By Reason of Insanity

by Rachel Sinclair

  Her voice started to crack, and she took the Kleenex and started to twist it around and around. She took a deep breath. “He told me that if I let him have my children, he would make sure that they were placed in excellent homes. He told me that he would make sure that they were well taken care of. He told me that I could start over here in America, with a lot of money. But only if I decided to go ahead and give him my children."

  She brought her hand to her lips, and she started to bite her nails. She was shaking all over. She looked out the window of my office, and cocked her head slightly. She kept taking a deep breath, over and over again. As if she was trying to choke back tears, but it was no use. She started crying in earnest, taking one Kleenex after another, as she sobbed and wailed in my office. She sounded like an animal that was dying, in a trap. The wailing, the howling, the eerie silence that came after it.

  I waited for her to give me the signal that she was ready to talk some more.

  "Okay, here's what I really don't understand. Marina spent the first seven years of her life in an orphanage. If you gave your children to this man, and he told you that he would take them and give them a good life, how did Marina end up in an orphanage?"

  "I don't know the answer to that question. All that I know is that I was desperate. I knew that if something didn't change, all of us would starve to death. All of us. There was no food in the house. No money to buy food. No clean water. There were rats in the street that were eating better than me and my children. All that I know was that this guy was giving me a chance. My children a chance. I didn't really question anything. I wanted something for them, and I couldn't give it to them. So, I went ahead and gave this man my children. And he, in exchange, got me a passage to America, and he helped me get a green card. He helped me get my citizenship. He helped me start my life here in America. He gave me $50,000. That was, in my mind, more than I ever thought I would have in my life."

  She looked me right in the eye. She was no longer crying, and she looked almost defiant. "I suppose you think that I'm a terrible person. Selling my children like that. And I am. I am. I’ve lived with that every day. And, I will admit, I did not keep track of my children. I didn't want to keep track of them. I wanted to leave it all behind me, because the guilt was overwhelming. Every single day, I would close my eyes and see their little faces, and I would break down. Absolutely break down. I couldn't function. So, I tried to detach. Disengage. That's how I didn’t know that, all these years, Marina was in an orphanage, from the age of three months until the age of seven. I didn't know any of that, until-“ And then she stopped.

  “Until what?"

  Another deep breath. "I saw her picture in the paper. It was as if I was looking at myself. She has my face. My eyes. My hair, everything. She's me. And when I saw her name in the paper, I knew that she was the child I had given up all those years ago. It broke my heart to find out what had happened to her over the years. I really did think that when I was giving her over to that man that they both were going to have a good life.

  That man promised that to me. He gave me his word that he was going to make sure that Olga and Marina were adopted out by a loving American family. And Marina, obviously she was not. I mean, she was adopted by a good family, but only when she was seven years old. I read in the paper about what she went through when she was little baby. When she was small child. What she went through in that orphanage. The sexual abuse, neglect, starvation. The physical abuse. I broke down when I found out about it. When I read all about her life in the paper, I just broke down. I couldn't take it. I couldn’t take knowing that I was responsible for her having such a life. And here I was, living the good life in America. I met a nice man, a neurosurgeon, over at Sharp Hospital. We have an amazing life. But I couldn't pretend anymore that I did not have daughters. Not when I knew that one of my daughters ended up being accused of murdering her husband.

  I also know that she has a lot of mental problems. I hired a private detective. I know about the arson, the fights she has started, the assaults that she has perpetrated on other people, all the times that she's been arrested. I know that the reason why she turned out the way that she did was because she did not have the love of parents, and in fact, all she had in the orphanage was abuse. From the age of three months until the age of seven, that's all she experienced. Abuse. And I talked to enough psychiatrists about her to know that when a child has a start like that in life, they don't have a chance. They’re broken inside."

  She was crying again. She licked her lips. And then she looked out the window again.

  "My daughter is broken because of me. And now I'm broken too. I'm fractured too. I have a hole in my heart, just as she has a hole in hers. I can't look at myself in the mirror. Just the sight of myself in the mirror makes me sick. I can't stand the fact that I did what I did."

  I tapped my fingers on the desk. "What about Oksana? Do you know about her?"

  She sighed a little bit. "Well that's just the thing. Oksana, she was adopted out by a nice American family. That man, he brought her over to America. He arranged for a private adoption with a wealthy family on Fifth Avenue in New York City. She had the life that I always hoped that both of my daughters would have. A father who’s a psychotherapist, a loving mother who stayed home with her. They gave her everything that I ever wanted for both of my girls. I don't know, I really thought that both girls would have gone to the same nice wealthy family. I really hoped that they would have. But they didn't. Obviously."

  Her story was extremely curious. To say the very least. So, two little girls. One was locked in an orphanage, the other one was placed in a good home with a wealthy family right here in America. And there was a mysterious man who arranged all of it.

  "So Oksana, she was placed with a good family, right away?"

  "Yes. That's right. She was. From the moment I gave her over to that man, she was with this new family here in America."

  "Where is she now?"

