Ghost Mortem: A Paranormal Cozy Mystery Romance (Ghost Detective Book 1)

by Jane Hinchey

  I placed my arm around her shoulder and guided her across the lawn and back to the gate adjoining the two backyards. She stood in the opening, her hand resting on the old wooden slats. I eyed it, betting this was Percy’s escape route. It looked old and rickety, as if a strong breeze would knock it off its hinges. It had a strange burn mark on one of the planks, and as I leaned forward to get a closer look Mrs. Hill’s hand covered it.

  “I do hope Ben is okay,” she said. “There was a bit of a fuss at his house last night. I nearly called the police.”

  I froze. “Oh?” I squeaked. I cast a glance back at the house. Ben had stayed inside while I’d walked Mrs. Hill back home.

  “Mmmm.” She nodded. “Some sort of altercation. I heard raised voices, and you know Ben. He’s not one to shout, so of course, when I heard such a ruckus I got up and peeked out the window.”

  “What time was this?”

  “Oh, quite late. Nearly ten thirty I think.”

  “Did you see anything?”

  “By the time I got my dressing gown on, the shouting had stopped. When I looked I could see Ben moving about in the kitchen.”

  “Did you see anyone else?”

  Mrs. Hill looked at me. “No, I didn’t. I watched for a little bit to see if I could see who Ben had been shouting at, but then I gave up and went back to bed. I thought maybe he’d been mad at Thor for something and was shouting at the cat.”

  If there was one thing I knew for sure, it was that Ben would never yell at his cat. He and Thor were tight. No, if Ben had been yelling at anyone, it was his killer.

  5

  “Someone was here! Last night!” I burst back inside, frowning when I caught Ben on his hands and knees. “What are you doing?”

  “Trying to move Thor’s bowl,” he grumbled, his tongue poking out in utter concentration as he ever so gently placed his fingers against the side of the bowl and pushed, only to have his hands disappear up to the knuckles.

  “Damn it,” he cursed, sitting back and resting his fists on his thighs. “Wait, what did you say?”

  “I said, Mrs. Hill heard shouting—from here—last night. Around ten thirty.”

  “Did she see anything?”

  I shook my head. “Nope. But it gives us a time frame, right? So we know you were…hurt…here. At around ten thirty. Whoever did it had to”—I coughed, clearing my throat—“dump your body. Then clean up.”

  “And you said you weren’t good at this,” he drawled, standing up.

  “She said after the shouting she saw someone moving around in the kitchen. She thought it was you.”

  “Only it wasn’t. I’d imagine the shouting stopped when I was killed. So whoever she saw was the killer.”

  “It has to be a man, then. Because she thought it was you.”

  “Is she a reliable witness though?” He was pacing now and I figured he was talking more to himself than to me. “She’s an old lady.”

  “Not that old,” I pointed out. “In her seventies, which isn’t old these days.”

  “How clearly could she see between our houses? And it was dark. How reliable is her statement?”

  “I couldn’t say. It may have been dark, but your kitchen light was on. There’s no way someone cleaned up with the lights off.”

  “Valid.” He nodded. “I checked my car while you were talking to Mrs. H. No blood.”

  “So whoever moved you used their own vehicle.” Risky. If it had been me I’d have used Ben’s vehicle and then torched it, destroying the evidence. Not that I’d ever considered murdering anyone, but you see it in the movies all the time. Dump the body, burn the car. Even better if you could make it look like the victim had been behind the wheel at the time.

  “I don’t think they used a vehicle at all.” Ben jolted me out of my thoughts.

  “Oh?”

  “Mrs. H. said there was shouting, so the killer was already worried about drawing undue attention. Nosy neighbors and all that. Hell of a risk to then drag my body out the front door.”

  “Good point,” I conceded. Mrs. H. had been on the lookout. She’d have seen if anything remotely looking like a body being stashed in a car had occurred out front of Ben’s house. “But then…where are you?” A shudder wracked me. “You’re not…here…are you? Hidden in the basement? And what about Thor? We thought he was outside, snoozing in the sun, but what if the killer...?” I couldn’t bear the thought that someone would kill an innocent feline.

