“It was a beautiful wedding,” her mother said at her elbow.
She turned and looked into her mother’s moist eyes. “Was it?”
“Why, of course, it was,” Sandra said. “You look beautiful.”
Honor was surprised at such an outright compliment. “Thank you.”
“Now, you go back out there and visit with your guests. I imagine your new husband will be wanting you.”
Your new husband. Honor drew in a breath, steeling herself. “Jah. I imagine he will.”
“Go on, then. We have this under control.”
“All right.” Honor turned and walked through the bustling women back to the front room, where the men were busily setting up tables around the perimeter of the room. She and Gabe would sit in the corner, or the “Eck.” The guests would eat in shifts as there were too many people to be seated all at once. But nobody minded. Not many homes had enough space to seat such a large crowd at once.
Gabe caught her eye from where he was helping with chairs. He winked at her with such pleasure that her breath caught. He truly did love her. She leaned against the doorframe to gather her wits. If he loved her so much, it would surely be fine. People grew to love others all the time, didn’t they? She walked across the room to where he was and reached out to grab his hand. His eyes widened slightly, clearly surprised.
“Wife,” he said, smiling down at her.
“Husband,” she responded, smiling at him. Tears of gratitude burned her eyes when she realized that her smile was real this time.
“We did it,” he said.
“Jah. We did it.”
“We’re going to have a wonderful future,” he whispered in her ear.
His breath tickled her, and she wiggled a bit, now growing uncomfortable despite her best efforts. “Jah,” she made herself answer. And this time, her smile faltered.
But Gabe didn’t seem to notice. He was flying high that day, and Honor doubted anything could make him come down.
* * *
It was ten-thirty at night, and the last guest had finally left. Honor was exhausted, and her cheeks ached from smiling. The day had gone smoothly, and she had her mother and the women to thank for that. Everyone had eaten their fill—twice, and there was plenty left over. Honor suppressed the urge to climb upstairs to her room and collapse in bed. She wouldn’t be sleeping there again, she continually had to remind herself.
“Are you ready to head home?” Gabe asked her.
She nodded, rubbing her eyes. “I am ready.”
Her mother stood and gave her a long hug. “I’m happy for you, daughter,” she murmured in her ear. “I’ll miss you something fierce, but we’ll see you plenty before we leave.”
Honor’s throat tightened. She snuggled into her mother’s arms. And then Sandra Kennel let her go. Honor looked at her father, who was busy poking at the fire in the warming stove.
“Gut-night, Dat,” she said. “Thank you for everything.”
Jerrod looked up at her and then closed the heavy iron door of the stove. “You’re welcome, daughter.” His eyes misted over. “You rest well tonight. You’ll be doing a lot of visiting over these next days.”
It was true. She and Gabe would be expected to go all over the district every weekend, collecting their wedding gifts and even spending the night with people. It was tradition, but right then, all Honor could think was that it was going to be exhausting.
“You should go to the Springers first,” Sandra said. “Your aenti and onkel will be offended if you don’t. Besides, being there with Willa should please you.”
And it would. Visiting the Springers first would be easy. Honor had spent many a night at their farm; although, never with a new husband in tow. Her mind flew to her cousin. Willa had been animated and cheerful the entire day, but Honor knew it wasn’t because of her wedding. It was because Collin was back from his fancy world. Just like he’d promised Willa, he’d come back to become Amish. Honor had doubted it, but Collin had proved her wrong.
Collin had returned as quickly as he could and was planning to take instruction in the fall. Willa was over the moon about it and about Collin himself. She loved him dearly. Honor glanced at Gabe. She moved closer to him, her determination rising once again. Hers was going to be a good marriage. It was.
Gabe took her hand. “We’ll be going now. I’ll hitch up the buggy.”
“No need,” Jerrod said. “I saw Lloyd hitch it up about an hour ago.”
Honor smiled. Leave it to cousin Lloyd to even think to do it.
“All right, then. Thank you for everything today. I’m mighty beholden to you.”
