Riven: Young Adult Fantasy Novel (My Myth Trilogy Book 1)

by Jane Alvey Harris

  She gazes back for a moment before wavering and glancing away. She straightens the string of pearls at her neck and wipes her hands on her skirt.

  “None of what you said makes any sense,” I breathe.

  Her eyes flicker back to mine. “Watch your tone, young lady.”

  “Why?” I take a step closer. “You said you hit me because you didn’t want me to get hurt. News Flash: getting hit hurts.”

  Margaret turns her back to me. “That was nothing. Trust me, they’ll hurt you a lot worse.”

  “Boys? How? I liked kissing Gabe. I wouldn’t have done it if I hadn’t liked it. It felt good.”

  “I’m sure it did,” she smirks. “Just wait until he starts asking for more. Until he pushes a little harder. You want to please him, so you say yes. You don’t want to lose him because he makes you feel good, so you do what he asks. What about then?”

  “I’m in charge of my own body. I do what I want when I want. No one can make me do anything I don’t want to do, period.”

  “I seem to remember things a little differently.” She laughs. It isn’t a pretty sound. “Fine. Do it your way, if you’re so smart. But mark my words. If you don’t listen to what I say you’ll get hurt again. And the only thing we’ll be able to do when that happens is what we’ve done for years and years. I guess some things never change.”

  She sits on the fallen trunk now. Wisps of hair escape the bun at her neck; a twig sticks to her skirt. I wait for her to continue, but her mouth has compressed into a small rigid line.

  “What? What have we done for years and years?”

  She puts her thumb and index finger to her lips and twists, then motions throwing something over her shoulder.

  I’m dizzy.

  I know what that was…with her fingers and her lips. She was locking up secrets and throwing away the key.

  This is another freaky part from Aidan’s creepy dream. There was a lock and key in the second box. I slipped them into the pocket of my skirt…a skirt that was just like Margaret’s…

  Homework. I suddenly remember I have homework. I’m supposed to talk to Hannah and Margaret and find out what they want. I already know what Hannah wants. She wants me to pretend that every hurt and problem in my life can be solved with Magic. She wants me to escape to the First Realm and live with her forever and forget whatever happened in the past. That’s why the first box in Aidan’s dream had a book of the First Realm inside.

  And now I know what critical Margaret wants, too. She wants to stop me from getting hurt. Stop me from making mistakes. She wants me to keep all the bad things I’ve done locked away. That’s why there was a lock and key in the second box.

  I’m supposed to make peace with Hannah and Margaret. I’m supposed to find my True Voice. What if…? Could my True Voice be in the third box?

  Except I don’t know where the third box is, and how am I supposed to open the lid? It’s sealed shut?

  First things first.

  I sit down next to Margaret and wrap my arms around her neck. “I’m sorry I was so rude. I didn’t understand. But now I know you’re trying to protect me the only way you know how.”

  She leans against me for a long moment before pulling back and wiping at her cheeks. This close, I notice how bent and tired she is.

  “I love you Margaret. You’re important to me. I promise I’ll always listen and consider the things you say. I won’t push you away. But I’m not seven anymore.”

  “I know you aren’t Emily. It’s easy to forget. You’re growing up so fast. Thank you,” she stands. “I love you too.”

  Alone now in the grove the events of the morning press in. Pent up energy and emotions threaten to overwhelm me. Maybe I shouldn’t have kissed Gabe. Maybe I shouldn’t have flirted with Kaillen. I’ll definitely need to sort this out, but right now hormones and boys are the least of my problems.

  The Fae are packing right now to go to the Doorway tomorrow where I’m supposed to submit to Drake so he can guide me in breaking the Seal and then scorch out the power in my freak-wings so the kids and I can go home. No biggie.

  Sitting on the fallen tree I slump hard onto my white-knuckled fists with my stomach, forcing a harsh groan from my tight throat. I might explode.

  I rake my fingers through my hair, pulling out the ridiculous flowers. My skin itches. This stupid gown is driving me mad. I want to tear it to shreds, but that’s not an option since I’m absolutely done traipsing around naked in the forest.

