Pearl And Derek Mysteries - Box Set 1

by Gillian Larkin

  “How peculiar.”

  “It gets even more peculiar,” Derek went on. “This very same man came back to the travel agent’s a few months later and booked a luxury cruise for two. Janice took the booking and asked who was going. The man was quite nasty about it and said he wasn’t taking his misery of a wife, he was taking his girlfriend.” Derek leant back in his chair. “What do you think about that?”

  Pearl leant back too. “Well! I don’t know what to think. Who is this man? And who is the mystery girlfriend? And what’s she got to do with Gabby?”

  “That’s what I was thinking. I wondered if the mystery girlfriend could be Lydia or Mona. They wouldn’t want everyone to know they were having an affair with a married man. I wondered if Gabby had found out about a possible affair.”

  “Ooo! Yes. That could be it.”

  Derek gave her a half-smile. “Then I thought about how the man described his wife. I knew that whoever killed Gabby had been at Lydia’s party. They must have confronted her there. I needed to find out who was at the party so I had a look online to see if anyone had posted any photographs.”

  “Did you find anything?”

  “I certainly did. It seems that people post photographs for any event nowadays. Thank goodness.” He stood up. “Come with me into the living room. My laptop is in there. Wait until you see what I’ve found.” He waggled his eyebrows in a dramatic fashion.

  Pearl followed him through to the living room and sat next to him on the sofa. Derek opened his laptop and showed her the photographs that he’d discovered. He pointed out the relevant ones to Pearl.

  Pearl nodded in understanding. “I see. It all makes sense now. Of course it would be her. What are you going to do about this?”

  “I’ll have to have it out with her. But I don’t want to do that on my own. I need someone to witness her confession.” He told Pearl his plan. He gave a heavy sigh. “Pearl, I think I’ll have to tell the others that I can see ghosts. I can’t see any other way around it. What do you think?”

  “I think you’re right. They might believe you. Or they might take pity on you and think you’ve lost your mind. Either way, I think they’ll go along with your plan.”

  Derek reached for his phone. “We’ll see what happens.”

  Chapter 14

  Derek was at Lydia’s hairdresser’s again the next morning. It was eight o’clock and the hairdresser’s wasn’t officially open yet.

  Derek felt uncomfortable as Lydia and Mona stared at him. He’d told them about his ability to see ghosts and he wasn’t sure that either one believed him. He could see from the sympathy on their faces that they felt sorry for him. Still, he was content to have their pity if that meant they went along with his plan.

  There was a knock at the door.

  Lydia steeled herself. “She’s here. Are you sure about this, Derek? It seems so unlikely.”

  “Not that unlikely,” Mona said. “Let’s see what she has to say.”

  Lydia unlocked the door and let her invited customer in.

  Mrs Lilac stepped into the building and gave Lydia a smug look. “I can’t say I was surprised to get your phone call. A free haircut was the least I expected. I should claim for emotional distress after the way you treated me yesterday.”

  Lydia’s voice was tight as she said, “Yes. Mrs Lilac, as I explained on the phone, I am very sorry for the way I treated you. Please, take a seat. Let me take your coat and bag.”

  “Be careful with my coat. It’s got to last another ten years. I haven’t got the money to buy a new one.” She shrugged out of her coat and handed it to Lydia, along with her handbag. She noticed the other people in the room. “Ms Coleman? What are you doing here? Come to apologise I expect. And so you should.” She sniffed when her attention landed on Derek. “What’s he doing here? Did you insult him too? Is he having a free haircut as well?”

  “Good morning, Mrs Lilac,” Derek said pleasantly. “I just stopped by for a chat. You know how it is, being on your own. I love listening to the chatter in this place.” He laughed. “I know I shouldn’t say this, but I love a bit of gossip too! Don’t you like a bit of gossip, Mrs Lilac?”

  Mrs Lilac gave him a look of disapproval. “No. I don’t like gossip. It’s nothing more than lies. Is someone going to get me a cup of coffee?”

  Mona pulled out a chair. “I’ll get you one in a moment. Please take a seat. Lydia will be with you in a moment. You don’t mind if Mr Quill sits next to you, do you?”

