Rich Homeless Broken But Beautiful

by Ian Tremblay

  "Aren't you going to ask me what for?" Peggy looked up.

  "What?"

  "You know the computer and the printer."

  "Oh yeah sure, what for?"

  "Well, I've been doing some research on personal injury cases like mine and I found a ton of information on the Internet. It has helped me understand my own situation, you know from a legal perspective. I need a faster computer and a printer to prepare myself for the settlement discussions."

  "I see, but I still think you should get a lawyer."

  "Peggy we've talked about this before please." Peggy raised her hands in a gesture of rendition.

  "Hey, I'm just saying, okay?"

  "Okay, you want to know what else, Peggy? I'm going to kick Mortimer Roaden's ass. That little weasel is in for a surprise, believe me."

  "Well actually, he looks more like a deformed rabbit, remember?" Both girls broke out laughing as they had done the day before. It felt good to laugh again. It was like old times, the times before the accident, when they were young and carefree and had not a worry in the world. Both of them knew that time was over though and that their laughter was only a momentary passage, a small break that life was giving them, like the sun breaking through the clouds on a troubled day.

  Linda's mother came to visit the next week, as she did every month. She was the only other person besides Peggy that Linda would have in the apartment living close to her. She always cooked and cleaned, which gave Peggy a welcome break. She gave Linda news about Derek and her sisters, Veronica and Dawn. They were all getting on with their lives. She would describe in great detail everything that was going on in each one of their lives. It helped Linda stay in touch with her brother and sisters without actually having to see them.

  "Linda you can't spend six hours every day in front of that thing. It can't be good for you." Her mother was not of the computer generation and didn't really understand or trust them. She worried that it was not good for Linda to spend so much time at the computer because of her fragile state.

  "Oh come on, Mom." Linda was glued to the screen. "You know I have to do this. I'm educating myself, and I'm getting ready. I've really got to do this, Mom."

  "Well whatever, it still doesn't seem normal. I mean, you spend just about every waking hour in front of that damn thing."

  "It's not a thing, Mom, it's a computer." Linda closed the computer down; slowly she got up and shuffled over to sit with her mother, who had been absentmindedly watching television in the living room.

  "You know, Linda, I don't understand how people get hooked on these soaps. I just don't get it." Linda's mom had not had the luxury of becoming a daytime soap-opera addict. The only thing she had ever known was hard work.

  "It's simple, Mom. They've got too much time on their hands, and these things," Linda pointed to the television set, "well; they just fill up the emptiness in their lives. They don't know what it's like to have it rough, Mom, and they aren't tough cookies like you." Her mother turned toward her.

  "I'm not a tough cookie, Linda; I've had a tough life, that's all. Life has made me what I am," she turned off the television. "You're gonna have to be tough too now, Linda, tough as hell. I worry a lot about that, you know."

  "I know you do, Mama, but I'm tough. Believe me, I am, and I'm a fighter. I don't abandon easy, just like you didn't abandon easy when you had to raise us all alone. You didn't run. You dug in, and you fought for us, and we all made it because of you. Don't worry about me, Mama, I'll be fine."

  "It's hard not to worry, Linda. You're here," she looked about the apartment, "all alone, so far from all of us who love you and miss you."

  "I know, Mama, I miss you all too, but I'm not alone here. I have Peggy, and you come to visit me often." Her mother did not respond. She had tried to coax Linda into moving back home with her, but Linda would have nothing of it. She was stubborn as hell, and her mother knew that she would have things her way no matter what.

  "Mom?"

  "Yes dear."

  "Tell me about Dad; will you, about you and him? I want to know, Mom, I need to know. I know he hurt you bad and that you've never wanted to talk to us about him, but I really want to know, please?" Her mother looked at her resigned.