Sandra nodded. “Twas our pleasure.”
“Gut-night.” Gabe picked up Honor’s suitcase that was sitting by the door, and the two of them went out into the cool night air.
Chapter Eight
Honor shivered and Gabe let go of her hand and put his arm around her. “You cold?”
“A little.”
“Don’t worry. Dat and Mamm will have lit the stove in the daadi haus.”
“We’re staying in there right away, then?” she asked, a bit surprised. She assumed that they’d stay in the big house with the family for the first few months.
“Jah. I didn’t see any reason for us not to,” he said. “Mamm was a bit ferhoodled, but she got over it.” He laughed.
Honor let Gabe open the buggy door for her. She climbed into the left side, thinking that this was where she would ride now for the rest of her life. He climbed into the right side, the buggy dipping under his weight.
“Did you enjoy it?” Gabe asked, snapping the reins over Aspen’s rear end. “The wedding, I mean.”
“Jah. It was nice.”
“Your dress is right pretty. You looked beautiful, Honor.” His voice thickened.
“Thank you,” she said. “You looked fine in your suit, too.”
He smiled and she could easily see his teeth gleaming in the lights from the front of the buggy. Gabe had a newer buggy, with a propane heating system. Honor had admired Gabe’s buggy many times and had enjoyed the smooth ride and modern trappings. His buggy even had a foot brake system for the front two tires.
Gabe was looking at her, and she averted her eyes, looking out the side window. “Spring is coming quick-like,” she said lamely.
“Jah,” he answered. “Planting will be here soon. I’m hoping to be finished with our visiting beforehand. I want to be around to help Dat.”
“Of course. And we only have to visit on the weekends, ain’t so?”
He nodded. “Ach, but I’m tired.”
“Me, too.”
The rest of the short ride was made in silence. Gabe pulled the buggy to a stop at the barn and jumped down, hurrying around to Honor’s side to help her out. “I need to see to Aspen. Do you want to wait or go into the big house and wait with Mamm?”
Honor had no desire to go into the big house for more visiting. “I’ll wait for you here.”
He seemed pleased with her answer and quickly set about unhitching the horse and taking care of him. Honor stood beside her suitcase in the yard, watching him. For such a big man, he moved smoothly and with a quick agility. In less than ten minutes, he emerged back from the barn. He grabbed up her suitcase, and they began walking across the yard.
“So, you wanted to go see your mamm before going to the daadi haus?” All at once, Honor thought it was a good idea. It would certainly put off their going to bed together.
“Nee. Let’s not. I’m tired. We’ll have breakfast with them tomorrow.”
Honor gulped. “All right.”
They walked around the big house to the daadi haus out back. Gabe walked up the steps and opened the door for her. “I hear the Englisch carry their brides over the threshold,” he said. “Do you want me—”
“Nee,” Honor said quickly before he could finish. “We don’t take to Englisch ways, do we?”
“I just thought it might be fun…”
She walked by him thro
ugh the door. Someone had left two lanterns burning and Gabe was right—the fire in the stove had been lit and created a cozy atmosphere.
Gabe shut the door and then stood awkwardly. “Do you … well, should I take your suitcase up?”
Honor swallowed hard. She nodded.
“You want to go right up?”
She glanced around the house, looking for anything that might reasonably detain her. There was nothing.
“All right.”
Gabe blew out one lantern and then picked up the other. The stairway was narrow, so Honor went up first. She could hear Gabe breathing behind her. He was so close, she expected him to step on her heels.
“I should have removed my shoes downstairs,” she said.
“It won’t matter this one time. Besides, I didn’t remove mine either.”
They turned down the hallway and Gabe stepped forward to open their bedroom door. There was a lantern burning in there, too. Gabe put down the lantern he carried. With both lamps lit, the room was bathed in bright light. Gabe put her suitcase down on the bed.
“You’ll want to get out your nightgown, I expect,” he said.
