His Guilt

by Shelley Shepard Gray

  “Good day,” he replied softly. “I’m sorry I’m late.”

  “I expect you had good reason.”

  “I’m ready now. Where would you like me?”

  “Go to the storeroom, wouldja? There’s a new apron for you there.”

  Mark raised his eyebrows but did as he was bid. He really hoped that Henry wasn’t trying to get him out of sight.

  When he opened the storeroom, though, he literally gasped.

  His brother, Calvin, was sitting on an upturned bucket, sorting seed packets.

  “Hey,” he said. “I had just about given up on you.”

  “Calvin.” Feeling stunned, he stumbled over his words. “Does Henry know you’re here?”

  “Of course. I wouldn’t be sorting seeds on my own.”

  That was Calvin. Ready with a flippant reply that hid the seriousness of the situation. Actually, he spoke like his showing up at Blooms and Berries made perfect sense.

  It didn’t.

  As Mark thought about Lora’s injuries, Waneta’s friendship, Sheriff Brewer questioning him, then driving him here, he realized that Calvin’s appearance in the storage room fit right in with how everything in their lives was going.

  Nothing made perfect sense at the moment.

  CHAPTER 27

  Wednesday, August 17

  What are you doing here?” Mark asked.

  Eyeing his brother, Calvin relaxed. Mark wasn’t yelling at him or telling him to get out of his life. It was a small thing, but an improvement. “I heard about Lora . . . and that you were taken in for questioning. I figured you might need a hand.”

  In a move out of their childhood, Mark visibly got control of himself. After a few seconds, Calvin strode closer. “I’ve been worried about you. Where have you been?”

  Wasn’t that how it had always been? Even when he was in so much hot water that he could barely breathe, his brother still concentrated on him.

  If he hadn’t thought Mark would have taken it the wrong way, Calvin would have laughed. Instead, he got to his feet. They were the same height. Roughly the same build. Calvin hoped that would remind his brother that he wasn’t a weakling needing to be looked after. “Where do you think I’ve been?”

  “I couldn’t even begin to imagine.”

  Huh. It seemed Mark wasn’t attempting to act calm and nurturing after all. “You sound as if you’ve been imagining a lot of things, actually. What have you been picturing me doing, Mark? Maybe that I took myself over to Lora’s haus last night and decided to beat her bloody?”

  Mark’s neck flushed, giving Calvin his answer. “You hit her before.”

  It was hard, but Calvin stayed steady. “You’re right. I did. I hit her and apologized for it. It don’t help that I was drunk and stoned, does it?”

  “Nee. That was no excuse.”

  “You’re right. It don’t matter at all. I got mad, did something I was ashamed of, and hurt her in the process.”

  Mark just stared, his expression cool. “I still don’t know where you’ve been.”

  “Because you don’t need to know. But we do need to talk. That’s why I’m here. Because we need to talk about some things.”

  “Actually, well, now ain’t the best—”

  “I get it, Mark,” Calvin interrupted. “I get that you are never going to want to hear what I have to say.”

  “Hold on. I didn’t say that.”

  But his pensive expression told Calvin otherwise. “We have a lifetime of hurts and mistakes that lie between us like a deep, dark pool. We are afraid to get closer because we don’t know what we’re going to find between us. Maybe we’re afraid of drowning.”

  “I never thought you were the type of man to bring up metaphors.”

  Calvin smiled. “Really? Did you ever pay attention to what I could do, Mark?” he asked softly. “Or was it easier to simply concentrate on what I couldn’t do. What I didn’t do.”

  “Don’t make our childhood into something it wasn’t. Of course I was never your buddy or your pal. I grew up having to take care of you.”

  “And I grew up knowing that you had to. How do you think that felt?”

  Mark swallowed. “What does it matter? You’re an adult now.”

  Choosing his words with care, he said, “It matters because I was your burden. When I left, I knew you weren’t going to understand why.”

  “I know you got into a lot of trouble. I know you left me alone to take care of our father.”

