“Are you playing some game with me, Erica?” He shook the picture in his hand. “Do you think it is funny to see just exactly how stupid I can be?”
The air was sucked from the room and the corners rolled and bent like a funhouse mirror. “You’re not stupid,” I said quietly, as my entire body began shaking.
I reached out for my dog and he threw it against the wall, shattering the frame. I crawled on my knees through the glass and grabbed the picture off the floor. I looked back at him and wondered why he would do something so awful.
“It’s a picture, it isn’t your dog. Are you stupid or mentally touched?” His eyes looked almost crazed and he was speaking through clenched teeth. “I can’t go through all the lies again, so either be real with me or get the hell out of my life.”
I stared at him, with no idea who he was. I thought he was my Julius, but he was only pretending, and he was tired of pretending now. I stood and looked down at my bloody knees and then at the picture in my hand. I walked to my bedroom door and looked back at the stranger sitting on my bed. I knew the picture wasn’t real, I wasn’t stupid or touched, but I worked all day and couldn’t take care of a real dog properly. It was fun to have a fake dog, only fun.
“You can go,” I whispered, and walked from the room. I went outside and crawled onto the hood of my car, lying back against the windshield as I stared up at the sky. He changed into someone else after asking me not to change one single thing. He wanted to be a square after all.
He came out of my house and got into his car without ever noticing me. Maybe I should have told him it was how other people treated me and that was the exact reason I got my dog and sisters from the internet. They didn’t judge me or call me names. They didn’t call my parents in for conferences and tell them to insist I act ‘normal’. I didn’t want to be normal, I was a squiggle and it would kill me to be a square.
I looked down at my shorts, well, his shorts, and saw I got them bloody. I reached down with my finger and held it to the bleeding cut before bringing it up to my face. I stared at the blood in the darkness and wondered if it was somehow different from other people’s blood, maybe mine had something in it that made it impossible to be a square, and I needed to find someone with the same blood as me. But, my heart wanted Julius and he cut me and made me bleed. My knees looked just how my heart felt, raw, sliced, and seeping.
When Claire and Amos got home, I hurried into the house and locked my bedroom door. I looked at the carnage of the broken frame and burst into tears. I understood Julius was afraid of being tricked again, but I couldn’t prove to him I was loyal if he wouldn’t let me be who I truly was.
The night moved at a slow, excruciating pace. I wanted to call him so badly, but I knew he was the one who should apologize, not me. It was my second sleepless night and I was running out of energy to keep going.
Chapter 9
It was not even sun-up when the doorbell rang. I heard Claire’s bedroom door open, so I remained quietly at my own door and tried to hear some conversation. I heard her invite Julius inside and offered to go wake me. I was ready to accuse her of being a traitor but luckily there was no need. Julius refused her offer and asked to speak with her on the back porch, which was actually closer to my window, so I could hear a lot clearer.
“I think I ruined everything with Tobi,” Julius admitted. “I’m so afraid of making the wrong decision, but I have to admit I can’t be without her. I need her too badly.”
Claire was quiet for a moment and I thought she must have known I was listening, but when she finally spoke it was loud enough for me to hear. She was such a good friend.
“I’ve had a lot of friends in my life, but none of them as true and loyal as Toto. She has never let me down, and she has been my strongest defender. Sure, sometimes she drives you crazy and you don’t understand what she is talking about.” Could have left that out, buddy. “But, if she loves you, there is nothing you could do to ruin it. She is the most forgiving person I know.”
“I want to ask her right now to be my wife,” he said, and my brain turned to mush. He didn’t just come to apologize, he came to propose. Holy crap, he’s coming to my room to propose and I have bloody knees and a line going down my face from lying on my arm.
I jumped up and ran to lock the door. I pulled off his shorts, still commando, and dug through my drawer for the perfect proposal panties. I could hear him coming down the hallway, dang it. I ran to my closet and grabbed a dress off a hanger and pulled it over my head just as he knocked on the door.