She could feel his nervousness, and it mingled with hers. Her breathing was shallow, and she felt light-headed. This was it. They would truly become man and wife that night. She opened the latches with a resounding snap and reached inside for her nightgown, which was on top. She pulled it out and held it to her chest.
“Uh, well, uh, I’ll go use the bathroom,” Gabe said, exiting quickly from the room.
Honor began unfastening her dress with shaking fingers. It dropped to the floor and she stepped out of it. She put her nightgown on and then picked up her dress and hung it on a peg just inside the door. She took off her black head covering and laid it on top of the dresser. And then she began pulling the pins out of her bun.
“Let me do it,” Gabe said from the doorway.
She gave a start, her hands freezing in mid-air. He stepped behind her and she felt his big-ness, felt his breath on her neck. His large fingers fumbled a bit on the pins, and it took him a while to get them all out, and then her hair tumbled down over her shoulders, reaching her waist.
He made a noise in the back of his throat, and then his hands were in her hair, his fingers pulling gently through the long soft tresses.
“You’re beautiful,” he breathed.
She stared straight ahead, her entire being tingling with his presence. Her stomach trembled—she had never been so nervous in her life.
“It’ll be all right,” he whispered in her ear. “Don’t be afraid.”
She tried, oh, how she tried. She wished that she wanted to throw herself in his arms. She wished that he took her breath away because of her love and desire for him. She wished that he was the love of her life. She wished that marrying him was the happiest most wonderful thing she’d ever done.
Instead, her throat was filled with tears and her heart drummed with nerves and regrets and apprehension.
He turned her slowly until she was facing him. “Honor?” he whispered.
She gulped, fighting the tears that flooded her eyes.
He stared at her, his expression changing from desire and love to confusion. He stepped back and his hands fell from her arms to his sides.
“I-I’m real tired, Gabe,” she stuttered.
He blinked and his face went blank. “Of course,” he finally said, taking another step back. “Of course, you are. It’s been a real long day. Uh… We should get some sleep.”
Honor nearly sobbed with relief. “Jah,” she said, her voice shaking at her reprieve. “Some sleep.”
He’d already put on his nightclothes, and now he walked to one of the lanterns and blew it out. Honor scurried into bed, lying on her side facing the window. She lay on the very edge of the mattress. She heard Gabe sigh, and the sound scraped through her. When the second lantern was snuffed out and Gabe climbed into the other side of the bed and it sank a bit, she told herself to turn over. To snuggle up to him. To kiss him goodnight.
But she didn’t move. She couldn’t. Exhaustion and reproval for herself filled her heart and mind and spirit until all she could do was close her eyes and fall into a troubled sleep.
Chapter Nine
Gabe was up by five, tiptoeing around the bedroom so as not to wake his new bride. His new bride. He paused and looked at her form in the bed. It was still dark out, but he could see her shape well enough. She’d slept restlessly, thrashing around until the wee hours of morning. His heart went out to her. She’d confused him the night before, but by morning, he’d been at peace with the fact that she truly had been too exhausted for anything.
He wanted to be a good husband to her, wanted to make her happy, and if that meant putting off certain things, he would do that. And surely, she would feel better today.
He pulled his suspenders over his shoulders and told himself to sneak out of the room quietly, but he was so drawn to her that he couldn’t help himself. He could just slip over and kiss her gently on the forehead. He wouldn’t wake her, just press his lips to her soft skin before going out into the chilly morning.
He went to her side of the bed and leaned down. He couldn’t see her face clearly, but he imagined her beauty and he breathed her in. She smelled sweet, like shampoo and soap and honey. He kissed her so gently, so tenderly that he was shaking.
She stirred, and he jerked back, startled.
“Wh-what…?” she muttered and then moaned, shifting in bed.
“Sorry,” he said. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“Huh?” And then she regained full consciousness. She bolted upright and drew the quilt up to her chest. “Gabe?”
“I’m sorry, Honor. I didn’t mean to wake you. I, uh, I’m just heading outside to help Dat with the animals.”