  Calvin flinched. He’d conveniently given himself a dozen excuses and reasons that justified his leaving. More food for Mark. Less tension in the house. Mark could have more time for himself. Never had he thought that his brother had felt much more than relief at his departure.

  “We might have too much between us to ever get along. But I need you to put our pasts behind us for a little while and give me a few minutes of your time.” When Mark looked like he was about to push him off again, Calvin added quickly, “Call it giving me just a smidge of the Lord’s grace.”

  “Don’t speak of the Lord.”

  “How about you stop acting so high and mighty?”

  Mark pressed his palms to his face. Then, looking weary, he sat down on the edge of a stack of wooden crates. “What do you want to talk about?”

  “I came to Horse Cave to find you because I heard you got the house. I wanted to convince you to sell it and give me half the money.”

  “I know. I haven’t changed my mind. I’m not going to sell the house.”

  “Yeah, I figured that out. You don’t think I deserve it.”

  Mark folded his arms across his chest. “Maybe I thought about that at first. But, really, the house needs so much work, I don’t know how much money we would ever get for it. Or when it would sell. Then I would be back where I was—homeless. I can’t live that way again.”

  Yet again, Mark’s practical nature shamed him.

  Or, maybe it was Lora getting hurt.

  Until now, all Calvin had been thinking about was freeing himself from the gang. He hadn’t considered all the consequences of his actions. Yet again. “I guess you’re right,” he said at last.

  “Are you in a lot of trouble?”

  “In trouble with the people I owe money to? Yeah. Some.” Of course, that was a lie. He was in a lot of trouble, and out of ideas. There was a real good chance the gang wasn’t going to let him live another two weeks unless a miracle happened.

  “I don’t have any extra funds to give you,” Mark said. “Do you want to live back at home with me?”

  He’d never imagined Mark would offer that. If Calvin wasn’t so used to steeling himself against pain, he swore he would have started crying. He’d thought he’d lost everything.

  “Thanks, but that place is never going to hold anything but bad memories for me.”

  Disappointment flickered in Mark’s eyes before he steeled himself again. “So, is that what you wanted to tell me? That you came back here because you’re in trouble?”

  “Yeah. I mean, ain’t that enough?”

  Staring at him, Mark shook his head. “Nee.”

  “I don’t know what else you want from me.”

  “Maybe I want you to listen to me for a change.”

  “And hear what?”

  “That I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have pretended not to see you when you first showed up. I shouldn’t have acted like you were going to taint my relationship with Waneta.” Looking exhausted, Mark sat down on a crate. “I guess I haven’t changed all that much, after all. When we were young, I felt that I could never let my guard down. If I did, we’d get in trouble, or we wouldn’t have any food. Or someone would want to try to separate us.”

  “You aren’t wrong. You couldn’t let your guard down. Our parents? Well, they weren’t much good at parenting.”

  “They weren’t much good at much,” Mark corrected. “Anyway, lately, I’ve been trying so hard to rebuild my life that I had forgotten that I had to repair my past in order to do that
. I should have put you first.”

  “I didn’t come here to hear that.”

  “I’m glad you did, though.” Optimism filled his tone. “Calvin, it’s not too late. We can do that now. I want us to try to get to know each other again.”

  Calvin doubted he was going to live long enough for that to be possible, but he was willing to give it a try. “I want that, too,” he said quietly.

  When the storage room door opened, Henry Lehmann and Waneta Cain walked in.

  Mark fairly jumped to his feet. “Waneta, hi,” he said in a soft tone. “Are you all right?”

  Crossing the room, she reached for his hands. “I am now,” she said with a bright, blinding smile. “We just heard that Lora is awake!”

  “Praise the Lord,” Henry said. “The doctors think she is going to make a full recovery.”

  “That’s wonderful news. The best,” Mark said, smiling right back at her.

  “We also heard some news, though this was a bit harder to hear,” Mr. Lehmann said. “Lora told the deputy who her attacker was.”