  "What is there to say, Linda? We were young, we fell in love, and I got pregnant with you. We got married, and then the other children came along quickly. Life took over our lives; there was never any time or enough money for anything. Your father was not an educated man. He worked as a laborer. The wages were bad and the work was hard. At one point there was no more love in our lives. I don't know how or when it happened. It just happened, that's all. Everything was work, laundry, children, housework, cooking, and that was it. That was our life. Then one day, he didn't come back from work. I never saw or heard from him again. He just left me there, in poverty with four children from nine to four years old, to raise on my own. He killed me, that bastard; he killed me years before my death." She turned her head away, tears filling her eyes. The memory of her long-gone husband had reopened the deep and bitter wound it had inflicted on her. Linda put her scarred hand on her mother's forearm. Her mother wiped her tears with her other arm and turned toward Linda.

  "The only thing that kept me going was my love for all of you. From that moment on everything I did was for your sake and for your sake alone. Your father is dead for me, Linda, and he's been dead a long time, and I hope that he suffers as much as I have in this life." Tears rolled down her cheeks, and she lowered her head.

  After a few moments of silence, Linda said, "Thanks, Mama. You know this is the most you ever told me about him. I appreciate it, and I promise you I won't ask or pry again. I just needed to know and to hear it from you, that's all." They sat there in silence for a few minutes, each one reflecting on what had been said.

  "Do you want some tea, Linda?" Her mother asked her voice cracked with emotion.

  "I'd love some tea, Mama, thanks." Just as she was about to get up, Linda took her mother's forearm and pulled her toward her. She took her in her arms and hugged her, pressing her good arm into her mother's back. It was the first time since her accident that Linda had held someone in that way. She held onto her mother tightly, not wanting to let go, and then the tears came, timidly at first and then in an unstoppable flow, and she began howling and sobbing uncontrollably, her whole body shaking with all the pain and tears that had been pent up inside her since her accident. It was as if the flood gates of her immeasurable misery had suddenly been opened.

  "I love you, Mama," she wailed. "I love you so much." Her mother did not answer but held on to her daughter tightly, crying in silence and rocking her gently like a baby. They stayed that way for a long time, consoling themselves in each other's arms and sharing the weight of Linda's stupendous pain.

  Jeff Peterson kept leaving messages on Linda's voicemail; he even sent flowers once in a while. Linda felt bad about not responding. Finally, one morning, after having built up enough courage, she called the clinic. After what seemed an interminable amount of time, he came on the line.

  "Hello, Jeff Peterson here."

  Linda opened her mouth, but she could not bring herself to speak. The sound of his voice brought back the memory of that last night, that night when their burgeoning love had taken its flight. That wonderful night that had been the last night of her other life-it all seemed so far away now.

  "Hello, is someone there?" There was a touch of impatience in his voice.

  "Jeff?" Linda's voice was cracked and hesitant.

  "Yes?"

  "Jeff, its Linda, Linda Staunton." There was a second or two of silence on the line.

  "Linda, oh my God, Linda! It's you, wow! I'm so glad you called." Linda's voice had changed a lot because of her facial deformities, and he barely recognized her.

  "I'm sorry I didn't call you earlier, Jeff. I mean, you've been so sweet and all, the flowers, the messages, it's just that, well ..." Linda hesitated.

  "Linda, it's okay. Peggy has kept me up to
speed on things. I know all about your situation, so it's okay, you don't have to worry or explain. I understand."

  "Thank you, Jeff. I appreciate your concern and support. It helped me get through this ordeal, and I just wanted to thank you personally."

  "Well, it isn't much really, a minimum, I might say, considering what you've been through. I was really concerned about you for a while back there. Your condition was pretty scary, you know. Anyway, the important thing is that you're getting better and that you called. I'm really glad you did that."

  "Thanks, Jeff. Look, I'm sure you're busy, and I don't want to take up too much of your time ..."

  . "Take up as much time as you want, Linda. I'm glad to talk to you. It's been a long time, you know?"

  "Yeah, I know. Anyway, look, I know you've asked Peggy a lot of times and you said in your messages that you wanted to come over and visit me and all, but ..."

  "Yes, I'd like that very much, Linda ..." Linda cut him off.

  "Look Jeff, I can't do that, okay? I just can't." Her voice was higher pitched, revealing her stress. "I need you to understand this, it's important to me." He was taken aback by her tone and sudden forcefulness.

