Too Far

by Jason Starr

  Maria’s eyes showed she was processing this. Then she said, ‘I have no idea where you’re going with this.’

  ‘What did you buy at Bloomingdales that day?’ I asked.

  ‘Um, a blouse, I think,’ she said.

  ‘You think?’

  ‘I mean, yes, I bought a blouse. And I’m not sure why I used that card. Maybe I used it by accident. Why? What difference does it make?’

  ‘I think the amount is odd,’ I said. ‘Ninety-six cents.’

  ‘What’s odd about ninety-six cents?’

  ‘If you’d bought one item, like a blouse, the price would’ve ended in ninety-nine. The six indicates you bought four items. There’s no sales tax in New York State on a single item of clothing under one hundred and ten dollars.’

  ‘I think you’re being absolutely ridiculous now, Jack. Maybe you need medication.’

  Now I was the one looking at her intensely.

  ‘I mean, who the hell cares what I bought?’ she said. ‘What does that have to do with –’

  ‘One fifty-nine ninety-six is about the price of four ties, if the ties were thirty-nine ninety-nine each. There’s no tax on clothes at that price in New York State.’

  ‘I’m calling Bellevue,’ she said. ‘Right now.’

  I grabbed her phone from her.

  ‘Hey, give that back,’ she said.

  ‘You went to the townhouse that day before I got there. It’s possible to zig-zag up the block and avoid any camera on the street, and that’s what you did. I don’t know exactly what happened at the house, but I imagine you confronted Sophie, killed her by smashing the vase over her head, and then wound a tie around her neck. You put the other ties in Sophie’s bag to make it look like she’d brought them, then you left the way you came. It was probably just a few minutes before I arrived. Of course, you knew exactly what time I’d arrive, because you’re FUGITIVE_RED.’

  I watched her reaction. Her smirk convinced me I was right about everything.

  ‘It started the night I went out for a walk and left my laptop open,’ I continued, on a roll. ‘You assumed I was cheating and even though you’re a cheater yourself, you felt like I’d betrayed you – I know how your mind works. That’s when you, or maybe you and Lawrence, came up with your plan. It was the perfect way to get rid of his wife so you two could be together. As a bonus you could set me up for the murder. All you had to do was become FUGITIVE_RED. I admit, you did a good job of sucking me in. I had no idea I was chatting with my wife those nights, but in retrospect it all makes sense. You were never in the same room with me when I was online, and who else would know how to become the perfect mirror for me? It was just like when I met you for the first time, when you were suddenly into rock music and you were my biggest fan. You’d preconditioned me for more abuse. But I don’t blame you as much as I blame myself. I’m the one who fell for it. I actually thought I was connecting with Sophie, but I once thought I was connecting with you, too. I guess that’s the whole point, right? I was the perfect sucker for your plan because you already knew exactly how to manipulate me.

  ‘During all those chat sessions, I really thought I’d found my dream girl, kind of like when I first met you. The name FUGITIVE_RED should’ve been a dead giveaway. If I wasn’t so caught up in the excitement of connecting with someone, of getting some relief from our shitty marriage, I might’ve picked up on these things. You knew I’d read that article on fugitive reds in the Times magazine. You wanted me to think, Wow, and we both love Van Gogh, it’s like we’re soulmates. Love fades – that was a nice touch there. You know my weak spots so well, Maria. The joke was definitely on me. All that time I was cheating on my wife, I was really cheating with my wife. You knew exactly how to sext with me, because you talked about all the things you were never into doing. Who better to become my fantasy woman than the woman who knows me better than anybody?’

  Maria had stood up during my monologue. She was facing me, staring at me with her wide, empty eyes. I’d seen this look at times over the years, usually when I criticized her for something and she felt hurt. It was like a mask came off – her charm vanished, and she was suddenly showing me her true self. For years, I’d refused to believe that this was the real her, though. I wanted her to be the woman I’d fallen in love with – I wanted to believe she was the mask.

  Unfortunately, the mask had been a fantasy, no more real than FUGITIVE_RED.

  Maria laughed, shaking her head, then said, ‘You deserved it.’