“Just a minute,” I yelled, and ran a brush through my hair and let it hang over the side of my face with the line as I hopped into the panties.
I opened the door and smiled at him. His eyes narrowed, and he looked me up and down before covering his mouth and trying not to laugh. I stepped back and looked in my mirror. I still had on his mom’s tee under the dress, which I had put on inside out, and the hem of the material was stuck in my underwear on one side.
“No,” I cried. “Go back outside and let me try again, you can’t propose to me like this.”
His eyes widened, and he looked over at my window. “You could hear us?”
“No,” I lied, and then quickly realized it wasn’t smart to start out my proposal lying to him, so I said, “Yes.”
“I just want to talk,” he told me, and I knew I picked the wrong damn panties. “We need to have a long discussion without touching each other, just talking.” He nodded for me to sit on my bed before reaching into his pocket for a piece of paper. “First of all, I want to show you my new dog.” He handed me a picture of a Dalmatian wearing a tiny fireman’s outfit. “His name is Hoser.”
Well, I’m sorry, but when a sexy guy spends the time to find a fake dog there is no way you can keep your hands off him. I touched him in a way that made his mother’s tee blush. He had to push me away as he tried to calm himself. I was gasping for air and he held his arm out to keep me back.
“Tobi, Ashley and Jennifer both fell in love with me after they found out I am the Carmichael heir, not my father.” I began thinking about kings and castles and I imagined the large Hershey Kiss shaped tops on St. Basil’s cathedral. I had a sudden urge for chocolate. “Tobi,” he yelled, as he shook me lightly by the shoulders. “Focus on what I’m telling you. I inherited my grandparent’s money and it was why Ashley and Jen married me.”
“You paid them for sex?” I asked with total disgust. And Jennifer owed him his money back after faking her talents.
He growled in frustration and finally asked bluntly, “Are you after my money?”
“I get a paycheck, Julius, why would I want your money?” I was beginning to worry about his mental capacities. Maybe Amos’s stupidity was expanding again.
I stood to pull off the inside-out dress, and when he saw my knees he knelt on his own and kissed my small cuts. “I’m sorry,” he said with heartfelt eyes.
“You made it all good with Hoser,” I told him, because he searched online for a fake dog just for me and I loved his attempt to be a squiggle.
“I think this would be a better apology,” he said, and pulled out a small box from his pocket.
He opened it to reveal a band of diamonds, but not just a straight band, one that made a squiggle of small diamonds across the front. It was the prettiest ring I had ever seen. I stared at his hand, unable to find the nerve to touch it. Did he really buy me a squiggle ring to say he was sorry? It would elevate him to God status, if Travis would be willing to relinquish the title.
“Tobi, I lost all hope of finding someone who would be loyal and love me for who I am, and then I found this odd, beautiful, crazy, confusing woman and she promised she would never cheat on me.”
Oh, he was talking about me! Yeah, I would never cheat on him; he was my dirt in which I could grow, my water which would sustain me, and my air that would give me life. I really should be saying this aloud, so he would know I loved him.
“Are you going to answer me?” he
asked.
Crap, I missed my proposal. You would think I would be able to focus long enough to have a man propose to me. “Yes, Julius, my answer is yes.”
“I’ll have Layton give you a call,” he said.
Wait, he didn’t propose? What did I just say yes to? I was afraid to ask and noticed he didn’t put the ring on my finger, he simply handed me the box. I was beyond confused but it ceased to be an issue when he pulled me with him onto the bed and kissed the panties right off me. I was fully conscious for the wall pounding, but once he began rubbing light circles on my back I was out cold.
I woke to the sound of my phone ringing and Julius gone from my bed. It was Sara; I had completely forgotten about her southern dilemma and promised to show up quickly. I grabbed all the stuff and rushed over to Travis’ apartment only after she assured me neither man was there. I teased and ratted our hair, making it look like we were wearing helmets. I applied our makeup in a brash, obvious way and then put her in a bright-pink, tight shirt with Capri leggings. I wore an oversized man’s button-up with my own Capri tights.
