The Nanny: A Single Dad Romance

by Aria Ford

  “I love you,” Ryan whispered, half-asleep.

  My entire body froze at his words, but he didn’t seem to notice. In seconds, he was snoring. I wondered if he even realized what he said, or if it was just the mumblings of someone fast asleep.

  My heart was racing, but I didn’t know what to do. Part of me thought I should answer, say something back. A bigger part told me to stay silent, that he may not even remember this moment in the morning.

  As I finally drifted off to sleep, it was with a nervous joy spreading through my stomach. Hearing Ryan say those words meant everything to me, but I wasn’t sure how I felt about him yet. In the two weeks we’d spent together, my feelings for him deepened. I didn’t doubt how much I wanted him or how much I cared about him, but I worried that wasn’t enough. I’d never been in love before, not really. How was I supposed to know if this was love?

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  Ryan

  We pulled up to the Keetons’ house, and I cut the engine. Suddenly Jacqueline and I were thrown into a deafening silence that overwhelmed me. I managed to distract myself the entire drive down.

  Jacqueline and I talked about everything: the sex last night, her clinic, my career aspirations, everything. She never let silence fall, knowing I needed the comfort of her voice to keep me driving. As we sat in the driveway, all that comfort disappeared, and I was left trembling with fear.

  “You can do this,” Jacqueline said softly, leaning over to kiss my cheek.

  I looked at her. She was smiling an encouraging smile, but it didn’t reach her eyes. There was something else hidden there, something she didn’t want me to see. If I didn’t know any better, I would have thought she was just as afraid as me.

  That didn’t make sense, though. This was her parents’ house. If anything, this was the place where she could truly relax and be herself. Me? This place was a living reminder of the worst time in my life.

  “I don’t know if I can,” I admitted.

  “Hey,” she said, taking my face between her hands. “I’m right here. Everything will be fine.”

  She kissed me swiftly, pulling away a split second after our lips touched. With a glance at the house, she coughed nervously. I knew she was afraid someone might see us, but there was no one in sight. We sat in the truck for a few more minutes while I worked up the nerve to get out. To her credit, Jacqueline never once rushed me. She simply sat beside me, waiting until I was ready.

  When Bradley’s car pulled up behind us, we both jumped in our seats. Twisting around, we saw him climb out of the car and walk over to us. He stopped beside my window and tapped on it impatiently.

  “What are you doing?” he asked when I rolled down the window.

  “Just,” I began, but I didn’t know what to say.

  “He needs a minute,” Jacqueline explained.

  “Come on,” Bradley said. He opened my door without hesitation. “Rip off the Band-Aid, man.”

  I sighed and finally unbuckled my seatbelt. Bradley was right. Sitting here wasn’t doing anything but making my nerves worse. The longer I dwelled on what could happen, the worse things would be. I just needed to get inside and get this entire night over with.

  “We’re here for you,” Jacqueline reminded me softly as the three of us walked to the front door. “Both of us. We have your back, right Bradley?”

  “Of course,” Bradley said, his hand on the doorknob. “You ready?”

  “No,” I said.

  Bradley smiled and twisted the knob, stepping inside without knocking.

  “Hello!” he called. “We’re here!”

  “Oh!” a voice cried out from the kitchen. I recognized it immediately. When she came running around the corner, my heart stopped. “You’re here!”

  Mrs. Keeton hugged both Bradley and Jacqueline, her eyes traveling briefly over my face. When she looked at me, I could tell she was nervous too. I tried to speak, but my throat felt tight. Instead, I just stood awkwardly between Bradley and Jacqueline.

  “Hi, Mom,” Jacqueline said, glancing at me pointedly.

  “I’m so glad you could make it!” Mrs. Keeton gushed. She looked at me and added, “All of you.”

  “Thank you for inviting me,” I mumbled.

  She smiled and led the way into the kitchen. Mr. Keeton was standing over the stove. He stopped cooking long enough to shake Bradley’s hand and hug Jacqueline. He turned to me and stared for a few second, not bothering to be discreet.