  "Okay," he said hesitantly. Linda sensed his unease.

  "Look, Jeff, I'm sorry. I don't mean to be rude, but this is not something I will change my mind about. However, I do have a suggestion to make if you're interested."

  "Okay, what is it?" He had become cautious; her tone had stung him and put a damper on his enthusiasm.

  "Well, how about we communicate by email? That would work for me."

  "Sure, Linda, that's a great idea, I'll drop you an email later today, as soon as I get a minute. It's been crazy busy here lately."

  "Yeah, I know, Peggy told me all about it. So look, I'll let you go now. You have things to attend to, and we'll talk by email, right? Oh, and once again, Jeff, thank you for your support; it means the world to me."

  "You're welcome, Linda. I'm glad you called and to know that you're doing okay. So you take care now."

  "I will thank you. Bye now."

  "Bye, Linda."

  Linda stayed a long time by the phone after having hung up, staring in front of her at nothing in particular. When she had been on the phone with Jeff, she had felt like her old self again for a few moments. It had felt good to feel that way again, even though she knew she would never be that person again. She knew there was no place in her new life for Jeff Peterson, or anybody else, as a matter of fact, and she firmly believed that that chapter of her life was over.

  Linda spent most of her days in front of her computer. She had two regular correspondents. One was Jeff Peterson, who had a talent for writing that he probably didn't even suspect he had. She loved to read his emails. They were always witty and funny and full of surprises. They wrote to each other two or three times a day sometimes. She got excited every time one of his emails came in; it was often the high point of her day. Jeff never asked her to go visit, and she never offered. Then all of a sudden his emails became less frequent and then stopped altogether. Linda was disappointed but not surprised. It was only much later that she found out from Peggy that he had begun dating another woman and that they were planning to get married.

  Her other email regular was the befuddling Mortimer Roaden. He emailed Linda continuously, convinced that he was handling things well and that he was in control. Linda, who had become very confident because of the newfound knowledge that she had acquired by her intensive research on the Internet, was asking him much more pertinent and to the point questions. He was not getting the better of her. Mortimer Roaden took her very seriously, and he replied to her every query with diligence and exactitude. He also remembered from his one and only face to face with her that she was not someone he wanted to screw around with. Thus, another year went by, and Linda regained her strength and acuity. Her life was spent in front of the computer or watching television. On rare occasions she ventured out late at night for walks and always with her head and face very well concealed. Peggy and her mother remained her sole real contacts with the rest of humanity.

  One night Peggy got home unusually late. It had happened a few times in the past months, and Linda had thought nothing of it. Peggy had told her that she had been working late at the clinic.

  "Hi, it's me." Linda heard the familiar clinging of her keys on the counter.

  "Hi," Linda called from the living room. It was past 2:00 a.m. Peggy came into the living room and went to sit in front of Linda.

  "Still up?" Peggy asked. Linda shut off the television.

  "Yeah, I'm not really sleepy, and you? Been working overtime again?"

  "No, I haven't, Linda," Peggy was looking at the floor, her hands clasped together in front of her. She looked toward Linda with a strange light in her eyes.

  "Well you've been out then? Why are you looking at me with that funny look? Have you been drinking?"

  "No, of course not," she said and smiled. "I've found someone, Linda," she said, her voice practically inaudible. "I've been seeing him for the past few months or so. I didn't want to tell you until I was sure it was serious." Linda just stared at her. It had crossed her mind a few times that Peggy would someday meet someone and fall in love. She had always pushed those thoughts out of her mind, secretly hoping that all that was a long way off. She now realized how selfish and stupid she had been and was in shock. She hadn't foreseen this happening so quickly.

  Hiding her emotions, she asked in as casual a manner as she could muster, "Well, aren't you going to tell me about this guy?" She hoped her voice was not too shaky, which would have betrayed the turmoil in her gut. Peggy got up and went to sit beside her.

  "Oh, Linda, he's fantastic. He's everything I ever wanted a man to be. He's kind, considerate, sensitive, and he loves me more than anything in the world." Peggy was so enthusiastic and her eyes were filled up with so much love that Linda could only smile. She was happy for her, happy for her friend.