  “Thor doesn’t like strangers. He would have hidden. Especially if there was shouting. And the stench of the bleach has probably kept him away. Relax, Fitz, I’m sure he’s fine.” He smiled widely. “Although your concern is touching.”

  “Shut up,” I grumbled. I waved my hand around. “Can you at least go and check that you’re not shoved in a wardrobe or cupboard somewhere? Please!”

  “Fine.” He disappeared. He either moved lightning fast now that he was a ghost, or he’d been bestowed with the power of teleportation, for as quickly as he’d disappeared, he returned.

  “Nothing. My body is not in this house.”

  I’d walked over to the sliding back door and was looking outside, trying to catch a glimpse of grey fur, surprised how worried I was about Ben’s darn cat. Ben’s house was at the end of the street, Mrs. Hill one side, woods the other. Perhaps Thor had a favorite place in the woods to sleep. As I pondered the million different hiding places one cat could feasibly have, another thought crept into my head. It was easy enough, I supposed, for someone to carry Ben’s body into the woods and dump it there.

  “I think…” I whispered, turning to face Ben, “that maybe your body is in the woods.”

  Ben’s brown eyes twinkled and I blinked in surprise.

  “You knew!” I huffed, affronted that he’d figured it out and hadn’t said a word.

  He shrugged. “I think we came upon it at the same time. You were staring out the back doors towards the woods. I could see the cogs turning.”

  I gasped. “Is that a ghost thing? You can see…my brain?” How gross.

  He rolled his eyes. “Figuratively speaking.” He pointed at Thor’s food bowls. “I was thinking about the blood we found. It’s over here. Away from the kitchen. And the bowls have been disturbed, but whoever it was straightened them in a hurry.”

  “So,” I continued for him, “you’re saying they dragged you out the back door. And you hit the bowls as you went past. Leaving behind that one little drop of blood. Which the killer didn’t see in his haste to get you out.”

  “She’s a natural. I knew you would be.” Ben stepped through the glass door and proceeded across the expanse of lawn towards the woods. I quickly opened the door and followed.

  “Call for Thor,” Ben told me.

  “Why?”

  “Because Mrs. Hill is probably watching and I want you to have a legitimate excuse for why you decided to go into the woods.”

  “Oh.” Good thinking. “Thor!” I bellowed, cupping my hands around my mouth, “Here boy! Good boy! Come on, Thor!” We stepped over the boundary from Ben’s property and into the woods, the lush lawn giving away to hard ground; manicured shrubs to tall trees, filtering the light.

  A few feet in and it was as if we were in another world lost from sight. Even the sounds were different. As in, there weren’t any. No birds. No rustle of little critters in the undergrowth.

  “It’s spooky here.” I shivered, giving a shriek when I hadn’t noticed Ben had stopped and I walked right through him, the icy blast chilling me to the bone. I jumped away, rubbing my hands up and down my arms. “Sorry,” I muttered, but Ben wasn’t paying me any attention. His focus was on the ground where two shallow troughs could be seen.

  “Drag marks?” I whispered.

  He nodded. “Drag marks.”

  In the end, it was relatively easy to find his body. We simply followed the drag marks deep into the woods and there he was, lying on his back in a small clearing, eyes closed, Thor sitting on his chest. My eyes welle
d with tears at the sight.

  “Thor?” I croaked, and the big grey cat swiveled his head and pinned me with his orange gaze.

  “About time you got here,” he said in a thick British accent.

  For the second time that day, my eyes rolled into the back of my head and the earth spun as it rushed up to greet me.

  “She’s waking up. Thor, give her some space.”

  I blinked, then blinked again. I was lying on the ground. Ben’s cat Thor sat a foot away, watching me with interest. Beyond Thor was Ben’s body.

  “You okay, Fitz?” Ben asked, crouching by my side. “You’ve had a lot of shocks today. That’s the second time you’ve fainted. Maybe you should get checked out?”

  I sat up, examining my stinging elbow.

  “You’ve taken some skin off.” Ben told me. “I tried to catch you, but…” He held up his hands and shrugged. But he was a ghost and couldn’t touch anything, including me.