  “Ryan,” he finally said. “You came.”

  “I did.”

  “Well,” he said. “Dinner’s about ready. Why don’t you kids go ahead and sit down?”

  “Sure,” Bradley said. He slapped me on the back, and we walked over to the table.

  “Not so bad,” Jacqueline whispered.

  “I think it’s going well,” Bradley added.

  “Are you going to keep up a running commentary all night?” I asked.

  “Just here for you, man,” Bradley said.

  I managed and smile and sunk into a chair.

  Being back in this house felt more than strange. Bradley, Jacqueline, and I all moved automatically to the seats that used to be ours. These were the same seats we sat in every night while I lived here. I looked around, taking in the pictures on the walls and the décor around us. Mrs. Keeton hadn’t changed much, but the pictures were new.

  Bradley smiled out from behind the glass, wearing his navy uniform. In a couple, he wore his graduation cap and gown. I smiled as my eyes fell on the photos of Jacqueline’s graduation. She looked young, beautiful, and excited. I found myself wishing I’d been there.

  The only thing missing were pictures of me. When I lived here, Mrs. Keeton made sure to keep photos of me spread throughout the house. It always made me feel special, like I was a true member of the family. Now I was nowhere to be found. Not a single picture of me hung on the wall. I wondered if they’d thrown them all away or hid them in a box somewhere, buried deep beneath a bed.

  Dinner began and the conversation moved along easily. Mr. Keeton raved about Bradley and how well he was doing here. Mrs. Keeton asked Jacqueline pointed questions about the clinic and her love life. It was a typical family dinner, and, at times, they even included me in the conversation.

  “So,” Mr. Keeton said. “Ryan, what are you doing in Richmond? For work, I mean.”

  “Nothing right now,” I admitted. “I’ve just been adjusting to civilian life.”

  “And you can afford that?” he asked.

  I swallowed hard. “Yes, I have quite a bit saved up from my time in the navy.”

  “Ryan was insane about saving,” Bradley said, laughing. “The rest of us were out blowing everything on booze while he pinched every penny.”

  “That’s smart,” Mrs. Keeton said.

  “I’ll be okay for a while longer,” I said. “I’m thinking about working as a mechanic. I’ve always loved cars.”

  “With your military experience?” Mr. Keeton asked. “Don’t you think you could get something better?”

  “Probably,” I admitted. “But it would make me happy and—”

  “I see,” Mr. Keeton interrupted.

  He exchanged a meaningful look with his wife. My stomach clenched painfully, and I looked to Jacqueline for support. She nodded encouragingly to tell me I was doing fine.

  “Listen,” I said softly. “I know it’s been a long time since we were all in the same place. Years. But I just wanted to say I’m really glad you invited me over tonight. I know things aren’t the same, but it’s nice to see you again. No matter what happened in the past, I really am happy to be here.”

  When I finished talking, my hands were shaking in my lap. I looked from Jacqueline to Bradley to see that they were both smiling. It seemed they thought my speech was good. Their parents, on the other hand, looked more uncomfortable than ever. I wanted patiently for them to speak.

  “If you would just apologize for what you did,” Mrs. Keeton said with an edge in her voice. �
�Then we could forgive you. That’s all we’ve ever wanted, for you to finally admit what you did and apologize.”

  The room froze. Both Jacqueline and Bradley stared at their mother in shock. Neither of them could believe what she just said. I wasn’t surprised. This is exactly what I’d been expecting and exactly why I didn’t want to come.

  “Apologize?” I asked weakly. “You want me to apologize?”

  “You don’t think you should?” Mr. Keeton scoffed. “Clearly, you haven’t changed.”

  “You abandoned me!” I snapped. “You took me in, told me I was family, and then you just threw me to the wolves!”

  “You deserved it!” Mr. Keeton yelled. “Don’t sit here and blame us for your screw-ups, Ryan. We did everything for you! We gave you a chance, and you threw it back in our faces. How dare you insinuate that this is our fault!”