  Did those maidens bewitch the gown while they were forcing me into it? The glimmering material constricts, like it’s trying to suffocate me.

  Is this a psychotic break? Am I having another psychotic break?

  “Hey, Ava!” I shout out loud to the White Faerie. “I’m throwing an ‘experiencing my emotions party’ and you’re invited!”

  Her reply sparkles immediately in my ear. No offense, but your party sucks.

  Caught off guard, I laugh. “I’ll lose my mind if I don’t get out of this dress. Like, now.”

  Then change it, If you don’t like what you’re wearing, use Blaze to change it, like you did before. You’re Magic, remember?

  “I only made it less sheer before! How’s that going to help?”

  Shhhhh. It will be easier if you relax. Look.

  An image appears in my mind of that yoga pose...I don’t know what it’s called…the one where you do crisscross-applesauce with one ankle over the other leg and sit up tall.

  I’ll try anything. I hike the hem of my dress up almost to my bum. Sitting down cross-legged in the dirt I place my right ankle over my left thigh and rest my palms face up on my knees.

  Sporadic chatter from a squirrel and the soft chirp of a Meadow Lark are the only sounds interrupting the stillness of the grove. Not even Xander or Twist is nearby.

  I remember from a section in phys. ed. last spring that yoga is about being ‘present’. It’s about ‘gentle strength’. I can’t force the pent-up anxiety away from me, but if I concentrate on my breath I might be able to free it.

  The pain from the murderous dress recedes as I follow my breath in and out. My shoulders ease down from where they’d bunched up by my ears. My calf and feet muscles go soft. I deepen each breath like this is the only moment I have to live in this body.

  Little by little I unclench. My blood slows.

  With tiny hands I probe at the barrier separating my wings from my body, pushing, searching for a weak point. It pushes back.

  I need to open my Inner Eye so I can See what I’m dealing with in there. But how? No one’s taught me how to do that yet.

  Use your Mind’s Eye.

  “I thought the Mind’s Eye was a guy thing for Seeing molecules in nature! How will that help me See my what’s blocking up my wings inside my body?”

  Are you really going to argue with me? I’m the White Faerie!” Her silver laughter ricochets through my ear.

  I grin in spite of myself.

  Open your Mind’s Eye. I want to show you something.

  Thirty-One

  What have I got to lose? I focus on Drake’s medallion, visualizing a speck floating at its center. An ember ignites, warming the sphere from within.

  I inhale the golden light from the crystal. My Mind’s Eye awakens easily now, bathing me in light. I relish this dance of distinct particles spinning along the outer reaches of my awareness.

  Fixing my attention on my shoulder blades, I seek the barrier that binds the power in my wings.

  There is none. These wings extend from my shoulder blades the same way my arms extend from my torso and my fingers from my hand. Blood flows back and forth between torso and wings, fascia seams and binds wings to torso, sinew gives them motion.

  “I told you, Ava! My Mind’s Eye can’t See any barrier. My yoga pose sags, the dress cuts off circulation in my arms. “My Eyes mu
st be broken.”

  They aren’t broken. Think about what you’ve learned for a minute. If you can’t See the barrier with your Mind’s Eye, what does that mean?

  “That it doesn’t exist…?” DUH.

  You know better than anyone that just because you can’t See something doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist or that it doesn’t have power.

  “Does it mean it isn’t physical?” An utterly profound idea takes shape in my brain... “It means it’s intangible…?”

  Now you’re getting it. If it isn’t physical or tangible, what else could it be?

  I think I know. “Quince said their Connections are physical and emotional…” Fresh excitement lengthens my spine. “That’s it, isn’t it? I can’t See it with my Mind’s Eye because the barrier is emotional not physical!”

  My Inner Eye spills opens.

  If Seeing with my Mind’s Eye is like peering through an über-strong microscope, Seeing with my Inner Eye is like looking at the sun through a prism. Light refracts into a million rainbow bits, each uniquely holographic and crystal clear.