  Mrs Lilac sat down. “Doesn’t make any difference to me, as long as he’s not going to natter on all the time.”

  Derek took the seat next to Mrs Lilac. Lydia put a cover around Mrs Lilac’s shoulders. Derek noticed Lydia’s hands shaking. He’d better get on with his questions.

  He chuckled and placed his hands in his lap. “I used to get all my gossip from that young girl who worked here, Gabby. Bless her soul. You wouldn’t believe the things that people told her! Who they were having affairs with, how they were claiming for overtime when they shouldn’t be. Even,” he gave Mrs Lilac a direct stare, “when they’d won a great deal of money on the lottery.”

  Mrs Lilac stiffened in her chair. She looked straight forward at her own reflection. Lydia’s hands shook even more and she took a step backwards. Mona put her hand on Lydia’s arm as if to steady her.

  Derek wasn’t sure of all his facts. He was hoping that he would hit upon some of the truth. He carried on, “Gabby told me about one customer who had won the lottery but didn’t want to tell anyone, particularly her own husband. She didn’t want to share her money with anyone.”

  Mrs Lilac didn’t move but Derek saw a muscle twitch in her jaw. He must be somewhere near the truth. He quickly glanced around the room hoping to see two ghosts. He could do with their support. Pearl and Gabby were nowhere to be seen.

  Derek said, “This customer was particularly mean and, even with all that money, she wouldn’t leave a tip for her friendly hairdresser.” He shrugged. “I suppose people can do what they want with their money. Gabby said this customer made her promise not to tell anyone about her lottery win. But then Gabby saw this customer’s husband looking at cruises in a travel agent’s window. Gabby assumed the husband now knew about the lottery win if he was looking at cruises. She took a picture of him because she was dying to tell everyone about the lottery win.” He frowned. “Perhaps that was the wrong expression. Gabby wanted especially to tell her hard-working cousin, Lydia. Lydia gave this customer a discount because she thought this customer was down on her luck. When, in reality, this customer was taking advantage of Lydia.”

  Mrs Lilac made to stand up. “I think I’ll be going now. I’ve got somewhere to go.”

  Mona shot forward and pushed Mrs Lilac back into her seat. “You’re going nowhere.”

  Derek said, “Gabby spoke to the man outside the travel agent’s and congratulated him on the lottery win. He didn’t know anything about it but he thanked Gabby for letting him know. What did your husband say to you when he got home, Mrs Lilac?”

  Mrs Lilac snarled at Derek, “I don’t have to tell you anything!”

  Derek said calmly, “ But you did tell Gabby about the money, didn’t you?”

  “That silly cow should have kept her nose out of my business. My money is nothing to do with anyone else! I knew I shouldn’t have said anything to her, she never could keep her gob shut!”

  Derek shared a look with Lydia. Tears were rolling down her cheeks. Derek carried on, “I heard that your husband left you.”

  “Yes he did! As soon as he got half my money he was off. He ran off with his tarty girlfriend! Went on a cruise with my money! And now he’s suing me for emotional distress because I never told him about my win. This is all Gabby’s fault.” Her eyes narrowed. “She should have kept quiet.”

  “Is that why you killed her?” Derek asked.

  Mrs Lilac’s mouth lifted at one corner. Derek was shocked by the malice in her eyes. “I didn’t kill her.”

/>   Gabby suddenly appeared with Pearl at Derek’s side. She quietly said, “She did kill me. I went to the shop to buy some food for Lydia’s party. Mrs Lilac was there. She invited herself to the party. She followed me all around the house. She was furious about her husband finding out about her money.” Gabby frowned and rubbed her throat. “She forced me into Lydia’s room. She pushed some chewing gum in my mouth. It tasted funny.”

  Derek gave Gabby a brief nod. He turned his attention back to Mrs Lilac. “You were at Lydia’s party. There are photos of you online. You followed Gabby around the house. It’s clear from the photos that you were arguing with her.”

  “So what? That doesn’t prove anything.”

  “You gave her some chewing gum. It caused her to choke and die. Did you watch her die? Did you replace the poisoned chewing gum with a normal one?”

  “I … I … don’t have to answer to you!” Mrs Lilac tried to stand up again.