  “You kicked me out,” I reminded him. “Remember? Tell me, if Bradley screwed up, would you have kicked him out? If he did exactly what I did, what would you have done?”

  “That’s not the point,” Mr. Keeton argued evasively.

  “It is the point,” I snapped. “You said I was your son, but you didn’t treat me like one. I made a mistake, and you just gave up one me. That’s not what parents are supposed to do.”

  “Enough,” Mrs. Keeton said, glaring at me from across the table. “You’re still just as ungrateful as ever. We loved you! We cared for you! And you did nothing to repay us.”

  “You threw me out!” I screamed.

  I couldn’t believe they were acting like this was my fault. They sat there on their high horses, looking down on me like something nasty they stepped in. In that moment, I never hated them more.

  “Stop,” Jacqueline said loudly. “Just stop it. This is not why we came here tonight.”

  “He shouldn’t have come,” Mr. Keeton said. “He was only invited because your brother insisted we try.”

  With that, I was done. I leapt up from the table and stormed out of the room.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  Jacqueline

  I watched Ryan storm out of the room with rage boiling in my veins. Part of me wanted to go after him, but I knew I was needed here more. My parents didn’t know anything. They didn’t know the truth about what happened on that night nine years ago.

  As I looked between them, I saw the anger in their faces, and it fueled my desire to finally tell them everything. I glanced at my brother who was staring at the doorway, having watched Ryan disappear. He looked conflicted and hurt, like he didn’t quite know what to do. In that moment, I knew I was the only person who could fix this.

  “It wasn’t Ryan,” I said simply. My parents looked at me, confused. “That night, it wasn’t him, okay? It was me.”

  “What was you?” Mom asked. “What are you talking about?”

  “The night Dad’s truck caught fire,” I continued. “I was playing around, trying to figure out how the engine worked. Dad kept telling me he would teach me about it, but he never did. So, I was angry and decided to teach myself. But I must have messed something up, because when I turned the key, the hood went up in flames.”

  “You’re lying,” Dad said firmly, shaking his head and getting to his feet. He paced around the room, still shaking his head. “You’re just trying to cover for him.”

  “If I was, would it have taken me this long to do it?” I snapped. “I was scared to death of what you might do when you found out what I did. I ran to the backyard, sobbing, and just waiting for you to find me. But you didn’t. Ryan did. He saw the truck and put the fire out. Then he found me hiding in the backyard.”

  “I can’t believe this,” Bradley said softly.

  “I didn’t know what to do,” I continued. “I was so young and so scared. Ryan was just trying to help me. He told me he’d already been in a lot of trouble, so this would be nothing. He said I didn’t need to worry about anything, that it would be okay. The next thing I knew, you were both screaming at him in the living room, and he was packing a bag. He left, and I didn’t see him again. Until now.”

  “Why didn’t you ever tell me this?” Bradley demanded. “I spent all this time thinking Ryan …”

  “Would it have changed anything?” I asked. “Would you have felt differently about him? Or me?”

  “No, but still,” he said.

  “I was scared, okay?” I said. “God, I was only fourteen. I didn’t know what to do. I never expected either of you to kick him out! After you did, I was scared to tell the truth because I didn’t want you to make me leave too.”

  “We would never do that,” Mom said softly.

  “But you did it with Ryan?” I snapped. “He was supposed to be your son, just like I’m your daughter.”

  “It was different!” Dad said. “Ryan was always in trouble. You don’t know half of what he put us through. He lied and he stole. He was arrested three times while he lived here! What were we supposed to do?”

  “Love him,” I said simply. “You were supposed to love him, just like you love us. He expected you to stand by him because you were his parents. Instead, you just turned your back on him. God, he didn’t deserve that!”

  “It wouldn’t have happened if you’d just told the truth!” Dad yelled.

  “So, you abandoning Ryan was my fault?” I asked with raised eyebrows. “Come on, Dad. If you hadn’t thrown him out because of the truck, it would have been something else. You don’t know how to forgive anything.”

  “That’s not true, we just—” Mom began, but I cut her off with a look.