  I can see it now…the barrier blocking the power in my wings. Layers and layers of dense interlocking mesh create a wall of thick blackness I can’t penetrate. A wave of dread hits me when I poke along the edges.

  It’s made of fear.

  “Ava, there’s no way I can get past that. How did I ever get any energy out of my wings before?”

  You were angry and humiliated. And no wonder.

  “Now what am I going to do?”

  There’s no pressure. It’s just an itchy dress.

  “It’s trying to kill me!”

  Shhhh. You are smart, you are strong, you are brave. Be kind to yourself.

  As the words of her mantra encircle me, the fibers of doubt and fear in the barrier relax. Small chinks appear in the knit of the mesh.

  Just go slow. Open your heart. Of course you’re nervous! But Emily, this is who you are. Trust yourself. I do.

  The mesh loosens even more.

  Beams of energy seep through the gaps from my wings into my body. I hold my breath—resisting the power—trying to control it. The fibers constrict.

  You can do this.

  I focus on inhaling and exhaling.

  Remember the ‘experiencing your emotions party’? Just sit and experience. Emotions aren’t bad and they can’t hurt you, though some can be very uncomfortable. Always remember that you are more than your emotions. I’m here for you.

  The flow of power scalds white-hot. The pain becomes worse…hotter as I start to panic. “What if I burn up?”

  You won’t. Trust yourself. Think of something cool and refreshing. Think of this…

  A memory of the glade surfaces. I relive the first touch of wintery water as I step into the waterfall pond. My ankles ache. Every instinct shouts: it’s too cold! Jump out!

  “Wait,” I speak to the Emily in the glade. “Wait! This isn’t pain. It doesn’t hurt. It’s just unknown so it’s scary.”

  I smile. I remember hearing those words in my head when I first stepped into the pool. At the time I thought it was the White Faerie speaking, but it was really me all along!

  I concentrate on the Emily in the glade wading deeper into the pond; I’m so glad we didn’t jump out.

  Mist from the falls surrounds me…I’m up to my thighs in the pool, now my hips. As the cold water rises to my belly and then my breasts I experience a brisk moment of complete invigoration. My breath comes in gasps, not from fear but from total release. Without hesitation I sink beneath the water…

  …and with upturned hands resting gently on my knees in my yoga pose I open my fingers letting fear stream out. It floats away in concentric rings, widening, expanding, losing vibration, losing force.

  The barrier is gone. Power flows fluidly throughout my whole body.

  This feels good…I’m awake and so alive.

  Blaze looks very much the way it sounds, like many long-stranded whip-thin tongues of fire ranging across every color in the spectrum. Flames lick through my limbs.

  Pulsing orbs congregate up and down my center. The strongest glows directly in the middle of my chest. I count three below and three above my heart, spaced at uneven intervals from my crown to the base of my spine.

  Your chakras are beautiful, Emily.

  My chakras. I nudge them. They flicker in response. I twist them so they flow in a dovetail pattern weaving in and out of each other, spreading back and forth up and down my arms and legs. I make the strands spiral around the orbs one after the other. I change their color by braiding different ribbons together and combining strands to make them thicker. I don’t have a clue what it means but it’s electric. And all I have to do to make it happen is Intend it.

  I envision my tank top and shorts settling on my body in place of the killer eveningwear. Instantly I’m back in the clothes I put on this morning.

  The tiniest sound, like the soft cry of a child, alerts me that I’m not alone in the grove anymore.

  Quince stands at the tree line with Xander hovering near her shoulder. “Emily,” she murmurs. “You’re radiant.”

  I smile, pleased and shy.

  Quince cradles a box in her arms. It’s about a foot square and made of thick wavy-warped glass crisscrossed by runes. It looks heavy. Something small twinkles inside but the glass itself is so distorted by trapped bubbles, I can’t tell what it is.

  Anticipation thumps a loud heavy rhythm in my ears.

  The third box.