  "Does Mr. Fantastic have a name?"

  "Terrance, Terrance Holden. Oh Linda, I'm sure you'll love him too. He's a salesman who works for one of the big companies that sells supplies to the clinic. That's how I met him; he's been after me for months. I resisted at first. I thought he was just another, you know, fast-talking sales guy. But then, six months ago, I accepted to have a coffee with him after work. Well, one thing led to another and ..." Peggy sighed, looking toward Linda with her eyes full of light.

  "So now you're in love with this Terrance, right?"

  "Oh yes, Linda, I'm madly in love, and so is he. We've talked about marriage and children and all that ..." Peggy hesitated before going any further, looking from the floor and then back to Linda. Linda put her hand on Peggy's.

  "Its okay, Peggy, you're allowed to be happy and to have a life. I mean to be honest with you, I thought this would have happened earlier," Linda lied admirably considering the formidable ache that had just entered her heart.

  "Oh really, Linda, do you think so? I was so worried about telling you all this. I mean, I didn't know how."

  "Look, Peggy, it's been two years since my accident. For two years now you've been taking care of me and brought me back to life. You dedicated yourself heart and soul to me, and for that, I will be eternally grateful to you and in your debt forever." Peggy began to protest.

  "Hush now, hear me out, please. Because of you I am where I am today. You gave me the strength to overcome the insurmountable difficulties I was facing. I will be okay, Peggy, believe me. I can make it on my own, and I know that now. As for you, well, you are a young, beautiful, healthy woman. You deserve to be with someone, to have a family and to have a happy, fulfilling life. I want that for you, Peggy. I want that more than anything in the world. You got that?"

  Peggy's eyes filled with tears. "Okay," she managed to say before throwing herself into Linda's arms, sobbing, her heart filled with both joy and relief. Linda patted her back and stroked her hair.

  "Come now, let's not get carri
ed away. This Terrance has not taken you away from me yet, right?" Peggy broke away from their embrace and looked at Linda with tear-filled eyes.

  "No he hasn't, not yet." She wiped the tears from her face and managed a smile.

  "So let's make the best of the time we have together, what do you say?"

  "Okay, Linda, the best, I promise you, the very best." Peggy hugged her again and held onto her tight. Linda stroked her back and stared silently into space.

  Linda did not sleep well that night. She tossed and turned and woke up frequently. Her bones hurt, like they hadn't hurt in a long time. Finally, after a long, silent cry, she managed to sleep a few hours.

  The next morning Linda was up first. She set the table and prepared breakfast. Peggy shuffled into the kitchen at about ten. It was her day off; she looked at the set table with surprise.

  "Hey, you made breakfast."

  "Yes, I did. Sit down." Linda served her a coffee. On the table she had laid out some sliced fruit with some yogurt and French toast, Peggy's favorite breakfast.

  "French toast, great, I'm starving." Peggy was particularly well rested. Her confession to Linda the night before about Terrance had liberated her, and she felt great, almost buoyant. Linda sat down and noticed how happy Peggy seemed to be; it made all the pain and torture of her sleepless night go away. She wanted Peggy to be happy, as happy as she would never be.

  "I have some news for you too, Peggy," Peggy, with her mouth full of French toast, looked up and nodded, with a questioning expression in her eyes.

  "Well, our friend Mr. Roaden has made me a counter offer to settle my claim, and I think that I will accept it."

  "Oh yeah, what's the offer now?"

  "Twenty-one million," Linda said nonchalantly.

  "Twenty-one million! Wow, that's a lot of money." Peggy practically choked and her eyes became round with amazement. "That's a lot more than the last offer, isn't it?"

  "Yes it is, but you see, I've been twisting his evil little arm quite a bit, and he's really scared I will go to a lawyer. So, he has made me an offer to settle all claims, and I think I'll take it. It's more money than I'll ever need. I could give some to my mother and then get my life organized, you know? Move on." Peggy put her fork down, reflecting,