“Oh.” Her voice was breathless.
“Did … did you sleep well?” he asked. Now that she was awake, he didn’t want to leave. Surely, his dad could see to the animals. His brothers were there, too, come to think on it.
“I… Jah, I slept well.”
He tentatively moved closer and then sat down beside her, putting his hand over hers where she clutched the quilt up around her neck. “I’m glad. Do you feel better this morning?”
“Better?”
“Well, uh, last night you were so tired.”
Even in the shadows, he saw her eyes grow wide. He swallowed, silently scolding himself for speaking so boldly.
“I, I’m better. Did you sleep well?” she asked, her hands not moving from the quilt.
“I slept fine.” He smiled at her, touching her cheek. “It’s our first day as man and wife,” he said, loving how the word wife sounded.
“Jah.”
Was it his imagination, or was she shrinking back from him?
“You all right, Honor?”
She cleared her throat and lowered her hands. The quilt stayed tucked up around her neck, however. “I’m perfectly fine,” she said. “I think I should rise and get breakfast started.”
“Nee, you don’t have to. It’s your first morning here, and Mamm will fix us breakfast. I reckon, she’ll expect us most mornings for breakfast at the big house, anyway.”
Honor shook her head. “But I should fix breakfast for my own husband.”
He smiled at her use of the word. Would he ever get used to the words wife and husband? Would they ever seem like plain old terms to him again?
But he knew his mother would be mighty disappointed if they didn’t show up for breakfast. “Let Mamm fix it for us, Honor. She’s counting on it.”
Honor sank back against the headboard. “All right.”
“I, well, I was thinking that maybe Dat and my brothers could see to the animals and chores this morning without my help.”
He felt, rather than saw, her tense up. He wanted to bite his tongue. Clearly, he’d said something wrong again. He coughed. “You know, seeing as it’s our first morning together.”
When
she didn’t respond, he cringed. Was he making it worse? Was she still feeling shy with him? He could have sworn she didn’t have a shy bone in her body. Yet, here she was, practically cowering at his proximity.
“Things will work out,” he said, his voice low, wanting more than anything to reassure her.
She wriggled around him and got out of bed. “Since I don’t need to be making breakfast here, maybe I could go over and help your mamm.”
Gabe reached out and caught her hand. It felt thin and warm in his. “Can you stay a minute? Mamm might not even be up yet.”
Honor hesitated, and then she said. “Jah. I can stay a minute.”
He got up and went around the bed and lit the lantern. The circle of yellow light flickered around them, filling the corner with elongated shadows. He went back around the bed and sat again, patting the spot beside him. Honor sat down. He took one of her hands in his again.
He stared at her beautiful face, taking in her wide brown eyes with the flecks of green, her smooth skin, and her silky tussled hair. He reached out and pressed a long lock of hair behind her ear. Then he leaned close, his heart beating wildly. He touched her lips with his and energy shot through him. She tasted so good, so sweet, so lovely. He deepened his kiss, even though she made no move to reciprocate. And then finally, her lips began to move under his. His heart jumped to his throat, and he continued to press his lips on hers.
Time stopped. Nothing existed but this beautiful woman beside him. His mind lost all reason and he knew Honor possessed him, heart and soul.
* * *
Honor stood just inside the front door of the daadi haus, waiting for Gabe to come downstairs. Like he’d mentioned, he’d skipped helping his dad and brothers that morning. They’d spent the time together and Honor hoped, no prayed, that he’d been pleased with her.
Her husband.
The thought still made her apprehensive, but it was fixed. She would live with Gabe Chupp for the rest of her life. She forced a smile. It would take some getting used to, but she would adjust. She glanced around the daadi haus. It was a nice home, and she could put a few of her doilies out and make it a bit more personal. And her mother had promised her a set of tea cups. Seeing them in the cupboard would make it feel more like home to her.
Honor's Wedding (Hollybrook Amish Romance) Page 4