As I worked, I told Sara her back story. Her parents owned a small café and a beauty shop in a rural town west of Atlanta near the Alabama border. She lost a brother in a train accident, and even though she had diabetes she would still have lots of babies.
For the final step, I cut up some green tomatoes and told her to fry them as I rested on Julius’ bed. I didn’t make it to the comfy bed, only to the comfy toilet, before Sara came crashing into the bathroom. “They’re here, what should I do?”
“Pretend to be a deaf mute,” I told her, and pulled up my panties as I headed to the bed.
“No, you got me into this mess, so you have to help me,” she demanded.
I wanted to sleep so badly, but I headed to the living room and found Travis with his family, a tall man who looked just like him, and then two women who were obviously mother and daughter. I looked at them with a wide smile and noticed not one of them had big hair, in fact, they had perfectly straightened hair.
Travis gave me a very odd look and asked, “Is Sara here?”
“Um yeah, she’s making her Grandma Idgie’s tomato recipe,” I said, and looked at his mother as she glanced at her daughter. I needed to add more, they weren’t buying it, so I said, “She can eat the tomatoes even with her diabetes.”
“Sara doesn’t have diabetes,” Travis said with a hint of irritation. I was so tired I had to think who I had assigned the diabetes.
Just then Sara came out of the kitchen with a plate covered in black circles. Travis looked at her clothing and then back at mine. “Hi, I’m Sara, would anyone like a fried green tomato?”
Everyone stared at the circular bits of charcoal and shook their heads adamantly. I needed to save her, but I could only think of one scene from the movies, so I said, “I’ll tell you all about Sara’s cooking. You know what they say, if you don’t have anything nice to say, come sit by me.”
“You told me how to make them, I can cook just fine,” Sara said angrily, as she set the plate down.
She wasn’t even using a pretend accent and I felt we were failing miserably. She was losing her southern gentleman and I had to do something. Out of desperation, I grabbed Sara by the elbows and spun her in front of Travis’s mom. “Here, hit her. You’ll feel much better if you smack her. Come on, knock her lights out.”
Julius walked through the door and looked at the scene in front of him. I had huge hair, Sara was terrified, Travis looked like his world was coming to an end, and the whole place smelled like burnt tomatoes. Julius figured everything out in one sweep of the room.
“Oh, Lord,” he mumbled, and took my arms off Sara. He tried to smile and act like he was completely in charge, because he was the only one not ready to dirty his pants. “Sara, run into Travis’s room and find something to wear. Stovalls welcome, please come in and have a seat. Tobi, go get in my bed before you fall down, and I’ll bring you something to eat.”
I headed down the hallway in total despair as my attempt to save Sara’s relationship shattered around me. I crashed onto the bed and the last thing I heard was Julius saying he was taking everyone to a late lunch on the wharf.
I didn’t hear anything else for the rest of the evening. I woke up the next morning to the faint smell of burnt tomatoes, but mostly the strong smell of coffee. I sat up with my teased hair looking like Marge Simpson’s and realized I was in Julius’ bed. I was somehow missing my pants, but I was still wearing the button-down shirt and panties. I walked into the kitchen to find Sara looking adorable, and northern, and Travis looking like he was trying awfully hard not to laugh.
“Why are you still here?” I asked Sara. I thought she would be sent packing through the Underground Railroad as Travis’s family sipped Mint Juleps and fanned their selves on the front porch.
“I wanted to kill you, Tobi, but it seems my effort to be southern is just about as good as actually being southern. They were so impressed by everything I went through I was welcomed into the family.
“Everything YOU went through,” I yelled. “If effort makes one acceptable then they are my stupid family, Sara. I was the one who went to all the trouble.”
Julius walked up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. “See, you are cheating on me already.”