  Although I’d seen Maria’s mask come off before, the coldness still startled me.

  ‘How did I deserve it?’ I asked.

  ‘You think it’s been easy being married to you?’ She laughed again, though her eyes remained expressionless. Then she said, ‘Where would you be without me? How many years did I have to support you because of your stupid music career that was going nowhere? If it weren’t for me, you’d still be wasting your time as a washed-up musician. On top of that you checked out with your drinking – and you think I have problems? You were so self-centered you didn’t even notice me for years. And how about when you got drunk and had that fight with that club manager? I had to carry you through that too.’

  ‘You think you’re the big victim, huh?’ I said.

  ‘You’re damn right I’m the victim,’ she said. ‘That’s why I had no choice but to get involved with Lawrence Ward and all those other men.’

  My stomach tightened. ‘Other men?’

  ‘You think Lawrence was the first? How naïve are you? I’ve had dozens of men over the years. I was even fucking two other guys when we got married. How does that make you feel?’

  ‘Sorry for you,’ I said.

  ‘Bullshit,’ she said. ‘I can see how hurt you are right now. I love it – it makes me feel so justified. It’s funny how you were so focused on Steve. He’s another idiot who believes I’m in love with him.’

  I’d seen Maria’s mask slip off before, but I’d never seen this much darkness. I stared at her, then said, ‘I’ve always known you were a narcissist, but I had no idea I was married to a full-blown psycho.’

  Her eyes looked dead again.

  ‘I never said I was nice.’ She let that linger for several seconds, with a proud smirk, then added, ‘Okay, it’s true about me and Lawrence – we had a thing going for years, and you were totally clueless. Lawrence hated his wife and I hated you – I guess in that way alone we were perfect for each other. We knew we had to find some way to be together. Me getting rid of you wasn’t the problem since you obviously would’ve welcomed a divorce. Sophie was the problem. They didn’t have a prenup and he would’ve lost at least half of his money and everything he owned to her. He’d thought about killing her, but he didn’t know how he could get away with it.

  ‘Then, that night, I saw your laptop open to that adultery site – talk about passive-aggressive! Typical Jack Harper – you’re unhappy and you act out. If not with alcohol, with something. But I knew I’d stumbled on to the perfect way to solve all of our problems. I texted Lawrence and we came up with a plan. He could get rid of his wife and keep all his money, and I’d get rid of you. It was brilliant. All I had to do was become FUGITIVE_RED.’

  ‘So you admit it,’ I said. ‘You killed Sophie Ward.’

  ‘I just did what I had to do.’

  I hoped my phone was recording all of this.

  ‘Besides, it was all your fault,’ she said. ‘You had the balls to post a picture that I’d taken of you on a website for cheaters. Seriously, what kind of man does that? A sick man, that’s who. And how about when I asked you if you still loved your wife and you said no? That hurt – it reminded me of how you had checked out of the marriage and deserted me.’

  ‘So you did all of this, killed a woman and set me up for it, for what purpose?’ I asked. ‘Just to get back at me for something I didn’t even do to you?’

&n
bsp; ‘Fucking up your life was just a bonus,’ Maria said. ‘We knew the police would find your chat logs with FUGITIVE_RED, and it would only help that you sounded gleeful about cheating on me. We almost had to bail on the whole plan, though. It was when you wanted to talk on the phone before meeting. I could’ve tried to disguise my voice, or gotten someone at my office to pretend to be Sophie Ward, but both options seemed too risky. Luckily I was able to talk you out of the idea.’

  ‘There’s still one thing I don’t get,’ I said. ‘The way Sophie was dressed. She was in a negligee at the townhouse, when I found her there. If it was really you the whole time, why would the real Sophie have been dressed like that? Why would she have been at the townhouse at all?’

  ‘She thought she was meeting her husband at the townhouse. That was part of our plan – Lawrence had convinced her that he wanted to reconcile, and he told her to wait for him – Lawrence could be incredibly charming when he wanted to be. Guess we had that in common too.’

  ‘What about Anthony?’ I asked.

  ‘Oh, that was totally your fault.’