  “Who?” Mark asked.

  “James Eicher.”

  Waneta inhaled sharply while Mark pressed his lips together. “Have they picked him up yet?” Mark asked.

  Mr. Lehmann shook his head. “I don’t believe so. I was mostly concerned with Lora, though.”

  Waneta gazed up at Mark. “I’d like to see her. I don’t want her to think she’s all alone.”

  “I thought you’d want to get over there,” Mr. Lehmann said. “I just called for a driver to take you and Mark to the hospital. He should be here within ten minutes or so.”

  Calvin cleared his throat. “Can I go, too?” Realizing he sounded like a little kid, he shook his head in dismay. “I meant, well, I’d like to join you.”

  Mark smiled. “If you want to join us, we’d be happy to have you come along.”

  “I want to.”

  Waneta turned to him and smiled. “Everything is going to be so much better now. I’m sure of it.”

  Calvin didn’t speak, but he did glance at Mark. Relief shone in his eyes.

  It was the same exact way Calvin was feeling.

  LORA WAS SURPRISED to discover that Eddie Beck was still sitting at her bedside when she woke up from another long nap late that afternoon.

  “You came back,” she murmured, her voice thick with sleep.

  “I did. After I went back to the office for a couple of hours, I told the sheriff that I wanted to come keep you company.”

  “That’s sweet of you.”

  Taking her hand, he ran his thumb along her knuckles. “I didn’t want you to be alone.”

  “I’m glad you’re here.”

  He smiled, but the warmth didn’t quite reach his eyes. He was worried. No doubt he was hoping for more information about James’s attack. “Do you want me to talk about what happened now?”

  “Do you mind? I know we already went through this once. Do you think you can handle telling me about the experience again?”

  “Well, I can try. I mean, that’s why you’re here, right?”

  Standing up, he leaned over and brushed a chunk of her hair away from her face. “Actually, no. I came back because I care about you, Lora. You are what is important to me.”

  He was so kind. He sounded so sincere. Her pulse quickened as she imagined them together. Then, just as quickly, she reminded herself that she was no doubt putting too much into his words. Why, he probably thought he should care about every person who lived in Hart County.

  His eyes brightened. “Lora Weaver, never decide to start playing professional poker. I can read just about everything you are thinking.”

  “Even now?” she tried to joke. Her face was swollen and one of her eyes was almost shut.

  “Especially now,” he said as he brushed his hand through her hair again. “I’m not going to make you answer a bunch of questions or play games with you. I just want you to know that I’m here for one reason only. Because I want to be with you.”

  His words were so sweet. Soon, she knew she would treasure every word of their conversations, too.

  But for now? She was too weak to do much except tell him what he needed to know. “Like I told you before, James was waiting for me when I got home from our date.”

  Pulling out his notebook, he flipped it open and started writing. “Tell me again what he was wearing. And what you remember him saying.”

  “It might take me a while,” she warned. “I keep remembering everything out of order.”

  Pressing his lips to her brow, he whispered, “Take all the time you need. We’ll talk about James, then we’ll put it behind you and talk about something else.”

  “Such as?”

  He chuckled. “Maybe I’ll tell you a story or two, Lora.”

  Relaxing again, she started to talk. The words came easier now, maybe because she knew that their conversation wasn’t about to end.

  Like their relationship, it was only just beginning.

  “YOU SURE ABOUT this?” Mark asked when they stopped in front of Lora’s house two days later.

  “Mighty sure,” Waneta said. “When I told Lora that I wanted to be a better friend to her, I meant what I said.”

  Taking her hand, he squeezed it. “I know that. I just don’t want you to walk home from her house by yourself.”

  “I’m going to go straight home, Mark. I’ll be careful.” Releasing his hand, she gave him a little push. “Now, off you go. You have supper plans with Eli.”

  He smiled. “We’re going out for Mexican. Turns out he likes spicy food as much as I do.”

