by Grace Davies
I arrive back to my dorm to find Harley on her bed, the girls and Teddy huddled round her.
“Harley, thank god you’re safe.” I give her a hug. “Are you okay?”
“I feel better now I’m with you guys, I was just so humiliated.”
“We can imagine. Don’t worry I gave him a piece of my mind after you ran off.”
“Thanks, Millie. So, what’s the plan for tonight?”
“Harry Potter!” Georgina squeals.
I hurry to get changed before snuggling together with everyone in front of the TV. We’re all in our house colours: Angelica and I in Gryffindor red; Harley in blue for Ravenclaw; the sunshine twins, Teddy and Lola in yellow for Hufflepuff and Georgina in deep green showing her pride for Slytherin.
“Movie time,” Angelica calls inserting the DVD into the TV.
The menu page for Prisoner of Azkaban appears on screen, excitement filling inside me. Lola clicks play and we all hum the iconic tune of Hedwig’s theme. Munching on popcorn and reciting our favourite lines, time slips away. Just me and my wonderful friends and our dream of being at Hogwarts.
Chapter Nineteen
The ball gown boutique
“It’s FRIDAY!” Lola yells, bouncing round the room.
“Why are you in such a good mood?” Angelica asks.
“Because Millie, Teddy and I are going dress shopping!” She squeals.
“Oooh have fun guys, we went to get ours yesterday. It was so much fun.” Georgina chimes in from across the room.
I sit there forcing a smile onto my face. I love how excited Lola is and it will be fun to go with, but there’s no way I’ll be able to buy a dress from the boutique we’re going to. I can’t pretend to be happy. I quickly get up muttering I’ll be back soon and go to see my mum.
“Hey darling,” she smiles giving me a comforting hug.
“Hey mum,” I sigh.
“Got any plans today seen as all lessons have been cancelled in preparation for the ball?”
“I’m going with Teddy and Lola to this high-end boutique so they can get their ball outfits.”
“That sounds fun. Something about your tone makes me think you’re not excited.”
“I’m not really. Yeah, it will be fun to watch them try on all those fabulous clothes but I’ll have to get mine from a charity shop. It’s okay though, I’m thinking of buying various pieces and creating something new.” I try to look enthusiastic.
“Well in glad you came to see me, because there’s something i have for you.” She routes through her bag before handing me an envelope. I look at her, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
“What’s this?”
“Open it.” I open the tiny envelope to see it filled with multiple £50 notes, 10 to be exact.
“Mum there’s £500 in here.”
“I know, it’s yours.”
“Mine?”
“Yes. I’m giving it to you so you can buy yourself a dress for tomorrow and some heels. Maybe even some make up. It’s yours, you spend it on what you like.”
“But where is it from?”
“Never mind that, just make sure you buy the loveliest dress you can find.”
I rush over and give her a huge hug. “Thank you so much mum, I appreciate this so much.”
“I know you do sweetheart. Now get going, don’t want to be late for your first ever shopping trip.”
I hug her again before practically skipping back to the dorm. I am curious about where mum got the money from but I’m so happy I could burst.
“There you are! We thought you’d disappeared.” Lola sighs a breath of relief.
“I was feeling down about not having any money to buy a dress so i went to see my mum and she gave me this.” I pull the envelope from my pocket and show the girls.
“Holy shit, that’s real money.” Angelica exclaims. I snap my head to look at her in confusion. “I didn’t mean it like that, sorry.”
“It’s okay. I thought the same at first if I’m honest. I don’t know where she got it from but at least I won’t have to buy my dress from a charity shop.”
“We’re going to help you pick the most fabulous dress there is. Now come on, there’s shopping to be done.”
***
We arrive at the boutique and I’m instantly blown away. If heaven was a shop, this is what it would look like. White walls decorated with intricate pink detailing; fixtures of an array of beautiful dresses, every style and colour you can imagine; velvet curtains separating the shop from dressing areas.