  Lydia cried out, “Yes you do! You killed my beautiful cousin! All because you wanted to keep your money to yourself!”

  “You can’t prove anything,” Mrs Lilac shot her a filthy look.

  Mona was holding up Mrs Lilac’s bag. She tipped the contents on to the floor. Mrs Lilac gasped and jumped to her feet. She ran towards the contents but Mona got there first.

  Mona held up a packet of chewing gum. “Is this the poisoned gum?” She inspected it. “It looks almost real. Where did you get it from? The Internet? And why are you stupid enough to still have it in your bag?”

  Derek spoke, “Were you going to kill Lydia? Or Mona? Were you going to kill them because they upset you yesterday?”

  Mrs Lilac turned her head slowly towards him and smiled. “I was going to kill you. I’ve been following you. I knew you were asking about my husband. I knew you were up to something. I was going to force you to eat it, just like I forced that nosy cow to eat it.” She gave a nasty laugh. “She can’t spread any gossip now, can she? Serves her right.”

  Pearl and Lydia threw themselves at Mrs Lilac at the same time. Pearl’s fist went right through Mrs Lilac but Lydia’s fist connected with Mrs Lilac’s jaw.

  Mrs Lilac screamed and her hand flew to her jaw. She shouted, “I’ll sue you for that!”

  Lydia burst into tears and sank to the floor. Derek crouched at her side and put his arm around her. Gabby came to Lydia’s other side and did the same.

  Mona took out her phone. “Time to call the police. Mrs Lilac, sit down. You’re not leaving this hairdresser’s without a police escort.”

  Chapter 15

  It was a long time later that Derek returned home. He’d had a lot of explaining to do at the police station. He didn’t tell them he could see ghosts, and neither did Lydia or Mona. Luckily, Mrs Lilac was more than happy to tell the police what she had done to Gabby. She seemed to think that the police would understand why she had done it. She even seemed to be under the impression that the police would sympathise with her and let her go free.

  Derek had spoken to Lydia and Mona later about Gabby. He passed on messages from Gabby to them both but he wasn’t convinced that they believed him. It didn’t matter any more. Gabby was at peace now.

  He walked into his kitchen and reached for the kettle. A nice cup of tea was called for. He felt a warmth at his side. Pearl patted him on the shoulder and said, “You’ve done a great job, Derek, love. I’m proud of you.”

  Derek filled the kettle and switched it on. He leant against a cupboard and smiled. “It makes it all worthwhile when you see how peaceful they become at the end. Gabby finally stopped chewing her invisible gum!”

  “She didn’t need to any more.”

  Derek nodded. “I could feel the peace coming from her as she lit up. It was lovely. I almost felt like floating after her myself. Where do the ghosts go when they move on?”

  Pearl shrugged and looked away. “Somewhere pleasant.”

  Derek caught her sad look. “Pearl, why haven’t you moved on?”

  She looked back at him. He noticed that her eyes were glistening. “I’ve got work to do. It’s not time for me to move on yet. Have you had anything to eat? You need to look after yourself. I wish I could make you a meal. I used to make the best chicken stew this side of the Pennines.”

  “I’ll make myself a sandwich. Can you stay for a while? I could do with the company.”

  She gave him a gentle smile. “I’ll stay as long as you like. I could do with the company myself. I like talking to you, Derek.”

  “And I like talking to you. Shall we have some music?” He switched the radio on.

  Pearl clapped her hands. “I love this one! I used to dance to it.”

  Derek held his arms out. “Shall we?”

  Pearl laughed and moved into his arms. “If anyone looks through your kitchen window they’ll think you’ve completely lost the plot!”

  “I don’t care.” Derek felt the warmth of Pearl’s hands on him as he twirled her around the kitchen. They danced into his living room.

  Pearl said, “If I’m going to visit you more often, Mr Quill, there’s one demand I must make.”

  “Anything.”

  Pearl nodded her head towards the tasselled cushions that Mona Coleman had bought him. “Those cushions have definitely got to go!”

  Derek laughed and twirled her around. “Your wish is my command. They’re as good as gone. You’re quite a nifty mover, Pearl.”