  Quince sits on the ground across from me in my yoga pose, placing the crystal box on the ground between us. It’s exactly the way I remember it from Aidan’s dream except for one thing…the lock is missing.

  “Minutes ago it started…singing,” Quince says, reverent. “The lock. It was steel. It… burnt to ash.” She lifts the lid. “She wouldn’t speak a word until I promised to bring her here.”

  Thirty-Two

  My whole body chants her name. “Ava.”

  “Hello, Sister.” She unfolds herself gracefully, standing in her crystal prison.

  Chills bloom everywhere because seeing her speak these two words, I know: Ava The White Faerie is my True Voice.

  But something is different from the night I saw Ava transform from a silver butterfly and drop like a stone to the counter in Mom’s bathroom…

  “Ava? Where are your wings? Who locked you in the box?”

  She stands. “May I shelter in your hand?”

  Sparkles dance over her skin as she steps from the box onto my outstretched palm. I have to shield my eyes. The light emanating from Ava’s body makes it hurt to look at her directly. Even peeking through my fingers I’m dazzled. She shines too bright.

  “Come closer and I’ll tell you all about my wings and the box.”

  I lean closer but have to shut my eyes tight.

  She giggles. “Close your Mind’s Eye, Silly!”

  My Mind’s Eye! I forgot it was still open. Focusing inward I See the pinprick of light pulsing in my chest. Exhaling, I return it to the medallion.

  “Can you look at me now?” Ava teases.

  She still gleams, but it doesn’t fry my retinas. The interface of our fabulously thick ribbon of Connection had been too much for my Keen vision. It’s unlike any other bond I have with anyone else, much thicker even than my attachments to Jacob, Aidan, and Claire. It’s a broad luminous rope fastening an ocean liner to its anchor.

  Ava gathers locks of hair from either side of my face, pulling herself closer still. Releasing and smoothing one fistful, she strokes my cheek with her tiny poised hand. “Sister, I know that you’re strong. Now you See that you must hope and be brave, for both of us.”

  “I took your wings, didn’t I?”

  “When you absorbed your mother’s wings, you pulled too hard. You took mine, too.”


  “I’m so sorry…”

  “Hush. I’m not.” There’s not an ounce of regret in her body.

  “Thank you, Ava,” I whisper. “Thank you for helping me, for listening when I was scared. For encouraging me.”

  “You’re welcome, Sister.”

  “Did I lock you up in the box, too?”

  “Not you. The Gray Man.”

  “I’ll find him, Ava. I’ll make Margaret and Hannah tell me where they put him. I swear he’ll never hurt you again…”

  “Shhhh. Sister. You don’t understand. His methods are violent and unsavory, yes, but he was only trying to protect us.”

  “Protect us?”

  “He’s always been your strongest knight. You set him to guard the borders between our Realms when the psychiatrist told you it was bad to pretend and you believed him. It can be dangerous to meet your voices, Emily. It’s not normally allowed. But we had to break the rules. We need each other right now.”

  “How does locking you up in a box protect you? Protect you from whom?”

  “We don’t just share a physical and emotional Connection any longer, Sister. You and I share actual emotions. When you took my wings my boundaries disappeared. I have no protection from your sensory input any longer.”

  The Gray Man was protecting Ava from me.

  “Ava, I had no idea…”

  “Sister, I’m amazed how quickly you’ve learned to See through your Eyes. Are you able to draw power from the weapons as well?”

  “Drake helped me channel through them for a couple seconds yesterday, but it was scary as hell.”

  Ava’s expression turns grave. “You must try again, Emily. You must try now. Alone.”

  “Is this necessary, Ava?” Quince asks. “The maidens will work with her this evening to solidify the process in her mind, but Drake will be there to guide her with the weapons tomorrow. He’ll help her draw enough power, hold the flow, and modulate her weaving to break the Seal. Perhaps it would be best if she rests this afternoon.”

  “Drake will hold your flow?” Ava asks.

  “Yes, and scorch out my Blaze. If I submit to him he’ll be able to deplete my wings so they’ll shrivel up and I can go home and live a normal life.”