“How you feeling Millie?” Teddy smiles at me.
“Like I’ve died and gone to heaven. Is this what being rich feels like?”
“Good afternoon, may I help you with anything?” A stunning sales woman walks up to us, a cheery smile plastered on her face.
“We’re looking for some outfits for a school ball.” Lola replies, excitement radiating through her.
“Fabulous, I’ll show you through to our dressing area and you can get started.” She leads us over and opens the velvet curtain. Behind the curtain is a small podium in the centre of the room; many floor length mirrors cover the walls, allowing you to see yourself from every angle; two sofas placed in front of the podium and three doors hiding changing rooms.
“If you want to browse our selections in the shop and bring as many options as you like in here and have the fashion show of your life. Give me a shout if you need anything. Enjoy.” She smiles before leaving us to have fun.
“Girls, lets pick some outfits!” Teddy grabs our hands, squeezing them tight pulling us back into the shop.
I rush straight over to a fixture displaying endless dresses in various shades of green. I’ve decided to go for a green dress not only because it goes well with my auburn hair and porcelain complexion, but also to surprise Roman as green is his colour. A grab a mix of dresses and take them into the dressing room. Lola and Teddy bring their selections in shortly after.
“Millie is there a reason all your choices are green?” Teddy inquires.
“Well, it goes well with my hair.”
“And...” Lola presses.
“And I might be going with Roman.” I mutter, nervous for their response. I look up at them: Teddy‘s face holds a look of pure shock; Lola has an unreadable expression on hers.
“Guys?”
“When did this happen? I didn’t even know you were friends.” Teddy asks.
I tell Teddy how everything happened, beginning with our blow out at the tree and ending with the other night. Obviously leaving out key information, information that’s just between us.
“Well, I did not expect that. But, if you’re happy then I’m happy for you.”
“Thank you, Teddy, it means a lot.”
I turn to Lola who has been quiet for a long time. “Lola?”
“You know how I feel about him, I’ve already told you I’m not his biggest fan, but I trust you and if you believe he’s changed, or at least trying to then I’ll learn to accept him.”
“I know it’ll be tough for you, but I promise you he is trying to change. Thank you for trusting me.” I give them both a huge hug. “Let’s have a fashion show!”
I sit on the leather sofa, anxiously awaiting to see some of Lola and Teddy’s choices. Lola isn’t a fan of dresses, something to do with her family wanting her to be someone she isn’t, so she tries on various jumpsuits and power suits. She looks stunning in a red suit, a belt cinching it in at the waist but the trousers are a little too short so that option is out. She settles on a pale purple jumpsuit: mesh material at the top and along her arms creates a false neckline; embroidered flowers along the bust and sparkle detailing on the waist.
“Lola you look amazing.” Teddy and I beam at her. She’s radiant.
“I really feel it. I know I might stand out, not being in a dress but I feel so powerful in this, like I could rule the world.”
“You look powerful.”
Teddy comes out in various suits all very plain
and one note. After his third suit I notice a look of sadness on his face.
“Teddy, what’s wrong? You haven’t looked happy in any of your suits.” I ask him.
He looks at the floor, tears pooling his eyes. “I can’t do it.” Me and Lola look at each other in confusion. “I can’t go to the Midnight Ball in a boring suit, it’s not me. I want to express who I am but I can’t, I’ll just have to hide between boring navy, hide like I always do.”
“Why are you hiding?” I place my hand on his shoulder to comfort him, letting him know I’m there.
“I’m hiding my true self. I have done for as long as I can remember. I can’t do it anymore; I have to stop hiding.” He takes a deep breath. “Millie, Lola, I’m gay.” He pauses before continuing. “I’ve known I was ever since I was little but I’ve never told anyone, never felt like I could. But I know I can’t deny myself anymore. I can’t deny myself the chance to be happy. I was ashamed for a long time, still am in a way. What’s everyone going to think? ‘Oh, Theodore Knott he has a lesbian grandmother, of course he’s gay’.”