  "She's living here in San Diego. She's living in a slum in the Barrio. She's posing as a boy, and she has a lot of problems too. She even changed her name, to a boy’s name. Brock. I guess that she’s into drugs. Meth. Addicted for many years now.” She shook her head. “I don’t understand it. Why did Oksana end up like that? She had everything.”

  I thought about Regina, and how she went to see a boy, a guy in Barrio Logan whose name was Brock. I wondered if it was the same guy. That actually made a lot of sense, because Regina could never understand exactly how it was this boy was related to Regina. Why it was that Regina would be hanging out with someone like that.

  I knew that I was going to have to talk with this Brock person. It was strange, though, but Regina didn’t mention any kind of resemblance that he had with Marina. Then again, if you live a life where you're addicted to meth, you lose all your teeth, you become extremely skinny, and if you are also transgendered, it's understandable that you wouldn’t look the same anymore. So, just because this Brock person did not resemble Regina, didn’t mean that he was not the person who was formerly known as Oksana.

  "And, I'm so sorry, I know that you said there was a man who arranged all of this for you. The adoption, everything. Can you tell me who that person was?”

  “Of course. His name was Charles. Charles Weber.”

  Chapter 23

  Dr. Weber? Suddenly, pieces of the puzzle were falling together. Coming together like crazy. I still didn't have the entire picture, but I had a piece of it.

  "He's a scientist, isn't he?"

  "Yes. He is a scientist. He is working over at this place called Pegasus. Doing twin studies. He’s the head of that. I know he also knows a lot about what's going on with that company with their efforts to do human cloning. I find human cloning sick. I mean, I do understand that it's something that people want to do, in the future. It’s useless, I think, but some people want to do it, just because they want to make another version of themselves. Maybe because they think that they're just so wonderful that there
should be another one of them. That's the only thing I can think of. That's the only reason why I can think that anybody would do something like that."

  By now, Olga was much calmer. I went over to the water machine, and poured a glass of water for her, and one for me, and then I sat back down.

  "I hate to say this, but I completely agree with you. I talked with this guy, and all that I can say is that the dude is way creepy. I think he wants to have some kind of a master race. And, I think I know what happened to your daughters. I think I know the reason why it is that they were separated the way that they were. And, I think I know the reason why Marina that was left in an orphanage."

  "Why? Why would that have happened?"

  "I don't know for sure. But I think I do need to talk to the adoptive parents of your other daughter, Oksana. Can you give me their phone number, addresses, anything?"

  She went to get a pad of paper out of her purse, and wrote something down. "Here. Their names are Sylvia and Harry Jacobs. They live in New York City. They haven't spoken with their daughter in years. They have not kept track of her all these years. I know this because I contacted them when I tracked everybody down, my private investigator found them, and Oksana and Marina and everybody. And so I was able to talk to them. They told me that Oksana is somebody that they don't even know anymore. They haven’t known her for years. But you can go ahead and talk to them, if you think it can help you any."

  "Are they somehow associated with Dr. Weber, by any chance?"

  "Associated, in what way?"

  “Did they know him?"

  "I don't know the answer to that question. I really don’t.”

  Somehow, I thought that the Jacobs probably did know Dr. Weber. It was obvious what happened – Dr. Weber was studying Marina and Oksana to see what would happen if one child was completely neglected, abused, physically and sexually, and not given any kind of love or care for the first seven years of her life. And then compare that twin with the other, who was given everything she wanted.

  I had to admit, it seemed a bit ironic. The family that adopted Oksana were obviously people of means. They were smarter than everybody else, they had better genes to pass on their kids, and I was sure that Dr. Weber just assumed that they would provide a better home than everybody else. But it seemed that, no matter what happened in this situation, no matter how many riches and privileges Oksana was given, she still turned out to be somebody who was living in poverty. She renounced her parents, obviously. And now she was living in a slum. According to Regina, she had no teeth, probably lost to meth.

  I had to wonder exactly what the study of the Vasiliev twins told Dr. Weber, and how he wrote it up. Marina was the one who ended up living in wealth. Granted, it was not her wealth. It was given to her, by her husband, and she was earning a large salary from him every year.

  But she was living in a very nice home, surrounded by all the luxuries that Dr. Weber would envy. And Oksana, she was the one who ended up in the slums.

  I knew that I needed to talk to the Jacobs to find out exactly what happened with the Vasiliev girls.

  Chapter 24

  Aidan

  "Aidan, I think I was fired," Regina said to me when I went over to her condo to ask her if she would be willing to go to New York City with me. I was going to go there to talk to Harry and Sylvia Jacobs about what they knew about Oksana Vasiliev.

  I knew that she was fired, not that I wanted that. But, I wanted to do nothing more than spend the weekend with the woman I was falling in love with, and show her around, because I knew that she had never been there before, and I had been. Several times. Not that I knew the city like the back of my hand, but I did have a good grasp on the subway system, which was half the battle in that city.