I spun around to see his smiling face and I was not in the mood for this kind of joke. “Don’t tease about that, Julius, I don’t find that funny at all. I’ve been nothing but loyal to you.” I didn’t want to have this discussion in front of the others, but I also wasn’t going to let everything just pass. I marched down to his room to find my pants, so I could leave.
“Well, you are not getting within ten feet of my family ever again,” Travis yelled after me, sounding a lot more southern than he did before his family arrived.
“I was trying to help,” I screamed back at his snooty southern butt.
“Well, go help Julius. He’s the one who is about ready to be disowned.”
I came back into the room and looked at my guy’s sad, guilty face. He was having major family drama and not sharing it with me, so I must be the reason for the major family drama. “What’s going on?” I asked him softly.
He grimaced and looked away as if extremely constipated or extremely uncomfortable with the subject. Finally, he looked back at me and said, “I’m leaving Carmichael Corporation.”
“I know,” I told him.
“I’m buying a club,” he continued, “The Driftwood.”
I laughed and then waited for him to tell me he was joking, but he looked at Travis and added more. “Travis and I are going to be partners. We’ll open another club in the city if the Driftwood is successful. It’s a big gamble but the numbers look really good. Jessop has a captive audience with the loggers and the fishermen and that brings in the women. The nearby college brings in the students. He’s tired of the long hours and wants to sell.”
“You’ll have to move to Harborton,” I told him, and felt like the room was twisting along with my heart.
“Or Cartwright,” he said, and let his head drop. I wasn’t sure if he wanted to live even further from me or just used the town’s name as a reference point.
“Why haven’t you told me any of this?” I asked and tried not to cry.
“Because I wanted to surprise you,” he said, and got a sheepish look on his face.
“Well, I’m surprised.” I couldn’t even force a smile. I felt deflated and my arms hung uselessly at my side.
“There’s more,” he added, and I actually had to sit down. He looked at my eyes to make sure I was listening and said, “I bought a house for us in Cartwright.”
Travis and Sara left the room, so I could be alone with Julius, still in my big ratty hair and pant-less legs. I made myself think before I spoke, because I was pretty much going to go with all out screaming, the kind that neighbors call the police when they hear.
“You bought US a house in Cartwright?” I asked and t
ried to keep my tone generic. I wasn’t even sure if we were engaged, but he was purchasing real-estate.
“There’s more,” he said softly, as if it was going to kill him to say the next words he had planned.
“More? What more could there be unless you bought the Staple’s house?” I said with a cynical laugh, because really, what could be more absurd then living in the house your ex-wife was raised in and honed her whore craft? He looked at his feet, and I know he has perfect toes, but not so perfect that it would dissolve the fact he bought a house in Cartwright. “Tell me the ‘more’,” I instructed him.
“Ibothehousujussaid,” he mumbled.
“You bit the juicy head?”
“No, I bought the house you just said,” he repeated clearly.
“What house did I just… NO,” I gasped, and covered my mouth with my hand. “No, Julius, NO. I will NOT live in that house, EVER. NO, oh my heck, NO!”
“George wants out of town after seeing the video, he sold the house at a big loss, and I’ll tear it down and build a new one if you want.”
My happiness was slowly disappearing as if someone was using an eraser on my life. Bit-by-bit it was rubbed out, leaving me empty and desperate. “Why didn’t you ask me? I don’t want to live in Cartwright,” I said, as tears began to fall.
Julius licked his lips and let his shoulders slump with his own despair. We were at an impasse that could possibly end our relationship. There were times I felt he understood me completely, but at other times I felt he didn’t have a clue as to who I was. I didn’t need him to jump into things. I was willing to take as long as we needed to make sure everything worked.
“I thought you would want to be close to Claire,” he said to sweeten the deal.
“Oh my God… Amos. Do you realize what you have done? You want me to live in a town where Shrek is king. Where I have to see him again… and obey him.”
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