“Teddy it’s nothing to be ashamed of.” I reassure him.
“Isn’t it? You heard what Charity said to me on the first day. You know what people like Charles will say, likely Roman too. I’ve had to hide it for so long, hiding it for a bit longer won’t make a difference. I just don’t want to. The Ball is a chance to dress up, spend time with your friends, possibly even a date but I don’t get to have that. I really really want that.” Tears roll down his cheeks, “I understand if you don’t want to be my friend anymore.”
“Teddy, don’t ever think like that. You deserve the right to go to the Ball with whoever you want. It’s your night, your time to shine. To hell with those arseholes. They only tease and bully because they’re so damn unhappy with their own lives and their own selves that they tear others down to try and make themselves feel better. You are you, yes you may have been brought up by your grandmother who happens to be a lesbian, but that has nothing to do with you and your sexuality. Teddy I would never stop being your friend over something like this. Love is love. It doesn’t matter to me if you like guys or if you’re a blood sucking vampire, you’re my friend and I love you not matter what.”
“I agree one hundred percent with Millie, you will always be our fabulous Theodore. I don’t even know what my sexuality is, I’m still figuring it out but you know and that’s amazing. You’re brave enough to know and to announce it, yes, it is only us but you still took a big risk today and I am so proud of you.”
“So am I, so proud.”
We envelope him into a group hug, squeezing him tight. “Thank you so much.”
“Now, is there any particular guy you have in that beautiful mind of yours?” Teddy looks down at the floor. “You do! Who is it?”
“Henry Cockle.” He mutters. “But it doesn’t matter anyway, I’m sure he isn’t gay and even if he were, he wouldn’t want to go with me anyway.”
“Well, I might know something you don’t.” I tell him.
“Really, what?”
“I don’t know if he is gay but he likely is by the way he couldn’t take his eyes off you that day I danced with him. I told him I wouldn’t tell you but you need to know.”
“He was looking at me?”
“He wasn’t just looking, he was staring. I wouldn’t be surprised if the pair of you were getting married in his head.” Teddy starts to blush. “So, you gonna ask him?”
“I could never.”
“Of course, you can Teddy, you can do anything.” Lola chimes in.
“I know the perfect place where you can ask him. There’s a beautiful oak tree up a hill round the back of the school, it’s kind of mine and Roman’s special place, but you can gladly borrow it to ask Henry to the Ball.”
“Oh, I don’t know.”
“I’ll even be there for support if you need me.”
“No, I have to do it alone.”
“So, you’re doing it?” Lola squeals.
“I’m doing it,” Teddy laughs.
“Now you better go try on some more suits if you want to impress Henry.”
“I think I know the perfect one.” He rushes back into the changing room and after a few short minutes comes back out, a huge smile plastered across his face.
“Ta da,” he says standing there in a rusty red coloured suit covered with embroiled roses, a black shirt and matching tie.
“Teddy.” I’m at a loss for words.
“You look -” Lola seems to be too.
“Amazing,” Teddy finishes off for us. “I feel it too. I snuck this in earlier but I was too scared to try it on but you guys showed me that it’s okay to be myself.”
“Henry will fall head over heels for you when he sees you in that.”
“Enough about me. Lola has her outfit, I have mine. Time for you to find yours Millie.”
The first dress I try is beautiful: floor length and figure hugging. Though Lola and Teddy love it, I feel far too self-conscious in it. The second is knee length with a halter neckline and a silver belt. While I prefer this more than the first, it still doesn’t feel right. My fingers dance along the fabric of the third dress, I slip into it, instantly knowing it is the one. I take a look in the mirror before stepping out to show Teddy and Lola.
“That’s the one. Definitely.” Teddy says without a shadow of a doubt.
“It really is. It’s reserved but still beautiful. It’s very you.”
“I really love it and it’s only £200 which means I can buy my mother a present to say thank you.”
“If we’re all sorted here, let’s go pay!”