  ‘My fault?’

  ‘Who else? If you didn’t get him involved he wouldn’t be dead. Lawrence had to get rid of him before he went to the police.’

  ‘He wasn’t a guy,’ I said. ‘He was a great guy. He was my friend.’

  ‘He was an addict who’d been in prison.’

  ‘So according to you that makes killing him okay?’

  ‘Look who’s talking – you killed Lawrence. Now he was a great guy.’

  ‘Yeah, a great guy who’d plotted to kill his wife.’

  ‘I don’t hear you taking any responsibility for anything,’ Maria said. ‘But taking responsibility’s not exactly your strong suit, is it?’

  ‘Anthony had a family.’ My voice was wavering. ‘A family who loved him.’

  Before I could react, she grabbed my phone.

  ‘Hey,’ I said.

  ‘You think I’m an idiot?’ she said. ‘You think I didn’t know you were recording all this? I knew something was up, as soon as you arranged for Jonah to go to the sitter’s. Maybe you think I’m that oblivious wife you ignored for years, then tried to cheat on so callously. You thought you were so clever, didn’t you, sneaking around behind my back, but face it, Jack, you’ve always been at least two steps behind me.’

  I lunged for the phone again, but she moved back and I squeezed air.

  She glanced at the phone. ‘Yep, just as I’d expected.

  She was near the open living room window. I knew what she was about to do, but before I could react, it was too late.

  ‘No!’ I screamed as she tossed my phone out.

  From twelve stories up, the phone would almost certainly smash when it hit the ground. With her gleeful smile, it was clear that the least of Maria’s concerns was that the phone might hit someone on the head and injure, or even kill, someone.

  ‘Looks like now it’s my word against yours,’ Maria said, ‘and who do you think the police would believe? A responsible, working mom, or an unemployed ex-mental patient?’

  Her expression changed from twisted to seductive as she moved closer to me.

  ‘Don’t worry, I’m not mad at you, Jack. I know how much pressure you’ve been under lately and I certainly know about your history of bad decision-making. I know how bad you must feel for causing all of this tumult. But I’m willing to forgive and forget if you will.’

  She kissed me, sliding her tongue into my mouth.

  Then she pulled back and said, ‘Everything is so good with us now. We had a rough spot, but we got through it. Come on, think about all the positives. We have Jonah, we have each other, and we have money. Money was always such a big issue for us. We can make a down payment on an apartment, take a trip to wherever we want. How about Paris or Venice? That’s what we need – a fun, relaxing getaway. How about over Christmas? We can leave Jonah with a friend, go away for a week. Have romantic walks during the day and fuck all night. I know you want that, Jack.’

  She squatted in front of me and unbuckled my belt. When she unsnapped my jeans, I kneed her in the face. She toppled over onto her back.

  ‘Stay the fuck away from me,’ I said.

  Although blood was dripping from her nose, she didn’t seem stunned. If anything, she seemed pleased.

  Maria, back on her knees, smiling now even though blood was dripping over her mouth, said, ‘You really think beating me up is going to help your situation?’

  ‘I didn’t beat you up.’

  ‘It sure as hell looks like you did. I’ll tell them that you snapped, called me all kinds of horrible names, and they’ll send you right back to Bellevue. And they might not let you out this time.’

  I hated that she was right.

  ‘I’ll tell them what you did,’ I said. ‘I have evidence.’

  ‘What evidence? A credit card bill? A phone bill? You think that’ll actually prove anything?’

  ‘I’ll get more,’ I said. ‘The cops’ll find more when I tell them where to look.’

  ‘They won’t believe you.’ Maria was back on her feet now, blood dripping off her chin. ‘Face it, you’re not a reliable person, Jack. You never have been. You’re a violent alcoholic with an arrest record. You tried to kidnap your son from school.’

  ‘You’re just twisting it again,’ I said. ‘You’re the insane one, not me.’

  ‘Everybody thinks that I’m a loving, devoted wife, a victim.’

  ‘You’re a fucking monster.’

  She came toward me. ‘You killed somebody too, Jack.’