  “You’re not so bad yourself, Mr Quill. Let’s have another dance.”

  Derek danced with his ghostly friend for the rest of the afternoon. All thoughts of his sandwich and cup of tea were forgotten. His thoughts were focused solely on Pearl and her twinkling eyes.

  A Dreadful Day Out

  Chapter 1

  “Well excuse me! Have I walked into some sort of orgy? What’s going on in here? Explain yourselves!”

  Derek Quill looked over at the female ghost who had suddenly appeared in his living room. She was a large woman in her late sixties. She was sensibly dressed in a tweed skirt, jumper and a light-coloured waterproof coat. He gave her a smile and said, “Hello there.”

  The woman bristled and folded her arms tightly. Her mouth tightened in disapproval and she looked Derek up and down. She ordered, “I told you to explain yourselves! What is that old woman doing to you? It’s disgusting.”

  The old woman in question tutted and moved her hands away from Derek’s shoulders. “I’m giving Derek a heat treatment, if you must know! He’s done too much gardening today.” She looked back at Derek from her standing position behind the sofa. “I told you not to do your neighbours’ gardens. They can do their own.”

  Derek chuckled. “I honestly don’t mind.” He moved his shoulders. “That feels much better. Thank you, Pearl. You’ve got the magic touch.” Pearl was also a ghost. She had curly grey hair and wore a long blue dress. She was fast becoming his best friend.

  Pearl wriggled her fingers in the air. “Any time, my love.”

  Their visitor snorted in disgust. She jabbed a finger in Pearl’s direction and snapped, “Is this what you get up to? I was told that you were the ghost to turn to with any problems. You don’t look as if you’d be any use to anyone!” She shook her head. “Look at the state of you! Putting your hands all over that feeble-looking old man! It’s disgusting. It’s not right.”

  Her words hung in the air. Derek shared a look with Pearl. He made to rise out of his seat. Pearl placed a hand on his shoulder and said, “I’ll deal with this, Derek, love.” She moved towards the other ghost. In a quiet voice she said, “Whoever you are, you’re an uninvited guest. I’ll ask you to keep a civil tongue in your head. And keep your disgusting thoughts in your head too. And furthermore …”

  The ghost interrupted, “I’ll say what I damn well want to say! I always have and I always will!”

  Pearl’s jaw clenched and she took a step forward. She was a few inches shorter than the ghost in front of her. Derek knew from past experience that Pearl wasn’t frightened of
anything, or anyone. Pearl spoke again, “I certainly am the person who can help other ghosts. I decide who needs my help. And this lovely man, Derek Quill, helps me. When I decide to help a ghost I invite them here and we discuss the ghost’s problem.” Her voice rose slightly. “We do not appreciate ghosts appearing uninvited and then shouting at us! We do not have to help you at all! Is that clear?”

  The woman’s folded arms dropped. “Well! I can’t say that I like being spoken to in that manner!”

  “I couldn’t care less,” Pearl informed her. “You can stay here and politely ask for our help. Or you can …” she paused, took a moment to compose herself, and continued, “clear off. Which is it going to be?”

  “Well!” The woman looked from Pearl to Derek, and back again. She sighed and seemed to deflate. “I suppose I could give you a go, see if you’re any good.”

  Pearl shared an exasperated look with Derek. She turned back to the woman and gave her a stern look. “We’re the ones who make the decisions. Go on then, give us all the gory details. How did you die?”

  Derek stood up and waved his hand towards the chair opposite him. “Please take a seat. You could start by telling us your name. And, if you can remember, you can tell us how you died.”

  The woman gave him a curt nod and moved towards the chair. “I’m Beryl Sherburn. Don’t ask for my age because that’s none of your business!” She suddenly swayed on her feet. Her hand moved towards the chair to steady herself but it passed right through it.

  Derek said, “Are you alright?” He turned towards Pearl. “What’s wrong with her?”

  Pearl moved over to Beryl and put her hands on Beryl’s arms. “Steady on there. Sit yourself down before you fall down.” She helped Beryl into the chair. Pearl looked over at Derek, raised her eyebrows and wrinkled her nose.

  Derek’s nose wrinkled too as he caught the aroma that was coming from Beryl.