***
After spending a considerable about of time and money at the boutique, I stopped off at a jeweller’s, on our way back, to pick up a present for my mum and a little something for Roman. They weren’t anything big, just something small to show my appreciation. I gave mum hers: a Pandora bracelet with various charms corresponding to our many memories, when I arrived back at school.
“Millie, you shouldn’t have. The money was for you to treat yourself.”
“And I did, I got a beautiful dress and a pair of black kitten heels to go. Trust me I spent more money than I intended. You deserve to be spoilt everyday but I’ve never been able to before, so enjoy this small gift.”
“I’m very grateful, Millie. You’re too kind.”
“I love you mum.”
“I love you too sweetheart.”
Teddy stopped by earlier, looking incredibly nervous, on his way to meet Henry at the tree. He was visibly shaking, kept asking us if he was doing the right thing. Harley calmed him down. She told him she knew her twin and he’d be lucky to go to the Ball with Teddy. With that he left.
I haven’t heard from him since and that was half an hour ago. I might bump into him as I told Roman to meet me there at seven. It’s six fifty now, I’m a little early so I take my time up the hill, careful to stay hidden in case Henry and Teddy are still up there. Halfway up the hill I see them, huddled together at the trunk of the tree. My heart glows for them, seeing it went well, they both deserve each other.
I hear a crunch behind me as Roman’s slender figure appears next to me.
“Who we spying on?” He whispers stealthily.
“Teddy and Henry. Teddy asked him to the Ball, I’m presuming it went well by the looks of things.” We look back up the hill and see the pair start to get up.
“They look happy.” Roman smiles.
“The magic of the tree.”
“Our tree,” he nudges me gently.
Teddy and Henry make their way down the hill and past us. Teddy spots us standing there, trying to look inconspicuous. He smiles at me, mouthing thanks and giving me a small thumbs up. I nod at him in response.
“So, you beckoned me.” Roman states as we reach the tree.
“Yeah.” I reach into my bag and pull out the velvet green box.
“What’s this? Are you proposing?” He looks at
the box suspiciously.
“No.” I roll my eyes. “It’s a little something to say thank you for my jewellery.” I smile nervously.
He tentatively opens the box, his eyes lighting up as he sees what is inside: a pair of oak tree cufflinks.
“Where did you find these?” He beams.
“In a little jeweller’s in London after we went dress shopping. I was originally looking for a pair of green cufflinks but I thought they’d be perfect.”
“Millie, they’re wonderful. They also look expensive.”
“They were. But it’s okay, I used the money left over from my shopping budget.”
“Thank you, they’re perfect.”
“You’re welcome. I just wanted to get you something nice that you could wear tomorrow.”
“Speaking off tomorrow, what’s your dress like?”
“I don’t think so. You’ll ruin the surprise.”
“Can’t I even know the colour?” He looks at me, making his lips pout.
“Nope, that’s part of the surprise.”
“You’re tough but okay. I’m really looking forward to the Ball tomorrow.”
“Me too, it’s going to be perfect.”
Chapter Twenty
the magic of a ball
Clothed in her gorgeous green dress she descends the stairs carefully, making an effort not to slip. There waiting for her, at the bottom of the stairs: Foundry.
“Foundry?” She ponders aloud. “Where’s Roman?”
“He realised he was too good for you. No time for that, everyone’s waiting.”
The doors to the ballroom fly open, hundreds of eyes fixated on her as she enters. The room: silent. All that is heard is the tiny clip clop of her heels and the drum of her heart pulsating in her ears. Then it comes. The laughter. A harmony of laughter echoing throughout the room. The teachers, students: laughing.
Why are they laughing at me? She wonders.
As if to answer her thoughts a voice calls over the laughter. “Look at what you’re wearing.” Her once gorgeous green dress is now a tatty, badly sewn bag draped across her body; not leaving anything to the imagination. She tries to hide herself, shield herself from the humiliation with her arms as she shrinks smaller and smaller.