  ‘That was self-defense.’

  ‘Killing is killing,’ she said. ‘Face it, you’re a violent man, Jack. You proved it tonight when you punched your poor, battered wife in the nose. With your police record and mental history, how will that look?’ She was so close our noses were almost touching. ‘You liked listening to my confession. I could tell – it turned you on. Just like our chats turned you on, when you thought I was FUGITIVE_RED. You have a dark, twisted, sadistic side, Jack. You try to hide it, but face it – you’re just like me.’

  ‘I’m nothing like you,’ I said. ‘Thank fucking God.’

  I turned away from her and went toward the kitchen.

  Big mistake.

  I didn’t feel any pain.

  Just the impact on my head before everything went dark.

  24

  The pain hit when I opened my eyes. My head hurt like hell. I felt dizzy and nauseous and had no idea where I was.

  Then I recognized the stove and refrigerator and realized I was lying on the kitchen floor. A burly uniformed cop was kneeling in front of me, asking questions I couldn’t understand.

  I tried to speak, but couldn’t find the words.

  ‘You’re okay,’ the cop said, ‘but you have to stay still.’

  ‘Muh… muh,’ I said.

  ‘What’s that?’ he asked.

  ‘Muh… muh… Maria,’ I said.

  ‘Who’s Maria?’

  ‘My… w… wife. Where is she?’

  ‘We’ll find your wife, okay?’

  I tried to get up, but he held me down.

  ‘Whoa, pal, you can’t move till EMS comes here and checks you out. But you’re conscious and talking – those are good signs.’

  I saw that Hector, the building’s super, was in the vestibule; he’d probably let the cop into the apartment.

  ‘Have you seen my wife?’ I asked Hector.

  ‘The doorman saw her leaving,’ he said. ‘She had blood on her so he called the cops.’

  ‘You have to find her,’ I said to the officer. ‘She’s dangerous.’

  ‘Did your wife do this to you?’

  ‘Yes,’ I said, ‘and she also killed a woman, Sophie Ward.’

  ‘The murder downtown
?’ he said.

  ‘Right,’ I said. ‘She did it. I have evidence and… you have to call Detective Nick Barasco and let him know what’s going on.’

  ‘We’ll get to the bottom of it, don’t worry.’

  Then I had a thought that terrified me.

  ‘My son,’ I said. ‘I have to get my son.’

  I tried to get up again, but he still wouldn’t let me.

  ‘Where’s your son?’ the cop asked. ‘Is your son in the apartment?’

  ‘No… babysitter,’ I managed to say. ‘Upstairs.’

  I told him Carly’s apartment number.

  ‘We’ll make sure he’s okay,’ the cop said.

  ‘Was my wife alone when she left?’ I asked.

  ‘I don’t know,’ Hector said.

  ‘You have to check now,’ I said to the cop. ‘Please.’

  ‘My partner’s in the lobby, and she’ll be up here any second with EMS. When she gets here I’ll have her check on your son, okay?’

  ‘Lemme call the babysitter at least.’

  ‘You have to stay still right now,’ the cop said. ‘Moving can be dangerous until you get checked out.’

  ‘Can you call her?’ I asked.

  The EMS workers arrived with the other police officer.

  ‘Can you go check on his son?’ the male cop said to her.

  He told her the apartment number and she left. My pulse was pounding as I was imagining the worst – Maria had taken him somewhere. Or worse – maybe she’d killed him. Who knew what that woman was capable of?

  A few minutes later she returned and said, ‘Your son’s fine.’

  ‘Thank God,’ I said. ‘But he can’t be alone. My wife can come and try to take him away.’

  ‘Okay, let’s just try to stay calm right now,’ the cop said.

  ‘I’m telling you, she’s dangerous. You have to find her. Call Nick Barasco.’

  ‘Right now, you’re just gonna have to stay still and do what I tell you to do,’ the cop said. ‘Is that understood?’

  Although I didn’t have any life-threatening issues, I was told that I’d probably suffered a concussion and had to go to the hospital for observation. I was able to leave the apartment by foot, walking alongside the cops and an EMS worker.