  “I could wash that for you?” Thor offered, drawing my attention to the talking cat.

  My voice trembled when I finally blurted, “You can talk.”

  “No,” Thor corrected. “Rather, you can understand me.”

  “What are you saying? That I’m speaking cat?”

  “Well, I’m not speaking human, that’s for sure.” Thor stood and arched his back, his front paws stretching out in front of him. “But I think the more pressing matter right now is my human.” Thor turned his head and stared at Ben’s body.

  Struggling to my feet, I staggered over to Ben’s prone form. Blood soaked his shirt.

  “I’d say a stab wound to the abdomen.” Ghost Ben bent and squinted at the tear in his shirt. “Possibly stabbed twice. I wouldn’t have died straight away. More likely bled out here.”

  I swallowed, looking at the puddle of congealed blood beneath his body.

  “Looks like,” I agreed with a croak. It was a lot of blood, and now that I was closer I could smell the coppery tang in the air. Pulling my phone from my back pocket I called the police.

  “My friend is dead,” I said into the phone. Ben’s head snapped toward me. I eyeballed him. What? We had to do this, the police had to be involved, someone had murdered him, for God’s sake. After giving them Ben’s address I told them I’d meet them at the edge of the woods.

  “Okay.” Ben sighed, acknowledging I was right. “Let’s hope they send someone decent. In the meantime, don’t forget what you told Mrs. Hill. That I asked you to swing by and feed Thor this morning. Remember, they will most likely check my phone records, so don’t say I called or texted. Say that I asked you in person when I left the Crown and Anchor last night. Say Thor didn’t come when you called him so you started looking for him and stumbled across the tracks in the dirt. And don’t tell them anything about the cases I was working.”

  I snorted. “That’s easy. I don’t know anything about your cases. You mentioned when I bumped into you on the street that you had a business meeting. But that’s all you said.”

  “Good. I don’t want you to have to lie, Audrey, but…”

  “I know.” I half-smiled. “Best not mention I can see your ghost and talk to your cat.”

  “Yeah.” He nodded.

  Thor strolled forward, rubbing around my ankles. “To give credibility to your story, perhaps you should be holding me when the plod arrives?”

  “Plod?”

  “Police,” he explained.

  “So you’re really…British?” I’d never considered cats had nationalities before.

  “I’m a British Shorthair.” He sniffed. “What else would I be?”

  “You speak very well for a cat,” I muttered, bending down to scoop him into my arms. God, he was heavy.

  “I’ll stay here,” Ben offered. “Less chance of distracting you.”

  “Okay.” I followed the trail back to the edge of the woods and Ben’s backyard. Just as I stepped out of the tree line, two officers rounded the side of the house. I bit my lip and remained silent while I waited for Sergeant Dwight Clements and Officer Ian Mills to reach me. Dressed in black pants and gray shirts with the Firefly Bay police shield stitched above the pocket on the left-hand side, they swaggered toward me.

  I couldn’t believe my bad luck. These two were my least favorite members of the Firefly Bay police force. Ben’s ex-colleagues and—in my opinion—utterly useless.

  Ian was in his early fifties, yet had never advanced beyond officer. No surprises there. He was an incompetent moron, and the sergeant he’d been paired with, despite being younger than him, was no better.

  “Audrey,” Dwight boomed. “What’s this nonsense about a dead body?”

  “Hardly nonsense.” I bristled. Thor had stiffened in my arms as soon as Dwight had spoken, his overly loud voice no doubt offensive to the cat’s ears.

  “It’s okay,” I soothed, stroking Thor’s fur in reassurance. “It’s Ben. He’s dead.”

  Ian rolled his eyes. He actually rolled his eyes, as if I was some high strung female who’d overreacted to something she’d seen in the woods.

  Thor must have sensed my outrage, because he sunk his claws into my shoulder. “Easy.” He meowed into my ear.

  “It’s probably a deer,” Ian said to Dwight. Dwight’s eyes narrowed as he peered at me. “What happened to your arm?” he demanded.

  “I fainted. Hit my elbow on the ground.” It still stung and I knew it was going to sting a whole lot worse when I cleaned it. No doubt I had dirt in it.