  “Enjoy yourselves. Now, I’ve gotta go.”

  After he gave her a hug, she raced up Lora’s walk and rapped on the door. After a minute or two, Lora opened the door.

  “Boy, Mark sure doesn’t like telling you good-bye,” she teased.

  Waneta smiled. “He’s sweet . . . but I think he’s actually more worried about me walking home alone. I told him I’d be fine, though.”

  “He has good reason,” Lora said as she slowly made her way into the small living room. “But don’t you worry. Eddie is going to stop by in an hour. He can walk you home.”

  “Danke.” Watching as Lora curled up in her chair, her penguin pajama bottoms and worn T-shirt making her look like a teenager, Waneta said, “How are you feeling?”

  “A little better. One of my sisters came over last night. She helped me take a shower.”

  Though she was still bruised, Lora seemed to be getting around better. “I think the swelling might have gone down a little bit.”

  “I think it has, too.” Pointing to a stack of frozen vegetable bags, Lora said, “Who knew frozen peas and carrots would feel so good?”

  “They are lifesavers. My mamm swears by them,” Waneta added. “Now, how about something to drink? I can make you some tea. Or maybe something cold?”

  Lora raised an eyebrow. “You’re not going to let me do a thing, are you?”

  Already on her feet, Waneta shook her head. “Nope. I’m going to pick things up, do some dishes, and wait on you as much as you’ll let me.”

  “I can’t let you do that.”

  “Sure you can,” Waneta called out from the kitchen. “Because I want something in return.”

  “What’s that?”

  Hearing the note of worry in Lora’s voice, Waneta walked back to her side. “I want to know all about you and that deputy,” she said.

  This time it was Lora who was smiling kind of awkwardly. “I like him a lot.”

  “I can’t wait to hear all about how you two met.”

  “Does that mean I can ask about you and Mark?”

  Waneta nodded. “Jah. Because we’re friends now. I mean, if you want to be.”

  “I do,” Lora said.

  After sharing another smile, Waneta hurried back to finish making them both tall glasses of iced tea.

  In no time, James would be caught and everything would get back to normal. God ha
d given her a warm and solid relationship with Mark and a new friendship with Lora.

  Surely, He wouldn’t do such things unless He intended for things to settle down in Hart County.

  At least, she hoped that was the case.

  CHAPTER 28

  Thursday, September 8

  Three weeks had passed since Lora Weaver had identified James Eicher as her attacker. When Sheriff Brewer and Deputy Beck went to his house to arrest him for assaulting Lora Weaver, they’d discovered his wife Katie bruised and battered on their floor.

  James was still nowhere to be found.

  Katie later said that the moment James had heard that Lora had regained consciousness, he’d burst into a terrible rage.

  That was the first time she had realized what James had been doing. When she’d tried to stop him from running out the door, he’d beaten her.

  No one had any real idea where James could be. Everyone in the county seemed to have a guess—yet some people were sure that James would be hiding in Horse Cave, in one of the narrow, needle-like branches of the cavern under the town.

  Waneta figured James hiding in a cave was as good a guess as any. After all, the cavern was only about fifty percent explored. There were too many dark and unstable areas that were prone to either flooding or at risk for caving in.

  At first she and most other women in the area were on pins and needles, sure James was going to pop out of the cave’s entrance and seek vengeance on them all.

  But that hadn’t happened.

  Actually, as the days passed and inched toward September, very little did happen, with the exception of Waneta growing closer to Mark and Calvin showing up every so often, sometimes even staying the night with his brother. Things were still awkward between them, but at least they were communicating and trying to patch things up. That was something, she supposed.

  After practically shadowing Waneta everywhere for weeks, Mark had finally begun to give her more space. She was thrilled. She loved spending time with him, but she’d begun to feel a little claustrophobic.

  She usually enjoyed riding her bike or walking by herself sometimes. But her parents had insisted she take her bike to and from work. Her father pointed out that it was a little safer. She was happy to do that, and had already ridden it two times that week.