  “I know I messed up,” I said. “I shouldn’t have let Ryan take the fall for me, okay? I know that. But at the time, I was just a kid. I could barely move after it happened, let alone talk. You have no idea how much I wish I would have told you everything years ago.”

  “But you didn’t,” Dad said. “You didn’t.”

  I shook my head. “No, I didn’t, and Ryan took the brunt of that choice. It kills me every day that I put him through that. You don’t know how much I hate myself for hurting him.”

  “It’s not your fault,” Bradley said softly. “No matter what, they shouldn’t have kicked him out.”

  “No,” I agreed. “They shouldn’t have.”

  “You both judge us so harshly, but you don’t know,” Mom said. “You don’t know the kind of person he was!”

  “I know him better than anyone,” I snapped. “I know exactly who he was back then, and I know him now. I know Ryan better than any of you. He and I … we—”

  I stopped, suddenly aware of what I was about to say. Looking at Bradley’s face, I knew it was time to tell the truth about everything. They might not understand. They may never be okay with our relationship, but they needed to know.

  “Ryan and I are together,” I said boldly. “He’s never been a brother to me, not really. Just like he was never a son to you. When we reconnected, something just clicked. We fell into a relationship so easily. We fit.”

  “What?” Bradley asked. “Is this a joke?”

  “No,” I said. “I love him. I’m in love with him.”

  “You can’t be,” Mom began.

  “I can, and I am,” I snapped. “Neither you nor Dad get to have an opinion about this. You kicked him out long before we could become brother and sister. We don’t have that bond, that connection. The connection we do have is so much more. It’s deep and it matters. He matters. If you can’t see that … if you can’t realize how wrong you’ve been, then there’s nothing left for me to say.”

  I turned to leave and stopped in my tracks. Ryan was standing in the doorway, staring at me with wide eyes. I looked at him for a second before walking forward. He took my hand and led me outside. We didn’t stop walking until we reached his truck. Climbing inside, we took off down the road, neither of us speaking.

  When Ryan finally turned to me, his eyes were dark with concern. He searched my face quickly before looking back at the road.

  “I can’t believe you
told them,” he said softly.

  “Do you wish I hadn’t?” I asked.

  “No.” He shook his head. “I wanted to tell them the second we walked into that house.”

  “I didn’t,” I admitted. “I was so scared of what they might do.”

  “What changed?” he asked.

  “The way they spoke to you,” I said with anger. “I couldn’t sit there and listen to it anymore. They don’t know you, Ryan. They obviously never did. You’re amazing and kind and smart and gentle. I don’t care what mistakes you made in the past. That’s not who you are.”

  “I know,” he said, smiling. “I’m just glad you see it.”

  “I do,” I said with earnest. “It’s my fault they kicked you out. I never should have let you take the fall.”

  “You didn’t have a choice,” he said firmly. “Jacqueline, you were a kid. God, you were only fourteen. I wasn’t going to let you go down for that. There was no way.”

  “It wasn’t fair,” I argued. “I shouldn’t have.”

  “Stop,” he said. “Just stop.”

  We fell silent again, and Ryan reached for my hand. We locked our fingers together and both stared out the windshield, just working through all the emotions we felt.

  “Did you mean what you said?” Ryan asked so softly that I barely heard him.

  “What?” I asked.

  “What you said in there,” he said. “To your parents and Brad. Did you mean it?”

  I smiled and squeezed his hand.

  “I love you,” I said. “Of course, I meant it.”

  “I love you too,” he said, glancing at me with a grin.

  I laughed. “I know. You told me last night.”

  “What?” he asked with a frown.

  “You were like half asleep,” I explained. “Or maybe completely asleep. I don’t know. You just whispered that you loved me and then started to snore.”

  He laughed. “Well, that’s romantic.”

  “It actually was,” I said. “I didn’t know what to say at the time. I wasn’t sure how I felt, but then tonight I just knew. When my parents were going off on you like that, I felt this sudden urge to protect you. That’s when I realized just how much I care for you, just how much I love you.”