voice mail messages, jotting down notes as she squeezed the receiver between her ear and shoulder. After some filing, she had run out of things to do by nine-thirty, and the pencil tapping began.

  Now Patty was worried about leaving Ann for her noon client appointment. As much as she wanted to leave the office, she felt guilty for abandoning her friend at this difficult time.

  “I have to go see about staging that open house soon.” Patty’s words caused Ann’s tapping to finally cease. And apparently break her silence.

  “I know, on Elm. The agent is Betsy Miller.”

  “So, I’ll be out for a while. If you want to put the machine on and go do whatever you need to get ready for, um, tomorrow, feel free.”

  “There’s nothing to do. It’s not like I’m going to get my hair or nails done. I didn’t even buy a new dress. Bill and I are just going to bring Matt to the courthouse at ten. It will all be over by ten-thirty. The girls aren’t even coming.”

  Ann’s words sent both women into tears. They had already shed some together and separately over what was about to happen tomorrow.

  Matt would be marrying Kristie Noland, a girl he barely knew save for one drunken night. One night that would change his life.

  He had already thought his life was ruined, which was why he was getting wasted and sleeping with a different girl almost every night since the injury. He had stopped going to classes and his work study job. He woke at noon, ate, took a nap, then began drinking around four in the afternoon—when he would have been at practice. The Huskies made the tournament, again. He started off with them but would not finish. The year before they reached the Elite Eight, and as he was merely a sophomore, there was a great buzz about what would be expected of him the next year.

  Now there would be no next year. Next year, his junior year, had arrived, and the team had gone on without him after his injury. They had made it again, and he was thrilled for the national exposure. In round one against an obscure southern Cinderella-type team, he was allowed ample playing time and made the most of it. Knowing he would be seen on national television, he gave it his all and then some. This was what he had dreamed of for years while shooting hoops in the driveway. He envisioned being on all the postgame clips, and he was. Just not for the reason he hoped. He did not get MVP; he made the DL. With ten minutes left and a twenty-seven-point lead, Matt Foster let it all out and went for a twisting lay-up only to come crashing down at an unnatural angle, shattering his ankle and his career.

  Surgery was awful, but the drugs were great. With a foot full of screws, pins, and plates, he was able to convince the doctors to keep the narcotics going for a bit longer than necessary. By the time they denied him any more refills, he was hooked on the numbness and turned to anything he could get his hands on…and eventually settled on alcohol.

  The girls came first, the blackouts later. He discovered quite a few of the girls had prescriptions for migraines or bad cramps, and those were the girls he would call back, but mostly his door became the revolving type.

  By the end of April, he was informed he would have to repeat the semester to keep his scholarship. At the beginning of May, he was told he would always limp—thanks to the artificial pieces and parts and a shortening of tendons—and would most likely never be able to play basketball again. A week after that, he received a phone call.

  “Dude, wake up. Some chick for you.” Matt’s roommate was standing over him on the couch where he had landed sometime earlier.

  “Take a message,” Matt grumbled.

  “She’s crying,” Jim answered and left the cordless next to Matt’s head and walked out.

  Matt sat up. Jackie? No. He knew from his mom that she was in Europe. Also, he had asked h
im mom to make sure Patty did not tell her about the injury; he didn’t want her pity from across the ocean. They hadn’t spoken in two and a half years. Sympathy would not be the reason to reconnect. Still, it might be her. He cleared his throat and answered.

  “Hello?”

  “Matt?” It wasn’t Jackie.

  “Yeah?”

  “Matt, this is Kristie.”

  “Oh, um, Kristie?” He tried to sound sure of himself, but he couldn’t picture her. He didn’t recognize the voice either.

  “Oh, God, you don’t even remember! Jen’s friend, you know. The party at Sigma?”

  “Right! What’s up?” Matt vaguely remembered the party—at least walking in.

  “Do you remember that night?” she asked accusingly.

  “Sure, we had fun.” He figured it was a safe assumption.

  “I’m pregnant.”

  Now it was the beginning of June. Kristie had just finished her exams. Matt had moved back home weeks before. Bill dropped everything and had done his best to help his son detox, having done it himself two years prior. He was trying to be the dad his son needed now, as he hadn’t been before, and assisted him in preparing for the dramatic change in life plans Matt now faced. Tomorrow, under the insistence of Mr. Noland, Matt and Kristie would be getting married and moving to tiny house in New Jersey. Tomorrow, Jackie would be returning from junior year abroad, oblivious.

  ***

  The year away had been good for Jackie. She smiled contently as she gazed out the miniscule window of the enormous seven-forty-seven. It had been good for her—culturally enriching, educational, and liberating.

  It had been good for her family as well. Her parents could and did move on in her absence. Not that they had actually separated, but they had created a physical distance which seemed to be working. They had been to visit, separately. They didn’t even bother with excuses, and for this she was glad; it was progress. They were respecting her as the adult she now was at twenty-one. Celebrated less ceremoniously than had she been in the states, but it was fun and momentous nonetheless.