  “Fainted,” he repeated.

  “Yes,” I snapped. “As in, lost consciousness.”

  “Why did you faint? Are you sick?” Ian asked.

  It was my turn to roll my eyes. “I fainted because I just discovered the dead body of my best friend.” With one arm I clasped Thor to me in an awkward embrace and pointed towards the woods with the other. “In there. On the ground. Lots of blood.”

  Ian sighed as if what I’d just told him couldn’t possibly be true.

  “Don’t believe me? Come on, I’ll show you!” Spinning on my heel, I kept to the side of the drag marks that led directly to Ben’s body.

  “See?” I stood to one side so they could see for themselves. “Ben Delaney. Dead. Not a deer and not my overactive imagination.”

  “Put the cat down!” Ian suddenly demanded, making me jump. Thor dug his claws into my skin and launched out of my arms, equally startled by Ian’s sudden command. “You’re under arrest.”

  6

  “What’s this?” Detective Kade Galloway strode into the clearing, frowning at me. “Why is she cuffed?”

  It was true. The morons had handcuffed my hands behind my back, arresting me for murder. I wasn’t sure if I should be relieved Galloway was on the scene or worried even more incompetence was about to ensue.

  “We arrested her.” Dwight nodded, chest puffed out as if he was extremely proud of his actions. I bit my lip to keep from speaking. I’d already had Ian whip out his baton and threaten me with it if I said another word. I’d merely been protesting my innocence, but after the way he’d brandished the baton as if he was looking for an excuse to bring it down against my leg—hard—I’d shut up. That’s how Galloway found us, ten minutes later. Me, backed up against a tree, and Ian hovering over me in a threatening manner.

  “For?” Galloway asked, hands on hips. He wasn’t giving us his full attention, his eyes landing on Ben’s body and then surveying the rest of the small clearing where we stood.

  “Well…murder,” Dwight sputtered, as if it were obvious.

  “And what makes you think she killed him?”

  “She knew where he was. His body. She led us straight here! And she has blood on her,” Ian declared. I couldn’t contain the eye roll. My eyes were really getting a workout today.

  “Correct me if I’m wrong…” Galloway’s voice dripped sarcasm. “But didn’t Miss Fitzgerald call it in? That she found her friend like this”—he waved a hand toward the body on the ground—“and immediately called us. And the b
lood on her appears to be her own—from that nasty-looking scrape on her arm. Does that sound like a murderer to you?”

  “She could be covering her tracks!” Dwight protested. “She killed him and then called us to throw us off the scent.”

  “Audrey,” Galloway addressed me, “did you touch the body?”

  I shook my head.

  “Have you touched anything here?”

  I shook my head again.

  “And what brought you into the woods this morning?”

  “I was looking for Thor. Ben’s cat.”

  “Why?”

  “Ben asked me to drop by to feed him.” It was only a small lie and I sent up a little prayer asking for forgiveness. And that they’d believe me. “I didn’t kill him. Why would I? He’s my best friend.” My voice wobbled and my vision blurred. Please don’t let me start crying now, I added to my prayer. My hands were restrained behind my back and I’d end up with snot dribbling down my face.

  “Uncuff her,” Galloway ordered. Sullenly Dwight grabbed my arm and jerked me forward.

  “Gently!” Galloway barked. Dwight spun me and I craned my neck to look at Galloway over my shoulder. His eyes were on Dwight and I could see a spark of anger in them.

  “Good,” Ben said from beside me, making me jump. “Finally someone with two brain cells is here. I’m sorry you had to go through that, Fitz.”

  I couldn’t look at him, so I turned my attention to the bark on the tree I was facing while Dwight took an unholy amount of time freeing my wrists. Eventually, it was done and I rubbed the skin where the metal had chafed.

  “You could sue them for wrongful arrest,” Ben said softly. “Assholes.”

  I glared at him as if to say, stop talking. For each time he spoke, I wanted to respond, and it was taking all of my faculties not to.

  “You two go wait for the coroner out front. Show her the way when she arrives,” Galloway ordered the two inept officers. Once they’d left the clearing he came over to me. “You okay?”

  I nodded. No. I was a bit of a mess, actually.