  I had been thinking about her almost all the time. I could not get the thought of waking up next to her beautiful naked body out of my head. I was going out of my mind trying to figure out how to make that happen again. So, when I decided that I was going to visit Sylvia and Harry Jacobs, and they agreed to meet with me, and I got my plane ticket to New York City, I knew that I wanted to have a companion there. The companion I wanted was Regina.

  "You have been fired, but I was kind of hoping that you would go with me anyways,” I said. “I was going to treat it like a vacation for you. I know you've never been there before, and trust me, you haven't lived until you've gone to New York City."

  "Is there any money in this for me?" Regina wanted to know. She raised an eyebrow. "Listen, I know you're going to go see people out there, talk to them. And trust me, you need someone to come along with you. But when I say that, I mean that you need someone to come along with you and actually do some work. It’s high time that you talk to your client about rehiring me. Because if you just want me to go out there and swim in some kind of rooftop pool, tanning my cheeks while you gallivant around New York City talking to this person and that person, then you can forget it. I work for money. And that's it."

  "Okay, I'll talk to Marina about re-hiring you. Listen, when she insisted that that you were going to be off the case, she was in kind of a weird mood. You have to understand one thing about Marina – she's very changeable. Her moods are very changeable, and so are her thoughts. Maybe I can catch her on a better day, and she can go and talk to James about rehiring you. If she will agree to that, will you come with me?"

  “Of course. I could use the cash. And, you're right, I’ve never been to New York City, and it would be a fun thing to do. But I’m not going unless I'm getting paid."

  So, I had to go and see Marina, and see if she would be amenable to hiring Regina back. I also wanted to ask about Oksana. But not until I spoke with Sylvia and Harry and found out as much information from them as I possibly could. I had a feeling that they were going to know much more about this whole situation than I thought they would.

  I did my research and found out that Harry Jacobs was a psychotherapist with an office on Fifth Avenue. He apparently treated very wealthy people, for Harry was worth millions.

  When I found out that the guy was a psychotherapist, my radar immediately pinged. Since he was a psychotherapist, he probably knew Dr. Weber and the two of them were probably in on this whole situation. At least, that was my feeling about it. I personally thought that Sylvia and Harry Jacobs were probably as guilty as anybody, complicit in this entire scheme. However, I was going to reserve judgment until I talked to them.

  I asked Marina to come to my office, because I wanted her to know what I found out. However, I didn’t want to necessarily tell her that I saw her mother. Olga told me that Marina still did not know of her existence. She still didn’t know that she was alive. Marina still thought, after all this time, that her mother had been killed in a car accident along with her father, Vladimir. I didn’t want to tell Marina about her mother, because I didn’t know how she would react. It might break her to know that her mother essentially sold her. So, I decided to wait to tell her what I knew. At any rate, I was going to have to talk to her psychotherapist about whether or not I should tell Marina that her mother was alive. I certainly did not want to do that to her if that was something that was going to destroy her even more.

  Chapter 25

  I invited Marina to come to my office, and she showed up the next day. I had to ask her if I could rehire Regina.

  She was smiling when she saw me. "You wanted to see me?"

  "Yes. I did want to see you. Listen, I wanted to ask you some questions about Regina Baldwin. She's the investigator I was using and you made me fire her. I was going to go to New York City to interview some witnesses, and I wanted to take Regina along with me."

  She lay back in her chair. "I don't want you to be having sex with her. I don't want you doing that, because I think that you belong to me." As she looked out the window, it looked like she was absolutely serious when she said those things. "I had a dream about you last night. It was such a good dream. I think that after all this is over with, and, assuming I'm not in prison, or
in a mental institution, I think that you and I can probably make it work. Do you think?"

  I shook my head. "Marina, I think we've gone through this before. You're my client, I'm your lawyer. There are rules about this sort of thing. And I don't plan on breaking them, not for you. Not for anybody."

  She lifted her face and cocked her head, and kind of studied me, her blue eyes shining. "Well, you’re going to come around to my way of thinking. I know you are going to. And maybe you need to get that other person, that Regina, out of your system. That's what somebody told me needed to happen here. I was talking to a friend of mine, about you and me. And I told this person that the thought of you with that gorgeous woman, Regina, makes me feel nauseated. Sick to my stomach. It tears at my heart to see you around her. But my friend, she told me that I can't hold on too tightly. I always hold on too tightly to everybody, and that's the reason why they always leave me. I just try to grip them in my hands, keep them on a short leash, and they don't like it. So she told me that I needed to kind of let the leash out a little bit on you. Let you see the world and other women, and then you can understand that you're supposed to be with me."

  I felt defeated. I let out my breath. It was obvious that what I was saying to this woman was falling on deaf ears. She obviously had some kind of illusion that she and I were in a relationship, and there was nothing I could really do to tell her that that was not the case. She wasn't going to listen to me.

  But, it did sound like she was willing to let me hire back Regina. Whoever it was that was advising her told her that it was best that she give me my freedom to do what I needed to do. Therefore, I was going to leap on that suggestion.